Wowza, Wowza, Wow

I am so totally living my truth right now.  I have what's on the inside of me now connected with what I show on the outside of me.

And, it is taking every cell in my body and it's mitochondria (energy source) that I have!  My head is spinning as I process this new me.

AND, God is not easing up on me just now.  Or life; or the Universe; or myself.... with whatever is creating 'THIS' in my life currently.

I have my daughter dealing with her life and life's issues; I have my aunt leaving today, with my help, and her life's issues and other life changing issues with people that I love.  (driving 160 miles today with snow and ice in the forecast).  Life - isn't it FUN?

I know boundaries are important.  I am trying to set them and live within them.  I know empathy and compassion for others and self is important to me.  I know staying sane and managing and even having some 'reserved resources' for myself are important to me as well.

I'm playing the LIFE game big today.  I am planning on winning on my own life's course and I am feeling like many meteors are being thrown at me.

Some I will catch and use; some I will toss and some I hope to dodge completely.

May you play your life game to win today.

WOWZA

That's all I 'got'.  WOWZA

May you know peace in the chaos and truth in your action.

                                                     my birds

Today is a New Day

Today is yours.  Today is yours to do as you choose if you choose to do it this way.  Today is here now.  Yesterday is gone.  Tomorrow is not here.

Today is yours. 

May you choose to live this day with all the joys that make you feel happy.  I'm sure going to give it my best shot!

March

With March just around the corner, I hoping that Spring is too.  Spring used to be my favorite time of year because it meant everything in nature was coming alive; I was coming alive and we had many, many months of good, warm weather and sunshine ahead of us as well.

It's a beautiful sunny day today.  Spring feels like it's in the air.  I'm certain it is not here to stay; just yet.

I'm moving forward and ready for a party.  I'm ready to start doing some fun things in life and not have so much focus on growing and changing; learning and revamping who I am.

I'm feeling the itch to do this!  Uh Oh  - look out.  LOL

I've been on private yachts, private islands, flown first class, visited and explored many islands and destinations; danced til dawn, slept all day, been with wonderfully charming people, flown in helicopters, worked for large companies and small companies, owned my own company, was a stay at home mom, lived with people; lived by myself, studied alot of interesting (to me) things; and built my own home; owned a few properties, lived different areas, had a child, had a dream romance (and sometimes still do; depending on the day) and been surrounded by beautiful things and beautiful hearts.  I've been blessed.  I am blessed.

I stopped for these past two years to be still and look inward and study intensely who I am and what makes me tick.  I didn't really plan it at first.  However, I went with it.   

I think I'm ready to live our world again and explore, share, laugh and dance.  And, this is for starters.

I may feel different tomorrow (ha) and this is how I feel today in this moment.

May you explore, share, laugh and (fill in blank) today!

Time

I feel like I do not have enough time to sit at my computer and write about my life, my self, my challenges and my wins.

I do not feel calm enough.  I feel with my aunt wanting and needing me and all my other responsibilities and commitments, I am not comfortable and relaxed in the way I was previously.

Also, when I write  - I think who wants to hear about this stuff.  This doesn't help anyone.  This is way off.  This is embarrassing.   This is wrong.

Oh, the 'bad voices' are out strong as I attack each one and decide what to do with them.

I mentioned to a beautiful person the other day that I feel I have succeeded in almost every way to be the real me with a woman that I've known my whole life and we kept the 'you tell me what to do and I will listen' mentality with.  I have almost completely changed it to my betterment and contentment and truth.  It's really beautiful and it took much energy.   Peace has come.

I am still stuck on waiting on her more than necessary and I do not know how to attack this just yet.  I know she enjoys it and I like that she does and I know I'm hurting her by allowing her to not get her own meals, even though she has become capable of doing so.  We decide she will in the morning and neither one of us says differently than what we have been doing for the past three weeks; me getting her tray full of breakfast goodies and delivering it to her. 

This is the last 'thing' for me to conquer and I will have conquered all the demons within myself that I have wanted to with bringing her in and helping and encouraging her to heal. 

I get mad that I didn't conquer them all and I am proud that I conquered most.

It feels better to pay attention to the pride than the frustruation.

Today, may you concentrate on what you are proud of within and about yourself.

Card Playing....

"Competition, fending off one's adversaries"   This is the card I picked last night.  FUNNY     7 of clubs  (by Ravensong)

"Adversary - a force that opposes or attacks" (dictionary.com)

Mmmmmmmm

What truly feels, best inside of your being, when opposing your adversary?

Always Room

I'm learning that I always have room to improve, learn, grow and challenge myself.  Life just has a way of creating this 'room'.

I'm better at not 'pushing back'; accepting what is and speaking my quiet inner voice out loud.  I am learning that I have a right to live my place here on earth and to be true to myself and not worry about my 'social face' so much or 'is it the right way'.

I am learning to live what is the best way for me and being social means sharing me through truth, love and listening.

This is all working out quite nicely for the most part.  I am feeling more in my body and more able to take up as much space in the world as feels warranted.

Life is good when you just BE YOU.

May you BE YOU today in as many moments as you can allow comfortably; and maybe even with a bit of discomfort until the comfort sets in more easily.

How often do you dare show the true, ultimate, maybe even wounded YOU that encompasses Y O U  in this life?

New Hairdo

Well, my new 'do' is just that - NEW.  I have dark hair were I always had light hair.  I have bangs where I had none before.  It's exactly what I asked for - NOW, what do I do???  lol

Something inside of me was asking for this change and I have it now.  It's is quite a change.  I don't love it immediately; let me just say!

I'll take it day by day and see where I end up.  If I go back to my norm; or if I 'play' with this new me and feel it out; so to speak.

Funny things I get myself into.

May you RUN with what is in your heart to do today.

                                                         Picture sent me via text.

Tired Head

My head is too tired to know what I think or how I feel other than tired.  We are trying to figure out the next chapter for my aunt.  What she will do; where she will go; how she will be.

Life is throwing a lot of new challenges at me and I'm doing pretty good getting through them.  I'm honest and open and moving forward through love and honesty.

And, I'm tired.

My daughter is down in FL and my husband is over in China still and I'm dealing with the 'home' I live in and everything and everyone in it.  I am the hub of many people.  I love being the hub.  I love being connected to so many walks of life; different people; different ages and different needs, desires and dreams. 

It's a hoot for me.  I love dealing with the truth of myself and others.  It's really fun for me.

It's very satisfying for me.

I still get more drained than I want to.

I want to stop the 'drain' and continue the connections.  I wonder if I can make this happen.  You betcha I can.

May you make happen today what you most want.

P.S.  I'm going for a new 'do' to match my new self.   I'm open to see what evolves.  Bring it. 

What a great opportunity life is giving me to create the life I want to live.  If you see an opportunity for yourself, may you grab it!

Waking up Poisoned?

Of course, I'm not really poisoned.  However, I think the Keflex antibiotic I am on is breaking up some 'stuff' and I have 'dirt' in my eyes that is not usually there and a bad taste in my mouth.

The stitches that dissolve are still in my mouth and the pain is pretty strong.  My face is a bit swollen and it's time for me to go back into the dentist chair.  I don't know what my mouth is doing.  I do know it is not healing quietly.

I feel very tired and my hands feel very swollen and my skin feels very numb.  Lucky me.

So, as I am working on getting the 'poison' out of my body; I move forward with love and an open heart and know that I will be okay.

May you know that whatever you are going through today; YOU will be okay.  And, if your day is really OKAY today, may you enjoy every second!

If you are good today, then may you WALLOW in it!  Lol

Truth

"The truth shall set you free."

I am learning that once I speak a truth from a place of pureness - a place of love within myself; a truth that I may be afraid and/or fearful of speaking - BAM, I am set free of this truth.  It doesn't bind me or hurt me like it does by keeping it buried inside of myself.  It doesn't eat at me or use up my emotions.  It is gone as I believed it to be.  Speaking a feared truth may change my perception of it; it may make it less powerful over me.  It does empower me to speak it.  I find that it can also empower others. 

Many times, laughter follows.  It is quite interesting. 

May you set some 'truth' free today!

            E M
                  
                                                                                         YOUR WORLD.

"How do I keep going on?"

I went to "The Alchemical Tarot" card deck and had the above question in my mind.  I closed my eyes and ran my hand just above the spread out deck and when I felt 'heat', I stopped and picked up this card with my eyes now open.

"Five of Vessels"
"Five egg-like vessels were arranged on shelves, but two have fallen.  One has broken and has hatched two birds.  The birds represent things that were hidden, but are now emerging from the unconscious."

"Tarot Wisdom:  You are experiencing commotion, chaos or a loss, but one that is accompanied by a happy discovery of something unexpected.  The message here tells you to look past the loss to what is being gained.  Or, it might relate to a sacrifice made or needed to be made in order to gain something better."*

*From the book "The Alchemical Tarot" by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place

I am choosing to learn how to be and live 'me' in all situations that life sends my way with peace, honesty, compassion and truth. 

Honesty in how I feel and am affected and truth in sharing this honesty.  Ohhh, scary.  I find I have no other choice at this crossroad in my life.  I also know it's a beautiful gift to myself and my world.

Bring it on World.  I am ready.   Bring it nicely and with ease, please!  lol

May you share your honesty and truth with compassion and peace with the person/situation that you least want to today.  (do you dare?)  I believe it's better than keeping it in.  My energy is with you.   ooooooo

Achy, Beat Up, Tired

Oh, I how dislike admitting to these feelings.  I feel like such a whiner and a complainer. 

I am achy, I am beat up and I am tired.  I am not balancing well. 

I had great dinners and lunches this weekend with family and friends.  We laughed, we shared, we discussed and we ate.

I tell myself that with all the tropical beauty in the world, I find myself in 'Sleepville', Pennsylvania.  I say this because all the trees, grass, flowers; most of nature is asleep under the winter temperatures and conditions. 

Why do some of us that love winter find ourselves in the warm weather and some of us that love the warm weather find ourselves in the dead of winter.  It's a choice that I am choosing to live right now because I do not know how to do better.

I know my heart, soul, mind and spirit crave the warm sun; the palm trees, the ocean and the tropical breezes.  I shine in this modality of nature.

I shrink in the cold, dark, dreary weather.  And, yet, here I am.

Is this God keeping me here or is this my choice and choosing.  This has not been a horrible winter for me.  The sores on my fingers have been more minimal than most of the years I have 'weathered' the cold. I find myself more accepting of being down and in sweats.  I go out with the dogs for a few minutes at a time throughout the day and I love the fresh air for those few minutes.  After that, I get uncomfortable and hurt.  So, I come in and find comfort.

I am accepting more and more and coping and adapting to what is.  This is great news for me.  There is less stress; less fight.  There is more acceptance; more peace within.

May you have acceptance and peace within today.

                                                       

Dogs/Cats/Living

This is a letter to Father Hayer, Editor of Eastern Catholic Life paper from St. Mary's Church, Wilkesbarre, PA.  Written by "Father Pete"

"If I Didn't Have a Dog or Cat...

I could walk barefoot around the yard in safety.
My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.
All my clothing, furniture, and cars would be hair-free.
When the doorbell rings, I would hear a ring, not a bark!
I would have enough money, and no guilt, to go on a real vacation.
I would not be on a first-name basis with 6 veterinarians, as I put their yet unborn grandkids through college.
Th most used words in my vocabulary would not be:  "out" "sit" "down" "come" "no" "stay" and "leave it!"
I would not talk "baby talk" and my house would not look like a day care center.
I would no longer have to spell the words like T-O-Y, R-I-D-E, B-A-L-L, W-A-L-K, or C-O-O-K-I-E.

But, I would not know the joy of being loved unconditionally by the closest thing to an angel we will ever encounter.  How empty our lives would be without our furry friends!"

Based on furry friends, my life is overflowing with unconditional love.  How lucky I am.
Based on furry friends, my life is overflowing with all of the other 'stuff' also.  Ha!

May you notice the fullness of your life today.

                                     Change is inevitable; Choice is optional; Fullness is awareness

"The Alchemical Tarot" Book

More fun with "The Alchemical Tarot" book by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place

Six of Coins

"The card points to generosity, and the innocence of giving without attachment and expectation of return.  Children suggest a beginner's mind; that is, being true to your emotions.  When you are truly loving, you give innocently.  The child with open hands represents accepting.  Wisdom will come from the gift, because to accept freely is to love yourself.  The owl symbol on the exchanged coin also connote wisdom. The card may show that in some situations there may be more to the giving that is apparent on the surface.  Attachments and expectations may be disguised, but to give or receive without attachment allows wealth to flow freely and keeps one in harmony with the soul of the world.  As the I Ching states, 'It is the law of heaven to make fullness empty and to make full what is modest; - high mountains are worn down by the waters, and the valleys are filled up.'

Oh, my mountains are getting worn down and my life is teaching me how to fill up my valleys for sure.

I am learning more and more to be true to my emotions without question.  My aunt loves owls.  We are learning the give and take of our relationship through love, frustration, honesty, hurt, confusion, strength, weakness and day to day differences.

May you realize that when you find you've worn yourself down that you are the only one that can fill yourself up as well; AND may you do so lovingly and easily.

                                                      Deer in my back yard.

Keflex

Well, the work that was done on my mouth has made my mouth very sensitive; hurtful and painful to eat.  It is a bit swollen and I think my mouth may be in shock.

I called the dentist today and asked him to prescribe me antibiotics.  He asked if I was allergic to anything; and something in me told me to ask for Keflex.  Now, I have 'been around the block' many times and am very interested in healing modalities and causes and cures for many things is what I seem to easily pay attention to. 

After the dentist agreed to Keflex, I went and looked it up and I see it is good for skin and bone infections and infections of the middle ear; along with other things.  It is not good for the common cold or flu.  The SKIN infections is what I liked reading about and found interesting.  Perhaps, this will also help my skin on my fingers wake up and be healthier and more alive.  Maybe ringing in the ears (tinnitus) could possibly be addressed too.

Wishful thinking is allowed, yes?

So, I'm moving forward with acceptance of where I am as I hope and try for an even better way of life for myself.

May you choose the better way of life for you always.  You do have the key.  I believe that we already have everything in us that we need for true success.  We just have to tap into it.

Happy Tapping!

50 degrees F

Yippee!  It's 50 degrees and sunny.  Heat wave.

Oh my.   It was beautiful walking the dog somewhat comfortably this morning.  Fresh air, warm sunshine.

Very nice.

May you know the beauty of nature in your life today.

Alone

I'm home without my family these days.  My daughter has been in Florida, USA, showing her horse and enjoying the Florida sunshine while taking classes for her school work.  She is also working at the horse show.  She is finding her way and I am so very proud of her and it's fun to watch her spread her wings and do very well at it.

My husband is in SanFrancisco, California, USA and then off to China for several days.

I'm here 'holding down the fort' and the taking care of the animals and the upkeep of the house and helping and watching my aunt heal brilliantly.  I'm also trying to find good health for myself.  I haven't given up hope yet. 

The process can be tiring and exhausting; exhilarating and life altering in a positive way. 

It is interesting that when I find myself in pain and discomfort; if I look deep enough, I can also find the spark within myself that will try anything and be open to almost anything to find peace and comfort.

May you live your peace and comfort today just because you choose to do so.

                                          Puppies for Sale down at the Horse Show (sent by my daughter as a hint)
                                                              (they will be staying down in Florida;  I'm not that alone!)
                                                       

Realization

I am doing more for others than I do for myself.  Multiple trips to grocery store; multiple trips to doctors; well rounded meals.  I do special trips for the newspaper everyday.  I do realize I am doing these things because this is what I see/think she needs and it gives me something when I fulfill others' needs.  Like giving a gift; we do it because it feels 'right' to us. 

I am seeing with my eyes; mind and heart wide open.

I'm really good at taking care of others.  I want to be really good, again, at taking care of myself first.  I get mad that I'm doing more for others than myself only when I don't do enough for myself.

When I am happy; I enjoy doing for others.  When I deprive myself too much; I am not enjoyable to be around. 

I can deprive or blast myself with love.  Somewhere in between is most likely the best answer for me.

How to do it..... how to do it......

May you know how and enforce doing for yourself what keeps you in your (mostly) content place.

Survived

I survived the tooth extraction.  NOT the most fun I ever had and I'm glad it is over.

It ended up being a 2.15 hr. ordeal from beginning to completion.   It was 4 days ago. 

I received two sutures and I'm still unable to eat normally.  My gums are a bit sensitive and are healing; albeit slowly.

I'm a bit lost with the new responsibilities I took on and I feel a bit lonely.  I want to be more productive in my own life and I want to know more joy. (guess I don't want to talk about my teeth!)


How do I find my way?  How do I step out of myself and create myself anew. How do I learn everything I need to learn for now to be everything that I want to be for now.

We are all worthy of living our life to the fullest, happiest, greatest capacity.  I need to know what this means to me before I can create it. 

I'm not stuck, yet, I'm not content either.

I gotta lotta living to do.

May you know what happiness and living life to the fullest means to you and may you achieve pieces of this today.

Judging

I've heard it said that how harshly one judges others; they judge themselves, at least, twice as hard.

May you notice how many times you judge yourself and others today.


stephenwilcox.wordpress.com

Nothing to Say

I was always taught growing up -- 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'!

I am settling in with my aunt.  I am learning we are both very strong willed and she wants it one way and I want it another.

I am learning that if I don't save enough love and energy for myself; I am unhappy.

I am learning that if I don't say no when I want to; it's my own fault.

I am learning to just let things be and not worry about what isn't apparent in the moment.

I am learning to not pay attention to every ouch and pinch I feel.

I am learning that an 'ouch' and a 'pinch' does not turn into anything more than an ouch and/or a pinch (usually anyway).

I am learning that when one person wants mostly everything their way and I try my best to please; it's not good for anyone.

I am learning that when I give too much of me away; I am not pleasant to be around.

I am learning that when someone is willing to care for you; it's best to allow them some leeway in doing it their own way and not demanding more than they can give.

I am learning MORE that an open mind is a beautiful thing.

I am learning that fear can change a person's personality.

I am learning bundles!  Ha.

May you learn just what you need to learn today.

I believe God has put my aunt in my everyday life to teach me just what I need to learn.

Something that I have lived for 50 years is not easily changed.  And, with family, it may just be the hardest 'change' of all.

And, I will not give up until I am truly, ultimately, honestly me.

Happy Valentines Day

"Loving Others is Easy when I Love and Accept Myself."  Author Unknown

I know when I am grumpy and irritable, I am not as nice to others.

When I feel good and happy within myself; I'm much nicer and calmer with others.

May you feel great within yourself today and share this love with others.

Monday the 13th

Tomorrow seems to be shaping up to be an interesting, and perhaps, challenging day for many I know.  Some of us are coming back from a vacation late tonight and going right to work; some of us are coming off a sick leave and going to work; some of us are getting a tooth pulled (me); some of us are helping the one-less-tooth-wonder and taking over her role for the day of caretaker and provider; some of us have last minute changes in travel plans. 

It seems to be shaping up for many as a transformational type of day.  Interesting.

My hope is that the transformations are all successful and help to create a new and improved world around us as we learn to navigate all obstacles that come our way in an easier, more trusting, truthful and fulfilling manner.  Just be you again and again and again until it becomes so natural, you totally find yourself through the innermost knowing of your being.  No judgments.   

Are you ready to take your obstacles head on and transform your life into a well balanced you of today?

                                                      Email sent to me.  Too Cute!

Nature's Winter Beauty

The snow dropped perfectly down on us this week and mostly landed on the trees and grass.  The sidewalks and roads were not a problem and no shoveling was needed.  Miracle?  Ha.

A gift from God for sure. 

What beautiful 'gifts' are in your life today?

Nothing to Say

I don't have anything to offer today.  I constantly hear myself telling others "I am learning".  I am learning to balance between my needs and others.  I'm learning to be gentle with myself and not judge myself harshly ever.   I'm learning to accept what comes into my life and not wish it to be different but learn to live it different.

It's quite the coup.  I AM LEARNING TO DO IT BETTER.  BE ME TRULY!  I am blessed to know and live the real me.

May you be blessed to know and live the real you.

May each of us in the world know this truth.  And, then, may we share what truly matters on our innermost levels and let our world that we live in be quite the coup.  A place where we can all be ourselves and learn to live together in peace and harmony with ease.  It would be the biggest, bestest coup of all time!

coup (dictionary.com)

 [koo] a highly successful, unexpected act, or move; a clever action or accomplishment.

 

My 'nothing to say' turned out to be quite a coup!  Ha.

 

19 Degrees F

Need I say more.

BRRRRRRRR.   This isn't for humans!   Ha.   Especially this human typing this sentence.

I'm trying here!

May you continue to always know your peace through the chaos.

More Food for Thought

From the book "Dreaming of You" by Lisa Kleypas

"But how can you be so good at something and not enjoy it?"

Our habits.  I am very good at going numb and shutting down and turning off.  I'm not sure I enjoy it anymore.

Are you really good at something you do not enjoy anymore?


----------------------------------

Below are two excerpts from the book "Peace from Broken Pieces:  How to Get Through What You're Going Through" by Iyanla Vanzant

"Then again, I've learned we all get exactly what we need, when we need it, in order to learn what God intends for us to know so we can be who God intends for us to be."

May you know peace and acceptance where you are today so you can easily go where you are going tomorrow.

"But then again, everything happens exactly as it needs to happen in order for us to grow.  Damn it!"

Bound

From the book "Dreaming of You" by Lisa Kleypas

"She was the first human being he had ever needed.  He had lost his freedom in a way he had never imagined possible, bound more securely by her love than by a mile's length of iron chains."

Mmmmmm.   I have known this feeling.

Did I choose and create it?

Have you?

Where I'm At

I'm okay.  I'm a bit achy and I'm a bit slow doing things.  My fingers are tight and just a bit sore.  I do get another tooth pulled out on Monday and go right away for temporary work because it is in the front of my mouth.  I don't want to walk around toothless.  (that certainly would be interesting for me)

I found myself doing push ups the other day and I'm dancing a wee bit to any music I put on.  I haven't done push ups in quite a while.  They are not the easiest of exercises, however, they are 'good stuff'.

I'm trying to find my way with a 'guest' in the house and balancing their needs with my own.  I AM LEARNING SO MUCH through new connections/communication and stating my truth with whoever will listen.

All my 'oldest' of relationships are changing and I'm trying to be more open and honest about how I feel and think in the here and now.

It is quite challenging and quite life changing.

It's completely TIRING for me.  It makes my head spin.  I lose the ability to think clearly often.  I am grateful for the people that are sticking with me and staying open and allowing growth in their own lives.  It's kinda cool (to me anyhow). 

It's like creating new information over the old information and it can get mixed up and interspersed at times; in fact, very often.

Is there some information in your head you'd like to let go of, write on top of or add to?

Good news is - you are the only one that can.
Bad news is - you are the only one than can.

May you create information in your psyche that best benefits you today.

                            

Change

While bringing someone into my home to care for them changes the dynamics of everything; it also 'wakes me up' to more learning and ability to grow, still, on another level.

The challenges of give and take; do it their way vs. doing it my way is very prevalent these days.

It's amazing the fight my aunt has in her to keep control of many things; even a simple thing like 'you put my socks on up to my ankles and I'll pull them up from there' can stir my own frustration and how much 'give' is too much.   I realize that she wants to be able to do it on her own and her involvement in it helps her.  And, it takes us so much longer to do it this way.  I am learning patience in big ways.

I am also learning how to save and use some of my energy for me by saying no, or please wait, or I can't do it your way all the time.  Note the word 'learning'!

I think I've let the five year old's feelings and beliefs go; and I am still struggling with always wanting to please.  I did state I am not a robot that you can program while I was putting many things away exactly where they were being asked to be placed and exactly in the manner the placement should be done.  Mmmmm

Give and take; give and take. 

Something in me is telling me that this is my last big learning before I will fly again and live my own life as I seem fit.  To live and breathe and do what makes me truly happy with very little negative (if any) effects.  I don't know why I even think about negativity as I follow my own bliss.  Perhaps, this is my exact learning in the now.

My aunt turned 91 and she is a 'whip' and learning to be in her 'chapter' of her life with ease, grace and allowance.  When we discuss what is really going on in each other's 'beings'; we find great peace and connection. 

Acceptance of the unexpected changes that are bestowed upon us is the secret.  Knowing how to always do this is still amiss in me.

How are you at accepting and being open to what is in your life today?  Where is your ability level in truly dealing with 'what is in your life now' in a loving, easy manner?  Are you allowing your true essence to lead you?

Where I'm At

I see many of us facing ourselves head on and looking at our lives and getting real and truthful to ourselves and each other.

I feel this is not an easy thing for many of us and I believe this is a great thing for all of us.

Creating the life we want to live hereforth and acknowledging what is in our lives that we no longer need nor want and helping each other to be the best that we all can be is quite priceless.

It feels exhausting at times and, yet, being stuck or accepting things we really do not want to accept when we really do have the power to change is no longer the answer for a lot of us.

May we grow and also let go together.  May we create a beautiful world that is comfortable to live in.  May we choose not to ignore all the ugliness by becoming more aware of it with as much ease and love as possible.  May we accept and enhance the part of ourselves that will touch the world in the full way that is best for our inner beings and our outer worlds.  Baby steps are allowed.  Average steps are invited.  Giant steps are welcomed.

Are you ready to be, live and breath the true you while creating the magical world that is possible through this?

Whew, that's a pretty big dream.  Dreams become reality all the time. 

Magic (dictionary.com) but not verbatim
the art of producing a desired effect or result through techniques that presumably assure human control through the forces of nature

Finding My Way

Step by step, moment by moment, day by day, experience to experience; we find our way.

May you continue to find your way through being you.

I am stating and sharing my truth of who I am and what I feel and what I experience.  I sometimes find myself mad that I have to work at change and work at relationships and work at creating the life I need (I'd rather things just happen the way I want them to, ha) AND

I am realizing the alternative is being stuck.  I no longer want to be stuck.  So I work.

May you 'work' on something that you have been ignoring (like the elephant in the room, so to speak) today.

Don't be handicapped; wash it away; clear it up; deal with it in the moment.

Fatherless

"A fatherless girl thinks that all things are possible and nothing is safe."  Mary Gordon

Human Growth

"We do not suffer from the shock of our trauma, but we make out of it just what suits our purposes."  Alfred Adler

What are you paying most attention to today?

How does it suit you?

                                          View from the Biltmore Estate in November

Leaving and Coming Back

I'm leaving now to go to the doctor.  I am five years old.  I feel like I'm my 5 year old self when I am around my aunt. 

I hope to come back my current and true age of 51 and not be shaking so much inside.

What a great opportunity to learn.  I hope I am able to learn this and NOW.

What age are you today AND, most importantly, how is it working for you?  Ha.

In My Face

en.wikipedia.org

It is so in my face

the challenge to balance my needs with others

the challenge to put myself first and/or save some reserve energy for myself

the challenge to do things for others that I do not do for myself

the challenge to learn new ways

and

the possibilities of speaking up and sharing my truth lovingly and in a timely manner

What is in your face today?

Uncertain

I'm wondering if it's best for me to say no to having an elderly relative here after originally thinking that these next two months (while my daughter is in FL with her horse world), I was going to reacquaint myself with myself OR is it best for me to have compassion, empathy and understanding and offer her my home and my help.  There is certainly no other place, easily, for her to go. 

Overall, I say to myself to try it and revisit it in two weeks and see where I am.  At moments, I tell myself I am crazy.  Other moments, I tell myself this is where I'm supposed to be. 

I certainly am not 100% certain of which path is best in this moment.  So, I will have her here and see where we end up. 

I find it very interesting how this is the first winter I am here full time and not in Florida.  I find it interesting that my aunt got sick just as my daughter went away.  I know we built this house wth the thought of inviting others in. 

Something in the depth of me is telling me one more 'learning opportunity' before I let you fly.  My head is telling me I am afraid to fly so I created this.

I guess there is truth in both.  We humans are very complex and very simple creatures. 

I don't know how; I don't want to try to understand just now.  I just want to live and do and be the best that I can.

I've got the love and care of others down.  I am working on the love and care of self.  When these two things are combined - it is possible, right? - BAM.  A person can just about have it all. 

I'd like to offer ease of truth to shine bright in your life today as you live with ease, your truth.  Ha.

Tired

Tired.  Ha!

May you listen to your body's needs (extra special) today.

Interesting Times

I am going to Hazleton tomorrow to spread my dad's ashes on my mother's grave.  At last, my parents will be together again and I feel I will know some peace in this.  I can't explain, or maybe do not even want to try; but this is what I want/need.  I do this with my father's blessings.  My mother has been gone for a while.  She did tell me she loved him like no other and always would. 

On the same trip, I will be picking up my beautiful aunt from rehab and bringing her home to stay with me.  She fractured a hip and will be 91 years old in a few days (she'd kill me if she knew I was writing this).  I don't think she can access a computer.  (I sure hope not!)  She looks 71 and is extremely sharp minded.

However, her mobility has changed a lot since the fall and she will stay with me to keep me company (among other things)....ha.

Again, I was looking for what to do next in my life; this is the first winter I am not in Florida and whoola - here is my next 'mission'. 

I am afraid some; I am grateful some; I am happy I can offer her this and I have no idea what to expect.  I will go day by day; maybe hour by hour at times; and I only hope all involved can be peaceful, content, satisfied and truthful.  Possible? - I'll let you know!

May you know peace, contentment, satisfaction; and access and share your own truth today.