Playing Others' Games

If I buy into and 'play the game' of a person that is stuck/addicted/angry and I choose to be around them and follow their lead and go day to day feeling worried or anxious or sick around this person or even when I think of this person; WHO DOES THIS HELP?

I'm worried; anxious and sick.   They are stuck in their muck.  It doesn't feel good to either of us and, yet, we are both 'playing the game'.  It's amazing how there can be a huge elephant in the room and we can all play 'we don't see the elephant game'. 

It works just the same, when I am stuck in my muck/sickness/fear, when people play my game and my lead and not live their truth - who does it help?   NO ONE.

My wish is that we all stop 'playing the game' of stuckness/addiction/anger/untruth.

If I live my truth of fear, walking on pins and needles and wanting so much for it to be different and I do anything; anything at all to head in MY right/happy direction; who does this help.  EVERYONE.

Follow your truth; live your truth; be your truth.  You may just help another while doing so.  You may just help a village.

JUST BE YOU!

                                                 
                                                          
                                                                    pomono.edu

See

                                                           "See it as it is, but not worse than it is."  

                                                              "Fear will run out if you run with it" 

                                                                                                                    Tony Roberts

I, some of the time, come across a situation and almost immediately take it to the worse possible scenario and put myself in a place of panic and create an untruth that I am not living.  Currently, I am looking at more dental work and right away I find myself thinking it will never heal; this will be horrible to deal with; it's the end of the world for me. (Ha, and that's what it feels like!)   That's not a very helpful or comfortable thought.  The truth is they want to add bone to where they pulled a tooth.  The truth is drs. want me to be better again; create it so I have no problems going forward.  (I heard this before!)  Truth is that I'm scared that I won't heal because I've experienced non-healing or long term healing many times in the past.  Truth is it's very possible I will heal because I have also healed from surgery previously. 

"See it as it is, but not worse than it is."   Helpful and how true.

So, if I get the surgery done, the fear of it will dissipate and more than likely I will be fine.  The fear of 'it' can be many times worse than the truth of actually living through it. 

The thought of something can be more time consuming, more paralyzing, more uncomfortable than the actual, physical 'something'.  

Man; we humans, we can complicate things really, really brilliantly just by using our brains in a negative or not helpful way.  I'm not sure I know anyone who is not brilliant with this!  Some are more brilliant than others, however.

May you use your brain positively today and 'catch' the negative use and say 'oh no - not today'.  'I'm not playing that game today.'

Are we in charge of our own thoughts?  Mmmmm

                                                                           
                                                                         
                                                                                    fotosearch.com
                                                      

Fearful

I'm fearful of writing.  I have many negative thoughts in my head and they are paralyzing me.  Boring; unconstructive; not helpful; bullsh*t; don't know what I'm talking about; nuts; yadda  yadda   yadda.

Ugh. Doesn't feel fine to be in such a place.  It's quite crazy because it isn't my voice I hear.  It's others; it's made up and it's destructive.

It certainly is BULLSH*T!

So, I take a deep breath and I breathe in my own knowing; my own true voice and my love of myself. 

My posts are helpful (to me); my thoughts are my true self; it sometimes is boring and it's sometimes not; it's constructive for me; yes  yes   yes!

If you find yourself in a fearful place,

May you know that as your are right now today, you are right where you are supposed to be; living your truth, changing what doesn't work and clinging to what does.  And when we let it all go - this is who we are; and, in truth, WE ARE ENOUGH.

There is a life process for each and every one of us.  Trust in your life process.

The sooner we can embrace this path and participate in it going forward, the quicker we will know peace.  This is my true hope.

May you be doing a lot of embracing today!

A Beautiful Day and Where I'm At

Today is a beautiful sunny day.  The men are in the yard working and the grass is getting mighty green.  Still a bit of 'nippy' cold in the air and it seems that I am also able to breath in spring!

I'm at a weird place just now.  I'm kind of 'nowhere'.  Or, at least, that's how I feel.

I see, feel, know and hear the world moving around; people going on with their busy lives, schedules and routines.

My truth is is that I have changed.  I now (after many decades) have what is going on inside of me matching to what I share on the outside of me.   I now voice my whole truth.  I now share all of me to my 'people'. 

Some of the feedback is that I'm pushing people away; I better stop what I'm doing; I have to be intervened on; one needs to go to the doctor to learn how to deal with me.....  Wow.  Quite the statements.

It's very interesting because I know I am still the same me as I've always been on the inside, but I now choose to reveal this me through truth, writing, conversations and actions.  I don't just let stress sit in me; I let it process through me.  I no longer have the ability to let stress sit within me; I'm grateful for this inability (I think).  Wowza.

Ugh.  Is this me unlovable like I feared at times?   Is this me as screwy and nuts as I wondered at times? 

So, I'm currently at a standstill.  I'm so happy that I finally have the whole me resonating, defined for the most part and in sync.

My loved ones do not know what to do with me.  Some professionals say that this is great; this is right where it's best for me to be.

Why doesn't it feel wonderful, ecstatic and joyful.   I still feel scared and unsettled.

Time will tell if I end up by myself or if I persuade the world (each and every one of us) to be a better us.  (in my very minute corner of it, at the very least).  Just Be the true You; if this is what feels right for You today.  As time goes on, perhaps, we will learn all that we need to know.  May we let life process through us. 

I want to say 'relax, you are lovable'.   Maybe this is what I want to hear or need to hear just now.

I'm learning that what I tell others, most of the time, I do need to believe myself.

May you relax and know that you are lovable.  May you know this deep down and through all the cells that make you YOU.

You are lovable; You matter; I care.

                                                                     little.i-cay.com

No Words

No words.

I send you happy, 'knowing' energy to support you today.

                                                                 Stan J. Contrades

Tulips (I wanted to send you tulips today; I looked up their meaning and....)
"They are commonly thought to represent attainment of spiritual awareness"  
whats-your-sign.com/flowers

Life

Life is interesting.

Is it not?

That's one word for it!

Speaking the Truth

Oh, do I find myself telling, living and breathing my truth!  I'm sharing and speaking and offering my truth.  It is changing my life.  It is not an easy place to sit - in this disarray and discomfort of newness and offering; portrayal without pretense.

I feel very real in every cell of my body.  I don't want to hurt not even one cell on another person.  It seems I do this, at times, by the energy that may ignite to allow their own truth to awaken.

Truth, when we are not ready to face it (or even when we are) is not always easy.  Truth can transfer like a domino effect. This is what I am experiencing.

In the past, I have not discussed; I have stayed closed; I have chosen not to share certain things that would create discomfort in the air.  I choose to no longer do this.  I choose to not allow stress to stay or get buried inside of myself when I have the option of letting it go.   

Sometimes, creating discomfort is the only way for change.   I can only choose to change myself.  I want to live my truth in each situation as best I can. 

Whether dealing with an addiction, story telling, a closed mind or just something that doesn't feel good to shine light on - truth has a way of creating change.

Change can be very unsettling, for me anyway.

Being Me is the best opportunity to allow you to Be You.  It is the best opportunity for us to live the ultimate life that we are here on this earth to live.  Being You allows me to be me.

I honor where you are; I honor where I am.  I am trying to come from honor and openness and true caring and love with all that I do and share.

That's quite a statement.

Are you living in as much truth as you are able to right now?  Do you dare open up to a bit more?

Through love, openness, caring and truth; can we create a happier, more evolved world? 

Resistant

I am resistant to opening a 'new post' and typing.  I am blank.  I am sitting here and, yet, I know resistance. . .

It's very dark and 45 degrees out.   It might as well be 15 for how I'm thinking about it.  The mist in the air is probably making the trees, rose bushes, flowers and grass happy.  They are all getting the moisture.  I don't want to even put my nose outback today.  I can see the mist.  The cold mist goes right to my bone and hurts.  I choose to stay inside where it's warm and comfortable for me.   Although, I have to say the cold is coming from my inside out and not from the temperature outside in.  Yes, I think that I sound crazy.  Yes, I know this is my truth.  This is why gloves don't seem to warm my hands.  The gloves cannot reach internally.

DiScOmFoRt....for sure.    although it feels much more like DISCOMFORT.  Perhaps, it would have been best if I stayed resistant to my posting!  Ha.

The animals are quiet and laying.  People are even still in bed in my house.  This is not the norm at all.  It sounds like it's 3 a.m.   Interesting.

So, as I depart from this post, I leave you with warm thoughts and COMFORT throughout your being. 

This is my wish for you today...COMFORT

Bluejay - "spiritual joy and contentedness"

greatdreams.com/animals

Fingers

My fingers are very sensitive.  I have three sores.  My initial reaction is to try to figure out why I have them.  Hey, it's been 30 years of me trying to figure out why I have them.  Perhaps, this is one mystery (HUGE MYSTERY) that I'm supposed to live with.

Frustrating, tiring and almost defeating.  ALMOST defeating I say.

The disease seems to have reached my gums.  Where I had a tooth pulled, the skin has not healed closed.   It has healed, but there is a small gap that did not close up.  I'm not sure if too much 'stuff' was taken out when the extraction took place or if, this in fact, is the disease.

Quite a lot has been blamed on the disease over the years.  It's an easy out.   I've used it myself again and again and again and again.  Professionals have used it when I've asked the unknown.

Most of the time it was my truth.  Some of the time, it was probably not.  I'm a bit mixed up (too many years) and it has stopped me from doing many, many, many things.  It has been helpful at some things to not have to do things.  See, good and bad on every issue!

It may be the current beautiful warm and sunny days turning back into the cloudy, damp, very cool days.  The fluctuation of temperature is surely not my friend.  I feel beat up by it most times.

When I was in Ocala, Florida, fluctuation there can be dramatic (up to 30 degrees) in one day and it can be regular.  I noticed this year, watching the temperature between here, Ocala and West Palm Beach, Florida, that in West Palm Beach most days fluctuate less then 15 degrees daily.  This is the norm.  I'm wondering if this is one big reason why I feel much better there. 

I know my frame of mind has a lot to do with it as well.  The beauty of palm trees, vibrancy of color on the flowers and trees and the sound and vastness of the ocean really calm me.  Empty leaved trees and brownish grass and drab color does not excite me in the least.

So, onward and forward I go.  Mystery still unsolved.  How will I proceed from here.

How are you handling the mysteries of your life and how do they affect you?

The word acceptance is knocking at my door again.  I do not know why I won't fully let it in....  Another mystery.   Mmmmm   I can almost feel the complete body relaxation from opening this door....

Whew

Whew, what a day!  A lot of wheeling and dealing; interfacing and corresponding with people!  Many different people on many different deep, life changing subjects.

I feel wonderful and I feel tired in a positive way.  I don't know if I reached the success of one of my biggest challenges facing me today (outside of my own 'stuff').  I believe with untiring care, concentration and persistance; the goal will be won!  I pray.

When I feel anxious, out of sorts or troubled, I ask myself  'what is my goal in the moment?'.... it helps me center and move forward with more ease.

What is your goal for the current situation you are living?

Troubled

I'm troubled today.  I have people that I know in my life that are suffering and cannot seem to find a way to suffer less just now. 

I want to help them and I feel paralyzed.  One might think that it's me the way I stayed awake last night worrying.  I prayed for guidance and help with showing me exactly what to do to help them.  I so want to help them; I hurt.

Me hurting does not help them.  I want to get in a different state of mind so that I can, perhaps, find a way to help them.  I've personally asked how to help; to no avail. 

If we need help, is it best to be specific on the kind of help we need.  People that love us really want to help. 

As I write this; I know I've asked others to help me; yet, at times, I give them no guidance on how to.  If I don't know the help I need, how can I expect others to know.

I find these thoughts troubling. 

What do you need today?

If you get into trouble today, may it be the 'good' kind!

Thoughts to Ponder

From the book "The Perfect Day" by Richard Evans and Richard Paul Evans

"I've heard it said that the most humble of days is when a man compares what he might have been to who he really is."



"Hell is the  perfect recollection of every evil thing you've done in your life, every thoughtless word, every cruel, evil thought or action."  It's nothing more than clarity." 
"Do you want to know what heaven is?" "It's the same thing." ... clarity on all the beauty you put forth

May you put forth your beauty today and make it a heaven here on earth day.

What If

""No, I never wish for that, " came his brusque reply.  "The words 'might have been' mean nothing to me.  There's only now, and the future.""

From the book "Again the Magic" by Lisa Kleypas

Where are you living today???  Is your mind currently in the past, the present or the future AND how does it feel to be there?

New Moon This Week

Taurus:

"This week could bring sudden wows or new beginnings in how you attune to your inner psyche and intuition. Forgiveness is a brilliant way to finish old business and renew your empowerment. Your life is about to take off! Release unnecessary baggage -- even if you believed it is protecting you."

By
huffingtonpost.com/phyllis-f-mitz 

                   May you enjoy looking up for the New Moon.


"A new moon occurs when the moon is between the Earth and the Sun, so that the illuminated side of the moon faces away from viewers on Earth.  As a result, the moon appears as a thin crescent in the sky, or it vanishes entirely."   WiseGEEK.com  

What Fun

What fun I am having.  NOT.  With the beautiful spring like days, I was starting to feel calmer and happier within myself.  My body did not have as much tension and pain/discomfort.

Today, it's much cooler and the sun is not out working it's magic.

My body feels it.   Ouch.

A question I've been asking myself for decades "How can one person (me) be so affected by the weather?"

Perhaps, this is the one big question that I need to start with today and know that I will never have an answer to and it is (beyond) time to let this be okay and just go with it.

Mmmmm.

May you accept that you will never have an answer to a question you've asked yourself over and over again.  And, most importantly, may it be okay with you from now on.

World Stuff

I don't know how I find myself here preaching about the world and honor; the world in chaos; and how it's a great opportunity to recreate the world we are living in and on.

Perhaps, I'm watching too much TV.  Perhaps, I'm reading too many books.  Perhaps, I need to get out more (there's no perhaps here). 

Lastly, perhaps, it's just what I am feeling. 

However, maybe I can just be where I am and stop the questions.  Again, maybe there are some things in this world and life that I am just not supposed to have the answer to.

Something to ponder; I suppose.

May you be okay not knowing the answer to everything today.  May you believe that what you do know is perfect for today.

Picture on my wall in my home.

The water is just traveling through.

My Little One

My Little Girl (really 17) is home now!!!  She returned home from her 2 month trip to the FL horse world.  It was quite the winter for her.  Many facets of growing up, struggle, freedom and success.

I feel like I can breathe again.  It's so nice to have her here, where I think she belongs; for now.

I'm proud of how she handled herself (from what I know (uhm)) and I'm grateful she is home safe and sound.

Some of the horses are even involved with this chaotic world-altering state that we are all in (I believe); however, we all do not know it as the same.  Some of us may not even know any different in the past 5 years than they do now.  This may be good; this may be not good; this may be just where we are supposed to be. 

Wherever I am; I honor.  Wherever you are; I honor.  For some reason, as a whole world, it's not as easily to honor in the same way and I do not know why.  I do care.

I want the world to be a world we can all honor. 

May we each honor our own small place in the world and may this honor grow worldwide.

May We Be Open

Like a flower blooming in the sunlight, may we choose to let our hearts bloom even in the chaos of our world.  What if we all decided to go forth with intent of oneness, love, understanding and openness?

What kind of world would we see?  What kind of world would we create with all of us having the same intent of a happier, peaceful world; Of being a happier, peaceful person?

Could we create this?

I'd sure like to try.

Would you?

May we all choose to live our lives with the intent of a happy, peace-filled life and may we share this with each other.  May we create the world that we want for ourselves and for our children and our children's children to know and enjoy and be able to embrace.

What if it could start with me?  What if it could start with you?  What if it already started and all we have to do is tap into it.  NOW THAT WOULD BE A PARTY!

Happy Spring!

Happy Spring!  Happy Bling!  Happy, Happy Everything!

Oh, yes.  Spring has sprung and I'm a happy camper!

The blooms on the trees are white, pink and purple petals.  The forsythia's yellow is bright and cheery.  The daffodils and hyacinths have found there way up out of the earth and are starting to bloom.

I have pansies sitting out front in purples and blues to plant and enjoy.

The fish in the pond are swimming and surfacing looking for food.  Don't tell anyone, but I had to feed them because they were looking hungry to me. What fun.  I hope it stays warm so their digestion doesn't get messed up.

I hope it stays warm so I don't get messed up!

May you have a bright and beautiful springtime in your life, your heart and your soul.


"For happiness one needs security, but joy can spring like a flower even from the cliffs of despair."
–Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence. Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance. Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence. Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance."
–Yoko Ono

"Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”"
–Robin Williams

                 Quotes from Care.com

Dare to Allow Your Dreams to Come to Fruition

If you take time to notice; I'm thinking that there are many coincidences; things lining up; things repeating themselves and signs showing us our way or confirming that we are on the right path.  If nothing else, I find these kinds of things fun, interesting and exciting.

Just wish one of the 'coincidences' I encounter would 'fix' me already.!  (I know, I'm the one telling myself that I broken.  I better stop this!)

I went to the tarot cards again this morning after my HOLD ON/roller coaster ride posts.  I went with the intent to pick a card with the question in my head of what does the holding on mean or is there something more I can do or know.

While using the Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place book, "The Alchemical Tarot", I ended up picking two cards instead of one.

Here goes:

The Wheel of Fortune
Tarot Wisdom:  "What goes up must come down.  The rise and fall of fate can seem like an unending trap, but as we move to the centre of the wheel, our ups and downs become less extreme, and finally, at the axle, we can reach the stillness at the centre of our being.  From this vantage the fluctuations of the fixed and volatile can be seen as the essential rhythm of life.  Like its Eastern counterpart, the yin-yang symbol, this image itself can serve as a subject of contemplation to help in attaining a state of calm.  Meanwhile, the fact that everything changes often works in our favour, so this can be considered a card of good fortune."

Three of Coins
Tarot Wisdom:  "The card suggests an artist who works for the establishment, or who works at a salaried position.  It signifies creativity with security and stability.  It also presents bringing the unconscious, in terms of creativity and ideas, into the physical plane.  The salt coin, which is over the centre column, denotes stability, for in order to express the unconscious, you need stability in life.  The message might relate to receiving patronage or contracts for your creative work, with a minimum risk on your part.  The message also could relate to work you have done in the past, or will do in the future depending on the cards' position in a spread."


May you dare to dream; dare to share your dream; and dare to feel your dream from inside of you as you dare to make it grow.   (there's a lot of daring going on here for me! - perhaps, it can be simpler for you!)

HOLD ON

I know that I am learning a lot about myself from writing my blog.  Just today, I realize the words I want to tell myself the most right now are HOLD ON.

I see it as a title and I read it in the body of one of my posts.  So, I acknowledge that what I need to hear right now is HOLD ON.

It may just be a bunch of nothing; it may be just what I need to do; it may be somewhere in between.

HOLD ON sounds good and true to me.  I see a lot of unraveling in my world and our world and my wish is that we can hold on and persevere as we create, together, beauty of what the human race can accomplish with the knowledge we have at our fingertips, the love we know in our hearts, the desires we wish for in our beings and the connection of all that is now very prevalent.

May you hold on as you create the world you want to live in, together.

Mystery

Maybe the mystery of life is supposed to be just that.  A mystery.  Maybe what we know is all we need to know and we do not need anymore information, currently, about the mysteries of the evolving of our life.

What if I just chose to accept the mysteries that I cannot solve; just let them be.

Sometimes I hear people say "I just don't get it".  Maybe we are not supposed to 'get it'. 

If I gave up having to 'get it'; how would I feel. 'FREE' is the answer that comes to my mind immediately and very loud.

May you allow yourself to be FREE today.

  

                                             Picture received via email.  Photographer unknown

Roller Coaster

May you be on the fun, exhilarating part of the roller coaster today.  And, if you find yourself climbing up instead, may you believe that the fun part is right in front of you.   Hold on!

My truth is I am going sporadically from the climb to the excitement back to the climb.  I am in constant struggle with constant new insight.  It feels exhausting and it's feels right for me for this moment. 

However, I'm ready to get off and get into the Lazy River float and just 'sail' for a while. 

May you know the 'ride' you'd like to be on today and take it!

Ha.

Up and Down

The weather is so up and down these days.  It's beautiful and sunny one hour (feels like hourly anyway), then it's dark, chilly and even gloomy the next.  It's quite all over the place.

Our world seems to be in great change as well (my world anyway).  I think with the ease of connection with all this electronic, facebook, face times, etc; we are right there with each other.  We feel and know and see each others lives more deeply; more closely.  We are more intertwined.

This is exciting news.  This is maybe not so easy news.  I do feel that we can change the world with this capacity of closeness.  I think whether we change it or not - it is changing. 

I hope we can all hold on as we take this, perhaps, biggest roller coaster ride of our lives (perhaps of all time) and create and go with it through ease, trust, joy and bring our own inner knowing into play.

May we share who and what we are in our truth and grow and form the world into the happy "Coke" commercial. The one that sings about Perfect Harmony.

It seems I am only able to lay low just now.  My energy is low; I feel a bit dazed and confused and I'm hanging as I allow my truth to envelop me and I pray I "wake up" soon and just know what road to travel now.  I really want to travel a wide open road.  I want to live.  Life is so exciting when I let it be so.

May you let your life excite you today!

    

                                                          themeparks.about.com


                                                                
                                                             thereluctantmonogamist.wordpress.com

Low Energy

My energy level is extremely low today.  I don't like it; I'd rather if I had some energy.   However, for some reason I do not.

I'm trying to be with my truth even though my brain tells me it SHOULD be otherwise.

What's a woman to do?

What do you do when your brain tells you one thing and your body another?  Which part of you usually wins out?  How is it working for the life you want to live?

Thoughts to ponder OR thoughts to throw away?  Which helps with the overall picture of YOU?

Happy St. Patrick's Day

It was first celebrated as many Irish became Christian.  It is now a good party day for many.  Many wear green just because that's what we know.  It was originally worn for representing the "emerald" color of Ireland and the color of the three leaf clover that many believe represents the holy trinity.  Originally the 'color' of the holiday was blue.  (denoting to me that any kind of change is never impossible)

Mostly United States recognizes it as St. Patty's Day.   It is also known as St. Paddy's Day to parts of the world.  The 17th of March is the day of St. Patrick's known death.  It is a holy obligation day in the diocese of Ireland and many other places just celebrate the Irish culture. 

St. Patrick's Day is the most celebrated saint day in the world per Wikipedia.

However you celebrate; if you celebrate it -

May you have a celebration that brings you joy, gratefulness and togetherness.

If you are not celebrating the holiday today,

May you know joy, gratefulness and togetherness anyway!

Mind

My mind is too tired and my fingers too sensitive to come here today.  Yet, this is where I find myself.   I'm here to see what I am thinking and feeling.  I come here to learn.

I went out to lunch with family that I love today and when I go out, it's like I'm going out anew.  I'm a new me.  I bring the new me with me. 

I have to admit (not really willingly) that it's scary to venture out with the new me.  The me that tries not to put a social face on too strong.   The me that has fingers that do not work as well as I'd like them to and I drop things.  It takes me a long time to eat and everyone kindly waits for me to finish.

I've been drinking a lot of my blueberry, spinach, banana shakes.  I've been drinking them daily.  With my teeth still having work done and my small mouth, it is easier (much) to get my nutrition this way.  Although, it isn't as enjoyable.  I still take comfort in biting into a tasty morsel!

I would give myself a 5 to 6 on how I did today.  I get caught up in the conversation and my habit is to include myself and I want to learn to sit back and listen more than voicing my own thoughts.  I want to balance the voicing and listening better. 

I get too tired (yes, wimpy) to constantly chat and share.  I want to sit back and let others converse and not feel like I have to be right in there with them always.  This would be really be 'anew'!

So, as I state where my mind is; yes, I do learn what a nut I am and it's okay.  It's okay to play this game for me.  Because, it is the only way I know how to change me for the better.  AND, I want to be better.

May you do better today by thinking about how and what you want to change; if anything.

Thank You

I want to thank you for visiting me regularly.  I want to thank you for wanting to be the you that you know you can be.   I want to thank you for being open and wanting to live your honest self.

I want to thank you for being you.

Currently, our Be U blog has readers from Brazil, Canada, France, Germany, India, Ireland, Italy, Russia, Slovenia, Switzerland, Ukraine and the United States.

I want to thank you.

May you do something nice for yourself today.  I believe it goes a long way.

Just Be

Is it okay to just be?  Just be everything that I am; everything that I am not? 

What if we could totally know that it's okay to want; it's okay to feel; it's okay to need; it's okay to share all that we want, feel and need.  It's okay to be where we are and allow just what is to rampantly run through and around us.  What would it be like to truly live in the world in the way that shows our truest of selves.

Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Can you choose to allow yourself to just be today?

No pretense allowed today.  Choose not to have to be more; be less - be anything other than all that you are.

We are created just as we are.  Allow the creation of you to BE YOU in the world. 

I wonder what our world would look like if we allowed hurt instead of anger; peace instead of fear; openness for things we do not understand and non judgement for things that are not a part of ourselves.  The world would look different.   I'd love to be able to look at the world in this way.  Perhaps, I am the only one stopping myself from seeing this.  Mmmmm

Where I'm At

I'm more than 3/4 of the way to the point of my wholeness.  I know and live what I feel.  I am connected to my soul and my heart's desire.  I only need to lead my life with this now. 

I have waves of dizziness and I stand more firmly on the ground.  I feel my feet connected to the earth.  The ringing in my ears is still strong.  My fingers are more limber and my nails are trying to grow out.  My skin on the top half of my fingers is tough and sandpaper-like.  My physical strength is lacking. 

I need to bring my spiritual self back into my physical self.  Before, I was much more in my physical self than my spiritual self.  Balance....  the key for me is balance.  The hardest thing for me to achieve is balance; or so it seems.

I am hopeful and know greatness is mine.  I am hopeful and know greatness can be yours.  I believe by living and achieving connection through the truth of who we are; we have greatness.  We all have it.  We only have to tap into it.

I believe I am tapping into it.  It may be as simple as being content and unafraid of where and who I am.  It may be being in the middle of the ocean on a warm, tropical wave on a luxurious, comfortable yacht.  It may be sitting with my dogs and feeling the love.  It may be knowing I helped change someone else's life for the better.  It may be watching a loved one smile.  All of this is greatness for me.  I am ready to be in my greatness.

Are you coming with yours?

Pansy Time

I saw a sign yesterday that said it was time to plant the pansies!  Oh, yes; I say!  Oh, yes. 

Everything starts coming back to life; sprouting and growing and peaking up through the dirt.  Color starts blooming; trees start 'leaf-ing'; birds start singing and I; I start awakening as well. 

I feel more alive; more grounded; more happy and more inner strength this time of year.  The dormant days of winter (for me) are ending and the 'get out and breathe' in the warm, vibrant life of nature is just beginning again and it is a very joyful time of year for me.

I did see a film entitled "Warren Miller:  Children of Winter" yesterday.  I have to admit the beauty of snow capped mountains and the white heaviness of powder snow on the evergreen trees can be breathtaking.  Watching these 'risk takers' being taken by helicopter and dropped up at the height of the mountain and ski or snowboard straight down the side of it was just awesome.  The vitality and power of each skier was very invigorating for me to watch.  They more than likely dislike the spring that takes away their joy of winter. Winter is their heart.

May you be where your heart is.  And, if you are not, may you know there is a reason for it and take everything in that you can from where you are.  May you embrace where you are while you create the life where your heart and your physical body meet.

It's all in our hands.

                                                            
                                                                impactyourparadigm.com

What a Great Day!

What a great day to do something really fun and different than yesterday.  You have complete control of you and your life.  You are in charge. 

Only one person stops you from being all that you can be.  YOU. 

May you do something today that you've been wanting to do and were afraid. 

May you walk through the fear and open the part of you that is begging to breathe life.
Only you know what I'm talking about.

What a great day this day can be.  All we have to do is tap into our own inner knowing and let it out.

Ready?

Yep, I'm nuts. Ha.

The SUN

Quotes taken from "The Alchemical Tarot" book by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place

The Sun.  I've always loved the sun; it's warmth, it's brightness, 'it's brilliance and it's beauty.... and now for it's tarot wisdom....   You might say I've always been a 'sunchaser'!  Interesting

The Sun
"The dawn, or the aurora, is a state of radiant health and wellbeing.  We are cleansed of the past as we bask in the healing rays of the new sun.  This sun is the internal illumination that previously we were too blind to see, it dawns when we bring our masculine and feminine sides into unity and balance.  In Jungian terms this is when our anima or animus joins our conscious mind"  "When all four aspects of our personality - feminine, masculine, persona and shadow - are integrated, we can experience the Higher Self, which is both our centre and our collective whole.
In this state we are motivated and inspired by our desires, but have the maturity to see the yearning of our souls that are at their root.  We have gained the patience to remain unattached to the goal of our quest, manipulating no one and having the strength to simply do what is called for in the present."

I usually only read the "Tarot wisdom" part of the book for each card; however, these words caught my eye.  "They have reached the goal of the work."  "The alchemist reaps what he has sown."  "The number of the Sun, 19, is unity." 

I'm all for reaping what one has sown; reaching our goals and unity!  Can our one Sun help us with this?

      Will you?
                                  escuchasolradio.com
                         

Greatness of You

I believe that everything we need, we already have inside of us.  We were born with innate knowledge that we only have to tap into to be the best person we can be; to live our own life to the fullest with the greatest pleasure possible.

Everything you need for your lifetime was born with you.  The best you that you can be is already innately yours.  Follow your inner knowing and the miracle of living the complete you in the best possible scenario for you is yours.

Your desires, skills, dreams and mistakes are all yours to create the you that keeps you moving forward on this journey of living.  You know what skills you want to enhance; you know what dreams bring you completeness; you know what desires bring you joy; you learn what you learn from your mistakes.

Only you.  There is only one you.  And, because you were born; you are perfect just as you are.  You are meant to be just as you are.  Embrace it and live it.

Double dog dare you!

May you connect with and show the you that is the totality of you.  We, the world, are waiting to know the total you.   When you come from love, understanding, acceptance and truth, there is no greater you.

Bring on the greatness.

                                            
                                                        Americandigest.org

Better Day

I had a great night sleep.  My frozen fingers and the sores are much better and calmer.  The pain has decreased greatly.  The infection is showing no signs of it being there.  I'm so happy and pleased.

Never has it come and gone so fast before.  This, to me, is a great sign and I embrace it.  I am learning that to listen to what my body is saying is the best and fastest way to heal for me.  Ignoring signs; feelings; pain and nuances seem to make them stay with me longer. 

I like things coming and going better.  Feels easier and smoother and I'm grateful to know that (for now) this is what works best for me.

When my body is telling me to rest, it works better if I do not resist and simply rest.  The feeling passes and I can move on easier and much stronger.  Who'd have thunk it!

I'm am learning and seeing things again and again that when we accept what is and allow it; miracles of all sizes are more apt to happen.  When I resist and push back and not want it; the 'it' may stay longer and can even get louder.

May you accept where you are and maybe even see and know the miracle of it.

I am learning that my acceptance and openness to live through whatever is in front of me with as much ease and loving support as I can is a miracle in and of itself.

Sores - Ouch

The past two nights I've been kept awake for many hours with sores on my fingers.  My hands are swollen and the throbbing is very uncomfortable.  It feels like a knife is going back and forth and scraping my bone on one of my fingers.  It looks infected.  This is a normal sore for me.  OUCH.

I'm not sure what happened.  I've been doing pretty good on the pain level and I've been able to use my fingers somewhat easily and have been definitely sore free.  They are currently stiff and very difficult to use; extremely sensitive to the touch.

I am sad and angry that this is happening to me again.  I haven't had this much pain for months and I really do not know how I have suffered decades with this great throbbing pain of ulcers on my fingers.

Why I feel like a failure is uncertain in my mind.  I do feel like one because I'm telling myself that these ulcers are my fault.  I could do better.  I'm not sure.  I don't know if it's habit when I stress too much or do too much.  I don't think it's conscious.  It could be unconscious.  I know telling myself I'm a failure is not in my best interest.  There is big part of me that knows this is an untruth.  Even though we all have failed before, this does not make who we are a failure.  In fact, I believe it's better to fail than not to have tried at something that peaks our interest or something we believe could be really beneficial for us to succeed at.  We are human beings doing the best we can with what we know and with the experiences that have made us who we are today. 

I do know I don't want this to be my truth.  I do not want this pain nor do I want any more symptoms of scleroderma.  I guess because I can live so many months without ulcers, I tell myself that there is a way to live ulcer-free; I just have to figure out this way.

It seems when I get close to feeling like playing in the world again; finding a job; exploring this great earth that we live on -- 'something' is not ready for me to do so and things pop up and keep me 'down'; keep me 'in' and 'internal'.  As I'm typing this, I know that fear can have great power over me.  I also feel great excitement with moving on as well. 

So, I am accepting where I am today with hopes that I will be in an easier place tomorrow.  All I can do is strive for it, so strive I will.

May you strive for what you want in your heart today.  May you succeed in accomplishing it.

This is my wish for you today.  I'd also like to suggest replacing the word 'strive' with 'allow' and see how that feels.  Mmmmmm

Oppossum

Opossum:

Opossum teaches the lesson of using and enhancing appearances and deceptions and illusions. He also aids in resting when needed (playing dead), and the art to act or behave in strategic manner as appearing to be fearful or fearless in spite of true feelings. Opossum gives courage to pretend for a while in order to cope with mental and spiritual constructs. He teaches wisdom and sensibility and knows when to fight if needed. Is it time to fight for things or to rest?

By www.starstuffs.com/animal

I write about opossum because opossum feces is what will produce the infection our horse has.

This is an interesting one for me because I'm writing and talking and trying to live my truth.  Yet, it is my nature to create an appearance of confidence and sometimes illusion while out in the world in silence.  I also get stuck on fighting for my health and/or letting it be what it is. 

Oh, the tangled webs we weave.

Being human has its complexities and its greatness.  It is a learning and growing experience everyday.  I can choose to flow with it to my best ability or I can choose to 'push back' or resist what is.  The balance of this may just be something to delve deeper into for me. 

May you know when to Be U in all your open truth and may you know when to Be U in each environment you find yourself in.  Regardless of the situation, may you know when to play the YOU that best accomplishes your goal through truth, trust, openness and care.

The You that you bring to a concert may not be best 'played' in a professional environment.  Just saying!

Sad Day

We just found out that our horse that is showing in Florida, USA has a neurological disease that makes the horse unable to use his motor skills because this infection deadens the feeling in the horses body.  It is not painful for the horse and it can be somewhat horrific to watch the horse try and not be able to do everyday movements.

This is heartbreaking for me as a parent to know my daughter has to experience this.  There is only two weeks left to the season and she is currently in 2nd place overall in her division.  She has to stop showing this horse.  So, the goal of a win is not possible.

Man plans; God laughs.   I don't feel like He is laughing; I do feel He has other plans for my daughter; more important than the goal of winning this show with this horse.

I am grateful that this was discovered before any big and/or serious problems arose during showing and riding.

It is a sad day in my world.  I am trying to accept and process this.  It is a challenge.  I will help my daughter in whatever way possible to help her process the huge 'bump' in her road; in whatever capacity she needs. 

May you accept and process your life whenever challenges arise within it.  May we believe there is something else planned for us.  And it's okay.  It has to be. 

I can choose to fight it knowing I won't win or I can choose to accept this and deal with it to the best of my ability through information, love, and care.  I realize sometimes it takes more than one dose of information, love and care so.... as much as it takes; whatever it takes.

God bless our animals.  I am grateful for animals.  It hurts to see them suffer.  The joy they bring us endures longer (or at least I hope so) than the pain.

Hip Hip Hooray Too Early?

Yes, we change the clocks ahead this weekend.  And, yes, it gives us more sunlight at the end of the day.  However, daylight savings time usually didn't happen til first weekend in April annually.  Today is March 10.  So, my great happy hip hip hooray just may have been a bit premature.

Today we have sunshine and we also have 30 degrees F.  Ouch.  Windy.  However, I did see some yellow daffodils yesterday.  Color is a big plus for me!  Robins with their redbreasts are a pleasant sight as well. 

So, I'd like to just offer a Hooray and forget about the Hip Hip for now.  Ha!

May you have Hip Hip Hooray moments today; or at the very least, Hooray!

The Phoenix

As I'm typing about the last cards I picked from "The Alchemical Tarot" deck by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place, my "Little Bear" pekingese seems to have taken up space on these cards.  She had her paw on one and, yep, you bet - I had to read it!  I've seen this one before.

Ten of Staffs
"You have been transformed by your experiences.  You have been tested by fire; your old self has died away, and a new self is being born.  You are renewed."

This can be true for all of us.  We all have had experiences.  (this is for sure)

May you embrace the transformation that allows you to live the life that gives you most bliss.

Reaching for the Stars

                                                                  shirt.woot.com
I am starting anew; professionally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  Pretty much, I am starting anew all over again.  I reached out yesterday to an idea that I've had for a long time.  I am afraid of achieving it and I am afraid of not achieving it.  (put myself in a pickle, yes?)  Ha. (it's a secret!...for now)

So, today, I went to the tarot cards by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place; "The Alchemical Tarot" book.  While I reached for one card, two came.

Queen of Vessels
"You have a mystery to ponder.  The unconscious may be trying to present you with something that is yet beyond your grasp.  Or perhaps you are only supposed to ponder the mystery.  Sometimes to explain the mysteries of life is to diminish them.  When a seed is planted in the ground it must remain unseen for a time while it germinates. If we expose it prematurely to the light it will not sprout."

Eight of Vessels
"Your work is a creative endeavour, not mere labour.  It is engrossing and emotionally satisfying.  By immersing yourself in satisfying work, you become centred, and in turn find your centre, which is the Anima Mundi."

Anima Mundi  (dictionary.com)
    "soul of the world" 

May you connect to the Anima Mundi today; if you feel like it!
                           

I Survived!

I survived the long dark winter in Northeastern Pennsylvania, USA.  Hip Hip Hooray!  I really and truly survived!  I just heard great news that this weekend is Spring Ahead time!  We set the clocks ahead.  The dark days will be a thing of this winter's past!  It will stay brighter longer each day.  It will get dark later and later.  Nature will start coming alive.  I'll start coming alive!

This is great news for me.  The dark days of winter are not my favorite thing to live in.  Sunlight is a blessing to me.

So, if you are in an area that sets your clocks ahead in the springtime.... Get ready. 

May sunlight shine on you today!

What a Day

It's a beautiful day outside today.  Blue sky, warm sun; I can feel spring in the air!  It's wonderful.  The dogs are all running around.  The cats are dodging around the dogs.  The sun feels so good on my face.

Inside my body there is turmoil.  Turmoil that I am not doing what I want to do.  I'm fixing and helping and dealing with situations that I don't really want to be involved in.  I want to be at the hair dresser getting some blonde highlights.   I want to be relaxed and not agitated.  I want to not be told do something at the last minute that has to be done now.  I want things to be easier for me.  I don't want to have to fight someone that disagrees with me.  I am not happy where I am at.  I want to create the life that I want to live.  Instead I let everything else that is very prevalent here with me win out.  I give everything I have to this and have nothing left for me. 

I'm angry that I have concentrated so strongly on changing me and I feel like a failure.  I have failed myself.  Right now in this minute - I am not  (oh wait)  I am doing what I want to do right now in this minute.  Mmmmm

Why am I so uptight and miserable then?  Dang, this human mind is a playground for many intruders.  I have to stop the intrusion.  Yes, I'm just losing my sanity and heading towards insanity.  'They' tell me when I think like this then I still have sanity; that insane people do not worry about their sanity. 
I'm not so sure.

May you be sure of your sanity today!

Loving

"Loving others is easy when you love and accept yourself."  Anonymous

Well, I'm not doing a great job at loving and accepting myself today....  so LOOK OUT!   Ha.

May you love and accept yourself today just as you are.  Others do.  Mmmmmm

                                                                  Kali

Something in the Air

I am so resisting this honest part of me today.  If I were to be honest and state my truth (which is my goal always), I have to admit that I'm achy and irritable in this moment.  I'm not sure why.  My body is in the old reminder of the state of screaming.  My body seems to be screaming at me today.

I've tried quite a few things today and was unable to do them easily.  I DID THEM and ASKED FOR HELP with  what I couldn't do and I'm angry and frustrated and sad that I cannot do it easily.

Just copying old film to new DVDs; setting up the system; pulling plugs, taking off papers, opening discs and pushing buttons was not easy for me to do.  I felt frustrated and would not give up.  I made it as far as I could go and can't seem to connect to the proper area to make the camera play on the big screen.  So I await more help.

My Durby dog is laying down barking.  He is getting a little senile maybe and he barks just lying there now.  It is sad for me and it is also frustrating and trying. 

I'm allowing the littlest things 'bark' at me today.  I want to hide and feel I have no where to hide.  I want to be more involved than I am with people and I don't know the best manner to make this happen; so I stay put.  My dogs are so used to having me around; I feel guilt leaving them.  I have fear in me to just proceed out in the world and play again.

I'm ashamed that I do not know how to do this better.  I want to just do it and make it happen.  My head is not allowing me to.

I feel like I sound like a loser and I certainly do not want to be this!  (God forbid)

So, I don't know if something is in the air or I just have to change the way I think or my body is physically unable; but something is here for me to push through still.  Something is stopping me.  I know it's me and I don't know exactly how to change this. 

Push through I will.

I ask God to push me through to the other side of this and let me get on with living.  'I've gotta lotta living to do.'  (Bye Bye Birdie)

May living you come with ease today.

No More Fear

Poem by Marianne Williamson (I've also seen it quoted, in print, by Nelson Mandela.?)
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves - who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous, powerful?
    Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

Now is the time to let your light shine.

May the beautiful light of who we are connect as one.

Shaking

I'm trying to move forward here.  I'm not balanced.  I'm too focused on the hard topics in life.  I am now free (in my own mind) to do and be and act and live as I please. I do know that in reality, most likely, I always have been free.   Noone is around.  I'm shaking with anticipation.  I don't honestly know how to proceed forward.

I have time to myself now.  My aunt is handling things with a bit of a struggle; however she is handling things.  I can't imagine myself 40 years from now.  I know I won't be the same as I am now; just like 40 years ago, I was very different.

40 years is not a small amount of time.

So, as I'm shaking inside living my truth and sharing it; I know I am where I need to be today and I know I want to feel more fulfilled, satisfied and downright upright.  (whatever the heck that means!)  Meaning, doing what I love and feeling invigorated and alive by it.

Exercise is a good start.  I need more aerobic exercise.  Dancing, walking and moving.  When I feel good, then I am good.  When I am good, I feel good.  Whatever 'good' means to me is what counts for me.  Whatever 'good' means to you, is what counts for you. 

Regular, consistent, push myself to my limit exercise makes me feel good.  I wonder why I resist.  If I had to guess, it's just because it hasn't been my norm for some time.  I know I love it; I think of it as putting myself first and I want to think of it as "I have/want to do it to get to the ultimate me once again".  I used to go to bed thinking that I can't wait to wake up to exercise again tomorrow!  Are these 'knowing cells' still a part of me.  I will see.

May you go to sleep with something you love to do coming your way each day.

Ignore

If we ignore something; does this make it go away or not be real OR does it just help to not feel the pain of it.  If I ignore something, it certainly doesn't feel as hurtful and to keep it out of my thinking is easier....or is it?

Does it eventually, most likely, catch up with us and we have to deal or walk with it and through it anyway.  If we deal with a circumstance head on and process it and put it behind us - then does it hold less power?

Does it keep popping up again and again when we try to ignore it?

For example, if I have to have a conversation with someone to get their thoughts on something and I keep putting it off and, yet,  it means alot to me; it seems to stay with me and I think and toss and turn it around and around.  When I have the conversation; it is done as I know it and I move on to the next stage of same or I put it behind me, BUT it doesn't stay the same within me.  I have power over it; it doesn't have power over me.

Is it human tendency to ignore or not talk about hurtful things?  Does this help us be more or less human?

May you notice what you may choose to ignore today.  Where would you be if you chose to deal with it head on?
Would it at least allow you to live more freely or different not to ignore it OR does being 'stuck in it' work for you today?  Mmmmmm

Thoughts

We are what we think.  When I think (and even rethink) a thought that doesn't 'sit well' with me, I can ask myself how would I feel without this thought.  Who would I be without this thought?  How would I act without this thought?  Do I know for certain that this thought is 100% positively accurate with complete certainty and no doubt whatsoever?

I'd like to offer that when you think a thought that is hurtful to your soul, just for today, give this thought a break.  Give it up.  Perhaps, replace this thought with "I am good/safe/loving/happy in this moment". (Pick one or choose your own word.)

May you discourage and/or erase the thought(s) that does not feel good on you, for just today.  You can always bring the thought(s) back tomorrow if you miss it badly enough. Ha.

                              May you wash your hurtful thoughts away.  You have the power.

Life Changes

All my parents from my side and my husband's side of the family are now deceased.  The little kids are now in their 20s finding their own lives and their own ways.

I've been asking myself if this is my mid-life crisis for about 10 years now.  I am far from being the child; I am not yet where I'm ready to admit I'm the old lady; because I am not!

I am, however, starting to find myself in the same 'freedom' stage as I was in my 20s.  However, I am 30 years older.  Wow, who'd have thunk that I'd not be young forever! 

Freedom.  I love it.  I loved coming and going as I pleased; doing what I wanted when I chose; being with who I wanted; and being where I wanted to be.  I think I still love this.  However, it doesn't feel as easy as it did in my 20s.  It will again.  I believe this.

However, being a mom and focusing solely on family, home, pets and my health has somewhat dis-empowered my innate ability to know what I want to do with this freedom I find available to myself. 

I know I want to be out in the world again; making money doing what I love.  It used to be fitness and the beach.  Man, did I have a blast!  Now, it's more than just fitness.  It's being you-ness that I find so fascinating and want to encourage and enable and watch others finding their true selves and living their all-ness lives. 

I want to encourage and watch as many people as possible live from their inner-most being and knowing and create the world to encourage peace, love, empathy, compassion and connection with the same in all of us. 

There are many rules; guidelines, comments and opinions out there, especially with the internet, that can tell us how to live our best lives; guide us how to do things right and show us how to create the lives we want.

I believe that each and everyone of us already has inside of us everything we need to do this our own way.  All of our paths are different.  Yet, most of us yearn for happiness, fulfillment, laughter and togetherness or connection. 

When we go deep inside of ourselves and allow ourselves to feel and follow what we feel through love and trust, beauty happens.  It just is. 

This is the life change that I want for each and everyone of us.

May you start with knowing and allowing yourself to thrive and live today from your innermost level of who you are.

                                         a place of peace and harmony for all living creatures