Be U: When It's Time

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

When It's Time

I've been thinking, saying, feeling that I may make a move or change a pattern.

I hear that awareness comes first. I want to try not to beat myself up and know and trust when I am ready, it will happen.

I trust that I am where I need to be right now in this moment. I trust the process of living that I have what I need and I will be okay no matter what. I have faith that answers will come to me when I truly need them and life will work itself out always.

Accepting what is and not fighting what is feels better at times, although not always possible. If I look at the truth of things, accept them and understand them and then incorporate a plan to go in the direction of my happy.

If I feel nervous, I ask myself 'what is my goal in the moment". If I feel scared, I trust that all will work out. If I feel stuck, I sit with it and allow the stuckness for a bit and I know, 99.9% of the time, it passes.

Life is interesting and full of patterns and behaviors. If we change one thing, no matter how small, can it set change into motion and everything we truly need will come.

If we continue on exactly as we are; we will get exactly what we've been getting. One change - using our opposite hand to brush our teeth - will start the process of change and it can be exciting to see where we go and end up each day.

Each day is a new day of unlimited possibities. One second can change things. One second is all it may take.

I wish you peace, love and knowing. I wish you happiness and joy. When it's time, it will come. I want to allow life to run through me just as things are. I want to accept it and know it. I want to breathe it and trust it.

When it's time, I hope to know and experience and grab whatever life offers me to the fullest of my ability. When I am unable to 'grab' much - I want to be okay with that. Is this a choice I can truly make; to be okay, regardless.

Can you choose to allow life to fill you up and to trust when your time to act is upon you, you will know exactly what to do and how to do it?

Time will tell.

No comments:

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!

Coming for the Real You.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

When It's Time

No comments:

Post a Comment