Be U: February 2024

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, February 9, 2024

What's Up

I don't know what's up just now. Hence, the title of this blogpost.

I'm at my computer waiting on some work and I thought I'd give it a go.

Nothing. I don't really have anything.

Water is on my mind.. to drink it.

The written word 'mis-takes' is on my mind as I first saw it written this way yesterday by someone pretty cool; I am sure.

It reminds me of the written word that I've been using for a long time of 'dis-ease' because that is what it can be to me.

I see birds out the window soaring high up close to the clouds. I see the palm fronds dancing which I really enjoy the experience of.

It is a quiet afternoon out the window other than that. Nice, dark green grass and pink, dark pink and white flowers. Orange hibiscus. The colors popping and making me feel good.

Just being in the moment.

May you be in a moment, or as many moments as possible, that brings you 'home' to your happy.

Yes, You can... whenever you choose it for You.

Hang loose and be kind, true and open to You.

Move

When you find yourself not liking how you are feeling, perhaps, move.

Move your thoughts; Move through your surrounding or environment; Move your body.

Change one thing that is inside of you to change.

Close your eyes, breathe deep, go into the feeling - really connect with it. Say hello. See what comes to you do say; to do; to be; to believe.

Relax into it and trust that this feeling is on your side with best intentions.

Do a workout. Stretch. Open to your body and move it in the way it wants to move. Jump up and down. Wiggle. Dance. Move robotically. Move freely. What feels best to You...

Look at your thoughts. Listen to your thoughts. Be aware of your thoughts. Change your thoughts. Can you change and/or create them into something that feels more encouraging, open and loving...

If you don't like the way you feel, you can always choose to move; one thing or a lot of things.

May you change the energy within You when you are not vibin' well with it.

Try it. I hope you like it. For You. Your way. Your timing. Your wisdom. Your ability.

Your move. Ha.

Brainiac

Oh the brain. my brain anyway, can get tired, run down, zapped and even fried. Processing too much information in a small amount of time can make me dizzy/ditzy.

And, every hour, of every day, if I'm not aware of this 'too much information' syndrome, it can constantly bombard and fill me up to overflowing and/or spent.

It is not a place I currently enjoy.

Sure, I love using my brain; learning, growing and am fascinated by new information. I can also feel bamboozled, overwhelmed and know when enough is enough for now. I seem to realize it more quickly than ever before. There is a need and a desire in me to notice this in the healthiest way to myself.

Balance of some sort, some way works best for me. The need to be 'on' is good to consider. The need to be 'off' is best without guilt and plenty of love and compassion.

May you balance the use of your brain in the healthiest and most enjoyable way for You.

Perhaps, this is the new [or another] meaning of Brainiac.

May you let your awareness of You and your needs love yourself through.

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!