Need

Do we need to let go of the old to allow the new?  I'm, once again, clearing things out.  Getting rid of stuff I haven't used in several years; maybe decades.

Florida moving sparked something in me to let go of what I do not use anymore and have kept just because it's already here in my life.

I no longer want to keep what is present in my life if I no longer use it.  I give myself permission to let go, open up and get ready to accept the new.

Woo hoo.   This could be just so much fun.   Putting Karma out and create new doors, avenues and roads to travel through and on.

Making an exchange, whether energetically or physically, and feeling the power of this.

May you let go of what you haven't used in a long time which makes it completely part of your past.  Be aware and, just maybe, it's time to present this old stuff out into the world so you can be present for the 'you of today'.  Perhaps, by letting go physically and/or emotionally of old 'stuff', you can open up more easily to things that are new and that will help you to become everything you are meant to become moving forward.

Looks

I'm changing up the outside of me to now match the inside.  Mmmm  Could be quite interesting for me! 

My hair is shorter and blonder; I went to the dermatologist to get the red dots on my face zapped one more time in hope of ridding myself of these completely.  I'm dressing up a wee bit more (instead of just comfy sweats).  I find myself wearing my beautiful jewelry more.  Perhaps, it's time to create the image of who I truly am from the inside out.

I'm feeling like I'm in an unknown territory of creating a look.  I find it fun, exciting, interesting, and not easy to talk about. 

My fingers are still stumps; the sores and pain are less again!!!!!!  This is most awesome news of all!!!!!!

It's very cold out and it is not hurting me like it has in the past.  I'm not free and clear.  I'm not a prisoner within my own constraints like, perhaps, I once was.

The Christmas tree is slowly coming to life inside my home in Pennsylvania and I get so excited and happy seeing the lights twinkle on the tree.  The animals love to lay underneath it.  As I sit here at my computer in my "Christmas Tree Room", I feel the peace and the spirit of the Christmas holiday.  Peace among man, woman and child.

So, as I'm 'shaping up' some and finding a new and improved (I hope) look, I'm allowing my open heart to lead me in the direction of my own voice.  How very cool this is!!!!!!

May you let your own inner voice lead you to your sassy, happy, and open self.  Or whatever descriptive words you feel are correct for you today.  Let them come through you.

Do You - Simple as this; Hard as this........Hmmmm

Worth a Repeat

I'd like to offer -

What if all we had to do was bring our innermost selves out in the world; the totality of who are we; by just being ourselves, being you -  sharing all of who we are with our world and supporting each other in doing just this...

Just what if we all did this totally and honestly; that THIS alone would bring us the peace, connection, love, joy and ease of living in our new world.

What if this would bring each one of us exactly what we feel we are missing.  What if it would close our 'wanting or needing' place inside of ourselves. 

Hoot, right?

I say, let's give it a go......

May you bring your innermost self (all of you in whatever moments arise) forefront with everything you do today. 

I'm knowing it will be a 'hoot' - a real joyful day once we get over the fear and use our own bravery to do so.

I believe.  Do you......

             Little Bear ready to go to Florida.  She is bringing herself out into the world, just as she is.

Interesting, that because she is black, she doesn't come up bright in this picture.  We need to let go of our black fear so we can brighten the picture of our own life.  JUST ALLOW AND PERMIT ALL OF YOU AND SHARE THIS YOU WITH YOUR WORLD.  Yikes.

Can we not only say vulnerable - Do vulnerable.  Triple Yikes. 

Permission

I want to give myself permission to be okay and at peace with who, what and where I'm at today.  I want to totally believe that I'm where I need to be to continue down my very unique path of this human experience that is for me only.  I want to believe that if I follow this unique path that is mine, others will benefit also.  Now this would be SICK, COOL and AWESOME.

Today, my head is telling me that I want to be at my daughter's horse show that is only two miles away in 36 deg F temperature.  My inner knowing is telling me I will hurt if I do what my head is telling me to do.  I know that I hurt because I want to see my daughter ride.  It is poetry in motion to me.  It is a gift for me.  My innate knowing knows that it is not good for me to stand in 36 deg weather.  My heart is sad and my head is telling me to feel guilt.  My innate knowing knows the best possible answer. 

So, what I want to do is trust that I cannot do it comfortably so it is not for me to do.  The human in me wants to resist this innate knowing - or is it merely my human brain that is creating this.  Whatever this resistance is, I want it to stop. 

I want to allow myself to sleep when tired; eat when hungry; cry when sad and laugh when tickled as much as possible.  I want to be able to give others what I can truly give them and it be perfect for them and their path too.

May you give yourself permission to have what you need with the belief that this is YOUR unique path for your human experience and if followed, most beneficial to all.

 

DOUBLE YIKES

I don't know if it's because of who I am; what I do; what I love or why I'm here....  I am seeing such a force upon each and mostly everyone of us that we are finding ourselves looking in the mirror and saying "Double Yikes"! 

God, the universe, whatever you want to call this power greater than ourselves (our life force) is no longer fun or funny in many regards. (I honor your beliefs.)  We are in a serious business of co-creating a new world vibration and having to face our own demons seems to be the very best way through this.  Notice I did not say easiest.   I truly believe it's the hardest, one of the most crucial times of humankind.

BUCKLE UP is what comes up for me now.

Double; triple, quintuple YIKES -- Buckle up -- and Live on through your truth.

We have this.  Together, we have this as our own individualization shouts upward and out.  Your truth may just set me free.  Ha.

Whatever you are most afraid of just now - perhaps, NOW is the TIME TO FACE IT HEAD ON.  You have everything you need to live the path you are supposed to live.  YOU are the path that you are supposed to go down and share all of yourself with us. 

Iyanla Vanzant said on her show on the OWN network (by the way is the most HUMAN network we have and it truly rocks in my eyes)  - We think what crazy we live in is better than the crazy we don't know anything about. -  When I told my friend this, she questioned if this meant that there are crazier people out there.  What I get from this is -- the crazy life that we lead is more settling in our mind than going and finding a new way --  we know this life at least.  Sometimes just the familiarity of our life wins over the unknown and we stay stuck.

We can no longer stay stuck.  It's not working for most of us.  Unstucking ourselves isn't easily done! 

So as you look in the mirror - know that the person you are seeing is a lovable human being.  Perhaps, not everything we've done is lovable but we are lovable.  You are lovable.  You matter.  You count just because you are here now. 

We've done the best we know how.  We are learning better now and it's time to put this learning into effect.  Please be gentle on yourself as you do this.  Be kind to others and know they are doing the best they can with what and who they are.

We will succeed - 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed!  (what, am I Dr. Seuss now!)  "Oh the Places You'll Go" (great book)

May you see, feel and live the truth of all that you are.  What if, just, what if, all we had to do was share our innermost selves and share what we are most afraid to share and everything would fall into place... wouldn't that be a hoot?

 

Have the Bug

I'm walking around Shambala (my home) and gathering stuff for donating.  I guess I caught the bug in Florida.  It felt good to let go of 'stuff' by telling myself that someone could use it more or better than I.

So, this Sunday morning, I'm walking around really looking at my home realizing what I've collected over the years.

I have many stuffed animals that are my daughter's.  Children would love them.  I would love children to have them; especially at Christmastime.  I want to get my daughter's approval on these.  I have juicers, blenders and choppers that are way outdated.  I have candles and knick knacks that only collect dust.   It's time to pass these on.  I'm contemplating selling some things that are big items and worth some money such as a gym set.  I'm contemplating letting go of some things that have a connection to my heart.  It's a perfect time to let go of Christmas decorations and items that I no longer need or use.  I feel this is putting good karma out into our world.  Good karma is good.  Mmmmm

As I live my day to day life, I'm surrounded by things that at one time were used daily.  With life ever changing, there are many things that I can let go of now if I let myself.  I think by letting go, perhaps, I can open up and receive new.

May you let go of 'things' that no longer serve you and be open to receive the things that will serve you today.  May your 'old' be passed on as someone's 'happiness'. 

As I write this, I think of energy.  I'd like to let go of old useless energy; emotions that I hold onto out of habit but that hurt me.   Allow this useless energy out into the world.  This energy could be grabbed by someone who can use it as good.  

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."  Anonymous

I'm reminded of a time when I was on the massage table and I was releasing painful memories/emotions.  I told the therapist that I didn't want anyone else to have to touch this negative energy.  I wasn't sure I wanted to let it go because I didn't want it to hurt anyone else.  She brightly stated that it's just energy.  Once I release it from myself - it goes out into the universe as 'just energy'.  I'm the one that used it negatively.  Someone else may just grab onto it and use it positively.  This resonated with me.  It felt true on me. 

May you grab onto the perfect energy that you need for you to move forward now.  It's out there.  It's on you.  Just believe.

Heat

The heat is on in my house.  Hip hip hooray!  The boiler itself needed repair so this is why all the heating systems were off.

I feel much better with heat surrounding my body.

Outside it is a blustery wintry day.  The night sky has a bright moon with soft clouds enveloping it.  The clouds traveling with the wind (or so it looks) as they pass by the moon.  It feels quite mysterious and wonderful.  Just like a 'breath of fresh air'. 

There are many mysteries in life just now it feels.  The mystery of self and truth; image and truth.  I heard Iyanla VanZant say it's time to let go of our image and live our truth.  I thought this was good insight and a thought provoking statement.

What image have I created for myself...   I think I gave up an image of myself these last two years.  I feel like I'm creating a new image moving forward.

Do I need an image...  Can I just be me...  Is being me an image...  Very thought provoking indeed.

May you wonder whether image is an illusion or truth.  May you ponder and uncover, perhaps, a mystery that will allow you to BE YOU.  May you be getting closer and closer to your innate knowing being the center of the gift I call YOU as you share yourself within our world.

Travel

 

May you be wherever your travels take you.

 

Wherever you go, there you are.

 

Is your mind where your body is right now - or is your mind separate from where your body is at

 

May you allow your thoughts to be with what you are doing, where you are at, and fully present to each situation. 

 

Good luck with this!

 

So Much

I'm traveling to Florida this coming week, buying a new car, getting new tags for my old car so my daughter can use it, still waiting on word from a bid on a Florida house and it's the end of the school year and a lot more horse shows are lined up for the summer.

All this, and take care of this house, all the animals and moving through all of this with my great health, or lack thereof.

Wowee.  I'm tired and overwhelmed just thinking about it!

One at a time; be in the now; moment to moment.

I have learned that thinking about it is usually much worse then just doing it.  I've spent many hours thinking and dreading about certain chores.  Then I get to the chore and learn that the thinking about same was much harder on me then the actual doing of the chore.

So, I'll try to stay with this 'knowing' and breeze right on through it all.   (yeah, right!)

May U breeze through the one thing that has been on Ur mind the most today and know that "U got it"!

You have it covered because that's just how YOU roll!  Ha.

 

Post Drafted May 2011

Cicadas

I hear the Cicadas are in the Southern part of the United States now.  Last year they were here, in the NE. 

Cicadas help to remind us to listen to our inner voices.  I sure hope the Southerners, if they choose, wake up more than ever to their inner voices and follow, create and build their lives in a way that makes them most happy.

I hope we all do this.  It's time.

May you know what you want and know that you are allowed to have it.  You were born to have what you want.  We all were.

I believe if we 'want' through love, compassion and heart (inner knowing), we'd have what we want...

Drafted 5/11

Hermit Crab

I just took a hanger and helped a crab at the bottom of my fish tank because he was holding on for dear life and trying to turn over his 'home'.  It wouldn't budge.

I got it to turn over and I watched him and it looked like he was clapping.   I really need to get a life!

Drafted May 2012

Do an Einstein

The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will; yet when a solution comes to you, you don't know how or why...

Albert Einstein

May you let your intuition lead your way along with the use of your brain.  Perhaps, this is why we have both!  Mmmmm

Drafted May 2012

 

Had A Trip

I had quite a trip this morning.  It was pouring (teeming, really) down rain and there was a back up of water ready to come into my home.  The pump was not working.

My sister and I were out there with buckets, drenched and trying to beat the rain buildup.   I went to the shed to get the back-up water pump and BOOM, down I went on the ramp, back flat on the ground and then BANG, went my head slamming backwards hard and I saw light.  It shook me up.  It shook my sister up.  It shook my animals up.

I got up and completed the job with the help of my darling sister and then I broke down and cried. 

It was quite the morning for me.    I am a little out of it, I wonder why I am being so messed with and I'm trying to accept what is thrown at me (even my whole being being thrown) lately. 

I am dazed.  I am shaken.  I am ready to change things up; go a different direction and ........

Yesterday, when my elbow was swollen, in the Louise Hay "You Can Heal Yourself" book

Elbow means "Probable Cause:  Represents changing directions and accepting new experiences."  "New Thought Pattern:  I easily flow with new experiences, new directions, and new changes."

Maybe we connect deeper to ourselves when we get dazed and shaken.

May you be open to connect deeper to yourself before the need to get dazed and shaken.

Drafted back in May 2012; I only had to add the Lousie Hay Elbow meaning today.....  I'm seeing a pattern here!

My Truth

I'm not always sure who I am just now.  I have worked so hard; explored so much; and changed things up so drastically in my head that I don't recognize myself!  Of course, there is a part of me that still is connected to the 'core' of who I am. 

I feel a bit crazy as I even try to put words to this....

Transition is possible for anyone.  Transition happens sometimes whether we participate or not.

May you participate in the transitioning of who you are today to who you will be tomorrow. 

(another previously found draft that was completed just now)

Wowza

Life moves forward and I can choose to stay stuck or move forward also.  I decided over two years ago to stop almost everything I know and set out on a journey to the innermost part of myself.

This part of the journey is over for me.  I shared this journey when I started this blog.

I am moving onward from this journey.  I hope to take all that I learned and experienced with me.

May you move onward and take what and who you truly are with you.

Another draft started previously and finished today.

How to Write it Out

Someone asked me the other day how and why people say that God is responsible for what they do or say.  "God wants them to do this.  It's God showing me the way.  God is whispering in my ear."  This person said they did not understand this and that it threw them off.

I was WOWED by this question.  It made me think and gave me thought.

What I came up with, for me, is that when I type my posts, I don't really let my mind do the work/the typing/the thinking.  Now, of course, it is me typing and my brain is enabling me to do so.  However, I almost feel like I JUST AM and I am just as surprised by some of the things I type as a person that would be sitting here watching me type.  To me, this is my God, working through me.   It's like an innate knowing that I don't have to plan, do not do much editing at all and I just start off with a thought and end up at the end of the post.  It's my inner voice; my inner knowing; my inner being.

Maybe some would say craziness.  Part of me does.
Maybe some would say ditziness.  part of me does.
Maybe some would say wacko.  Yes, me too.
Maybe some would say impossible.  No, this doesn't feel right on me.

So, if you ever find yourself just being and doing and feeling just SPOT ON.... Is this your God, is this your connection to your higher self, is this your creator showing you the way, or is it just because that's the way it is.

I'm sure we each call this 'I JUST AM'  different things and connect to it differently, if we choose to connect at all.  However, I believe when I hear people saying that "God is showing me the way; or I'm working through God or God's working through me", I think it's when I feel so spot on, so unquestionably me; that this is me being connected to the highest me.  This is me connecting to my God and my everything.  I believe this connection (however one chooses to get to it) is the connection that is a part of each one of us.   Where we all come from....  whatever/whoever/however this happens.  

We all have the same thing within.  This innate-ness.   

So, I told this person - I think when people say this - there is nothing more real for them and many know 'this' as God.  It can be the Universe, Budda, the Torah, any religion or belief that connects you to the truest of you.

May you connect to the truest part of yourself today and here on out.

Again, a post that was drafted on 9/12.

Torn

I love my home here in Pennsylvania.  It has everything I need and so much more.  My comfort is complete here.  Except with the cold weather that Pennsylvania gets.

I started typing if I could just move this house down to Florida, then I'd have it all.  I know this is not possible.

So, do I take the comfort of Mother Nature or do I take the comfort of a man-made home. 

Sometimes, we cannot have it all.   However, we can always have something.

Which is your something that you choose today.  Grab it and enjoy!

(I found this today as a draft that I started writing a bit ago.  I went with it now. .. for what it's worth)  Perhaps, with my Pennsylvania home not being comfortable to me because the lack of heat, is the Universe or God trying to tell me something.  Mmmmmm

Ugh and Double Ugh

I am home in Pennsylvania and it was 28 deg F last night.  My heat in all of my house seems to be off; not working at all.  The warmest section of the house is 65 deg.  I can kinda sorta handle that.  It is 64 in my family room and only 59 in my living room.  YIKES.

After being in Florida at an average 75 deg F temperature; then coming home to this....  My system has taken a hit.  The cold is shutting me down.  I have developed one ulcer on my pinky and both my thumbs are sore.  I was very happy with all the work I was able to accomplish with my hands while down in Florida opening boxes, moving furniture....

Perhaps, this is time to pay for it.

I am very sad and disheartened that this is my truth.  I could go very low if I allowed myself.  I never wanted to report that an ulcer has developed on a finger ever again.  I believed I was done with them.  It saddens me greatly that the truth is different than what I want.

However, I'm trying to embrace it; be aware of it, alert to it and go with it.  So, while my head is telling me that, as I lay in bed deep under the covers to keep warm and calm the pain, everyone else is moving around and living and doing.  Of course, with all I have studied, learned and experienced, I know this is not really the total truth.  Yes, some people are fortunate enough to be doing and living and going.  However, to say 'everyone' is... this is not the truth of the world.

Many of us (most even) have something big right now that we would rather not have to face or confront or just admit to ourselves some truth of what is in our life.  Many of us are more aware and being forced to face things that, perhaps, we have not been able/willing to do before.  What comes to mind is 'time for pretense is over'.  This is a big powerful statement.  I believe it is the truth for many.

With everything I am, I believe this is a good thing.  Not an easy thing - an extremely hard thing - but a good thing. 

As I am, once again, affected negatively by the cold, I continue on.  I continue forward.  I may be slow; I may be aching, I may be a bit miserable (ha); and I move on.

I trust that I will be okay and this is the plan for my life.  I believe this because I tell myself that this is my life currently, so it must be the plan.

I am looking forward to seeing what comes next.

May you embrace your truth.  Perhaps, what you least want to face, is what would be most beneficial for you to face.   I'm just sayin....

May you go where you do not want to go....AND, may you be greatly rewarded for it and the people in your life affected positively by it.

Happy Thanksgiving 2012

Happy Thanksgiving to all that celebrate this day of feasting, thankfulness, gratitude and togetherness.  I'm thankful for an organic, free range turkey.  I'm thankful for the people that love me and support me.  I'm thankful for animals and nature.  I'm thankful for sunshine and peace.  I'm thankful for knowing contentment and love.

May you connect to your thankfulness today; pure and simple.

              Next year, I want to be able to be thankful for good health.  I have this on my bureau.  Get it?  A rabbit multiplies quickly!  lol.  Have to wish for it consciously to be able to make it happen.  Ha. 

Darker and Darker

As the days get shorter and shorter here in the northeast of USA, dark sets in earlier and earlier every night.  December 21 is the shortest amount of daylight each year here.  Daytime peaks lowest here and days get lighter longer and longer.

So, as we move into the darkest of days, may our hearts move into the most open of possibilities.

There is much unknown just now.  There is much awareness being sought after just now.  There is much change upon us.  There is much growth to be had.  There is much togetherness to be learned.

My sensitive self feels it all.  My sensitive self is bombarded with possibilities and struggles of the day.  I'm hoping to choose my best self in each moment moving forward.   I'm hoping to meet your best self in each moment.

It's okay where we are.  It's okay where we've been.  It's okay to not know everything.  It's okay.

Now is the time to do our best.  The time for pretense, fear and self-defeating thoughts are over.

Many I talk to are frequented with self-doubt and fear.  Many I know have everything they need to move forward.   Many I know are blessed with so many things.  Many I know are allowing their self-awareness to lead their way. 

So with your awareness, light and even your dark side --   May you be okay with it as you grow into the YOU you are meant to shine bright as you live each day. 

May you know simplicity and ease in these trying times.  May you grasp what is right in front of you and know it's there for a reason.

Together we can create a world that we want to wake up to everyday and participate in fully.

I say these words because words of where I am are not forthcoming.  I only know that I am.

Somedays I am simply just too weird for myself even!  Ha.

May no matter where you are; what you feel, how you perceive yourself - let it be okay as you re-evaluate, create and connect to, learn and live the ultimate you. 

 

Paperwork

I'm home doing paperwork, paying bills, writing correspondence, scheduling appointments.  I am thankful my husband is preparing the holiday meal every step of the way and he does it fabulously!  I am very lucky indeed.

I'm pushing myself through yet.  It's great being home with my family and dogs.  I have one cat left.  My animals are dwindling.  I think they were not supposed to come to Florida with me this time.  This apartment surely wouldn't be as comfortable as the house was.  God works in mysterious, wonderful ways.  I trust HE is still carrying me and pushing me forward.  I want to live in the direction of peace, harmony, good and togetherness as much as I possibly can each and every day.

The cold here (32 deg F) with frost on the ground is beating me up a bit.  I have many layers of clothes on and my body is achy.  My fingers are still decent.  I'm able to use them a lot and I am very grateful for this.  I'm trying to listen to my body's need to rest when it is telling me to do so.  Sometimes I ask it for a little more time...  Ha!  Mostly, I am listening.

May you listen to your body's needs and give it what it requests as frequently and lovingly as possible.

My wish is that we get more and more thankful for ourselves and have gratefulness and joy in our hearts that we do not have to do much at all to breathe and let live. 

Your body is an amazing entity - may you treat it as such......

Karma

I had a lot of 'stuff' that would not fit into a smaller apartment coming from a larger house.  As I went through the boxes and opened the bags, I realized I had to let go of many things I love and have used over the years.  I had to let go of things that I had in storage thinking that one day I would be lucky enough to use them or enjoy them again.

This was not my truth as I unraveled everything that came off of the mover's truck.  I had no space and no use for them where I know I will be spending parts of this upcoming year.

So, I packed much back up and called up the Vietnam Vets Association and they kindly picked everything up and I envisioned happy faces and knew that the stuff that I enjoyed in the past would get into the right hands of another and bring them joy.  I kept telling myself that I am putting great karma out in the world and this was the perfect time and my time to do so.  Yes, there were some of my cells that were fighting this and calling myself names like dumb and stupid and crazy; however, the larger part of myself knew that this karma was just what I needed and just what may be good for the world.

I also put out some wonderful Christmas decorations knowing that someone will have a better Christmas because of me letting go.  This was empowering and fulfilling.  Giving joy to others is a gift for everyone involved.

May you give joy to others today and may your world become a brighter place because of it.

Back in Pennsylvania, USA

I'm back in Pennsylvania.  BRRRRR   Cold.  Feels raw and cold.  I awoke to an inflamed body and uncomfortable cold.  Crazy, the difference that it makes on me.  And, again, my mind goes to -- It has been this way for almost as long as I can remember, perhaps, I can label it something besides 'crazy'!

It is dark and dreary.  The outside life is quiet and going more and more into its deep sleep.  The leaves are all down for the most part; few squirrels are running around and the fish are mostly stationary in their deep water. 

We are putting the Christmas lights up and I love Christmas time.  I love sharing and cheering and the reminder that there are so many people that care about each other.  I love the lights shining in the calm, subtle air.  The cheeriness, the movement and even the snow always excited me at this time of year.  I remember being in Florida a few times during Christmas and I mostly remember a dolphin with a red nose pulling Santa's sleigh.  I'll always think that different and cool!

With all the transitioning going on in my life, I am aware that it is Thanksgiving time here for the USA and, yet, my mind isn't focused there just yet.  I know it's a time to be thankful and I am surely thankful for my life and all the glory and love that is in it.

So, as I transition into this next chapter -- As I am taking action to create my new world, I am lost.  Ha!  I am lost only because, for me, transitioning is unsettling.  Uprooted, if you will.  It is also a very exciting time of all possibilities.  I like this.  I like exploring all options and even creating some new ones.  I like feeling my way and knowing that no matter what, I'll be okay because that's how I roll.

May you know that no matter what, you will be okay because after all you've been through, you are still standing strong, holding on, flying high and/or finding your way to YOU. 

May you be thankful for all that you are and all that you have.

                                                              Marriott lobby

Walk Through

I know I am walking through a lot of change and many energies around me are daunting.  I will walk through.

I'm hoping you will walk through to YOU as well (if you are not already there)!

Many challenges, much information and a lot of change surrounds us.  I want to head in the direction of each one of our truth to who and what and where we are and find common ground to help each other; lift each other up and support each other on our journeys.

May you continue your walk through to YOU.  Know that God; the universe; something greater than yourself is at work here.

Believe in YOU.  Believe that everything we need; we already have -- we just need to open to it.  Believe.  I do.

Sunday Night

WOWZA.  It's been a truly long, nightmarish week with the movers down in Florida USA.  Some stuff was delivered perfectly, some didn't fit in my smaller apartment, some stuff was damaged, some stuff didn't show up at all, some was taken back to storage and when I asked to bring back - woof, it disappeared.  I feel discouraged about some of the human race because of this.

There were other incidents that are tiring to me to put into words, but in the end, there was one person that came and gave me my faith back in the human race.  He did everything perfect as he delivered a third mattress.  The previous deliveries were very uncomfortable as well.  However, this man had me shaking his hand and tearing up; thanking him for his caring, concern and professionalism.  I don't know if the movers I came in contact with are aliens or just lost souls.  I'm thinking the latter and I'm not 100% convinced.  Ha.

So, as I deal with what is with where I'm at, I have achieved my goal of having a home in southern Florida once again.  I am in.  I am set up.   I'm ready to live.

I go home to Pennsylvania tomorrow.

I will be back here after the holidays to spend the winter.  The weather has been my kind of weather.  Mostly in the 70's F.  It sure makes life easier and more enjoyable for me.  To be able to take the trash out to the dumpster (yikes - I'm in an apartment again); and, when it comes time.... to be able to take the dogs out without pain or a big heavy coat in the dead of winter is going to be pretty wonderful for me.  The weather here stays this way all winter for the most part.  Up north in Pennsylvania it can go down to 0 degrees Fahrenheit.  Yikes.  That's not for me.  Good for you people that like it!   I wish you great chills.  Ha.

So, as I wind down from very hard work moving into a 2 bedroom/den apartment from a 4 bedroom home - As I wind down from the trials of the moving company -- As I wind down from opening and tearing down what felt like 100 boxes - As I wind down from the thrill of seeing many of my things that give me joy ---  I say - Whew, I'm glad that's over with!

May you walk through and know the feeling of  - whew, I'm glad that's over with...

United Human Race

I asked my daughter to send me the name of my shampoo and she sent me this picture.  Expand and Unite....

As we expand as individuals, may we unite as a human race.   Mmmmmm

Still Here

I'm still here in Florida, USA, putting my apartment together as best I can with what I have and the time I have.  I'm finding my way and it feels so good.  I love walking out my door into a comfortable, beautiful, perfect temperature weather and 'picture'.  I love the palm trees, the fountains shooting up way into the air and coming down with a beautiful sound and much activity.  One never knows where the drops will flow.  The ducks are swimming around playfully enjoying it as well.

There is still much to do and I realized (with the help of a very smart friend)  that I was focusing on this and getting myself in the wrong direction.  Once I started thinking of all I have done and accomplished in such a short time and my gratefulness for being able to do same -- I feel different/better.  I know I'm going in my correct direction.   And, OH, I FEEL GOOD!  Ha.

May you allow the 'drops' to fall where they may and stay on course to what feels good for YOU.

Cockroach

There has been this HUGE cockroach in my new garage every night 'greeting' me.  I saw it on a box and put it out of my garage and it came back in.  Soooooo,

I look up cockroach:

"Who would want a cockroach as their animal totem? Not many, however, the cockroach is a very powerful animal totem to have and even if the cockroach is not your animal totem but just a nasty little visitor coming by to give you a message be thankful.

The cockroach is all about survival and reminds you that no matter what life throws at you, you have all the tools necessary already at hand to survive even the worst that life can throw at you. The cockroach shows you that you have the ability to know when it’s time to scurry out of the way of danger and also how to survive in all circumstances and environments. And if you see that big slipper coming at you in an attempt to flatten you just know that you have what’s necessary to move quickly and change direction in a heart beat.
Cockroaches are symbolic of tenacity and longevity and could symbolize the need for renewal, rejuvenation and self-cleansing of your psychological, emotional, or spiritual being."      written by Sherry Andrea

I'm not sure if I'm correct here; however, my belief is that the cockroach may be in the beetle family.  I went to my favorite book on the subject of spiritual meanings of animals.  And, in his book "Animal-Speak" by Ted Andrews, under 'Beetle' (which by the way, was opened to this page), and it reads:

"If the beetle has shown up in your life examine the need for metamorphosis.  Are you in the process?  If so, what stage?  Do you need a change?  Are you needing new sunshine?  Is it time to resurrect some aspect of your life?  Is it time to leave the past behind?  The beetle can show you how to do this with the greatest success."

May you create the life you want going forward with ease and great success.

                                     SORRY, I DIDN'T TAKE THE TIME TO TAKE A PICTURE!

Movers/Cable/Bedding/Services

I am having a hard time settling into my new place.  I'm having a hard time getting help.  Many are fast-paced, hurry get the job done so I can get onto the next job so I can make money (or so I am hearing and seeing).  Ouch.  Sad.  Driven but not going anywhere.???

I had a 'borrowed' mattress delivered last night because the one promised me before payment was available until after my credit card went through.  My mattress in storage has just disappeared and getting someone to take responsibility for it is not happening.  Cable is hooked up and not working properly. 

My mind is on overload and I'm questioning if being nice is not the way to get things done.  I certainly do not want to believe this.  I hear almost everyone I come in contact with (service wise) say that they never meet people like me.  I'm thinking that perhaps people are pushed over the edge in just getting a mattress to sleep on (so to speak)!

So, as my head spins and my feet walk in circles, I am creating a new living environment as best I can. It's a much bigger challenge than I anticipated; and I anticipated it to be big.

I am trying my very best to just be where I am; accept, learn flexibility, ask for what I need and be open to creating answers. 

This is all I have just now.

May you be open to what you have right now; EMBRACE YOUR TRUTH....(Yikes!)

Very Chaotic

My life is very chaotic.  I'm working on adrenaline.   I know it.  I feel it.  I haven't learned a better way just now.  My hands are swollen.  I continue to accomplish what I believe has to be accomplished so I can live comfortably and fully as possible from my new home in Florida. 

I know it's better for me to do what I can, relax; enjoy and work some more.  I had a helper that was very determined; get the job done and focus on nothing else.  It was great and accomplished a lot; it beat me up some and wasn't entirely my way.

I hope to do better the next time around.  I have this belief that I can enjoy just about anything life offers.  It's the mindset and trying to only come from my own spirit.   I got caught letting my spirit fly elsewhere while I worked around like a madwoman to bang things out.  Boom; Boom; Boom.  Yes, it accomplished a lot.  Yes, I don't know where I am!  hA.

So, it's very possible that Life is not chaotic just now..?   It's the humans that are creating the chaos. ?  I talked to one person today describing the meaning of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.... NOT going to happen.   If I change one thing up in the way I do things, something is certain to change. 

I have a new helper coming tomorrow.  We will see where I go from here.  I AM SO GRATEFUL for the help.  I want to enjoy each moment.  This is my goal.  Get the work done; enjoy it and revel in it (just maybe) even.

May you allow yourself to revel in whatever you are doing today.  Try it, you just may like it.  Certainly do not know unless we try!

Good luck.

Moving

I'm moving all my 'stuff' into my Florida apartment.....    Need I say more?!.....Yikes    (I do not want to make time for the computer... I want to unpack the boxes and see what's in there and get the job done.   Stop accumulating would be my thought for this moment!  I cannot believe all the stuff I saved and packed and have.  Much of it useless.  Much of it is wonderful.  Much of it puts a smile on my face and brings me happy thoughts.  Some of it is ruined.  Some of it has disappeared.  I AM LEARNING A LOT; GROWING A LOT; TRANSFORMATION IS HAPPENING.

I'm out of my box just now again.   Scary and exciting and promotes things, feelings, thoughts I did not know I had. 

I do miss you all...  I will be back.  In the meantime......

May you move forward with your dreams as you allow yourself to step out of your comfort zone.  Yikes!

I believe our world is on a tilt, a new and improved level of the human race is being evolved right in front of my eyes. 

May you choose to be a part of as many solutions as you feel apt to.  I know you can; I believe you want to.  Thank you.

Off to Florida, USA

I'm heading down to Florida to set up residence.  Every cell in my body is excited; my mind is telling me to be afraid and I'm just looking forward to feeling the air. 

My fear comes from leaving my animals.  I definitely have abandonment issues still.  This is reverse abandonment; this fear of leaving my animals.  I have to know that they are left in good hands AND I am not abandoning them.  I will be back and we will all go to sunny Florida for the winter months.

I believe and have great hope that this chapter of my life will be just as exciting as the last AND I hope on such a different  - BE ALIVE - level. 

My awareness is pretty full and alert, so now when I add DOING THINGS and taking, sharing and moving through life, I'm hoping this combination will allow me to be the most ME I can be.

I know I will still feel pain, I will still know sorrow, however, I'm hoping I will be less and less afraid of it.

So, off I go.

May you 'go off' gently and lovingly to be all that you know that you are.

Thinking (oh no)

I'm thinking of where I've been, where I am (feels like middle of mild chaos), and where I'm going.  I feel like I know nothing and am wanting to just go forward; play life out; and see where I end up; WHILE HOLDING ON TO 'SELF'!

I decided to pick a tarot card just because.... this is the one I picked:

"Tarot Wisdom:  You have eloquence and are at the peak of your verbal or artistic expression.  You appreciate the beauty of words and thoughts."

I'll take it!  lol

May you trust that what you are feeling deep down; no matter how scary or wrong your mind is telling you it is - may you get your brave on and FEEL IT, SPEAK IT, LIVE IT, BREATHE IT, SHARE IT, SHOUT IT IF YOU WANT TO.

                                    Morning Full Moon in LaQuinta, California, USA

*Tarot Wisdom from the book "The Alchemical Tarot" by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place.  Thank you.

Krystal, My Cat

Krystal did not make it.  She had cancer in her lungs and could not be saved.  Again, I'm grateful for the wonderful doctor who is willing to help me help my animals heal; and when this is not possible, help them to not suffer.  It is not easy.  There is nothing easy about it.  I do know in my heart, suffering, without any hope is the very least favorite option.

Krystal loved my Durby dog.  She would snuggle and lay next to his warmth on many occasions.  They are now together again.   They were not separated long.  I have to believe it was meant to be.

I feel my body going numb a bit; I'm believing that this is my coping mechanism in allowing what pain I can handle and not allowing what pain I cannot handle just yet. 

My mind goes unbelievably quiet and I can't or don't want to focus on anything really, but my own breath; my two dogs surrounding me and the love they share with me.  I focus on friends and family.  A day like today reminds me what's most important and, to me, this is to love one another.  To share a depth that is so deep, I can know when my animals have had enough.  I can know (or at least believe) that they are as grateful as I to have had the connection we've had.

This connection is what sustains me.  This connection is what I look for in all life.  It is the greatest connection of all - to me.

May you know what your life line is; your greatest connection and go for it with all the gutso you can muster.

Krystal

 

Let it Snow?

Sure feels like snow is on its way.  It feels cold and raw; looks white and still in the sky and air.

I have to sadly admit that my body feels tight and stiff.  I have NO desire to go out.  AND, out I will go.  I want to get some things done and tomorrow is my daughter's 18th birthday.  It's a big one... for her .. and for I!

18 years went by so fast and I have some wonderful, beautiful portraits and memories engraved in my mind, heart and soul.  How lucky I was to have a baby girl be born to me (and my husband) who was so lively, happy, fun and a joy to be around.  She grew into an independent, beautiful, kind young woman.  I stand in awe of her on many occassions and I am grateful for her love and all that she has taught me...  (well, mostly everything she has taught me - ha)

My cat is not feeling good.  She is skinny and not eating.  Something is very wrong.  I have the vet coming back for her today.  I hope she can help my cat; I am uncertain as to which direction this visit will go.  Again, I just do not want my animals to suffer more than they have to.   If she has any chance at all, she is only 10, I will do whatever is in my power to make her life the best I can give her.

Animals; the joy is great.   The hardship is also.

May you always feel the quiet joy of life even as hardships go in and out of your life.

Today

Today's a big day for the United States of America.  We, the people, are voting on a president.  May the universe, God, the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, all-for-all power that is beauty, light and togetherness help this to be a day that will help not only the USA, but all the world, live better, peaceful, and together.

I am very ignorant when it comes to politics.  I do not even understand why there are two sides fighting each other, sometimes massively, to create a world that we can all be ourselves in; while being there for one another.

I pray we all keep open hearts, open minds and allow our own power to be the truest of true and accept all life to be just as powerful and important as the other.

I envision this as our world and am all for it.... all for YOU.

May you BE YOU from your deepest depth of self.

Picnic

We had a picnic the other day.  It was very enjoyable, relaxing, satisfying and entertaining.

I had a visitor.  I let it stay.  It had it's fill and moved on.

May you be open to what is around you; fill yourself up as you move on with your heart open.

                                              Yes, it's a fly....lol
HOW OPEN IS YOUR HEART.....

Head Popping

I feel like my head may just 'pop' today.  I guess it's the fear of the unknown more than anything.  I have many elderly, sick and life altering changes in and with many people I care for.  Within many things around me; there is much uncertainty.  I'm changing my own life up some as well.

It's very unsettling and there comes excitement with it as well.   It's very scary and the bonds that are being made throughout the human race are priceless.

It's very cold here on the northeast coast of the United States and I'm glad to be back with my two dogs and two cats.

It's quiet here just now.  Tomorrow, it won't be so.  I have many people coming to help and work to get many jobs done. 

....................

I know I'm not making much sense.  I feel tired to share; to talk; to discuss things.  I feel like I need to just be involved and process and help wherever I can as I create the life I want to be mine. 

Our 'world' is spinning at a much greater speed; a much higher vibration, many would say.  We are connecting and connected in ways that have never been experienced before.  There is great excitement and wonder in this, I think.

If we just hold on, live our truth, share our truth, and be our truth WHILE we create the truth of where we want to move on to and forward with... ALL WILL BE FINE.  No matter what, we will survive and life will go on.

May you trust that you are exactly where you need to be with exactly the right amount of information you need doing your very best with it all.  May you trust yourself that you are moving forward in just the right way and with just the right amount of speed and 'knowing'. 

Husband

I'm with my amazing husband here in CA.  He has always asked me not to talk about him on my blog.  I have honored and respected this request and will continue to do so.

(How do I keep this about me?)
As I honor his request, especially when we have been around each other 24/7 for over a week, it is hard for me not to include his energy/presence in my words.  I find that I am leaving out a huge part of myself as I leave him out.  However, I know that this can be done because I am an individual in a marriage; not a marriage wanting to be an individual.  (or some sort of 'crapola' like this!)

So, as we spend our last day together, I realize the impact that he has on my life.  I realize the impact I have on his life.  HUGE.

We are the most important people in each other's lives and sometimes I feel the most estranged with him.  He goes one way and I go another way and somehow we complete goals together.  When we were just a couple, we did everything together; everything.  Grocery shopping, exercising, watching TV, the beach and trips.  Once we became more than a couple; having a house, a family -- we are still together yet I find myself taking different routes from what he wants and needs to do.  I'm grateful that we end up at the same spot and soon - with our child getting ready for college - it will be another chapter of US.

These are the things I'd like to have discussed, taught and paid attention to in school to our children as they grow up and become 'couples'.  I wish I would have learned more than I did about this major part of living before I entered into it.  How to keep our true selves, blend into a relationship, grow a family and stay strong and sane.  This is LIFE, is it not...

May you be aware of what matters to you the most and take great care of them!

I'm Breathing

I am home from California.  I am now getting ready to go to Florida and move in to an apartment to have for the winter months.

My home here needs some work and help; the refrigerator needs to be restocked some and there are leaves everywhere.   No big destruction, no big problems.  Just a lot of little things that I feel I want to do before I go away again for 10 days.

I feel like there is a lot going on because there is.   I'm trying to do it calmly, lovingly and with some great conviction to be able to get it all done and accomplish what needs to be done to help others, keep us all safe and to create the life that makes me happiest.

I feel like I could be doing one hundred things.  At times, like this, I sometimes get paralyzed to do one thing because I let myself feel overwhelmed.

One thing at a time.  Do what is in front of me and most important; I will survive and be better for having gone through this, completed this and going to get on with living the me that I want to be.

My seat belt is on.  I'm barreling through calmly and lovingly.  My heart is open and my nerves are near the surface.  Ha.

May you know where you are, what you are feeling and allow yourself to be you as you share your truth.  

Perhaps, being aware of our truth within and without our self  is extremely helpful.

Where are you - Where do you want to be - What steps are you willing to take to get there......

                             Hot Tub Lit Up at Night (steps from our inner self to our outer self?)

Waking Up

It's my last full day here in CA, USA.  I am very glad to be going home.  I have a great need to be with all my family members, animals and my home.  I'm a bit afraid because there is still no electric and many small problems.  However, all are safe and I know this is what truly matters.

So, as I leave CA, I am grateful I had this opportunity to be here and I've learned and connected to more information and people. 

Breath is the biggest word and learning I take home with me.  I'd like to offer to know that you are breathing and to be aware of your breath. Does it go deep down into your stomach?   Is it a full and complete breath?  Do you allow the air to empty out completely?  Is it shallow?  Is it slow or fast or somewhere in between? 

Take a deep breath now, perhaps.  Are your lungs being filled?  Do you notice your rib cage expanding; your stomach filling like a balloon and then emptying again?  Are your shoulders relaxed?  How does your breath breathe through you....

Every now and then, may you just focus and be with your breath.  This is enables your life force.  There is much power in it.  Allow yourself the pleasure to breathe!  mmmmmmm

Happy Breathing!

                                          My favorite tree in LaQuinta, CA

Need

"If you don't need anything, you have everything."  Anonymous

I'm not sure I'm capable of not needing anything.  Sounds good though!  Ha.

May you have everything you truly need to be okay in this minute.  I'm thinking I can believe this. 

May you believe whatever it is that makes you feel most joy.

Where am I

I've been struggling a bit with being physically on the west coast of the United States and believing I need to be on the east coast - home. 

There was the largest storm in the local electric company's 100 year history and my home, and all those in it,  have been without electricity for 4 days now.  We have a well, so there is no water without electricity to pump it.  There is no heat and the temperatures are in th 30s F.  The fish tanks had no air until we came up with battery operated air pumps.  The food in the freezers and refrigerator has all been thrown out.  This is one way to clean out one's stuff!

Communication locally is not easy.  Many have no house phones and to recharge their cell phones they go and sit in the car and let it run while charging phones. 

Talk about energy!  Without it; especially when so used to it; it is quite the challenge.  It's like camping.  So, the most important thing - safety - is present.  This is most important.  Everyone is okay.  Comfort; not so much.

I find myself tired today because I was 'living' on both time zones (there's a 3 hour time difference).  I was more (many times) on the east coast time than west coast. 

I did this to myself.  I am learning; I am always learning.  I am grateful to learn.

I go home in two more days.  Air flights were hard to get and we were told we need to wait 4 days to fly home with the requirements we had.

I'm not sure electric will be on.  I am sure I will feel home.  I am not sure how I'll deal.  I am sure I will be okay.

May you do better than I and allow your mind to be where your physical body is; especially if your physcial body is in a beautiful place or doing a beautiful thing!