Emotions and Thoughts

How many different emotions do you feel each day...  Do you feel the same ones each day...  Do you feel some more than others...  Do you wish you would feel one or more differently than your 'normal' feelings now...

How many thoughts do you think each day...  Do you know that out of the thoughts we think each day - close to 75% of them we rethink again and again...day after day.

Awareness.   'They' say awareness comes first.

Awareness of your emotions; awareness of your thoughts.  With this awareness, perhaps, comes a chance to change things up.

If there is just one thought; one sentence, that you want to stop thinking today, which would it be...  Perhaps, you can catch yourself thinking it and say 'no more'.  Perhaps, you can replace it with a different; another thought.

If I hear myself saying, "Man, I'm a nervous wreck", I am training myself to be a nervous wreck.  When I hear myself thinking this, I can say "no more".  I can choose "I am calm, cool and collected." over a nervous wreck. This feels way better to me and 'in' me than my first, original thought.

I can do this as often and whenever I catch myself.  Eventually, I win.  The one who thinks the thoughts.

Perhaps, when you feel yourself feeling an emotion that you'd rather not feel, may you ask yourself "Am I feeling this for real reasons or just because I am used to this feeling?"  I can breathe deep.  I can replace it with noticing my breath.  I can replace it with a more preferred emotion.   I can do this again and again and again until I, the one who feels the emotions, change.

May you allow your own awareness.  May you think the thought you prefer.  May you feel the emotion you enjoy.

I'm not saying to not feel what you truly feel.  I am saying be sure there is a current, in your face, reason to feel same. 

Hey, YOU are worth it.  YOU are in charge of your own thoughts and feelings.  Make YOU happy.  Make YOU happen... from the inside out.

Have fun with it.  No judgment.  No demanding.  Only ease because you are wanting to change.  Only awareness and processing through to the YOU that you fully are and that you want to be.

Happy, Fulfilled YOU.

 

Notta

I feel like I have nothing in me. 

No desire to push, pull, run or hide.  No route to take; no journey to journey on.

My finger is in 'distress' and when I get myself something to eat, try to file, open a bill or even get the dogs a treat, OUCH. 

I am so grateful that I have almost forgotten what this is like.  I am so grateful that I haven't had to live with it for some time.

I am so 'spiraling' as I know not what to do with it, me or how to walk forward.  I suppose this is another way of saying 'stuck'..  Interesting.

I am unwilling, in this moment, to embrace it.  I am unwilling, in this moment, to caress or want it to be my truth. 

I am hurt and angry that I find myself here, yet again.  I know not what to do with this feeling.

This is my truth in this very moment.  I do know it is best to feel it, let it process and eventually let it go.  Man, I don't want to have to. !

Do I know it will change - yes.   Do I know I am okay - yes.  Do I know that there is an answer - not particularly.

As I sit here, I am watching a beautiful newt walk up the doorframe on the outside of the fountain area.  He is about 3.5 inches and seems to 'just be' in his life.  There is a bamboo branch blowing close by him and he is just hanging out watching what is going on.  A dragonfly flies by my picture window.  There is a yellow flower against the gray wall. 

Little Bear, my black pekingese comes over to be lifted up on the chair.

There is so much beauty and love in the world.  May my heart not close to it.

There is so much beauty and love in this world.  May your heart not close to it. 

                                                 upper right hand corner is mr. newt

Continue On

Wherever we are; whatever we are doing; we continue on.   Life continues on.

I find that when I trust the process, trust that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, life continues on easier.

My eyesight is still playing games with me.  It seems that when I looked in the mirror this morning, my right eye is swollen and enlarged.  How weird is it that I feel like my eyeballs are harder than they were.  I found an eye doctor but when I looked up the information that was given to me, they are no longer there.  The one I was seeing currently may have gotten a little freaked when she realized she could not get contact lenses in because of the tightness of my skin.  She gave me a referral, I have to find it.  I put it in my 'safe' place and forget where my safe place is.

I had another massage yesterday.  We mainly focused on my shoulders, scalp, face, and neck.  I was so very relaxed.  I found myself in the place of not awake but not asleep.  I believe that great healing happens here.  I feel blessed and grateful that I can do this and I found someone who relates to me and I to her, very well.

Going to the grocery store and the sunbed is a big outing for me these days and I am hoping to get to this.  I know sunbeds are very controversial.  I know I feel very good in the heat and I fully commit to the down time.  I'm hoping everything in moderation and I'm okay.  I believe there are many that would disagree.  And, I cannot make them feel what I feel or walk their path for them.

Go deep within and know what is best for you.  At least, then, you will have lived your happiest, most fulfilled of lives and, this, is what I find is my goal.  I'm sure it is many of yours as well. 

I wish this for you; if you want it.

So, as I still don't know where my get up and go got up and went, I do believe it will come back.  I do believe I have a whole lotta living to do yet. 

I believe some of our best days of our lives are still ahead of us.  The more open, true and loving we are, the better moments we can create from within ourselves out...  just maybe.

May you be open, true and loving and create awesome moments from your inside out.  This is where our real lives live...  just maybe.

Quotes of Unknown Origin and Elsewhere

"Sometimes when life feels like it is falling apart, it is actually falling into place." 


"What we say to our children today will be their own inner voice tomorrow."  Speak lovingly.


"This is life.  This is living.  Nothing more.  Nothing less."  Mya Breman Therapies


 "This, as it is today, is life.  This is you living your life.  May you embrace it as you bring your true and open self to each situation as to create and live the best you."  Me


"Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.  May you be your own best friend."  Me


"You can't always get what you want."   Rolling Stones


"You know you got it if it makes you feel good."  Janis Joplin


"By fully living in your truth today, you open and create your very best path(s) for tomorrow."  Me


"Love and kindness are, perhaps, the very best presents you can give to yourself and another."  Me


"Be Here Now"  Ram Dass


"Today is a good day, I've never seen it before."   Maya Angelou


"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass.  It's about learning to dance in the rain." 


"Who let the dogs out?"  Baha Men


Perhaps, you'd like to come up with your own quote (or mantra) to say to yourself every time you need or would like to hear support for yourself...  "I believe in you" just may be a great place to start.  "I love you" is another. 

I know I believe in you and I send you love.

T I R E D - What if

I am pushing today.  Not going anywhere, but I feel like I am pushing.  I don't want to push.  It doesn't feel great.  It feels like a war.  I don't like wars.

There is a lovely rain coming down from the grey sky.  The leaves are jumping when the rain drops hit them.  The sound is making me sleepy.  The darkness makes my body feel heavier. 

I have been eating way a lot.  Out of control.  I am turning to food for some kind of comfort.  This is new to me and I don't understand it.  I won't even take a serious look at it other than knowing that this is what I am doing and that it does not feel good. 

It was my husband's birthday and our daughter came home as a wonderful surprise for the weekend.  It really was wonderful to have her with us.  It was quick but very sweet. The surprise was his greatest gift. 

I am alone again.  It is interesting that when my family and/or husband is here and for a few days, I get spoiled and enjoy it.  When they or he leaves to travel and or live their lives, it takes me a while to love my alone time again.  I mostly always find my way but not always on 'my time'. 

I know if I had a life outside of my family that I would not have time to feel this alone time and/or lonely. 

I struggle with where I am in this.  Am I lazy to not go out and find something to do.  Is it the dis-ease within my body (and perhaps, my mind) that won't let me go searching. 

I know I am fearful of professional commitment.  It has been over 20 years since I had a profession other than being a mom and a wife.

I know 'mom' is the hardest job as it doesn't allow for breaks.  AND, I know that I am the one that taught myself and believed this to be true.

Moms are allowed breaks if you allow yourself to break.  I sure hope that you do if you are a mom; and a dad, for that matter. 

You need to be your human self; your human being; your human doing. 

This is where I am stuck. 

Sure I talk to people all day long.  I go out for massages.  I go out - very infrequent - for a lunch with a friend.  I take few classes.  I learn and grow everyday.  I have become a kind of recluse by choice.  It started off with 'finding myself' - my 'internal self'.  I have found me.

Now, what do I do with me.  I know what I feel I am destined to do.  I know what brings me great joy.  I am 'abled' and available to do same. 

Yet, here I sit frozen.

I have an ulcer on my thumb just now.  It is the first one I've had in a long time.  It feels like at least six months since a yucky sore.  This is really good that I have gone this long without one. 

How do I know what is going on with me....   Do I feel this way because of the ulcer.   Do I feel this way in fear of getting an ulcer or experiencing pain.   Do I feel this way for fear of commitment.   Do I feel this way because this has been my life for a long time...  YES to all of the above; most probable.

How does one know when one doesn't know...  Just do it.  Just do it comes to mind. 

May my body listen and I find myself just doing it and knowing what it is as soon as I see, feel, know it.  May it be awesome. 

May your body listen and you find yourself just doing what you kind of/sort of know you are supposed to be doing, especially because you want to do it.  May it be awesome. 

If you find yourself stuck - just maybe stuck is where you are supposed to be.  Just know that it won't last.  For most of us, it does not.  For all of us, time changes everything.  Be caring, open, truthful and reasonable.  Be love.   

Is my life the life of being out in the world supporting others' lives.   Is my life the life that I stay put and be the lighthouse and let people find me.  Is my life the life of dealing with doctors, ailments, lack of and unfulfilled desire...

I say it is probably all of these things.  We cycle.  We recycle.  We create anew.  This is life.  Knowing this, believing this, allowing this gives me some comfort in knowing that, just maybe, my body, mind and soul have me exactly where I am supposed to be;..  for now.

Perhaps, your mind, body and soul have you exactly where you are supposed to be;... for now. 

Embrace and love yourself through.   I embrace and love myself through.   Amen.

We will know and do when we are supposed to know and do...  Just what if this is the true way of life instead of accumulating, gathering, striving.  Just what if it is allowing, embracing and loving...

I think throughout our lifetime, we probably hit most of these above things.  What if where you are right now is one of the greatest 'home runs' you will ever experience and/or live through.  It is still living.  It is still life.  It is still you.  Love is still an option.

May you choose love as often as possible.  Choose your truth and follow it through to a more sun-shiny kind of day. 

Live without the war inside of you.   May you live without war. 

As I finish this, the sun is peaking through...

                                                 Da sky after da storm

Da Storm

What to do.. We can go into the storm; turn away from the storm; pretend the storm isn't happening. We can create our own storm to outdo the current storm; we can ignore it; we can ride it out; we can bring our true loving and open self into it. We can even choose to just watch it. So many choices. So many options. I am sure I have done them all. 
 
Here's the black and white of it... It is not so much the storm that creates what we feel, do and choose. It is who we are at the time of the storm; what we know; what we feel and what we have been through that engages us to choose what we choose. If you choose the best option for you, do you add to the storm or do you try to be the quiet in the storm... What encourages it to go on and, perhaps, even yield it to be more forceful... What slows down the storm so it too, maybe, can yield to peace... The storms can seem to be plentiful at times; especially when we feel attacked, challenged or uncertain. May we send love to the storm. We can know pain pummeling through the storm. May we find shelter if the storm is dangerous. Sometimes, if we wait it out and discuss our experience of it afterwards, there can be great lessons learned and better outlets devised.

It is ok to be angry. It is not ok to hurt another because of our anger. Jump up and down. Punch and kick on the bed. Scream while in a car alone or into a pillow. Exercise. Punch and kick a punching bag. Release the physicality of the storm in an unhurtful way. Swim hard in an easy kind of way. -- Whatever keeps the storm passing through. 
 
Storms can be beautiful when they don't leave damage. Storms can leave damage long after the storm is over. We have very little options of changing a storm by Mother Nature. We have more options of dealing with a storm within ourselves. 
 
Storms happen.
 
May you let the storm be safe if it is yours. If it is another's, may you choose love of self each and every time. It is, perhaps, our best opportunity of creating safety and even quieting the storm.

We only have control of our own choices during a storm. Choose your best and most loving self. If you keep experiencing the same storm again and again;-- only by doing something different; making a new choice, creating a new way will the same storm affect you (and everybody in it) differently. Only then will the reoccurring storm change.

May you let storms offer 'self-growth' by being aware of yourself in the storm; living in your truth and living in the light of love. 
 
Storms can be beautiful and empowering. So, too, can our individual lives; together. 
 
Let's get it on.

 

You, the Tree and Me

There are many branches to all of us. May we, from within, acknowledge, own and grow with love and nurture each and every shoot of who we are.

When you are ready, go out on a limb and share your most unique branches with the world. These just may be one of your best reasons for being.

Perhaps, what one of us has another is in need of connecting to. Branch out as you are and let your loving nature - from the root of who you are - be shelter, shade, beauty, strength, etc. for yourself and for others.

Be like a tree and just be all that you are.

Stand tall; stand firm; adapt to your surroundings and be your unique and natural self. Peaceful and present is the tree.

May you allow peaceful presence and great fun while sharing your uniqueness.

What I Wish For You

May you walk yourself away from your pain and/or things that hurt you and into a new, evolved you.  May you "Grow Yourself  Complete" and be the best you that you have ever had the pleasure to be; to experience; to know.  And, may you, perhaps, allow this so important journey to be fun.


May you let go of what hurts you and be/create what fulfills you.


Life is an interesting dance.  May you one-step or let loose (and everything in between) depending on what the situation allows or warrants.


Possible Mantra:  "What I feel and think is not up to anybody but me."  May you be able to trust yourself.  May you be kind to yourself. 


You are so much more than a label, a feeling, a situation.  Be ALL that you are.  You matter always.  May you get out of your own way and let you live on.  !!  Just live what you feel; what you know; what you want.  Let the judgment; the hindrances go.  Live. 


May you trust that you will always know what you need to know at the exact right time you need to know it. 


May you be aware of and feel what is happening in your life right now.  Focus on your own spiritual healing and lessons in your life.  Stand tall and beautiful in the silence and uniqueness of your own being.  Allow yourself freedom to just be what and who you are.  Allow calm.  Allow ease.  Allow truth.   Allow trust.  Allow love.  Allow you. 


p.s.  Your wings are ready...

                                               Flamingo wings.  Photo by Abbas Khasaroh

Time for Ultimate Peace

It is the end of one season and the beginning of another and it is also a full moon.  What powerful energy to connect to, feel and stream forward with.  Whatever you are feeling, may you allow it; tap into it and grow with it.  Feel your way through from a loving and tender place. 

It may be the most open and freeing time ever to live internally and eternally connected, as human beings. Perhaps, it is the best chance and time ever in the evolution of mankind.  Not to be dramatic but to be hopeful and free to live the loving and full life that truly is inside of ourselves out.

May you be open to the possibility of peace in your heart, peace in your life and peace in our world.  

May you connect to your soul.  May you connect to the sole Source... the piece of you that knows the greatest peace.

May you allow this peaceful piece of you to 'loudly' participate and support you as you process all the other 'screaming' parts that are also wanting your attention.   Breathe and let it be.  You know.  May you believe you know as you give yourself permission to just let life flow. 

                                                   picture unknown

Screammmmmm

How does one scream online, but gently, so it does not negatively affect another?!??!

Ha!

Still having monthly struggles with achieving the medicine that my body needs and is helped by.. or at least this is how it seems for now.

This month, I went in on a Monday to be certain they would have the medicine in stock (as requested for the reminder each month by a technician there) on Friday when my doctor's appointment was for.  I was told yes they do, but come in Sunday and they can fill it then.  I went in Sunday, I was told to come back on Tuesday and to take the script home with me so it wouldn't get lost.   Last month, I was told they want to hold on to the script (same pharmacy) and will call me in two days when it can be filled and is filled. 

Each month, I have an issue.  I don't know what the 'rule of the day' will be.  I struggle with this.  I am uncomfortable with this.  It is not fun.  Hence, the scream inside me wanting to come out.  (FYI - I have allowed this scream its freedom!)

All I can do is walk through this.  The best I can do is share my truth, keep my heart open because it feels better for me and bring the script back when told.

This is probably the sixth pharmacy that I have tried to work with since I arrived 2 years ago with local, new doctors.  My schedule has been interrupted often.  My fear and discomfort has grown immensely and, stress is not one of my friends.  Perhaps, this is the exercise for my heart that I am getting as I am certainly not on a regular 'movement'/exercise routine.  I definitely am calmer now that I was three months ago.  I am grateful for this. 

How can one make sense out of nonsense.   I don't think it can be done. 

Either I stop taking the pills, which I would have to wean off of because my body is so dependent on them or I go along with the 'rule of the day' to get them dispensed to me until something better comes along.

It is a three part routine.  The doctor, the pharmacist and the insurance company.  The doctors tell me to treat it like diabetes pain meds.  It is a dependency that makes my body run easier.  I have been told this before I came to Florida and now, that I have doctors that hear me and/or understand scleroderma; two years after finding doctors that can empathize/understand/see me and my experience of living with my physical body.  I really still don't have a doctor that seems to be able to tell me about what their experience is with scleroderma.  I am lucky that I am so 'experienced/trained' in it I suppose.  I am forever blessed that I had one doctor for 30 years that did it all for me.  I am hugely grateful (now more than ever) for him.  He kept on top of the latest research and he and I together kept me pretty healthy - as scleroderma goes.

Then, once I have the script, I have to find a pharmacist that will fill the script.  Not hold on to it and not tell me why.   Not to hand it back and not to me why.  Not to hand it back to me and when questioned say they are at their limit.  Not to hold on to it and 5 days later tell me they don't like the pain doctor I go to and to go to this one.  Then, only to found that 'that one' only offers shots for back pain.  I could go on more but this is the jest of it. 

Then, when and if the pharmacy gets on board, it is up to the insurance company if they want to pay for the drug and in what amount.  They have paid for one drug for two months and then decided they didn't want to anymore.  They also declared a monthly amount of another drug that they are willing to pay for.  It was different than what the doctor's script declared at the time.

Can you say exhausting...   I surely can.

All I know now is that I am choosing to go forward believing in and trusting in the process of life.  That this is happening for a reason and it is for my greater good.  That everyone struggles and this just happens to be mine now.  That I won't always struggle.  And, that I am strong enough to outlast until I don't.

So, I persevere.  I love on.  I show kindness on.  I share my spastic truth about my energy around this.  I GO ON. 

I do this because this gives me my greatest peace available.  This is the best way I know how to go on.  For today, I go on. 

May you go on in the best way you know how to go on that brings you and allows you into being your best self; for today.  Maybe our goal can be to feel good about who and what we are about..  I don't know.  It only feels true from deep within. 

Where I'm At

I am in achy land today.  Moving slower than a turtle.  I went to the doctor yesterday and discussed the medicine again.  How do I know if it truly is helping me and, in what ways, could it be hurting me.  I just can't find my contentment in taking these medicines. 

I said I would give it six months and it was February when I said this.  He suggested the way to wean off to see what I see.  It is extended release pills.  So cutting them in half is questionable.  I am on the lowest possible dose.  I'm concerned about the input from the pharmacy and the insurance company as this is a change in prescription again and a change in prescription - in this day, age and location - has never been an easy road for me... Yet.

There is a first time.  Perhaps, this will be it...  I can pray, hope and be open to it.  Some of my cells may not want to go this route as they want to protect me and be hesitant/protective...  But, in truth, the protection feels uncomfortable to me.

So, I walk on and through.

There really isn't an easy answer to many things.  The easiest and best answer is to walk through trusting ourselves.

May you walk through trusting yourself.  It is, perhaps, one of the very greatest gifts we can give to our self.

May you accept where you are, find joy somewhere/someway/somewhat/somehow and sit, crawl, walk, run on...  Whatever it takes.  Be true to YOU.

Let every breath be connected to love; as much as possible.  Amen

Thank you

I want to thank YOU for visiting me here; for connecting and, perhaps, being open to living your best self -- to Just Being You!

We have had many visitors here this month.  You help bring me strength and joy to share, write, learn and grow forward.   I feel like we are doing this together; often.  Thank you.

The following countries have shown up here, recently, and I am honored.

United States

Germany

Russia

Canada

Sweden

Australia

Romania

Poland

Netherlands

Ukraine

Denmark

United Arab Emirates

Latvia

Lithuania

India

Portugal

May we all stand individually, together; to get our happy on! 

Perhaps, we don't even have to agree on anything to be respectful of each other and ourselves.  Just be open to care and to matter...

Candy

As I stop by my office desk and sit at the computer, I take a bite of a chocolate covered dried cherry.  Mmm good. 

The sweetness, the flavor, the creamy melting chocolate in my mouth is something to be savored.  The tartness of the cherry permeates through the flavor of the chocolate.  The blend is addictive to me.

My husband gets me these from the bins at Whole Foods.   The first time I had the pleasure of biting into one and experiencing the contrasting flavors and textures was in beautiful Palm Springs, California, United States.

It took us awhile to find them here, but find them we did.  I enjoy them often.  I will have 2-6 daily and then do without them for a while.  It certainly is a treat and a pleasure that I allow and enjoy completely. 

Which brings me to food that we eat and how we choose to eat it...  Hmm.

There are plenty of tasty and wonderful foods to enjoy guilt-free.  There are certainly a plentitude of foods to eat that could inspire guilt and, while pleasurable, are not as wholly enjoyable because the nutrition value is on the low side.

Just what if I chose to eat foods that I know are not the most nutritious but give me comfort and pleasure without allowing/accepting/creating any guilt.  What if, in eating in this manner, my body digests them more easily and responds differently to them; more 'favorably' so to speak.  Ha! 

Can I choose to enjoy what I eat especially if I'm going to choose to eat it anyway.  Can I disengage, dissipate and/or not allow guilt when I choose to eat something that is not on my guilt-free pleasure list...  Can I allow it to be added to this list from time to time... 

If I allow myself a healthy balance to eat between what is totally good for my body and what my tastebuds and my comfort 'compass' finds joy in eating, is this enough; is this an option and/or good answer for me...

I suppose it does depend on the goal.  If my goal is to be a body builder and be as lean and muscular as possible, balance must weigh on the protein and nourishment side.  If I want to lose weight, the balance must point to the less calories side.  If I want to maintain my health, then I want to nourish my body and stay within a certain caloric, protein, fat and carbohydrate range.  I mostly always want to enjoy, from time to time, something that completely and thoroughly is a gift to all my senses.

Just what if you would allow yourself to completely and thoroughly enjoy something to eat that is not the best choice for you within your goal(s).  I'm not talking about freedom to always and daily eat whatever it is that satisfies only the taste buds and soothes our comfort level.  But, if and when you do choose something that is completely unhelpful to your current goal - you are going to eat it anyway - I say enjoy, savor it and allow yourself to totally eat it guilt-free. 

Get back to eating what supports you to feel strong, healthy and energized.  Let the balance meter point to these foods mostly.  However, when you have an urge or an irresistible inkling to eat something just for the joy of it, may you give yourself total permission to get your joy on guilt-free.

May you find the balance that works best for you.  The balance that you know that you can live with for the rest of your life.  The balance that maintains and/or reaches goals that you find yourself wanting to reach from time to time.

Just maybe it doesn't have to be hard.  Even with food, perhaps, we can meet ourselves where we are and love ourselves through.  If you are going to eat something that is detrimental, ask yourself - will you feel better or worse after you eat this.  Most likely you know this answer.   Be truthful.  If your answer is worse, love yourself greatly and choose to not eat it in that moment. 

Just sometimes, we do feel better to eat something and isn't our overall goal in life to feel happy, good, kindness, whole and fulfilled.  Maybe we don't have to be so rigid to achieve/allow/live in contentment.  Maybe it doesn't have to be so hard.  Maybe our belief in it being easy will make it be so; or easier anyway.

What do you say to yourself now - can you promise yourself  to love yourself through, be easy on yourself, know gentleness and through this - create the body, health and stamina that you want to create.  The you that you want to and know you can be, perhaps, can and will come from this ease and kindness.

May you get your body and mind to work together to create enjoyment - working with the truth and correct information regarding food; and working with the truth of yourself to accomplish the life you wish to experience going forward.  May you feel what it feels like for it to be one of joy, flavor, adventure, learning, lessons; knowing fulfillment and feeling good within one's own body. 

"You know you got it if it makes you feel good".   You are the only one that experiences you like you do.  It is your job; your responsibility; your prerogative to feel, create and grow into your most fulfilled and very best version of you.

Everything you need to accomplish this you were born with.  Only you.  There is no other like you.  Be YOU.  Every one else is taken. 

Be true and loving to you.  Be mindful.  Be kind.  Use the kindest words you know to talk to yourself and to know, feel, believe and be the grandest version of you.

Be your own 'candy'.  Empower yourself through the sweetest version of you.

I think this is what takes us the furthest, the quickest and in the most enjoyable way.  Sweet doesn't mean a 'wimp' that you walk all over.  Sweet doesn't mean give in always.  Sweet doesn't mean do not say no.

Sweet means encourage yourself through pleasurable, kind and knowledgable ways. 

May you experience the grandness of you from the sweetest part of yourself. 

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.  May you choose to be your own best friend!

I believe in you. 

May you believe in you.

Today is your day if you want it to be so.  May you be ready to move mountains and enjoy it! 

Looking, Open, Time

I am looking.  I am open to it being time for me to connect to the outside world in a professional way.

I am so excited when I help another connect to their best path.  I do not know what their best path is.  I do know how to listen to hear what people are telling me it is, through their shared words and their unconscious (or unknown/unaware) picture of what they are experiencing and reverberating this information back to them.

I love doing this.  It comes so natural (now).  I am so grateful for this 'gift'; this training; this connection to all that I find myself experiencing and living from within without.

It is one of my greatest joys.  I feel so alive.  I have endless energy around it. 

Did I just write I have endless energy - wowza!  woo hoo!

I truly am ready.  In this moment anyway!

I am looking for someone or something, somehow to show up for me and show me my best path to do this.  I am open for signs.  I am open for possibilities.  I am open for requests.  I am open for reality to hit me where it counts and bring me into the professional life of life coaching and "Just 9Be U". 

I am so ready to bring all that I am, know, breathe and love to the professional world and stop shrugging off my responsibility to enhance, support, create, allow, help mold more fulfilled souls/beings into and creating a more fulfilling world.

I am looking for me to show up somewhere, somehow; to someone and step into my next professional role.  I am ready to commit - one discussion, share, connection, growth at a time.  I am ready to grow myself complete, which includes a life coaching profession, to support others to grow their own selves complete. 

It is in each and every one of us.  All that is needed is a willingness, an openness and courage to look our self in the mirror, so to speak, and allow/feel truth, love, emotions and strong, deep feelings to flow, process, evolve and recreate from what we have taught ourselves to live as since childhood to how we are truly living presently to what brings us most peace and fulfillment to live life in the now and going forward.

I remember being in a gym and saying out loud 'oh, I wish there was an easier way to get in shape and to looking good/being strong.'  A person nearby responded 'at least there is a way'!  Oh how true they were.

So, while we may wish there was an easier way of moving forward, creating wholeness, lessening any pain or struggle, knowing peace... at least there is a way!  And, your way is inside of you.  The greatest thing about al of this, perhaps, is the easier way is already something you know; something you innately know and are connected to.  !

Everything you need for this lifetime of yours, you already have.  You only need to connect to it, feel it and build upon it.  And, you win.

I want to win.   So, I open my mind, my heart, my belief that I will do this.  I shut down the noise in my head that asks me who am I to do this.. it will take way more than I am capable of giving.. to you won't be able to handle all the demands on yourself...

Yes.  Yes. I can.  If it is meant for me...  If it is inside of me to want to do it...  If it is inside of me to dream this dream...  If it is inside of me to learn, grow, connect and create...  Then, yes it is.  It is inside of me to let it out.  It is my innate knowing.  It is my innate responsibility.  It is my innate calling.

I am fully open to answer the call...

I am well prepared.  I am ready.  I need to do this.

May my life rain/reign down on me.  I am open to ME.

May your life rain/reign down on you.  May you be open to YOU.

May it be shown (and lived out) to us with as much ease, fun, joy, awesomeness and wonder as possible.  Amen

May you allow thyself to be mesmerized!! 

 

Shine On

I'd like to start with Shine On You Crazy Diamond....

I made it through the dentist visit with ease!  Yay, Yay me!  The technician seemed to think my mouth got smaller.  And, she was wonderful with me and I'm all good to go.  

I am so grateful.  I am now saying that I have beautiful, strong teeth and gums.  It doesn't hurt to think this way.  And, in the present moment, I do!

It has been a couple of busy days.  Many, and I mean many, people have been challenged, changing, in deep and, from where I sit, doing a really good job at being aware and willing to create their best path in the now.

This is very exciting for me.  This is really cool for me.  This makes me so happy and thrilled.  The day when we all (or most of us) are living in our best and truest 'place', our world will also be in its best and truest place.  I know this is peace amongst all and within each self.

My hubby is getting a convertible.  What fun!  I'm so happy for his thrill in buying himself something that will give him great pleasure.  I certainly will enjoy vroom vrooming around with the roof down and the stars and the sun shining on us.

I went to a 'psychic' yesterday and it reinforced what I know and feel about myself and my future.  That I know better than anyone about me and that I am where I am supposed to be and I am going where I feel (and 'just know') I will go from within my own inner and deep knowing.

May you believe that what you know and feel about yourself and your future is what makes it real and  what makes it so; more than anything.  May you believe and respond from a place of 'knowing'.  That you know more about you and where you are supposed to be and where you are supposed to go than anything or anyone outside of yourself. 

I am still learning (and practicing) to be aware of the reality of what is (100% reality not something I think I know or believe to be true); to be kind to myself during all experiences; and to be open to living [and sharing when appropriate] what I feel and know from a place of love. The only thing I truly have control of is my responses to situations, to other people and to life as it presents itself.   

It is time to be the grandest of self.

Perhaps, to cooperate with our own self or be forced to learn how to... that these two choices just may be the most crucial choices in front of most of us just now.  If we don't cooperate and love our self through, we will be shown and/or taught things that will demand that we are. 

May you allow easy and may you believe that it doesn't have to be hard.

Shine on you beautiful diamond.  Shine on.

Dentist/Do It/On

Oh my!  It is this time again for me. 

I have a cleaning appointment scheduled for tomorrow.   My mouth and I must go.  I'm way off the regular suggested schedule.

Knowing that it is coming up, I find myself sluggish, achy and scared.   I don't even like to put my own fingers in my mouth as they get stuck and it doesn't work well.  Why would I want another to do so...   Yikes.

I want them to because I like having my teeth.  I like being able to chew.  I like not being in pain because of a toothache or a sore mouth -- so I go to the dentist.  I have to say it feels wonderful afterwards to have clean, sparkly teeth and gums.  My cheeks and jaw aren't the happiest, but my teeth and gums are grateful.

Give and take.   Take and give.   This is what life is all about.  When I can get a pretty good balance between the two, it is a happy day!

I could sit here and call myself a loser - I may have; .. once.   I could sit here and know that I have real reason to be and feel uncomfortable about this 'visit'.  I certainly do this.  I could have a strong, underlying discomfort in knowing about this visit.  And, this, I most certainly do.

When I was younger; much younger, I would just be concerned about this moment, this day - I would tell myself worry about tomorrow tomorrow.   It doesn't come as easy to me as it used to.   Most likely because I am not having as much fun today as I used to then.

Perhaps, this is one of the greatest changes that I am in control of.  I can have and do fun things today.  I only need give myself permission to do same.  This, herein, lies the problem.  I stopped giving myself permission to do things that make me happy always.  I almost have to fight with myself to allow myself to do something just for the simple reason that it makes me happy; that it is fun for me.

I am ready to change this up.  I am going to a 'fortune teller' on Wednesday just because they are here and available and I get a kick out of it. 

After my dentist doom is over, I am going to schedule a 'Pilates' appointment just for the fun of it. 

I know that exercise is my best and quickest path to me.  I know this.  I have continued walking every night.  I am putting miles and steps on my 'Fitbit'.  I have not made it to the gym yet.  I hope I make it there before summer is over!  I will. 

So, as I do my very best to accept where I'm at and love myself where I'm at and accept and fall into fun from where I'm at, I know that all is as it is supposed to be and my survival rate of the dentist chair is 100% thus far; although there were some hit and misses!   Ha.  lol   Truth.

My small mouth, that is touched by and with scleroderma, is not thrilled about having to try to get an x-ray in there.  And, yet, we somehow get through it and the poor dentist gets just as challenged as I at times.

I'm grateful they will work with me.

May you 'walk in' to places even though it may not be the most fun place you find yourself.  However, may you 'walk in' if you get something positive and loving towards yourself out of it.  May you trust yourself to be in control of your truth.  Allow, stay in and share your truth as you survive and accomplish the goal at hand - or in this case, in the mouth...

Treat yourself with kindness and may kindness be what you know most to get through the 'hard' parts of your life.   Perhaps, with kindness comes ease. 

                                                   Unknown

Walk your walk.    Talk your talk.   Live your life.  Permission On! 

Just because...

Just because...

Just because I think this looks cool I'd like to share it with you!!  And, I believe that it is always a good thing to be reminded to live our truest and best of ourselves.

May you let the you that you are and want to be flow and grow.


It is also my belief that a black and white picture encourages and allows easy flow and a fulfilling process of life through its placement and its presence.

Ha!  Hope you enjoy it too. !!

The Power of "3"

I have been seeing 3:33 on the clock quite often lately.  I have been seeing the number 3.  It seems when I am dreaming and/or thinking about 'what I want to be when I grow up' - the threes appear.

I researched what the spiritual meaning of 3 and 333 could be.  This is what I found.

3 has meaning to the body, mind and spirit connection; the 'trinity'.  It tells us that 'Ascended Masters' are with us and divine help is here.  Your life purpose and soul's outward work are within reach. 

Follow your purpose and you cannot go wrong.  Follow your purpose by listening and allowing yourself to be led by what you love; what you are feeling and what you know from deep within. 

Being your true self [no masks allowed] is what carries you the furthest and with the most grace.  The universe wants to help you, show you signs, stand by you, push you along and is with you. 

No dream is impossible.

May you believe in your dreams, your inspirations; your inner 'noises' that guide you to all that you are and can be.

You don't need the power of "3" to get you there or to make it happen.  You need only to open up enough to allow it.  It (they) can be yours.  Perhaps, they already are.   Just reach. 

Mercedes Diamond

I am giving myself a new pen name today.  From "Mercedes Flair", which started off as a belly dancing name that turned into a pen name for me; I am now knowing/calling/referring to myself as "Mercedes Diamond".  !

"We" have been together and through a lot.  Since I started this blog in 2010.  We have experienced, delved deep, and shared much.

Today, while waiting for my next "Neuro Spatial Alignment" massage, I just knew that today would be the day to change my name.

It was a two hour massage and I asked to start at my calves.  They were tight, screaming and wanted attention.  As she was working on this area, my neck, head and throat became tingly.  It felt like I had a cone on my head with the tip sitting above my sternum and beautiful, bright and happy 'diamonds' came up and out and dispersed through the large end of the cone into the atmosphere.  I knew that, while the massage personnel and creator of this Neuro Spatial Alignment (Clemme Montgomery Consalve) was working on my legs, she was also working on the opening of all that I am.

She went from there to my sternum and stayed here for the next 1.5 hours.  I felt my heart and chest open up and white light coming out and going in.  I felt my second grade self - the self that shut me down as not to bother the adults in my life - lay there and accept and share all that was going on.  We fully became one again.  She was no longer afraid.  I was no longer separated from her.

Yep, this can be considered 'woo woo' to many.  And, like I've always said, when I lie on the massage table and let myself go wherever I am led - I feel the most real that I ever feel.  This was no exception.

So, I go on from here.   I don't know what this means.  I do know that it was deeply relaxing, releasing and it felt like I let go of the negative nerves that often hounded me.  I believe we worked with my chakra system, my being and my innate self.

Clemme kept saying that she works with/at the origin of each client. 

We shall see what we shall see.  I shall live what shows itself to me.  I believe in, trust in, and love myself in a way that I have me.  I so have me...   in this minute anyway, ha!

May you see what you shall see.  May you live what shows itself to you.  May you believe in, trust in and love yourself in a way that you know you have you.  Amen.