500 Women

I was just at a conference of approximately 500 women (and some wonderful men) who gathered together to learn, share, and to, perhaps, be open to all possibilities of one's self.

I am still at the conference site, there is only 1 woman left here now.  (maybe/maybe not)  Me...?!

I'm feeling a bit lonely without the energy of these brilliant, beautiful women.  This location is still one of my favorites and I still feel the beauty of nature; however, the feeling of connectedness and having each other's backs, camaraderie and similar goals is no longer present.  I feel it's loss.  I feel the loss.  I feel the lost of not being surrounded by a large group of people that want to support the individual in each of us. 

Is it still in my world, yes.  Can I tap into it whenever I want, yes.  Was it easier around these people, yes.  Do I want to always feel this, yes.

I am grateful I have friends, family and strangers in my life that are open to this same type of energy; this energy that matters to me the most.  The energy of togetherness, yet, supporting our individuality.  The energy that God has put us on this earth to grow.  The energy that the universe is always supporting us towards.

May you join me and tap into your energy that allows you to be you while supporting others.  Do you feel it?

                                                     Morning, Full Moon

Checkin In

I'm waking up in California after spending the night in California, Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey!  Ha.  Physically, I am in California, yet, my mind kept me on the East Coast of the United States of America.  Wow, what a storm.  What a night.  I understand the wind was like nothing experienced there before.  Waters flooding the subways, the yards and the tunnels.  Electricity blew out from many areas.  It was interesting how 3 people all went low on their power on their cell phones at around the same time and checked off from me one right after the other.

Safety came first and I am grateful that my loved ones are safe.  Not all are thrilled, there is much clean up and electricity is still off in many places.  Their world is different from the normal, for certain.  However, they are safe and have been changed forever in their own way; I am thinking.  I am hoping in the way that they need to best move forward. 

Some will handle it just as is.  Some will fight it and be 'off'.  Some will ignore it and pretend like it's not happening for as long as possible.  Some will be sick because the fear is too great.   All will react in their own way.

I hope they will find a way to react in what honors them best.

My wish for you is that you honor change in yourself in a way that allows you to be your best self; your best you.

                                                        

Massage

I had a scheduled massage today.  For the past four days, I have been trying to get a "Gabby" to be my massage person.  I kept being told she wasn't working or she is busy.

So, I went today scheduled to work with another therapist.  I am in the waiting area and I hear my name and lo and behold it's Gabby!  I thought too funny, I don't know how this worked out but I'm so glad it's you and yadda yadda.

So, we go in and I'm scheduled to have a stone massage.  15 minutes into it, I realize there are no stones being used.  I told her that I didn't want to create any problems for her, however, I believe I was scheduled for a stone massage.  She asked me if my name was ****** and I said no, it is not.  

So, when Gabby came out to get her client, initially, from the waiting room, I thought I heard my name and said 'here'.  I had no idea it was Gabby until after I shook her hand.

How funny is this that I got Gabby and with much effort on my part was told again and again that this was impossible.  Yet, I found a way (or was it the universe) to have her be my therapist. 

We have to put IT OUT THERE in the world or there isn't much of a chance that we will get it.

This may be one of those stories that 'one has to be there' in order to enjoy or get.  However, it was a great treat for me.  Yes, I felt a little silly guilt.  Mostly, I felt how lucky we can be how things sometimes work out.  And, to top it off, because of the 'misunderstanding', the spa gave me a certificate to come back for another session on them!  How 'sick' and lucky this situation turned out to be for me!

May things, luckily, work out in your favor today.

Stranded, Or Vacation

With the east coast of the United States in 'lockdown' because of hurricane Sandy threatening disasters all up in the Tri-State area of Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware to include New York and many other states, there are no flights leaving Los Angeles with a final destination anywhere near Philadelphia.  So, while we were leaving Palm Springs originally Tuesday, the 30th of October, we are now leaving Saturday, 3rd of November.  Just 5 days before our beautiful daughter's 18th birthday.  Woo Hoo

It's a bit unsettling, a bit dizzying and a bit exciting and all about IT IS WHAT IT IS.  I have no control over Mother Nature and I feel irritable and not in the mood to think about this.  Yet, this IS my truth and I'm going to go with it as best as I am able. 

I'm sad I'm not going home.  I very much miss my daughter and I want to be at home with my animals and I want to be there even though a certain 18 year old doesn't 'need' me to be.

With my original plans of going to Florida, November 9, it's even less enticing to stay here.  Yet, in truth, how fortunate I am that I am here with a very kind and brilliant man with mostly warm temperatures and a beautiful natural environment that is abundant.  What a great opportunity to be him and I (US) , all alone, with very little every day life's challenges. 

So, while many I know are sitting tight and waiting out the storm with anticipation of what it will bring, I am here and, when I choose, I can enjoy the sunshine, the absence of immediate possible hardship or danger and sit quietly looking at a palm tree or dance among the beautiful flowers.

Oh the possibilities. 

May you see the possibilities of what IS in your life and may you know the beauty of life in the chaos of challenges.

Trust the process, be flexible and accept where I'm at..... This is my mantra today.

 

December 21, 2012

"Both the Hopis and Mayans recognize that we are approaching the end of a World Age... In both cases, however, the Hopi and Mayan elders do not prophesy that everything will come to an end. Rather, this is a time of transition from one World Age into another. The message they give concerns our making a choice of how we enter the future ahead. Our moving through with either resistance or acceptance will determine whether the transition will happen with cataclysmic changes or gradual peace and tranquility."
                                                                                                                                                      adishatki.org  

"Braden: Science now is telling us that we, on this planet, our lives, and our planet in general, are under the influence of great cycles of time; cycles within cycles, within cycles. Some of the cycles we know about, like the 24-hour cycle of the day for day and night, or the 28-days of a woman’s cycle. But the great cycles cover such vast periods of time that we don’t remember them from one civilization to the next. Our present great cycle is a 5,125-year-long cycle linked to an astronomical event that occurred in the year 3114 B.C.

Braden: What happens during this time—and we have to be really careful when we talk about this—there is an alignment that’s occurring because Earth does this little tip and this little wobble over long periods of time. As Earth changes — tips and wobbles in its orbit, it changes the scenery of the night sky. It changes our orientation in space with respect to the center of our own Milky Way galaxy.

Scientists have discovered—and they are publishing this openly—that the center of our Milky Way galaxy is a very powerful source of magnetic energy. The term they use is “magnetic filiments” that radiate from the center of our Milky Way. Where we are, in relation to that source of energy, has a huge effect on planet Earth. Sometimes we’re further away, and we’re tilted away from it, and the effect is less. Sometimes we’re closer or we’re tilted toward it, and the effect is greater.

On December 21st in the year 2012, we have a straight shot—a linear shot, unobstructed by any other planets or any other bodies in the solar system–where we have direct access to that field of energy."

                                                                                           Greg Braden, Author/Scientist

I'm hearing about shifts, shifts and more shifts.

Shift in perceptions

Shift in sharing real emotions

Shift in being who we truly are

Shift in living our truth

Shift to stop the silence and all be heard

Shift to live the you on the outside that is the you on the inside.

Shift to honor all life.

May you participate (or not) in the Shift(s) that feels best ON you.

I'm also hearing a lot about our innate knowing. 

May you connect/reconnect to your innate knowing and bring it with you wherever you are.

Innate (dictionary.com)
"existing in one from birth"; "originating in or arising from the intellect or the constitution of the mind, rather than learned through experience"

MAY YOU JUST BE YOU without 'shoulds' or self-imposed 'obligations'

TMI!!!? -  I'm thinking this just may be too much information.  I'd like to offer to take what resonates with you; leave what does not.

Thank you for being YOU.

Funny Coincidences or Crazy Head

I was reminded this weekend that Rose oil carries one of the highest vibrational frequencies.  When I was sent away to overnight camp during a rough patch my parents were having, I had to pick a name of a flower to use as my 'camp' name.  I picked "Rose". 

I'm shooting for a very connected, together and 'one with everything in the universe' type of result.

I was also reminded this weekend about how fast some believe our universe is 'spinning'.  And, in the next few weeks, possibilities, growth, and, perhaps even evolution will change things up.  This is why many of us feel crazy, out of sorts AND why I believe we could all use seatbelts.  Some say December 21 will be a turning point and things/people/places/situations will calm and we will slow down some and be well on our way to creating a more together, happier, more fulfilled way of life.  Many humans will be using less "left brain" power (usually more analytical, objective and logical) and more "right brain" power (thoughtful, subjective and intuitive) moving forward.

I always felt like December 21 was a very special date.  I had, at one time, very seriously considered getting married on this date to my husband.

Am I being shown how or why things in my past were there to create my present and future and maybe  (just maybe) confirming that what I'm feeling and 'being called to do' is right on and accurate with what I'm feeling and believing.

I'm going to run with this and see what happens.  I have nothing else really; professionally speaking!

May you pull all your knowledge, truths and feelings together and aim for your true path.

Face

I have developed a problem where I had laser work done to take away some red dots on my face that have been bothering me for quite some time.  This is a procedure I've had done a few times since my 20s because of the scleroderma's tightness creating these red marks.

For some reason, this time, one spot didn't react 'happily' and I have a pretty sizeable 'boo boo' on my face.  I am walking around the conference with this mark on my face.  It is quite noticeable and not too pretty.

There is a woman here that I have admired for years.  She helps run the conference and is bright, beautiful and her energy stretches out and feels beautiful.

I encountered her twice; with each time, the mark on my face happened to be bleeding.  I did not realize this until after my encounters with her.  My face has bled only twice this whole time; each time I have connected to her energy.  I find this very interesting indeed. 

I guess you could say I'd love to have a job like her; be a part of creating a community like the one that she has helped to create and shine as beautifully as I feel she does in our world. 

Of course, I am afraid of getting in front of large groups; however, for now, this is besides the point....

Anyway, I came in tonight and looked up 'Face' in Louise L. Hay's book "Heal Your Life".  This is what I read.  I certainly felt like it was very apropos.

Face -
"Probable Cause:  Represents what we show to the world."
"New Thought Pattern:  It is safe to be me.  I express who I am."

Mmmmmm

Will I get my brave on and get on with my life already....

May you have your brave on and be getting on with your life!

Ego Self

Yesterday at one of my classes, a student was questioning a teacher on the subject of forgiveness.

An author, who was the teacher and strongly educated on the subject, was not understanding what was being asked.   For some reason, I easily heard the question and understood it and asked if I may help to reword it to the teacher.  Both agreed.  It worked well. 

Today, a beautiful woman had told me that her and her roommate talked and were amazed at how I was able to understand and reiterate the question from the student to the teacher.

I was a bit surprised and, yet, greatly appreciated that she shared this with me.  Three things come to mind.  One, I think that all my hard work is paying off.  Two, I think I was helpful to the situation and three, I must really ROCK!  Ha.

May you not hold back if you have a feeling to act or react with your open heart. 

Moonlight Meditation

I just came in from a Moonlight Meditation on the lawn of LaQuinta near Palm Springs, CA, USA.  I am so inside my body and I feel every cell as I sit heavily relaxed here in my chair.  I feel my own vibration and my mind is not as present as my being. 

The TV is on, I do not hear it and it is not bothering me. This is huge for me.  I never seem to be able to focus on posting and have outside noise near or around me.

The moon was magical as it sat on the edge of a frond of a palm tree.  The stars were bright and energizing.  All the attendees were respectful and honored one another. 

The mediator was brilliant.  I could tell that his class was well thought out and kind and I could feel his spirit surrounding and encompassing all of us.

He read quotes, played music, suggested certain meditations and encouraged us to let go and choose to believe anything is possible if we can only dream or imagine it.

The beauty of a group wishing well for each other and the universe is powerful, empowering and fun.

May you connect to your power and your fun today.

Inner Mind, Body, Fitness

I have signed in as an attendee to the Inner IDEA Conference.

This is what I am about to experience:

"Thank you for attending the Inner IDEA Conference - Your Journey to Wholeness"

"Every day at the conference provides a beautiful opportunity for creation - each session plants seedlings of concepts that will grow and develop into something that moves your mind, body and spirit."

"May the Inner IDEA journey lead you to wholeness.  We honor and support you on your path,
 The Inner IDEA Staff"

Wherever you are; whatever you are doing - may it lead you towards wholeness for yourself and all you encounter.

                                                      Palm Springs, CA

Welcome Day of Conference

I'm waking up to sunshine; fresh, dry air and a brilliant blue sky.  The beauty of nature is so enjoyable to me. 

Tonight is the welcoming ceremony for all conference attendees and I'm excited and uncertain as to where I fit in.

I know my goal, like others, is to enjoy, learn, share and be open to possibilities I've never ever thought of.

This is such a great environment for letting oneself achieve just that.  It feels safe, inviting, enlightening capable, with a great ability to bond between our inner selves to create a better outer world.  I feel it's an opportunity to be individuals that create togetherness like I've never known before.

How cool and right where I want to be!

My anxiousness is somewhat high.  My talking to myself to let go of fear and stay open hearted is almost constant. 

This is an exciting day for me.   I want this to be what my ordinary days are comprised of.  Possible?  Won't know unless I try.

May you know what you want your ordinary days to be made of and go for it.

Compassionate Mind

"In Buddhist teaching, people are urged to be compassionate, that is, to show respect and love to every single living entity.  Since you are a living entity, being compassionate also means having compassion for yourself.  Compassion includes having patience, generosity, tolerance, and forgiveness not only for others but also for our own struggles.  Compassionate behavior also means letting go of envy, spite, critical attitudes, and the desire for revenge.  These are integral aspects of living in a way that does no harm -- to others or to yourself.  They are fundamental Buddhist principles for living well.

Buddha emphasized that without compassion for yourself, it's impossible to display true kindness and sympathy for others.  According to this philosophy, you yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.  No matter who you are, you need and have the right to be treated well.  You cannot treat yourself well if you are not gentle and compassionate with yourself about your own issues."

From the book  "eating mindfully" by Susan Albers, psy.d.

May you be aware of your connection to compassion today.

Where we are...?

I keep texting, writing and talking about how I feel many of us are all just changing to fit our present day lives and are more open to living our truth.  I believe this will enable and allow our individualization to shine on, together.

In the meantime and during this time, we all need seatbelts to hold on, allow the process of 'self' and encourage and engage each other in our truth.

May you have your seatbelt on and ready to go!

Men and Women

Men and Women sure do things differently.  We are very different often from each other in the way we think; the way we do things, the way we react, and even the way we travel.  Ha!

This can work for us and this can work against us.

Mmmmm   LOL

I'm not sure where I am just now...?!?!?!?!?!

I'm trying to share my truth, be open to 'his' and compromise on each other's.

For me, it seems to be coming down to (again and again) sharing my truth through love as much as possible in all relationships.

I found out several times today, my hardest and most uncomfortable truth is what produces most favorable results if I share it. 

I found myself taking many deep breaths, facing my fear and ignoring my habit of wanting to repress my thoughts and feelings and being really brave and stating exactly what was on my mind through love.  Once through this, the other side was always brilliant.  Unfortunately, I had many opportunities to react in this manner... 

Yes, I've been married for over twenty years... Through experience, there is always opportunity for growth and learning. 

May you share your truth and find yourself growing and learning if you choose to do so.

P.S.  I (We) did make it to Palm Springs and it is as beautiful as ever to me!

Not Sure

I decided to open the Tarot Card book "The Alchemical Tarot" by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place to see what comes up before my trip to the conference which, to me, is about inner consciousness, openness and movement.  While picking two cards I was thinking about the trip.  With one other card, I was thinking about my husband.    LOL

Here is what I picked.

As I relate to the TRIP:

King of Staffs
"Our primitive animal passions are the source of our life energy.  They must not be vilified.  The dragon coiled around the staff is synonymous with the Tantric kundalini force, a serpent-like energy which coils at the base of the spine and is the source of psychic power.  This is a card of inner strength; it tells us that we have energy in reserve."

Ten of Vessels
"No one is emotionally separate and alone.  Harmony comes from recognizing your connections to others.  Do not isolate yourself - you need others to make your way in life.  On a spiritual level recognize your part in the greater whole of the divine cosmos, and know that the function of each individual is essential to the harmony of the whole."


As I relate to the HUBBY:

The Magician
"The Magician is a reminder that whatever we see in the manifest world contains a hidden divine essence; therefore, we are not to be taken in by shallow appearances, but must strive for deeper perception.  With the Magician we have advanced from the naivete of the Fool to the awareness of the initiate.
The Magician also represents skill, both physical and verbal.  Physical skill relates to athletic prowess or trade and craft skills, and the Magician plies these with confidence and ease.  Verbal skills are the gifts of eloquence and entertainment; however, these skills are also the dark gifts of the trickster who fools and lies with words.  Even the most accurate words lie, in the sense that they only point to reality and are not reality itself.  If this card relates to something you have been told by others, beware - do not be taken in by eloquence.  Stay grounded.  Examine and analyse.
The Magician also points to our inner self.  In this context the positive qualities of self-worth and self-confidence are emphasized.  Other people are attracted to the engaging, entertaining Magician within you; they admire your skills.
If there are any negative signs in the reading they may point to a tendency to be too intellectual, and to rely to too much on left-brain, rational thought.  The Magician ideally is a balance of opposites, with the left brain in harmony with the right, matter in harmony with spirit and the microcosm in harmony with the macrocosm.
The Magician's place in the Major Arcana as number one is the position of beginnings.  This parallels mythology, for Hermes is the god of initiation and of beginnings.  In a reading these beginnings might be a journey,  a new spiritual awareness, a new job or a new skill, a new relationship, or a new phase of life.  Hermes takes you to the threshold of change but does not lead you across it.  That is the next phase of the journey."

And, then, go deep.  We already have all the answers we need inside of us.  Can you find your depth to the most pressing question just now...  Are you willing to own it....  It's there...   BELIEVE

May you believe in yourself where you haven't in a while. 

                                            Eagles (picture from an email)

Mmmmm

I am who I am.  It is what it is.   Okay.  So, I'll go with this.! 

You are who you are.  It is what it is.  So, just maybe, go with this.!

See how simple life can be!

May you see the simple side of your life today.

                                       Ready to go; Anyone coming with me? Ha.  (Samba)

Leaving On A Jet Plane

I'm getting ready to head to Palms Spring, California, USA.  It is desert country with mountains.  It is a beautiful place.  Nature is abundant.  I love places like this. 

To get out of my house; my little world and leave my animals and family is extremely hard for me.  I used to have no fear in doing this.  I have great fear this time.  It feels easier to stay than to go.  I hear myself telling myself that these other 500 conference attendees are all professional and healthy.  Do I know this for sure.  No, I do not.

So, I focus on my goal.  I want to learn more about the body, mind and spirit.  I want to experience the body, mind and spirit in this way.   I want to be open and allow everything and everyone that I encounter to teach me and connect with me in, I HOPE, a good and positive way.

So, with all my thoughts of myself being a LOSER just now.   With all the fear, that I'm not good enough.  With all the hardship of letting go of control of my household....   

I'm leaving on a plane and doing it anyway!   I say to myself - YOU GO GIRL!   LOL

This feels better than when I hear myself say WHAT A LOSER!  UGH

So, may you hear yourself telling yourself all about your wonderfulness, bravery and strength that you have within you.    I know it's there.

Throw the Ball

As I throw the ball for Diesel today, I feel the ball in my hand; I feel my arm throw the ball with as much strength as I can muster; I watch the ball fly through the air and bounce on the grass; I see Diesel soar after the ball and grab it with his mouth; I watch Diesel with his front legs in perfect movement, quick and happily, run back to me to drop the ball at my feet.  I see his tail wag and I feel his anticipation for the next throw.

I do this again and again and again.

Am I doing a form of meditation?  I am completely present to where I am.  Mmmm

May you be completely present to wherever you are and whatever you are doing in as many moments as you can today.

Look and See

A dear, longtime friend of mine is taking a meditation class.  "Transcendental Meditation"

I'm thinking that maybe we can all kind of, sort of, participate with her (if it feels true to you).

May you really look and see what you look and see today. May you say to yourself "I see ........."  as you see what you see throughout the day.  No judgement, just SEE and take full notice. 

You can also choose any mantra (or repetitive saying) that feels right for you today .  i.e.  I am calm.   I am joyful.  I am burning belly fat.  I am okay.  I can do this beautifully.  I am beautiful.  I love me.  I am lovable. I matter.
I think you probably get the idea.   Good luck. 

May a deeper sense of self open up to you to have with you always.

 

Transcendental Meditation (dictionary.com) 
 a technique, based on ancient Hindu writings, by which one seeks to achieve a relaxed state through regular periods of meditation during which a mantra is repea

Be You

I continue to allow the deepest of what is inside of myself; what I know and who I am to show on the outside of myself.  I'm seeing and feeling myself reacting and acting to what is in the moment and the truth of what I feel, think and want to share.

I'm doing it more and more easily; less and less reserved.

I hugged a Verizon man the other day because he admitted openly that he did something wrong to my system.  I talked about my 'mommy' which is a word I hadn't used since early childhood.  It all feels real and true of who I am; yet, it takes me aback somewhat.

It's "SICK".   LOL

(SICK meaning really feeling good)

May you find yourself SICK today.

         A new coral blooming in my saltwater fish tank.
                                                        

Getting Ready

I'm getting ready for a 7 day trip to Palm Springs, California, USA.  My husband is coming with me; it changes everything....!  Where I fly into; a 5 day trip turns into a 7 day trip.  We fly first class.  We rent a convertible.  We go out to dinners.  Usually I go and just have a quiet, relaxing, get healthy and focus on me type of trip.   Both trips are great.  I am lucky.  Yes, I am trying to talk myself into this thought because right now my head feels all over the place.  This getting ready part of the 'trip' does not feel lucky.  Once I get my head in the correct 'game', I will be good.  I will be great, even.  It will be different from the last five years I have taken this trip; however, I am grateful to have his strength, openness and company. 

I'm also getting ready in the beginning of November to go to South Florida and move our furniture/artwork that has been in storage for 3 years into a lovely apartment -  An apartment where I am not responsible for much of the maintenance at all.  This is something every cell and fiber of my being is looking forward to.   An extremely low maintenance abode.  --  and with palm trees all around it.   THIS MAY BE HEAVEN ON EARTH FOR ME!

I also have a 'visitor' at my home.  Diesel, a pit bull/bulldog mix.  Full of energy and love.  My home is transformed into quite a different place to accommodate for him, with my other animals and our regular structure.  He is a lovely dog and he belongs to my daughter's boyfriend who I want to support and help.  Hence, a 3 week visit!

So, there is a lot going on around me.  I am finding it hard to write about because it's not all about me.  I do not want to offend or 'step on' anyone's privacy.  I'd like to continue to try to honor all living people and creatures.

My life is transforming right in front of my eyes.  I am a very aware participant.  I am very excited, and somewhat scared.  

I talked to my therapist about keeping ME while being around others and the world.  It's very easy for me to stay centered and focused on my needs when no one else is around.  It's quite a different story when I let others enter my world.  Yet, I am a better, happier woman when I have others in my world.  I am working on living my truth while hearing and caring for others' truths as well.

So, as I go about creating a new world for me to be in; I want to stay honorable and present to my own, along with others', needs.  I'd like to co-create peace/love/togetherness with everyone I encounter.  All I can do is try.

May you be willing to try your best in co-creating a nice truth with people you encounter today.

Open Hearted

"Anytime you can't feel your heart, you can't share your heart.  So, it's like dead man walking; dead man doing."     Iyanla Vanzant

May you have an open heart always and choose to live while alive....

                  I've learned panoramic photo...  cool (or is it 'sick') nowadays!  My backyard.

Blend Out

From "Building a Dream:  The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy (2007) story on OWN TV.

I 'met' a beautiful young girl named Lesego (pronounced La Sayho) and I was inspired.  A young, beautiful, cherishable and bright young girl and these were her words that resonated with me the most...

"You're an individual.  Act like an individual.  Don't try to blend in.  Blend out."

I believe she was coming from her very own inner knowledge; connected to the deepest inner source that we are all connected to if we just choose to listen.

Do not try to blend in.  In fact, it's a better idea to blend out!

Brilliance; truly.

May you blend out today!  May you blend out from within your deepest self.

Success

I'm in the middle of something.  Middle of change; between holding on and letting go; creating a whole new path for myself.  I'm stronger mentally and sit firmly within myself.  I'm, however, spacey, confused and uncertain much of the time verging out into the world.

I decided to play the tarot 'game' again.  This is what cards I chose.  It's all very interesting and fun for me.  I have to admit I like these cards probably best out of all of them!  Ha.

King of Swords
"Tarot Wisdom:  You have a deep-seated inner confidence.  This is true inner strength that does not have to be displayed.  Your communication is clear and decisive; you are not afraid to speak your mind.  You are capable of choosing whether or not to respond to the prompts of others, and to separate false preconceptions from fact."

Queen of Staffs
"Tarot Wisdom:  Like the Queen of Swords, the Queen of Staffs is presenting us with a choice.  In this case, it  is between that which is natural, unprocessed, or possibly crude, and that which is refined or sophisticated.  For more insight into these choices look at the cards that flank this one in your layout."

So, I picked one more card.....I have not learned how to 'flank' or do a 'layout'.  I only pick from a spread out pile, face down; and with my eyes closed, I move my hand over them until I think I feel heat. 

 The Star
"Tarot Wisdom:  The Star represents a secure guide to a higher level of consciousness.  It is the Higher Self emerging from the unconscious.  The Star indicates a sense of balance and of wellbeing.  It can be the peace after a storm, the forgiveness after an argument.  It represents the nurturing of the Great Mother:  of ourselves, and of others."

May you know peace during a storm, openness during an argument and love of self and others.

Confusion

I'm allowing confusion to confuse me with the new apartment to set up, wanting to call the Pennsylvania realtor, but hesitant.  I have a trip to Palm Springs, California next week to take the Inner Idea workshops for yoga, pilates, meditation, tai chi, meditation and many other 'inner' modalities of exercise and well-being.  I have a visiting STRONG dog and my little guys to concern myself with to be certain they are taken care of while I'm away.  The weather has gone down to 35 deg.  I'm just loving this...  Not!  AND, my fingers are still good - no sores!!!!!!

My husband is in Toronto and my daughter is planning another trip with her horses.  A lot of upheaval and yet, it's all good stuff; I can find it unsettling and confusing. 

There is so much information and new technology right in front of us at all times.  This is good (my new can opener opens cans in a way that the edges are not sharp!) and it can be overwhelming; hence, my seatbelt idea.   I believe we all could use seatbelts right now to keep us safe as we create, adjust and learn how to best live with this new world.

I'm hoping the young (and older) energetic people will thrive as they help our world settle into a togetherness of what is.  I'm hoping I, and all others, will keep their hearts, minds and spirits open to see and use what is best in the now.  Change things up for life to work best in whatever way life works best today.

Adjustments galore may be necessary.   What a challenge, perhaps.  And, what fun and excitement as well.

May you trust that where you are is right where you need to be.  May you trust that if you follow your inner knowing through open heart and engaged mind - all is possible.

                                       Marriott Living Quarters, Singer Island

Torn

I'm torn today between holding on and letting go.  There is a part of me that wants to hold on to my life as it is.  It's a pretty good life. 

However, there is this larger part of me that wants to extend outward and try new things and create new and uncharted territory in my own life.  How exciting this sounds!  Albeit, a bit scary too.  However, this time the EXCITEMENT wins out.

So, as I move forward, reaching out for help to do so, I plan to stay open and true to the real me.  I want to come from deep within and know empowerment through this.  I want to share and be open to acceptance of others and their truth.  I want to feel no fear in creating the next chapter of my life.  I want to throw abandon to the wind and sail on its strength.

I also want to sell what I have and buy a new home, a new abode if you will.   I want to create a new resting and celebratory place for which to base myself and my family. 

I have no clue what I'm doing; AND, I'm doing something!   Ha.

May you throw abandon to the wind and empower yourself through creating life from deep within yourself.

                                       Restaurant at Marriott on Singer Island, FL

Living What It Is

There is change in the air.  I believe lots and lots of change.  Mostly good, much hard.  With me believing I belong in the south; what do I do with my home up north.  It's way big.  My daughter is mostly grown.  My animals are less in number.  I'm tired of the little privacy I get in my home because the help that I need to maintain such a big home is necessary for me.  I appreciate the help.  I am grateful for my home.  I am overwhelmed by the work at times. 

Do I sell?  Is it time?  Do I stop holding on so I can create a better way for me.  I think yes.  I think with the safety of knowing what is, even though what is isn't making me happy in the same way, there is something that keeps me here.

I say time to move.   Now, I just have to get the rest of the family on board.   It is a decision to be agreed upon by all involved.  Oh jeez.

What's a woman to do...

May you know your goals for today and find the way to feel all on board about it.  Live today as if it were never coming again. 

And, yes, you are right, today is never coming again.  I feel like I want to put a 'rejoice' here!  Ha.  Rejoice in the day!

Rejoice (dictionary.com):  to be glad; take delight

Failure

I heard the word failure today.  It caught my attention.  I went on to contemplate what failure truly means to me.

Changing course is not failing.  To me, not changing and staying unsettled within is more entitled to the label 'failure' than not changing one's course when it is not fully working.   Allowing yourself to feel happy in one's heart and one's soul is a win-win to me.  Staying on a course that does not include this win-win is so what I do NOT want for myself.

So, I am contemplating great change in my life.  Finding a home in South Florida is a great start for me; however, I do not think I'm going to end there.  I want it all.  Love, family, career and self-appreciation.  I want all of these things.  I want all of these things for you if they bring you happiness.

May you keep changing your course until you have everything you want.

No more being 'stuck' for me.  I'm moving on up or out or somewhere.  I'm moving....

Just because we were born on this sweet, precious earth, we deserve and can choose to have the life that feels right from within.  What if all we had to do was listen to our inner knowing.  What if the best thing and only thing that matters most is to be who we were born to be.  Just be you; what if this truly is our answer...

What choice can you make today that makes you feel most like you....  My hope is that you choose it, through love.

Roads

"Thought for today...

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just

because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."  Author Unknown

 

 

Another Day

Another day to do better and be more like me than ever.   Another day to be grateful for all I have.  Another day to create the life that best fits me.   Another day to live.   Another day to just be.

I'm feeling scared today.  I'm thinking about changing things up in my life as far as locating and relocating and it feels scary some.  It's change that I want and know it will bring me great happiness and, yet, I'm feeling a reluctance to change things up.   Is it going to take away my safeness....

Of course, safety can be a matter of perception.  There is safe and unsafe everywhere.  Trusting the process of life and knowing that no matter what, I will be okay feels best to me.  Yet, trust isn't always present when I want it to be.

Usually when I get out of my present; my 'be here now' belief, this is when unsafe feelings can pop into my world.

As I type this, I'm worried about later on; worrying about what will happen in the future can create an unsafe feeling.   If I am here just typing away, sitting in my chair, with the water fountain trickling and the animals laying near, I feel safe.  Again, it's when my mind wonders about what if.... this is what scares me.   If I think of what is and accept this, I feel little fear, if any.

Fear is only a feeling and yet it can stop me in my tracks.  Fear, when walked through is something that can usually be laughed at.  Fear, when on the other side of it, is empowerment.

May you laugh at fear today and be empowered.

Cold

Whooooa....   It's cold out there this morning.  35 deg. F!  Brrrr.   Frost is on the ground.  It surely went from 65 yesterday to what it is now quickly.   Whooosh.   Knock me over.  I have on three layers and I am still pretty cold.  My nose and my fingers are numb.   Amazing.

The good news is....  well, just now, I can't think of any!   Ha.

If I tried real hard....  the sun is out, I'm warmer inside, I'm going to eat breakfast, I do have three layers on, it's quiet here in the house,

I'm not doing real well here....  I'm just chilled to the bone!  Amazing how sensitive my body is to this.  Okay, okay, so I accept that this is my truth.   I don't really embrace it, however, I am not fighting it anymore (just now anyway).

So, come on Cold.....  bring it.    I can handle you.   I'll just go to Florida.   It must be high 70's there.  !

Why is it in America we use Fahrenheit and just about everywhere else they use Celsius.  So, when we say it's 35 deg F here, alot of the world would say it is 1.7 deg C.   Whereas, 32 deg F is equal to 0 deg C.

Either way ----  IT'S COLD!   Ha.

May you see things more than one way today; perhaps, even choose to see something differently just because it feels better to do so.

                                              Marriott Resort & Spa, Singer Island, Florida

So

I have my wish of having a place back down in Florida (southeast United States)  for the winter months!  I am so blessed, lucky and fortunate to be able to find refuge in what I call Paradise for this winter.   I'll be away from the cold, harsh winter.  I know some people love the cold winter months; some it doesn't affect either way.  However, it depresses and hurts me.  I have a hard time with no sunshine for days and the cold temperatures freeze me to my bone.

So, I am very grateful to know that I will be comfortable these winter months in Florida.

And, with this comes new challenges.  Be careful what you wish for is what comes to mind now.  Moving all the furniture from storage to the new apartment.  I love the decorating part and organizing part.  I hear myself telling myself that I am not 40 like the last time I did this.  My health has decreased significantly.  My strength even moreso.  I will walk my two little dogs instead of just being able to go out back with them.  Leaving my loved ones will be very hard.  I'll take them in my heart.   Leaving the comfort of my beautiful home here; my fish and my birds.  Yet, I still know gratitude because I know I belong in Florida.  I've known this since I was 19.

I didn't realize what a gift I was giving to my mind, body and spirit by exercising.  (how did I get here... the mind is a strange and complex entity)  The ability to easily pick up and move things; the strength even in my gait alone.  A stronger mind comes with a strong body.  I know this and, yet, I do not regularly do strength training or cardio work.  I do very little everyday.   I do something everyday, mostly stretching because it feels so good; my body hurts when I do not do it.  I move around the house alot doing this and that, but I do not dedicate time to 'move'. 

Maybe being in Florida, with much less responsibility and privacy, I will do it.  I hope so.  I know just hoping won't make it happen, however, I'm going to accept this thinking as a start.

The fish in the pond are getting ready to 'sleep' for the winter.  I feed them every so many days now.  They already, at times, look frozen in the clear water.  What a miracle this 'natural state' is to watch.  It amazes me every year; their 'hibernation'.  Pretty much how I allow my reaction to the cold amaze me....

------------

I feel like I am not coming from the deepest part of myself.  I feel hesitant and uncertain as to what to write; almost fearful and watchful of what I'm typing.  This is new for me.  From the beginning of finding myself here, I'd just let my fingers rip across the keyboard telling whatever story that is inside of me; in the very way that it was inside of me.

I'm losing this some.  Perhaps, all the work I have done leading me here, I've 'caught up' with.  I've told my story that has been inside of me willing to come out.   I am onto my new story that hasn't been created yet.  How different and how exciting!  Perhaps, I've accomplished what I've come here to accomplish.  WOWZA.

Only time will tell.

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May you continue to dig deep within and allow whatever is inside of you freedom to live. 

I care.  You matter. 

Darkness vs. Light

"It's not about getting rid of the darkness; it's about bringing the light in."  Debbie Ford from Super Soul Sunday on OWN

May you always realize light in any darkness.

Words

I received a text today.  I wanted to share, with writer's permission.

"I'm learning how to face things head on..i have a long road ahead..n its ok..i just need to be honest to myself."

I think this is a great group of words! 

May you know your own words and see your truth in this moment.

                                                               A visitor

Hand

"It doesn't take a man to fight.  It takes a man to reach out a hand."  From the movie "The Grace Card"

Joke:  What did Ringo Starr say when he was falling off a cliff?         I want to hold your hand.   Mmmmm

May you easily extend your hand or grab onto a hand today.

Breathing

I'm breathing a bit heavy this morning.  It's 42 deg F and it's close to winter!  My body is achy and I'm okay.  I have appointments today with a therapist and a dermatologist.  I am having fun now.  Oh my!

I am grateful that I have somewhere to go for help.  I am grateful I can take myself there.  I am grateful that it is a choice.

Yes, I'm breathing heavy, however, breathing is good. 

May you notice your breathing today.  May you be grateful for it.

Temperature Risin

I just had a telephone conversation.  I was talking to a dear friend and she mentioned that an Allergist had once told her that she was allergic to temperature change.  WOWZA

I know that I am very sensitive to a one degree change in my home.  I can feel the change.   I know it takes me very long to acclimate to new seasons and when the weather fluctuates 30 degrees in one day, I go for a not-so-pleasant roller coaster ride each and every time.

BUT, What!!!!?  An allergy to temperature change.   May just be brilliant.  So, I went to google and typed in allergic to temperature change and sure enough - there it was!  So, I have more research to do!  Yippee!

So, just perhaps, I am more 'normal' than I thought.  I'm not as crazy as I once thought.  I don't have to concern myself every year if this knowing is in my head or my body.  This knowing that I feel achy and off.   This knowing that I hurt and know discomfort when it gets much cooler.  This knowing that I swell and suffer (strong word, however, true).  I don't have to question how is this possible that every winter, I change.  Every spring, I came alive.  Ms Sensitive, I suppose I am.  This, coming from a person who said she was not sensitive at all; once upon a time.

May you know your truth and even better, accept it and not question it.  If you feel it, it's real for you, yes?

Yes, I believe, if you feel it, it's there for a reason.  May you embrace it, accept it and move on, through it or around it.

                                            "Big Ass Fan" - True Name and appropriate!  Ha.

Today

It's another very dark, solemn day outside.  54 deg.  Everything sits in saturation from the rain.  There is quite a heaviness about it all.  The pond fish are starting to swim slower and eating with less vigor.  The orange, white and black colors floating easily on top of the water are very pretty.  The waterfalls, with so much water around and outside of the ponds, almost seem non-existent.  It's quite the wary kind of day to me.

I have found an apartment in Florida for the winter.   I am very happy about this.  There is great excitement inside of myself.  I'm sort of wondering when I'm going to let this excitement come out...  "Too soon', I tell myself.  I'm not sure why.  Mmmmm

I have sent my resume and also a follow-up request to a rehab center very close to my home.  I'm feeling like I would love to try to help others find a new road; a better road for themselves.  I'd be honored to help others to breathe, know and be their truest of selves.  A part of me thinks that my resume is bogus and another part of me knows that it's perhaps the most authentic resume I've ever created.

I'm finding myself getting 'work' done on myself.  Things as simple as pedicures to having the 'dermatological spa' zap away some red spots on my face.  I especially allow myself to be bothered with the red dot on the tip of my nose.  Ha.

So, as change is occurring in and around me, I still feel like a seat belt would be a good idea!  I also want to believe and see the part of our world that is caring, creating and being with each other in an united stance.  I stand strong and when I do not; my wish is to allow others to stand for me; as I wish to stand for others.

May you stand for or because of another today.

Living/Owning What Is

I'm so learning something of valuable importance.  In fact, it's so important to me, I choke on it; I stumble and I freeze up.

I hear people asking me hard questions.  They certainly feel hard to me.  I watch, see and feel myself freeze up; not wanting to go there.  Fearful of people's reactions/responses.  Frustration that 'they' do not know or that 'they' can't just trust me.  "They" are questioning me why....

I even don't want to type this.  I don't want to think about this.  It's hard to go here for me.

Anyhoo....

I find that when I breathe and choose not to freeze up; to to go through the frustration; choose to accept the question for just being a question.... I find that when I answer it and share my utmost truth of whatever I'm feeling, thinking, answering.... on the other side of this..... IS PEACE.    Whew!  Got through it!  lol, but seriously.

When I'm asked to explain why I feel a certain way; asked how 'they' can do it differently to make it easier on me; asked if I wouldn't mind doing it a new way.....   Well, if I can choose that today is a different day and just go with IT; goodness, comfort and love prevail.

There is a childish feeling present with these questions.  There is a thought if they love me, they 'should' know.  There is a hesitation that it feels too hard to have to relearn a better way.  BUT, again, if I just go with it - calmness, love, joy and togetherness win out.

What do 'they' say about definition of insanity.  It's about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

Well, for me, it's time to do it differently and experience a different outcome.  Oh, what fun.  Oh, what work.  Oh, what transformation is awaiting on the other side of doing it differently.

May you get to your other side of doing it differently and know calmness, lightness, joy, togetherness and healing.  May you get it going on! 

                                                  Photographer Unknown

Where I'm At

It's fall here in Northeast Pennsylvania, USA, again.  The leaves are changing colors and falling from the trees.  The sky is blue and the air is cool.  Daylight hours are less and less as we proceed towards winter months.

My life is very different.  I have two dogs instead of four.  (Interesting how this would come first.)  I am very aware of my surroundings.  I'm slower and less chaotic.  I'm fuller and less heavy.  I'm quieter and more peaceful.  I laugh just as easily as I cry. 

I have great faith and optimism of today and tomorrow.  I am weak physically compared to where I was.  I am stronger as my whole self portraying who and what I truly am.

I always used to say when I was single that I'm going to enjoy this single-ness while I can.  I can be who I am, where I want to be, who I want to be with, doing what I want, whenever I want; I have no one to answer to or that depends on me.   I enjoyed my single-ness to the extreme.  I am grateful I did this.

When I married and had a child, I gave up my single-ness willingly.  I would no longer do what I want, with who I want, how I want and when I want.  It was a lot of change then.

Now, as my child turns 18 and I come out from my inward journey, I realize that I am the only one leading my way.  My thoughts are what provoke me.  My power has always been mine.  It was a matter of whether I chose to own it or give it away.

So, as I proceed into this next chapter of my life, I choose (I hope) to own my power and share my true self with everyone I encounter.  I wish to walk open hearted and embrace what is.  I choose to accept what is and easily and lovingly encourage change that may be better for my world and others. 

I have fear, I have uncertainty, I have struggles.....   and I am what I am and I honor who you are. 

May we all move forward with open hearts with the belief that we are all here on this earth, at this time together, to create a harmonious world.

  Wouldn't it be great if we knew more joy in our heart than anything...  Just sayin.

Hello

I just got back from a quick trip to S. Florida, USA.  It was very enjoyable and we gathered a lot of information about real estate and location.

It was a whirlwind and so much fun.  Our goal was to see what was available to lease in an area where horses, colleges and my love of the ocean could be pinpointed or centered around.  We achieved the goal.   Now, what to do with all the information is the question.

Coming home to a Durby-less home was very hard, lonely and unsettling.  He was around me for 13 years and I'll miss him and his energy and the love he shared readily for a long time.  I am honored to have had him as my dog.  Lucky, lucky me.  Thank you God.

I want to share that life is simpler; easier.  I am no longer worried about his ability or lack thereof to stand and make it outside.  I'm not worried that he is going to hurt himself or need me.  I am not worried if his bark is something more than just a bark.  I am grateful to know this.   I am grateful that with really tough situations, if I look (sometimes much harder and deeper than other times), I can usually see and experience good, loving things as well.  Such is what our living can be made up of.  Many different aspects, emotions, levels and outcomes.

So, as I go forward without my Durby, I experience great loss, yet, gratitude and love still abounds.

May you be able to see and feel love and support through all the times of hardship that may come your way.