Best

"Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out."  Art Linkletter

Yesterday, I was toying with the idea to live drama free.  I did really well.  It was one half day. lol  And, in truth, I'm much better with drama free and I am getting pretty good at it; even while paying attention to the 'elephants in the room'.

Last night there was a movie on that I chose to watch that was total drama.   I found it interesting to witness people responding fighting what is.  It was pretend and, yet, I'm certain it carried much real-life drama.  It confirmed that I do a lot of thinking/acting that I do not want to choose to do just now, if ever again.  Much is 'popping up' as I transition to a new location; a new way of living. 

May you fly high with how things are for you just now because you love, you breathe, you share and you carry on.  Sometimes, just breathing is enough.  Other times, living very jovial is possible.  And, there are many ways to live in between.

Wherever you are 'living' just now...

May you relax into it and let it flow through you as you meet it with your truth; your possibilities; your hopes and your open mindedness. 

Unknown                            

           

Going

I don't have anything to share.  I sit here with the dogs barking inside and outside of the apartment.  I just got 'home' from looking at houses; driving by the beach; having lunch with my husband and I, gratefully, come home to a clean apartment because the people that help me clean were here.  How nice it is to walk into a clean home.  It is a wonderful gift for me.  It gives me peace and I believe I breathe easier even. 

My mom was a complete clean freak and even my shoes had to be put in their 'proper' place.  While I am not as neurotic as she, I still know the value of a clean home and can drive myself to discomfort easily without one.  Clutter is not my friend.  My whole being feels 'cluttered' when my living quarters are cluttered. 

This is probably both good news and bad news.  What is not good news and bad news...  I'm not sure there are too many things that are only good news and/or only bad news.

What if news was just news.  What if I chose not to label and just to live.  Perhaps, this is what I'll 'play' with for the rest of the day.

No drama; no judgement; no good; no bad...  even stevens....

This could prove interesting.!.!

May you allow your life to just be.  Feel your way and, yet, no labeling.  Acceptance; clarity, love, and trust...  Can it be done...  I'm willing to find out.  Let it be; if only for today.

Things....   just are.   It's how we respond to them that, perhaps, matters most...   Do we 'play' along with the drama or do we act like a Beatle, and just "Let It Be"....

NO LABELS NECESSARY day

This is how this picture came just now.  It is a picture of my Little Bear laying on her back not a care in the world... This is how it transferred to my blog.  Hoot.  No labels. 

Thankful

Today is officially Thanksgiving Day in the United States of America.  It is a day where families and friends get together to celebrate what we are thankful for and to eat big meals and relax and have fun.

I have celebrated my Thanksgiving Day already with my family as my daughter has decided to go to Pennsylvania to be with her boyfriend, friends and see some family. 

So, today, we are not cooking a big meal.  We are relaxing and enjoying each other as a couple and dreaming, planning and discussing our next steps in our transition to settling into a new home here in sunny Florida; a dream that has been mine since I was my daughter's age. 

We are having a crab feast.  Quite different from the turkey meal that many families have today.  And, it is quite enjoyable, freeing and delicious!  Hoot!  I celebrate and know thanks with ease, joy, and doing it the best way for us as our lives are today.  This is good stuff.

I am very grateful finding my way to create this type of day for myself and my husband.

I am grateful for the blue sky, the cool air, the warm sun.  I am grateful that my Little Bear is feeling better every day.   I am grateful that my daughter is living her life and way capable to do so.  I am grateful that my husband is here with me and we are building and creating again for the next chapter of our lives together.

I am grateful to you for visiting me here and I am grateful for finding myself here, standing strong, within these posts. 

I know gratitude in my belief that if you come 'here', you, too, want to stand strong and lovingly within yourself and this makes me very happy.

May you stand strong and come from love in all you do, are and breathe.  May you know much gratitude for the things that allow your soul to shine and leads you living through the person you are here to be. 

JUST BE YOU.  I am thankful for you. 

Where I'm At

I'm not content where I'm at.  To me this is just about the same as saying that I'm not sure where I'm at because I'm surely not staying 'here'.  Transitioning from an old life to a new life is quite the change and challenge.  It offers many opportunities to learn about myself; my life; the people in my life and what makes me comfortable and what throws me out of sync. 

I am learning that for each situation, I can choose my own response.   I can choose comfort or I can choose dis-ease.   I choose comfort.   I'm choosing comfort in this moment because the dis-ease is not fun.  I am going to better embrace where I am and not only know that this is exactly where it is best for me to be just now; but be loving, open, trusting, and easily amused by the discomfort that arises when I feel out of my element and/or safety zone.

I knew anger today.  Anger and I were never friends.  We didn't even coexist.  We just pretended like the other did not exist.  I was afraid of anger.  Anger did dare come up to 'greet' me.

Well, today, anger and I saw each other for one of few times our paths have crossed.  It almost felt empowering if it wasn't still so scary for me.  I didn't like how my anger made another person feel.  It made me feel less than kind/caring/positive. 

While I know anger is only an emotion, I also know if anger is expressed not at someone, but in a way that I feel it, acknowledge it, process it, learn from it and let it go; it is way less hurtful and most productive.  I did this also today.

I voiced my anger, questioned my anger, discussed my anger and explained my anger.  This got me past my anger and to love.  It was quite exceptional. 

Anger can be very helpful to propel one out of or away from a situation that doesn't satisfy my soul.  I invite anger to be my friend.  However, I invite it as such to show itself but allow me to express it in a loving, productive way without creating a defensive line towards me.!

May you realize what and why your anger arises and may you share it with the 'situation' that creates the anger and may you dare to process through it lovingly, openly and truthfully.

 

Loud

Life is 'loud' just now.  Many are feeling different; seeing different; knowing differently than in the past.  We are being forced to acknowledge, deal and participate in much change; different circumstances; and many new ways of living.

How exciting!  How challenging.  How scary.  How wonderful.

We have this.   It's not just about creating what we want.  It is also about embracing where we are.

"It doesn't matter what you expect from life.  What matters is what life expects from you."  David Wheeler

May you be aware of what life is asking you to do and may you be open to the experience of it.

Unknown                               

Little Bear Happy

My Little Bear is feeling much better in the hospital.  She is more chipper and feels much better.  Her body is responding favorably.

Once she eats and keeps the food down, she will be coming home!   I will be very happy to have her playful self with me where she belongs!

I am grateful for the people that were able to help me.  There were many.  How lucky I am. 

May you be grateful to the people in your life that help bring you joy.  Perhaps, let them know how lucky you feel that they are in your life.

 

Little Bear

My Pekingese little dog is in the hospital.  We took her in last night around 3 am.  She had been vomiting all day and then developed diarrhea with blood.  My poor little baby girl.  Seeing her little face look up at me telling me she just wasn't feeling good was so difficult.  Her big eyes with her little face and extra long body was not peppy and spry.  She is a joyful thing.  She is not the brightest as she runs and plows into whatever gets in her way...   She is just the most 'full of joy' dog I've ever known.

They say she will be okay.  I am told with hydration and antibiotics they can get her insides to calm down.  Culprits could have been something she ate or a bad (very bad) reaction to the medicine (anti-inflammatory) that I gave her to help her walk better and feel less lethargic. 

I just want her home with me; once the diarrhea and blood thing gets healed.  That is not a fun thing to watch, experience, or clean up after. 

I count down the hours until I can call again to see how she is doing. 

I am so grateful I had people I could go to for help.

I hope she can bounce back to herself and continue sharing her joy with everyone who comes in contact with her.  She is a great joy in my life for sure.   I just do not want her to suffer.

Sometimes I think watching someone suffer is harder than being the one that suffers; although neither is preferred.

May you walk through with intent and engagement of any suffering that may be present in your life just now.  Allow yourself to feel what it is all about for you and my hope is that it moves through as quickly, easily, and informative to your being in the most productive way possible.   Grieving/sadness/discomfort are all okay if/as this is what you are feeling.  I believe it's a must to feel it to free it.  May you feel it and when you are ready and able, let it go.  Love yourself (and others) through.  Allow yourself and others to be and experience in the only way we each know how... today.  Allow the experience to 'just be' and allow yourself to be enough just as you are.

Celebrating Thankfulness

We are celebrating Thanksgiving today as a family because my daughter is going to Pennsylvania for the actual holiday. 

I am learning that I had much comfort and self satisfaction in my home in Pennsylvania.  Where I am now is quite different than the ease of my home built to my specs with my comfort of who I am and what I'm about. 

I became dependent on the house to be part of my self worth.  I allowed material things to comfort me and help me to feel worthy of a good, comfortable life.

I'm not very comfortable where I am just now.  I find myself miserable, at times, because of this.  I find myself ashamed at the feelings I am feeling and anger at not making today only about the people I am with.   I find myself angry that I cannot set a nice and beautiful table.   I find myself frustrated that we are all piling on top of each other to complete the tasks at hand.

My husband has done all the shopping and is cooking the meal.  I am grateful for him.  I am grateful for the meal.  I am grateful that we are all together. 

It is not in open space.  It is not with fancy dishes.  It is not in complete comfort and beauty.

While this feels not easy, I know that this is a great gift.  We have to stay more connected.  We offer each other more help and support.  We invite a beautiful friend that means much to all of us.

So, while preparing and thinking about the 'feast', I feel stressed, unhappy and mad at myself that this is where I find myself AND I also know that I am learning, seeing and feeling different things and experiencing myself in a new situation; a different situation than what I have achieved previously. 

My Little Bear is walking much better.  However, this morning she is sick to her stomach.  I think it may be the anti-inflammatory medicine she was given on Friday and Saturday. 

I sit 'between times' and I am open to learn, to give, to be and to love.  I am also learning how to receive and let others help me with their words, their love and their gifts of who they are. 

Wow, I am way out of my comfort zone.   I do not feel okay.   I know that I am okay.  I walk on.  I am blessed.

May you walk on and through all the comfort and discomfort that you find yourself knowing.  All of it together is what makes you you.

May you love (regardless of the comfort levels you find yourself experiencing) as life moves on, in, through and around you - May you love.

                                                    Geff Gorman Photography

Breathing

Sometimes breathing is all I can do.  Sometimes, I'm not aware of my breath.  Sometimes, I breathe shallow.  Sometimes, I hold my breath.  Sometimes, I take a deep breath...  I believe this paints a picture.

Our breath is everything.  It coincides with everything we do; everything we feel.

Our breath is our life.

Fear has away of taking our breath away; however, so does awesome beauty and excitement.

Interesting.

May you be aware of your breathing today.  My hope is you can choose to breathe deep, even, and long breaths all the way past your toes, beyond your head, out through your fingertips and throughout your internal organs.  May you nourish yourself with your breath.

                                                  Jenny Dean

Dove

This past week I have been waking up in the wee hours of the morning to a dove singing its song; a very soft coo.

Last night I looked up "Dove" in the book by Ted Andrews.  "Animal Speak:  The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small". 

"Although its song is heard throughout the day, it seems more distinct at dawn and dusk.  These are the "Between Times" - a time in which there is a thinning of the veils between the physical and the spiritual, the past and the future.  The dove can help you to use these times to see the creation process active within your own life. 

The song of this totem tells you to mourn what has passed, but awaken to the promise of the future.  It is a bird of prophecy, and can help you to see what you can give birth to in your life."

May you be aware of everything that you are and feel in this moment as you emote, create and build for the next.

                                             Unknown (this picture picked itself!  lol) 

Life

Sometimes I get so caught up in my life; all I can do is live it.  How wonderful.  I am reminded that I live as 'lone'.   I come into the world as one; I will leave the world as one.

Yet, I feel so much energy in this 'one'.  Energy of aliveness; energy of others; energy of places, people and things.  I am one with all of this.  I believe, so are you.

When we are deep within ourselves, or not; we can allow these energies; this energy, to reside, propel, and just be.  How brilliant it all really is.  Mostly 'brilliant' is what I do not understand with my human brain.  Although there is a brilliance all its own there.

I have been dealing with fear of what is going on with my pekingese.  She has laid still and seemed uncomfortable at times and certainly has not been herself all week.  While I felt it is her back, the doctor said it is not.  She is starting to move more now and be her joyful and silly self.  She is still not completely herself; I believe she is getting there.  She is 8 years old.

So, while I was experiencing what I knew was, at times, teetering between paranoia and reality, I felt this connection of one with all that is.  I feel it greater when I am around death which may be thought of as somber, morbid and, perhaps, rightly so to most of us. 

We really do have what we need for this lifetime in us.  When I speak, act and relay my truth from deep within, this is when I feel the most peace... no matter the circumstances.

I am also learning that when I speak, act and relay my truth, an energy arises that supports and allows others to do the same.  I find this very exciting and peaceful.  It may not be smooth, it may not be happy, it may not be easy AND it is the greatest connection to this oneness I have ever known.

As I write and wonder about crazy, strange, bizarre, beautiful, loving and awesome, I question my words here.  And, these are my words. 

I'm not planning them, editing them.  I am allowing them.  They come from me.  A 'me' that I find so much easier to share on 'paper' then voiced.   I am learning to put a voice to them.  I am learning I am beautiful because of who I am. 

May you allow you to live inside out.  It takes great courage.  I say good thing we were born with courage.

Live YOU on.

You are a miracle.  Let us know the miracle of you that you know deep inside of yourself.  Please and thank you.

(weirdo that I am!) 

                                         Northeast Kindgom Photography - full circle rainbow

Guideline

"Ask for what we need; practice what we are given."  Mark Nepo

Is this the answer for living more peacefully?  Never give up on asking for what we want; asking for what we need.

However, always be passionate about where we are; what we have and the experiences that are given to us and that we, ourselves, create.

Perhaps, a good rule of thumb to live by.  Not always easy.  Never impossible.

May you be open to receive what you want/need as you find yourself knowing that you really are okay in all situations you find yourself experiencing.   [Especially in the situations we have trained ourselves not to feel okay in.]

Perhaps, these are the most propelling and informed situations we have.  Perhaps, if we come from love and a great and courageous willingness to learn instead of from fear and fighting what is, this just may create a stress-free moment...  Oh that would be good stuff!  lol 

Please let me know how to do this once you have it figured out! 

                                                     Unknown 
 

Gift(s)

"Every single being has an amazing unfathomable gift that only meeting life head on will reveal.  And, we cannot do it alone.  So, that's why we need each other."  Mark Nepo

Mark's words are truly a playground for my soul.

We do our best when we support and allow others to support our truest of self.  My hope is that you allow yourself to trust yourself enough that you allow others into your life and love fully and openly knowing that no matter what, you will be okay.  Live playfully. 

May you know where your soul enjoys to play.  Play there.

"Cleansing Prayer"

I saw this today while looking for some helpful information because I'm not having such a good beginning of the week.  My Little Bear dog's back is acting up.  She had major surgery four years ago and I feel frightened.  I feel like much of life is very heavy right now and hard to understand, feel, know and to even participate in and/or just be with. 

So, just in case you, too, have some 'heavy' stuff going on...   I'd like to share this with you.


"May your hands be cleansed so that they create beautiful things.

May your feet be cleansed so that they take your where you are most needed.

May your heart be cleansed so that you hear its guidance clearly.

May your throat be cleansed so that you speak words of kindness & love.

May your eyes be cleansed so that you see the wonder & magic all around you.

May every cell of your being be restored to its pristine state.
And so it is!"                                                    Emmanuel Dagher

I'd like to add:

May you ears be cleansed so you can hear the silence. 

                                                        Photo and Prayer by Emmanuel Dagher
 

Value

"If I don't have an understanding that I need to be present where I am; then, when I'm doing four things at once - that becomes the value by which I live."
  Mark Nepo

May you be aware of the value(s) by which you live.

                                                   "Bubblevision"

Worth

As I contemplate going back to work, I am also contemplating my worth.

Is my worth how much money  I make; how happy I am; the relationships I have, or just being content with it all...

Can I be worthy just because I breathe; I am here; I love; I live...

Perhaps, the question today isn't what are we here on Earth for; what is our purpose..  perhaps, a better question is what is my worth and how do I measure it.

May you measure your worth in whatever way that works best for you from your deepest innate level.   May you know you are way worthy.  I believe this is God's will.   I believe we are born worthy.  It is what we tell ourselves (or what we hear/feel and then believe) as we grow up into a new awareness that just may have us questioning otherwise.

The Universe seems to support what we believe. 

May we have our social awareness and our spiritual awareness aligned as best as possible to know and own the abundant amount of worthiness we are born with.

Worth (dictionary.com)
preposition

1. good or important enough to justify (what is specified): advice worth taking; a place worth visiting. 

2. having a value of, or equal in value to, as in money: This vase is worth 12 dollars. 

3. having property to the value or amount of: They are worth millions. 

 

noun

4. excellence of character or quality as commanding esteem: women of worth. 

5. usefulness or importance, as to the world, to a person, or for a purpose

6. value, as in money.

7. a quantity of something of a specified value: ten cents' worth of candy. 

8. wealth; riches; property or possessions: net worth.

 

The word of the day on Dictionary.com is "Commix" - to mix together; blend.   Hmm. 

                                              ""Beautiful" Pictures of Nature !"

Another

Another sunrise to start fresh.  Another day to break the fast and have breakfast.  Another day to create the day you want to live in.  Another chance to live the best you.  

I awaken to another day.  There is always 'another'; until the very end.  I embrace myself and my 'anothers'. 

May you be in the present as you walk into another moment.  May you embrace each moment and pat yourself on the back for the triumphs and love yourself through the challenges.

Perhaps, you can choose to always be there for yourself.  Ha. 

Taurus 11/16

"If you have been keeping busy by doing favors for everyone else, it's your turn to take care of yourself now. Thankfully, the sensitive Moon's visit to pragmatic Taurus helps to focus your feelings and stabilize your world within the context of larger emotional currents. Don't waste your energy today pursuing grandiose ideas; instead, concentrate on practical business. Connecting with your heart actually enables you keep your feet on the ground."  Tarot.com

I do have grandiose ideas.  I do want to take care of  business and be open to grandiose and practical career ideas.  And, what a hoot -- I want to be able to use the ground easily with my feet and walking forward.  I do find myself not reaching out so much to have a connection with the world outside of myself just now.  I am very much with what is going on with me and my feelings.  I'm feeling sorry for myself and want to not reach out and feel outside 'stuff' just now.  I have much emotion to feel, process and let go this morning. 

I wish I felt like having all horoscopes here because if you are not Taurus, I'm not sure how this would amuse or help you.  And, I know if you are interested enough to know your horoscope for today, I know that you will find it.  And, in truth; we all really know what is going on inside of ourselves and this is the most valuable information to experience. 

May we all own what is ours to own.  Feel it, process it, move on in love of self and others. 

We feel what we feel for real reasons, we are not deciding to feel this way just because.  We feel this way because of real reasons...  who we are, where we've been, where we are now, and what we know.  Like Oprah says -- "when we know better, we do better".  

Wherever, whatever, however, whoever, whenever --  it is enough right now today.  You are enough.  You matter.  Walk on.  We live... today.

In love 

                                                               Unknown

Settled

I awake early this morning and go for my walk with my dogs.  It's a lovely serene morning; comfortable temperature.  I used to love the early morning hours jogging on the boardwalk and/or driving the 80 miles to work or watching the sunrise before most people were out and about.  (I only drove 160 miles a day for one year by choice.)  I used to be an early bird many, many moons ago. 

I have something unpleasant going on with my toes.  I think there are 'sores' there deciding whether or not to approach full fruition.  (what? lol)  I have one small mark of dying skin in between the toes on my right foot and I have something underneath my big toe that doesn't allow me to put full weight on it.......

I do not like this information.   It is scary to me.   It certainly is information.

I think with all my talk about 'unsettled', perhaps, my feet are responding.  So, hopefully, no more talk about being 'unsettled.'   I AM SETTLED IN MYSELF.  I am settled where I am for today.  I stand strong and the ground supports me beautifully.  I walk forward with ease and trust in the process of life.  I am in the flow of my natural evolution.

I stand strong and settled in who I am even if I don't know exactly where I am going.  My feet and body support me moving forward. 

I'm also wondering if the exercise (which is stress on the body) is affecting my feet.  I've had glimpses of foot problems in the past few years and luckily the 'problem' kept on going right on through.  It didn't settle here.
There's that word again. Settle.

Exercise  is a type of stress that asks the body to respond to become stronger, leaner, and healthier.  It is good for us.  It is a happy thing.   And, listening to the body is the most productive way to exercise on.

May you know where and how and when it is best to settle and best to move on. 

                                                        South Florida Snow!!  lol

Lost the Joy

Well, if I'm being truthful, I lost the joy as the day went on. 

"Things' just happened out of the ordinary; out of what was originally scheduled in my mind and I felt anxious and somewhat uncomfortable because of these little things.

I'm still okay but I lost the joy for a bit.  It is quite cool here, sweatshirts cool; and somewhat a dark day.  No blue skies, no bright sun.

I do see the palm fronds frolicking in the wind.  I find joy in watching this.

I think I'm ansty to be out and about.  I'm stuck inside out of habit.  I am not working and I know that leaving the house costs money.  Ha!  It was different when I was a stay at home mom watching a child; building home(s) and working hard at upkeeping same.

I am now in an apartment that needs very, very low maintenance.  While I am breaking down my home up north, I have much help and I'm finding myself as the outside 'manager' managing the placement of the material things.  I'm so grateful that I do not have to be there in the cold; in the stress; in what would feel like sadness to me...  there is enough of it going on in my heart as I participate this way.  I am blessed.  I am grateful that I get to do what works best for me.  I am grateful I have 'angels' helping me with this huge amount of work. 

I don't feel like I'm working my 'keep' any longer.  I feel a great need to offer more to the family; to my husband; to myself.

I envison/feel/want myself going out and working and be-bopping around town spreading health and wellness; hope and joy.  I get angry when other people are doing what I want to do and getting wonderful responses and succeeding at bringing people joy.   I want to be one of them... Correction, I need to be one of them.

Good news/bad news is ..  I am the only one that can make this happen.

So, I sit in frustration, contemplation and doing little bits and pieces to create my professional debut after 20 years.  This feels awful scary; awful exciting and I begin a walk into a career that I will create and find.

Until then, my joy comes and go.  My hope comes and go.  My confidence comes and go.  I guess I can be very grateful it comes!  lol  Feelings will  most likely always come and go.  This is simply experiencing being 'human'. 

May you allow whatever comes to you, through your openness; through your self... May you know that it is enough; it is okay; it is you and it is your future being built in the present.  Woo Hoo.!  Live the truth of you forward.  Live the best you that is inside of you to live now. 

                                                       Unknown

Joyful

I awake to joy this morning.  It is a choice that I am choosing. 

As I walk the dogs in a windy spritz, I see the joy and their 'smiles' as they run and play.

As I wait for my computer to turn on, with its own hesitation, this morning, I feel the comfort of the chair and know gratitude for having ease to 'connect'.

I put the bird out back on the patio and she is chirping and hopping happily to get her new treat of honey and seed. 

I await the cleaners as they will help me to clean and have a comfortably clean apartment. 

I'm getting ready to have breakfast which is guacamole and garlic hummus with no salt pretzels and water with cucumber slices in it.  Yes, this is what I eat!  lol

I know joy.  I allow joy to enter my body and mind.  I see joy as I open to it.

May you know joy today in the little things.

If you are lucky enough to have a day of great joy doing something scrumptious, 'in'joy every moment!  You put yourself there.  Pat yourself on the back; know gratitude and live on.

Mosquito

"Mosquito reminds you to listen to the lessons you are experiencing. She shows how to listen to the patterns in your life so that you can fill nourished and fulfilled once again. She demonstrates the art of timing: movement and progression, rest and relaxation. What should you be doing? It may be a period of increased creativity and new endeavors. Mosquito medicine demonstrates the power of positive and negative energies. She shows how to transform personal attitudes and aids in recognizing attitudes of others. What is draining your energy? She shows spiritual and emotional nourishment is needed. Be strong and forthright. Fully trust your intuition, listen to your emotions and body reactions or it may "sting and itch" later. Mosquito offers opportunities to revitalize your spirit, take them when they appear."  starstuffs.com 

Coincidence...   I think not!   lol

May you trust how you are feeling and respond lovingly.

                                                       what's-your-sign.com

In Ur Face (lovingly)

I saw an article on nervous breakdown symptoms possibly being similar to symptoms of spiritual awakening.  It surely feels true to me!

With so much in our face; many of our old habitual disciplines not working and better and more true communication going on within and around us...

Many, including I, feel like we are way out of our comfort zone. 

We are supporting each other and we are moving forward. 

I find it interesting that, perhaps, in the past, many would flock to the doctors and get a pill to fix them...

I'd like to offer, yes, if you want to go to a doctor and/or feel the need to do so, this is one option that does work for many; thankfully.

Yet, there are still many of us that are hurting, suffering, and not liking how we feel and, perhaps, have even been told it's all in our head.  Just what if it is..  Just what if it sometimes is as easy as this... 

May I offer to accept how you feel just for today.  Give yourself what you want, gladly.   Pay attention to the nuances in your body and acknowledge them and, perhaps, just for today, embrace them.  I'd like to offer to go as far as to thank the feeling of nuance for the information that it's there to provide you with.  If you are not ready to say 'thank you discomfort/pain'; perhaps, just a breath of acknowledgement will do. 

We really are able to be in tuned with each other; the universe, nature and animals.  We only need to acknowledge it, accept this connection and believe.  Go deep within and feel the calm, the center, the ALL that is in you and every one else.  Perhaps, feeling It in our soul is a deep, everlasting, all knowing 'thing'. 

I believe many of us know there is something much bigger than ourselves to connect to.  Many of us feel lost or looking for something more.

Just what if this something more was just being, believing, knowing, and sharing everything that is inside of you through an open heart and a deep breath.  Choose to feel and see with what is your innate knowing to stand in your light of everything that you are.

We are being 'forced' to grow, be true, do different, gather in and walk on. 

I accept what I'm feeling, thinking, doing, breathing as my purpose on Earth.  May you accept all that you are as your purpose on earth. 

I'm thinking that the thing(s) we are most hiding from just may be the thing(s) that once shared, will be our freedom and end your search of something more...

Wouldn't that be a hoot?

May you do you - just as you are - through your loving breath and your knowing heart and your open spirit.

p.s.  It's worth a shot, yes?!?!?!    lol

JUST BE U  loving the idea!

                                                      Unknown

As I was typing this; there was a mosquito flying around me..  I feel a mosquito post coming up.   lol 

Breakdown

Today was a day full  of a real and true breakdown of my 'things' up in my Pennsylvania home.  The hardest thing for me to 'experience' was the 50 gallon goldfish tank being drained and the fish being taken away by the 'fish man'.  The young man that brilliantly takes care of our tanks emptied out the goldfish tank and took our goldfish away.   It truly is sad for me.  They gave me great joy.  I know this has to be done moving forward.  I have had this fish tank since I lived in Margate, New Jersey since 1989.  It is very hard to let go and let go I must if I want to move forward and create anew in Florida, USA.

I was on the phone (for over 3 hours) with my 'Angel here on Earth' Sister, who is managing all the layman's work to complete the tasks for breaking down my beautiful Shambala.

It was a very tough day.   I broke down many times letting the wonderful memories of the past process through me.  I am mentally exhausted. 

I have known greatness.  I have lived beautifully.  I have known true paradise here on Earth.  I will forever have this in my heart, my being, my body, my soul.  I will be forever grateful and in awe of life.

So, as I breakdown my home; breakdown who I was to recreate anew, I allow sadness, grief, some anger/frustration and great love of what was.

May you breakdown what no longer works for you to allow new creations to become possible.

Much

There is too much in my head at the moment to feel like I know how to put it down into words.  I am awakening, always.  And, with this awakening comes new insight into past, present and future. 

While it, perhaps, is wonderful to have clearer and other views on situations, it is also difficult and uneasy to process from time to time.

How I did things in the past that have, perhaps, brought me 'lessons', now, in the present, is quite the uneasy, can't get out of, have to walk through processes that are currently presenting themselves.

I have learned that when building a home, to go with the reason to get or do something special, is not the best reasoning to think that this will increase the price of the house or make it more wonderful if I was to sell it.   I have learned to do things because I want to enjoy them and I find them wonderful.

I am learning that just because something is not discussed or inherently not thought about, does not make it any less true.  I am learning to discuss and to not ignore the 'elephant in the room' is, perhaps, not a comfortable way to go.  And, to live with same for years surely is a disservice to one's self.  Because eventually these 'elephants' get louder and more prevalent until they are discussed and processed through our minds, bodies, and souls.  They do not leave until they are 'seen' and formally dealt with.  Perhaps, this is truly the most common denominator of our learning and purpose of life here on earth as humans. 

Once I processed that my childhood family was not together as what I thought of as a 'normal' family; that my dad had ran for the hills; and that my mother was struggling and doing the very best she could... I ended up finding great love and appreciation for life.  And, for years, I ignored the truth and it festered in self abusive ways of denial, numbing, hiding and even to the point of not reaching out as my whole self.  Perhaps, even 'burying deeply' the part of my self that knew great pain because of my reaction to the hurt.  [I am happy that a 'normal family' is stated as a much broader possibility when it comes through love. There are many more acceptable 'normals' today.  Adaptation, whether it feels hard or easy is happening at a much quicker pace just now.] 

I am now connected as one; from my early childhood til my middle life age.  I am, perhaps, even connected to past lives and the spiritual realm of unseen connectedness.  I feel much.  And, for me, feeling much isn't always the easy road.  However, the hiding/burying deeply of one's loving truth is certainly a less fulfilling life than being seen and feeling alive from within.  And, yes, it still feels scary to me.   Yes, I still am not fully sharing with the world.   I am fully within and without myself; however, in a limited, sheltered world of typed words.

Oh, I don't want this to be my 'burden'.  And, it is my truth.  Perhaps, when I stop feeling it to be a burden, I can find it completely exciting, invigorating, alive and woo hoo!  And, I am not quite 'there'.  I am following the paths in front of me as best I can.  I am open to walking down many new paths.  I am here to live, love and learn. 

OKAY... so.. 'much' did come up for me...  I'm not sure I'm real happy with any of it (lol) and, yet, this is my truth.

Truth on.

May you discover more of YOU today as you are open, loving, kind, gentle and when angry or frustrated, you feel it and let it go in a most productive and nurturing, growing way.

Pain

"The fear of pain, at times, was a greater pain than the pain I wound up encountering."  Mark Nepo

The thought of any difficult situation or my very own participation in resisting doing something or even a fear that 'something' may happen can be more paralyzing than actually moving through actual situations.

Our minds are extremely powerful.  We can just about conjure up anything in our mind and our bodies respond as it is reality.

I have lived through this fear of pain for many years.  I believe it is still with me in some cells of my body.   I have planned many an outing only to have to cancel reluctantly, sadly and guiltily.

I have thought about cleaning my closet for far longer periods than I have spent actually cleaning my closets.  lol and true

Just as in the placebo effect; when our minds believe we are taking a drug that will truly heal us, our bodies have been known to respond favorably.  When we have been hurt, our bodies respond cautiously moving forward.  When we have enjoyed a smell or a flavor, every time we come across this smell or this flavor, our bodies respond happily. 

When I am exercising, my body is so happy because my mind tells me it is good for me and it is fun and I lovingly know it as 'me' time.   When I miss too many days and go without exercise, my body responds sluggishly and seems to request unhealthier food because I tell myself that I won't be putting on the exercise outfit and I won't need to have any stamina or strength. 

Oh, the mind!  Every situation relies on it.  Every relationship/encounter/goal relies on our mind.  I had one person think that they could hide the fact that they were eating many extra calories a day if no one saw them doing so.  Yet, their weight gain would tell the truth.  Oh, the stories we tell ourselves.  Most of us are very good story tellers. 

May you realize when your mind may not be working in your own favor and actually take a few minutes to mentally change the thoughts in your mind until they feel better as to create easier and more loving productivity in moving you forward as your best self.  "You know you got it, if it makes you feel good."  Janis Joplin

"Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.  May you be your own best friend."  Debbie Hershey McMahon

Today is a whole new day.  THINK the thoughts that work for you now as to who you are, who you want to be, where you want to go, how you want to do YOU and allow your own loving authenticity to propel you and your happy feeling thoughts into your future. 

If you find yourself thinking the same negative thought again and again... Realize this thought and change it up.   For example, I've been thinking for a very long time that my fingers cannot do that.  I started thinking I can find a way to do that... and guess what -- it works.  Not every time, but more than it was when I was thinking I couldn't do it.   It rarely worked then!

Think well my dear friends.  Think well.

                                                    Regus Office Space Rentals

Airport

I just got back from dropping my husband off at the airport as he heads back up north.  We found an office for him down here and He Will Be Back!   lol

It is 5:39 a.m. and I'm going to go back to sleep shortly.  It is a beautiful clear night with some soft clouds and bright stars.  80 degrees.  

I was listening to 'Doctor Radio' on the return trip and it was about depression and anxiety; drugs and cognitive therapy.

I'd like to offer may we all just accept where we are in our lives as much as possible and know that we are okay even if it doesn't feel so always.  We will walk through.  We do survive.   We do thrive.

We all have something that we think/know that we'd rather not have in our lives.  And, just sometimes, God/the Universe/Allah has something different planned for us.

When I go against this way bigger plan than I, I hurt; I struggle, I know depression and I know anxiety.  When I accept, process, walk through what is in my life with love, hope, and the best way I know how...  I am more free to be content, happy, safe, and loving.

Whatever you are going through, whatever you are feeling - you are allowed to respond with sadness, grief, hurt.   It is the natural response to many things.  

If you don't want to answer a phone or respond to an email just now; it is okay.  Perhaps, you can just respond with I will get back to you ASAP or give yourself 24 hours to just be what you are. 

Live in your truth.  Do not fight it.  Allow it with grace and love.  And, if it is in you just now, allow the pain and hurt also.  

May you process what you are feeling and know that it is right for you for right now in this moment, as you are, to feel exactly what you feel or you wouldn't be feeling it.  Come from as much ease, love and awareness as you can and walk (or crawl) or persevere through.

When we are happy, full of love and excited -  we do not fight this.  Perhaps, we do not have to fight the opposite feelings either...   Just what if...

May you embrace yourself and your world as you FEEL and let LOVE, [even under any anger/hurt/pain (or is it above)] in each moment you experience. 

May we not run, use drugs, shop, gamble, exercise too much, or eat unbalanced to not feel our feelings any more.  May we support each other to feel and walk through these feelings embracing the miracle of just being.  Breathe YOU.  Know kindness, gentleness and even pain.   Then, perhaps, we can live most whole, together.

*Please note:  The radio segment was a woman that was depressed and anxious because she just lost a dear close friend, has struggles within her family and just had a child.  She was angry and wanted something to help her feel differently because she couldn't stand feeling this way and she felt she 'needed/wanted' to be 'stronger' than this.  I say she just lost a friend, has some tough situations and life transitioning going on... she is allowed and even has to feel what she is feeling just now. The longer she fights it, the more horrible she just may feel.  My wish is that she will allow herself freedom to feel what is inside her to feel and love through it as well.  This is a good time for gentleness, self love and truth.  

I don't know anything for sure....   I just know how I feel and what I believe and what I wish. Honoring on.   

Disguise

"We are so accustomed to disguising ourselves to others that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves."  French Author 

May you 'play with' and/or 'focus on' your disguise(s) [as you aware of wearing same] and do with them what is best for you to allow great love, openness and truth to flow from, around, and within you.

From my own experience(s), it is most likely not the easy breezy path to take.  Yikes!  However, it has always been the most healing and miracle enabling path. 

                                                         Unknown

Rain

Rain, Rein, Raine, Rane

It looks and feels like that it will be dark and cloudy with rain and wind for a few days.   It started yesterday and I awake to a morning of the same.  It is lovely here because, while damp, it is 80.  For me, this is lovely.  There is not a chill in the air, but a breeze that flows through.

My husband is still here and he is not working today.   

We are getting ready to go to the gym and my daughter has her girlfriend from Pennsylvania here.   All is happy here.

I'm excited to see what the day brings as I am open to the experiences and to creating along with them.

Why I put all the different 'rain' words at the top of this post, I have no clue.  I feel hesitancy as I type.  I have no clue as to where I'm going with this post.

I feel strange and insecure. 

It is dark as I sit here.  It is quiet except for the buzzing in my ears.  I can hear the keys on the keyboard being depressed quickly and easily.  I just heard the refrigerator click off.  My one dog is on the couch scratching at the blanket that sits there to find her place.  on the couch?!?

Today is a good day.  We have never seen this one before.  Maya Angelou has surely become a legend in her own way.   And, beauty and love is what she excudes out into the public.  How lucky we are to have people like her in our world.  Many youths are like this.  Society is allowing and supporting our young'uns to go deep; live from deep within themselves without being called selfish.  This is a beautiful thing.  Us olders need to forget what 'society' has taught us on this subject and love within first; then we can be nothing but love without.

May you be open to love all that is within and that is YOU.  May you just breathe love as you let go, hold on, become aware, change, alter, evolve, and keep what is brightest and best for you to easily move in the glory of YOU.  May you share this with our world.  I/we need you to.

                                                        Tribal Goddess/FB

*Today's word of the day on dictionary.com is En Bloc which means "as a whole"...  While my rain words up top are not all real words, I am leaving them there, because I'm feeling that even though there are many things we cannot see and that are unknown to us...  'things' just may be possible and present to support us without us being able to scientifically support them...   Hmmm

Oh, what a weird mood I am in....

I'm going with it.   If I am learning anything - it is to 'go with what comes up for me'..  Go with.  I am starting to hear myself say 'I know nothing'....  I go with it...

November 8

Happy Birthday to my most 'precious' of relationships...   Happy Birthday Daughter!

-------------

I wrote this to my friend who had a birthday yesterday, November 7.  The day before her birthday, November 6, 2013, she buried her own mother.  I respectfully share this with you.

-------------

Waking up on my daughter's 19th birthday, I contemplate the years past. 

Oh, the fun and joy of all her firsts.  The smiles and laughter, the excursions I have enjoyed.  The dependence of a babe that I was blessed to experience... 

Life is a miracle. Our connection to each other, while it feels like a miracle,
is really just what is; what it's supposed to be.

To be highly aware and sensitive to all our connections is the best life lived, perhaps. 

God has blessed us again and again and again.

We adapt. We grow. We fight.  We learn.  We love.  We live.

We live as best we can in the greatness of self and others.  Nothing matters
more. 

We live.  Sorrow just may be a gift as well.   Although it feels much different
than joy, we must know great love to know great sorrow. 

And so it is.  

I know great love.   It is a fulfilled life.

May you experience your own life as 'fulfilling'.  Just maybe, it truly is.

Fulfill - "to develop the full potential of" (dictionary.com)

5 Years

What if what I'm involved in will matter 5 years from now....

This is what is 'tormenting' me to explore...  Because after sending my previous anxiety post out to many of my friends, many may be contemplating exactly this...

The house I am looking for, the profession I am building, the direction in which my family is going -- YES, all of this will matter 5 years from now.

I am in trust that life will unfold exactly how it is meant to for me.  I am 100% participating in the 'unfolding'.   I am aware and I am open and I stand in my truth.

Yes, I could freak out and worry and wonder all the 'what ifs'.  Yes, I could break down and cry all the 'why's'.  Yes, I can allow fear to drive me into quicker and hastier decisions.

And,  RIGHT NOW IN THIS MINUTE I AM OKAY.  I work from here.  I branch out and grow from this place inside of myself.  I look at my track record and, yes, I've made many 'mistakes'.  And, all these mistakes have brought me to here, now.  AND, I survived and I am still standing.  So, knowing this, I know I will continue to survive and do the best I can with what I have, what I know, who I am and where I am.  It is enough. 

Life changes in minutes.  Now is the best time for many of us to recreate, evolve and grow from this person that we are today, in the now.  How exciting!

Never say never because we know this is true.  Things I once thought were never possible has happened again and again. 

So, while sometimes life feels impossible, it never truly is. 

And, at this point, I'd like to repeat because I truly believe....

May you know you were born to 'have this' and you have everything in you to move onward, upward and forward from here. 

Anxiety

I have a lot of anxious energy with me as I awake this morning.  I hear the landscapers blowing their blowers that beautify the grounds.  My dogs are waiting very nicely to go for their walk. 

I have my cleaning friends coming today to help me with keeping the apartment clean and extra comfortable.  I strip the beds so that the bedding will be ready to be used when they arrive. 

My whole family is living here just now.  We are used to living in open and somewhat separate areas; at least where we 'plant' our belongings. 

Not much  is 'planted' here.  It feels somewhat chaotic to me. 

I have created this.   I can choose to secure my stuff in a more proper, easier fashion.  I can choose to look at how to better use the smaller space that I am unaccustomed to.  But, nooooo.   I create this anxiety on my own.  I know there is positivity in a smaller place - definitely easier to clean. 

I am inviting the cleaners to come.  I am choosing to have it decluttered before they get here.  This being human is so much less fun for me than being connected to the spirit soul. 

So, as I sit here writing wishing I could just feel less anxious without participating, I know this is not the case for me.   I know that if I sit here, STOP, breathe, relax my body and perhaps, even ask myself if this will matter 5 years from now...  Ha, this won't even matter 5 hours from now!!!

And, I'm walking around breathing heavy, back hurting and mind unfocused.  Egad

So, I tell myself I trust myself to be okay no matter how this day unfolds.  I open my heart and feel the truth.  I decline and change the voices in my head that have me feeling like a lunatic!  lol

I am okay just as I am.  I will know what to do when the time comes to do it.  I am safe and loving in this moment and I walk on from here.

I have this.   I was born to have this!

May you know you were born to 'have this' and you have everything in you to move onward, upward and forward from here. 

Living

What comes to me today -- is to LIVE INSIDE OUT.

I read 'love yourself inside out' and, yes, this resonated with me.

This is what we are learning to do.  This is what our purpose is here to BE.   The people that do live at least part(s) of themselves inside out are the ones that seem to be most happy; most successful, most with the flow of life shining their light that is connected to them sometime, perhaps, around birth.  If something inside of you wants to come out through your greatest truth and love, may you resist no more. 

Live the light within without.  No judgment; only support and love.

To get to know what is on the inside -- one way is to be still and listen; be still and feel;  be still and respond.  When I was busy doing everything but be still - there were still signs, voices, and feelings that were present.   I chose, perhaps, not to see, listen or feel what was going on with me. 

I now have been seeing, listening and feeling a great deal.  Perhaps, it is time for me to get a little busy going on. 

Perhaps, the balance of both is what creates the human lifetime we are here to live and which creates out best of self.

We move forward.  We create anew.   We let go.  We hold on.  We support and we do our best.

May you live inside out, if only for a day...  Try YOU (on) this way.   You are worth the experiment.  Someone in the world just may need the experience of you living this way.  You can always go back to living the inside in anytime you choose.

Live You - all of you just as you are.  May you let love.   May you know gentleness. 

                                                      Unknown