Ouch

I am being bombarded with what feels like bad news today.  My mind feels blown and my initial reaction is to run - run far.

But, run I will not.  I will stay knowing that in the big picture of things, these are minor, little bumps.  While these situations I find myself addressing feel heavy, scary, tiring and challenging, I will offer my loving truth and open mind and calm (what's left of it) opinions/suggestions.

My body and mind are not having fun.  My inner being is challenged but some weird part of me feels excited for the challenge.  I tell myself I am nuts.  I ask myself how can I get through this.  I feel the war still between what was and what now is.

I hurt.  My body hurts.  I sit in the silence that is created because of not knowing the next step.  I sit in silence wanting answers.  I sit in silence of not having answers.

It doesn't feel okay.  And, the truth of the matter is that I am okay.  I'd rather be out on a boat on top of clear blue water and snorkeling in this clear (full of beautiful and colorful fish) water, but, for now...  I will be where I find myself and let the silence; the information; and the process proceed.

I hear myself say that this cannot be made up.  I hear myself wondering what I did to deserve this.  I hear myself saying oh sh*t. 

And, I feel myself growing, learning, trusting and being.   I hear myself speaking truthfully, openly - even as my body and voice shake. 

I will get through this because this is what I want to teach.  Dang, I thought I learned enough as of now.  Apparently, I was wrong.  And, onward I learn.

I pray it stops soon because I really want fun and joy to come with this truth and 'light' that I have tapped into within myself.

What a process.  I do trust the process of life and I embrace as best I can the challenges that have arisen today. 

What a hoot and, man, I'd truly wish there was an easier way than to feel everything there is to feel.  And, I'm reminded of a person in the gym many moons ago that said to me 'at least there is a way' after I said, Man, I wish there was an easier way to get a strong, lean body. 

Well, at least there is a way to connect and share our honest truth of who, what, where and how we are.

May you go your way; lovingly, openly, honestly.

Going

I'm coming 'here' even as I'm deep in turmoil.  I'm feeling overwhelmed, alone, no one truly cares, hurt and beside myself because I surely do not want to handle; to feel; or to proceed further through what is present for me.

There are challenges, demands, fear, uncertainty, change, discomfort and a feeling of 'no way, do I need or want to have to deal with most of this just now'.

It is one thing that I've been trying to avoid and it shows itself now, while I'm moving, while I'm struggling, while I'm unclear and have little stamina left.

And, while this is on the outside and/or through my feelings - perhaps, habitual feelings - inside I'm excited; up for the challenge; grateful to the Universe; and trusting that this is right where I need to be to excel through my old habits and reclaim my whole self as a better and improved version.  A version where I will be kinder to myself, work with my truth now; work with what works now for me; and be and live a better balanced adult life.

Something inside of me is softly kicking and screaming.  My healthy cells are doing a happy dance.

And, the war between these two 'selves' is all-encompassing if I let it be.   I know and will do better than to let it be so.  

I'll ride it out.  I'll love it through.  I'll be open to it as it is.  I will be in this moment and watch myself do what I do in the next.

My mind can tell me I'm crazier than ever.  My being knows that this is my truth and I'm teaching my mind to follow my truth.  No more noise, as best I can.  No more 'what ifs', as best I can.  No more, 'well what if they know better for me than me', as best I can.

I OWN me.  and Own me, I shall.

I do not know where 'me' is going for certain.  And, I know I am going for greater, bigger, truer, deeper, breathable moments from peace within - as much as I can.

May you give yourself as much as you can and allow 'all of this' to excel you to your best self, now... today.

Deep

In Deep.

Our world is in deep or it feels so to me at least.  War, struggles, hardship, beauty, love and awareness.  We are connected like we have never been before.  I can be emailing with Africa, texting with New Jersey, on Facebook with Dubai and ordering online for dresses with moving models.   We certainly are connected like never before.

With this grandness, we also see, hear, know, participate in and am bombarded with others' thoughts, ways, ideas, and beliefs.

Ease is simply not present.  Ease is everywhere. 

How this is possible and made to make sense, I do not know.   How this settles inside of myself - it hasn't. 

We bear the weight of much.  We do not carry the weight of everything. 

Our weather and Mother Nature is different.  Our abilities and knowledge are greater.  Our compassion and empathy is being tested.  Our truth has no where to hide.

LOL.   I do not know what any of this means.   I do not know what to do with much of it as a whole.  I do know that I walk on and through with as open of a mind and as willing of a heart as I can muster walking through the largest tunnel mankind has ever known while breathing and living in this human form. 

May you breathe, walk, love and believe with me.  May you know you have you and that wherever you find yourself, you will know in each moment how to live you.   The thought of same is so different than our ability to act when necessary to act; to set forth an action.

May you journey on as you are aware that this is living; this is your life.  Right now in this moment, you are experiencing life.  Experience it through your truth and your best.  My wish.

Another Day

So, we awaken to another day.  I look forward to seeing what the day holds for me.  I am open to all that is and I am asking for gentleness, love and a strong inner knowing to walk through with.

It's a beautiful sunny day, a bit muggy, a small breeze and blue skies with thick white clouds.  It is quiet.  The water in the small lake is dancing and the sunshine on it is sparkling.  My bird is chirping as she just went out on the patio and my cat lays on the chair next to the bird in it's cage.  Sunshine is the name of my bird.  Cali is the name of my cat.

I awoke this morning to my two little dogs and my cat lying next to me cuddling.  I realized what a blessing they were for me as my husband travels and my daughter is away riding.  These animals are my constant companions. 

In this awareness this morning, I realized that I'd like a better balance of these beautiful creatures and beautiful humans in my life.  I connected to a tad bit of loneliness.  However, I felt peace with it and embrace my alone time just now. 

I know once I get into this house (August 4!), there will not be quiet for awhile as cleaning, unpacking, learning about the house and its needs and sharing my happiness with my friends will be all encompassing and I look forward to most of it.  I look forward to waking up in a bedroom that I can stretch and look out at the pool.   I look forward to my dogs getting more exercise as here in the apartment they can lay and watch my every move.  In the house, they will have to follow me if they want to know where I am.  We have a small back yard where we can hang out and play.  For this, I have immense gratitude.

Interesting the things that come to mind when we don't judge, just allow and embrace them even.  It can help to reestablish, reaffirm.  Knowing awareness through love can definitely help us create the life that feels good to be in as we delete/change the thoughts that hurt us and reinforce the thoughts that help us to fly such as wind beneath our wings.

May you allow your wings to expand and allow this 'wind' of positive/happy thoughts rise the best you up and fly on through gentle strength of who you were made to be.  The creation of you is perfect.  Go on with your perfectly imperfect self and use your ability to fly in your grandness.

 

Feel it

Yesterday and today I have had feelings of being overwhelmed, alone, unable and 'uh-oh'.  I felt depressed, I cried, I struggled and was mad at myself for not being able to talk myself out of these feelings.

Then, I gave myself permission, with support of friends, to feel exactly what I was feeling.  In fact, when I was done crying I felt better; cleansed; lighter.  What a great feeling actually.

If I did not allow myself to feel what arose in me, I would've buried the outcome of same.

What a gift it is to feel whatever arises from within through self-love; open mind; and open heart. 

Allow them.  Feelings arise for real reason.  Perhaps, we do not have to wonder why, know why or even ask why.  Just maybe we can give our self permission to feel life.   Feel it all.

I realized when people take drugs, drink, shop, and/or eat too much, etc., it is usually to not feel what we are feeling; to run away; avoid; disregard.  This probably does work for the moment.  Yet, to not feel what doesn't feel good also disables us to feel what does feel good.  What we bury and choose not to feel comes out as dis-ease, heaviness, depression and many different and more damaging forms.  If we would just allow ourselves to feel what comes up for us at the time it comes up and lovingly process through it, just maybe it would be over and done with and not keep coming up again and again and again in different ways and at different times.

May you know gentleness as you support yourself (and others) to feel whatever it is that our beings want to feel through human emotions of all diversities.  They are called emotions.  May you emote on.

My Human Complexities

Ouch.....

Maybe we all have them.   Maybe we do not.   I know I have them.  I am in the middle of a complex situation as I move into one home that is quite different than I am used to.

How blessed I was to have known such ease, beauty and love inside of a home we built from our hearts and our desires. Many people enjoyed this home with us.  It was our 'Shambala".  A place of peace and harmony for all living creatures.  We had many parties; we had many visitors; we had some live-ins and we had healing, love, joy, and growth.  We had koi fish swimming out back.  We had ocean fish swimming inside.  We had gold fish swimming downstairs along with a bird aviary consisting of six birds.  We had 6 cats and we had four dogs.  We had rabbits outback and hermit crabs inside.   We tried hamsters and ended up having 18 at one time of which we quickly gave to the local pet store.  We had one small white mouse and little turtles.  It surely was a haven for life.  (They weren't all with us at one time!)  We even had guinea hens until they decided to go for a stroll and find a different place.  I often saw them walking across the street in the wooded area of the community.  I was surrounded by beautiful things and everything that was there we chose to put there as we built this home from land.  It was my beautiful Shambala. 

I no longer have this home and am moving from the apartment into a new home.  I heard myself saying if my last home was 'da bomb', I would call this home 'da crash'.  Yikes!  Now, it isn't really a 'crash' home; however, it is quite different than my Shambala.  Mostly everything I look at, I do not love.  I'm challenged by it even.  I am not surrounded by what I consider beauty.  There are knocked out walls that, to me, look like concrete.  There are stairs, which in Florida, is not my favorite as I like a one floor plan; maybe because of possible hurricanes; maybe because I just prefer one floor here.  The ceilings are slanted and I feel the flow of energy stop and start; start and stop because many of these rooms are not clear cut four flat, smooth walls. They are odd shaped and laid out funky.   It is different.   I'm sure many would say it is beautiful.  I do find it comfortable and comforting.   It will be less to take care of.  It has a back yard.  IT'S IN FLORIDA IN THE COMMUNITY I LOVE.   I always knew I would end up in Florida.  Not as I envisioned; however, I am here!  Perhaps, because I did not acquire 'my house' that I 'chased' for several months and was certain it was mine by all the signs I was seeing and the layout, decorations, and colors in the house that felt perfect to me.  Perhaps, this why I let myself feel like I am settling now.  However, I still know blessings.  I still know gratitude.  'My house' is still on the market on the online website showing that the reserve has been met; under contract, but put in your bid now...  Oh my, oh my, oh my.  lol  Cannot make this stuff up and I know it wasn't supposed to be or it would've been.

I've heard it said...  'We plan; God laughs'....  Well, I believe in God and I believe that He has my back and the big picture of my life is just fine and even beautiful.  I will accept the challenge and create the best life I know how to.  I ask for help, guidance, ease, and love. 

So, as I gather all my 'stuff' from up north; here at the apartment and in storage units, I have no idea how I will pull this all together and, yet, pull this altogether I will.

So the next two to three weeks, this is what I will be doing.   I won't be focusing on 'Just 9Be U' but I will be 'growing myself complete'.   I won't be thriving in business mode.  I will be doing what I've been doing for years while raising my beautiful and precious daughter.  I will be in house mode and creating a comfortable place to call home.  I will then see if my feelings are the same as what I have learned this past year -- that home is inside of myself - or if home, once again, can be a structure that we live out from and settle into. 

So, as I gather all that is me and stay open minded and open hearted,

I wish you the same.

Gather all of yourself, all of your human complexities -- your inner child, your adult self, all the challenges, all the victories and walk on with an open mind, open heart and love through every situation you find yourself in.  Let the doors of your heart swing inward and out through and to all that is you and all that you encounter. 

Namaste' Dear One.  We all (mostly) do want the same thing;  to be safe, to matter and to know love.

May you share, gently, your truth; your authentic and innate self.  Perhaps, this is the most loving thing you can do for yourself, your loved ones and our world.  It is my hope and I surely feel the need for this to be so.

Wow

I'm a bit overwrought and taken aback.  My 'Facebook' newsfeed is showing signs of pain, anger, frustration, hurt, fear and what I feel can be labeled as cruel.

I'm so heavy with all of this truth (as I see it).  Yes, truth will and does set us free.  It also isn't the easiest thing to face and move through at times.

I have faith.  I have hope.  I have trust that we, as a human race, are more kind; more helpful than not.

I believe ease, peace, love, togetherness will 'win'.  Pain will lessen as we love ourselves first.  Perhaps, when we fully love ourselves all we can offer is love.

The 'pained' ones are the most hurtful ones.  A loving one does not find it so easy to be unloving.  I think...

So, as I sit; create, move and evolve through this 'loud' time in our lives, I believe.  I am grateful that I mostly find it easy to believe.

I believe in myself.  I believe in you.  I believe there is love that comes with us when we enter this world in the physical form.  I believe situations, people, thoughts and beliefs can take us away from love; yet, I believe love is still waiting deep inside even when it feels that it is not so easily accessible.

The most hurtful people have a group of people that love them.  The most hurtful people love and need somebody(ies) usually.

May we all connect to our innate love and breathe in and out from this divine place within and without.  May you love yourself and know that we live through pain, with pain, and can get beyond our pain when we connect to our 'cells' that have love in them.  Grow your cells that know; connect you to; and that are love.

                                                        Unknown

Lionel Richie

Lionel Richie.  Ceelo Green.   Outside.   In a Thunderstorm....

This is where I just may be in three hours!  Hoot.  I will walk through it and see where I end up.

I heard that there were 1,000 lightning strikes in 10 minutes in one area of these storms.  That is quite a lot of lightning strikes - or so it sounds.

-----

Well, I made it to the concert and the house was brought down!!!!  lol

Lionel was so energetic; so on his game and his music filled and blessed me as only his music can.  He has been one of my all time favorite musicians for many, many, many moons. 

It didn't rain and I had the most fun evening.   It was so hot outside; I was drenched from dancing and I loved every minute!  Truly. 

Thank you Lionel Richie, again and again and again.   Ceelo Green was a fun time too!

May you be grateful for what fulfills you and believe that wherever you find yourself, you will always know the best answer for you.  May you give yourself permission to fill yourself up with what makes you say 'Hello' to your most authentic self.

Let the fire within create your life as it feels best with you.  May it come as Easy as a Sunday Morning.   Hoot.  I crack myself up!  lol

All Night Long

It feels like all night long and not really in a good way!

I am starting a business; moving; selling a house; changing states once and for all; and gathering all of what I know and have, and putting it altogether into one place that I will call home.  My continued goal is to live as me; and to share a fulfilling life with as many people as possible that intersect with my own journey.

It is no easy feat for me.  My health is holding up well and I get nervous at times that this will change.  I'm hopeful that it will not.  My experience has been that it does change towards pain.  I'm living my truth and embracing  what is and being as vulnerable with my truth as I know how.

Huge.  Huge 'stuff'. 

What worked yesterday no longer works today.  What didn't work yesterday is working today.  There is the unknown and the excitement and uncertainty of that.  There is global awareness and the excitement and uncertainty of this.

I cannot or will not focus on one thing as it seems to be taking many paths to proceed forward just now.

All I keep hearing myself say is 'live in your truth'; 'it's all okay in the big picture of things'; 'I'm open to ease and love and inner knowing'; 'I believe in myself and our world'.  'I walk on.' 

May you hear what you are saying to yourself and choose supportive words as best you can.  Support one's self and each other on. 

And, I started with 'All Night Long' as I am happy to be going to see Lionel Richie tonight with Ceelo Green and going to 'rock' with the 'house'!  lol

No Schedule

While transferring my family's life from the apartment to a new house, I find myself going with what is needed to get it done.  'Things' surely show themselves and there are plenty of 'things' around.

This creates excitement.  This creates some chaos.  This creates a challenge to eat, sleep and rest as to show myself love, support and calm.

When the goal is to .... (STOP) 

My mind just cannot easily focus.  I'm feeling I am unable to 'put out' any information as I'm full of carpet colors, paint colors, chandeliers and things working smoothly for me again as we create our home in a new house.

It wasn't exactly how I saw myself doing things and yet, this is what needs to be done.  My heart wants to focus on a business and healing of myself and others and being in a world full of people.   It was not my intent to put all of me back into another home and put my love of connecting to others aside, yet again, to create a home where chilling will be an awesome experience for all that enter.

It was my intent to get my business up and running and move into a home where the inside and decorating was done.  Work for me would be minimal and transferring from apartment to house was as simple as possible.  Yet, this is not what I created.   So, I go with what is as I'm open to learning/growing/being in each moment as I follow my inner knowing as best as I know how.

I am not 'perfect' at this; still.  I know I am better than I've been for most of my life.  I do know what I feel inside and what I want inside of myself. I've always known this, but I know it more now.   I still am challenged (apparently) to get what is on the inside of me to match what is on the outside of myself.  This has been a goal of mine since I was a very young adult and, apparently, it is not something I am not willing or able to give up. 

Today, I give myself permission to always check in with myself and stand strong and only waver when I am not letting all of me go.

May you give yourself permission to always check in with yourself and stand strong in each situation that arises for you.  May you only waver when you know it is the best option available to you in the moment and you do not give all of yourself up.

Sometimes, we just have to STOP and face our truth and go in the direction of our truth.  This is the greatest strength we humans may possess.  Go with truth, ease and love. 

Calling all Contractors

As we continue to create a home in the house we purchased, there are many contractors and experts that we need their help to 'get things done'. 

Ideas, prices, scheduling and contracts are necessary to move forward.

It is fun and exciting watching what is a picture in my head being created into reality. 

I do not feel settled.  I do feel close to it.  I do not feel like I know everything and the order to it.   I do know it will all get done and it is all okay even as I don't know much.

Life is exciting.  The unknown is exciting when I trust myself to be okay with whatever comes my way.

I feel invigorated.   I feel blessed. 

May you call on whatever it is you need to create the picture in your own head to become a reality.

Truthfulness

Let our truth light up our life.  Let our truth lead us to ourselves and each other.  Let truth of what is be okay as we process through it instead of around it, burying it, ignoring it or numbing from it.

Let our 'hardest' truth win out; if only for moments at a time.

Sometimes looking at our own truth with real awareness, different 'eyes' and open mind and heart - we find ourselves shocked that our thoughts, actions, words, and just being human may have created much of what we are experiencing. 

Breathe into ourselves and as we breathe out, know that with awareness, change is possible.   With love, forgiveness is possible.  With truth and love, our truest of true selves are possible.

May you allow your truest of true self out to play; and free to be, live, share and evolve into everything that is YOU.

Who are You (who who, who who)

I saw this question this morning.  Who am I?  How do I know who I am? 

I'd like to 'tackle' this question, if I may.

You are your breath.  You are your feelings.  You are your responses.  You are your challenges.  You are your victories.  This is your 'human self'. 

Your heart feels things.  Your 'gut' or 'inner knowing' knows things.  Your body moves in a certain way.  Your breath is only yours; however it is shared with the universe.

The universe comes through you as much as you are open to it and even if you are not.

What you love, what you dislike, what allows you to thrive, what gives you a feeling of frustration; your path is inside of you.  There is only one 'blueprint' that is you. 

Listening, hearing, sitting in silence, doing 'nothing'.... this is you.

You are everything that is and everything that ever was and everything that ever will be.  You are this awesome.  This is your 'soul' self.

If you chose to do nothing ever again - things will come to you and show themselves to you.  You will have 'things' to act on, respond to and be. 

If you chose to do everything that you possibly can, other things will come to you and show themselves to you.  You will be very active, you will be responding and being.

If you chose to balance between doing everything you can and nothing, you will still be you.

Your human life on this earth is 'just because' you have breath.  Your presence is needed or you wouldn't be here, now, at this very awesome and challenging time.

This is a once in a universal time as we grow into everything that we are together.

Many of us want this; more than not.  We are ready to be our truest of selves as a whole and support each other in doing so.  There is human life that feels hurting and lost.  There is human life that is found and sharing.  There is human life that wavers between the hurt and the loving.  Yet, we all have the ability to share love.  It is our experiences here that we portray who we are through.  Underneath our experiences, we all just want to be loved, matter and feel like we are enough just as who we are.  And, we are.  Truly. 

As I allow myself to follow my inner knowing, my truth from within, my love that is me and our love that is everything, my breath brings me from this moment to the next.  My body participates in this life with and without my own participation.  My heart can be shut or can be open and everything in between.  My mind can believe everything that is my experience or it can be open to experience so much more.

This is me.  This is you.

May you "Just Be U" as best you can in this moment as this is the only true moment we really and truly have.

Lead, Follow, and Live On as You.

                                                            Unknown

Word Play

Someone speaks...

'Actually, I don't hate or dislike anyone at all because I want my heart to be free.

I do think that people are always going to hurt me because I am weak and I can't fight back.'


What I hear...

I want my heart to be free.  I choose not to fight or push back because this keeps my heart free.  I will learn to not be or hold on to hurt as I learn that the things people say and do is about them.  What I say or do is about me.  And I roll with a free heart.  It is who I am. 

May you hear what you are telling yourself and create new sentences that feel best within you. 

Here I Go

I'm between homes just now and am finding myself going back and forth from apartment to house and house to apartment.

My mind is getting what it wants and my ability to share has dissipated greatly.  Where I am going is a pretty fabulous neighborhood to me.  One I've lived in before; in fact, two homes I have had the pleasure of decorating and living in here.

This time, the home I am preparing will be my only home and a place where I choose to grow roots.  I'm still not at the beach (like I was in my 20s), and I'm close again (6 miles).

I'm on a fabulous golf course (my husband golfs) and surrounded by beautiful fountains and nature.  I truly feel 'home' here.  There is a sense of peace and relaxation that comes over me and I feel my body sink deeper in the seat as I drive into the community.  I feel blessed.  I feel peaceful.  I know gratitude; very great gratitude.

It has been a 'road' to get here.  And, here I am!

I'm outside of my body as I create this next chapter.  I'm outside of my body as my mind tells me there are people starving and 'messed up' and I am truly knowing fulfillment.  I am allowed.  It is me.  It is mine to own.  I worked to get here.  I know this.  And, there is a small piece of me that feels unworthy or 'hurt' because not everyone lives like this.  I also know not everyone wants to.  I believe many may. 

When the world was smaller, most of us stayed in our own 'corners' of the world and we knew what we knew about and around the life that we lived.  We 'found' people of similar circumstances, beliefs, 'knowing'. 

Our world is connected now (and this could also be labeled 'smaller') and we see way more than bits and pieces of other cultures, beliefs, hardships and beauty. 

It just feels different this time to me.   I will move in.  I will know grandness.   I will share grandness and I will stay open minded and open hearted.  Along, with the openness, I allow in all kinds of possibilities and connections.  There is much to be said for this and there is much to connect me to turmoil of others' lives.

I believe that life goes best and is made for us each to grow, learn and own exactly what is inside of us to create.  I know that what is inside of ourselves to create has it's very own uniqueness, but also, it's ability to know and have many similarities also.

At the depth of us, we want to give and know love; and to matter.

I do believe that wherever we are; whatever we are doing -  we have the ability within to give and know love and to matter.   All of us are important.  All of us are a gift here for society to continue it's growth towards ease, truth, trust and togetherness.   We are all doing it in the best way we know how with who we are, what we know, where we've been and where we are going.

Do the best you.  It is enough.  Perhaps, right now in this minute, we are all where we are supposed to be or we wouldn't be here.  And, as we connect to self-love, we have the greatest of all love to share and propel us to our greatest abled life.

May you be, do, breathe, and live the best YOU available to yourself in this present moment. 

                                                      Unknown

Moving Through 2

I have no words as I come here and sit at my computer.  I feel stifled with nothing to share.  I feel myself battling with fatigue as I don't want my body to be weary, yet, my body is weary.  I did not eat well this week.  I did not sleep enough this week.   I did not have any pattern of balance and work/rest and my body knows this.  My body is talking to me and saying 'hey, don't ignore me now'. 

I feel heavy within myself.  I accept this as best as I can in this moment.  I let the battle go. 

And, last night we went for reflexology and it was relaxing and wonderful and as we were driving home, I realized that I felt light and almost buoyant.  (why is this easier to accept...) 

I'm hearing and seeing myself writing 'we' for the first time pretty much since I started this blog in 2009.  I know when I started, my husband said yes, go for it - just leave me out of it.  So, I did.  I still will honor his request.  And, I'm realizing that this new venture in moving to a new home is not an 'I' thing.  It is a 'we' thing.  And, I like it.

So, as I continue to move through the moments and 'just be' in and just create as, I feel blessed that I have this opportunity.   Although my body is weary, and I continue to learn, I also know great peace and blessings of living.

I still say it feels easier to live through the soul and not the human 'thing'.  And, yet, the human experience is such a ride, such low lows and high highs and forever gray between the black and white of all that is. 

It is our human mind that labels what is good; what is bad.  Just what if we are incorrect in these labels...  What if the whole ride is just fine...   WOW.  Life would feel easier, less hurtful if I could get my human brain to believe that the pain I've experienced and the heartache we all know is just fine (as we band together to help the suffering).

It's interesting - that when I am not in pain - I can look at my past pain as fine.  I can thank it even for bringing me to here, where I am.  And, I wouldn't want to welcome it back!  So, perhaps, there is no label.  Perhaps, it is best for me to just process on; move through with an open heart and mind.

Yes, this is my plan.  Move forward with my heart open and my mind non-judgemental.  This feels best on me.

May you move forward with what truly feels best 'on' you that gives you true peace within.

                                                               "tigersquest"

No Clue

There is no clue (for me) as to where I am this morning.  It is a quiet Sunday morning and so humid outside that as I go out to walk with the dogs, my glasses fog up to where I cannot see at all.  It feels heavy and buggy.  It feels wet and eerie.  It is peaceful, but for me, not calm. 

No one was outside yet and many are maybe recuperating from the Fourth of July festivities as many will go back to work tomorrow.

My husband does.  We did get a lot done this week.   We have much more to do before we move in.  We have certainly found a big project.  As new and different thoughts come up for us as we walk around the house, excitement builds as I'm starting to see what can be done and how we can truly make this place our home.  This is jump up and down happiness for me.  lol

A place to work out from; to live in; and to celebrate life through.  How blessed we are to have a home.  Many take it for granted.  Yet, there are many that do not have a place to call home.  Again, what comes up for me is that 'home' is right inside of ourselves.   As we connect to the depth of everything that we 'breathe', we are 'home'.

May you find yourself 'home'.

                                                   Unknown

Moving Through

Today, right now, right here - we are all living.  THIS is life.  Nothing more, nothing less.

I am not looking for what is or what will be, I am looking for what is now.  I am walking through the now.  I am breathing in this moment.   I am experiencing what life is offering me to experience now; as is.

I take the truth of my response to each moment and if it 'rocks', I will keep it.  If it 'sux', I will change and/or evolve it through me.  I accept, nurture, evolve, create, move through each moment as me.  All moments are temporary.  May we participate in them. 

Perhaps, this is enough.  This is the reason for life. 

May you have you and take you with you through change, through wonder, through love and through the, seemingly, difficult. 

Just what if wherever we are, it's okay.   How would that feel on you....

May you allow yourself to feel, live, breathe, thrive, and hurt through all that life offers you.   Perhaps, we really are okay through it all.

Life is like a tapestry.  On this earth, we see the back side - the knots, the ties and the seemingly meaningless pieces.  When we die, we see the full, beautiful and brilliant picture that is/was our lives...

Creating a tapestry on! 

May you openly and mindfully participate in each shred, piece, disaster, and beautiful moment that is your life now, today.

'Housing' It

I have been going and going daily from morning until night taking apart the house we purchased to build it up as the house I'd like to live out from.

It is quite a lot of work.  I'm not used to doing much of it myself and I'm certainly not used to buying a home that very little is as I like it.  How interesting, challenging and somewhat invigorating.

I'm not good at envisioning what things can look like as others can who look past what doesn't please their eyes/heart to what will.

I'm too tired to write.  Yikes and so true.

I care about you greatly.  Consider me on vacation, I suppose, please.

However, it's a work vacation that physically has me creating anew as I think I have already created anew from inside out.  I believe I have connected to the depth of who I am and I won't be able, nor do I want to, not be the real me in as many situations/circumstances as I know how.

It's quite the hoot being out in the world as every cell of my being is working together as one to honor our Creator and be who I was 'built/made' to be.

May you be who you are built/made to be.

                                                    Unknown

Boomer

I wrote this to a special friend this morning.    I want to send it out to everyone that it reaches. 

"The times; they are achanging." Bob Dylan

And, many of us feel out of sorts as we drift, fight, release and add to our own lives.

My hope is that you achieve what you need/want.


"Take a deep breath.  Breathe in. Breathe out.  Is the air warmer coming out and perhaps cooler entering and filling your body way down into your stomach...

Where are your feet..  Is there tension in your body...  What does this tension need...

 

Send a light; whatever color.  Send a light to wash over you and through you.  Let it enter each organ, each cell; all through and around you.

 

Give yourself permission to just be in this moment for a mere few minutes.  Breathe deeply.  As you release your breath, release the tension with it.  Blow out extra; blow out longer.  

 

Feel yourself sit heavier supported by what is underneath you.  Notice your hands. Your face. Your shoulders. Let the tension leave you.  Allow it to diminish.  

Know that whatever comes your way, you will know the what and how in each moment ahead of you.  Give yourself this moment now.  Just now it's all about you and your body and your being.  Cleanse yourself from worry.  Connect to the love that is inside of you.

 

Love.  Breathe in and out peace, ease and inner knowing.   Let the noise be.   Let the noise go.  

Take yourself, in your mind, to your favorite place.  Feel the place.  Smell the smells. Hear the sounds.  Be what makes you you here; what makes you happy and content; relaxed and free. 

And, work out from this place and go on with your day....   Breathe.  Trust.    Send love to what you worry about.   You have you.   Even when it doesn't feel so.   Honor God (Your Creator) by honoring what has been created as You, only you.

 

You have 100% survival rate thus far.  Believe it all works out in the time and manner it is suppose to.

 

Be Here Now.  

I love you."

 

May you give yourself permission to have what you need/want.

 

Honesty

"Honesty delivered with love is a gift.  By honestly and lovingly drawing the line, by choosing not to accept someone's harmful behavior, we honor ourselves and we uphold the best and the highest in that person."

from the book "Honor Yourself:  The Inner Art of Giving and Receiving" by Patricia Spadaro

May you give yourself permission to be honest with yourself and share this honesty without. 

This surely can be a challenge.  I have known myself to feel paralyzed as to not get someone mad or put too much on them or that they would even leave me...  And, I have never once walked through this fear where I then didn't feel truly loving and empowered.  To trust someone to 'handle' our truth and trust ourselves to handle it however they know how; knowing we will be okay...  woo hoo.   That pretty much sums it up --  woo hoo!  lol  true

Running In and Out

As I 'run' from apartment to house, I think of you and I wish you a nice day and staying strong, gently, in who you are.

May you be where you want to be and, at the times that you may not be, embrace where you are as best you can.