Be U: Dare to Allow Your Dreams to Come to Fruition

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Dare to Allow Your Dreams to Come to Fruition

If you take time to notice; I'm thinking that there are many coincidences; things lining up; things repeating themselves and signs showing us our way or confirming that we are on the right path. If nothing else, I find these kinds of things fun, interesting and exciting.

Just wish one of the 'coincidences' I encounter would 'fix' me already.! (I know, I'm the one telling myself that I broken. I better stop this!)

I went to the tarot cards again this morning after my HOLD ON/roller coaster ride posts. I went with the intent to pick a card with the question in my head of what does the holding on mean or is there something more I can do or know.

While using the Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place book, "The Alchemical Tarot", I ended up picking two cards instead of one.

Here goes:

The Wheel of Fortune
Tarot Wisdom: "What goes up must come down. The rise and fall of fate can seem like an unending trap, but as we move to the centre of the wheel, our ups and downs become less extreme, and finally, at the axle, we can reach the stillness at the centre of our being. From this vantage the fluctuations of the fixed and volatile can be seen as the essential rhythm of life. Like its Eastern counterpart, the yin-yang symbol, this image itself can serve as a subject of contemplation to help in attaining a state of calm. Meanwhile, the fact that everything changes often works in our favour, so this can be considered a card of good fortune."

Three of Coins
Tarot Wisdom: "The card suggests an artist who works for the establishment, or who works at a salaried position. It signifies creativity with security and stability. It also presents bringing the unconscious, in terms of creativity and ideas, into the physical plane. The salt coin, which is over the centre column, denotes stability, for in order to express the unconscious, you need stability in life. The message might relate to receiving patronage or contracts for your creative work, with a minimum risk on your part. The message also could relate to work you have done in the past, or will do in the future depending on the cards' position in a spread."

May you dare to dream; dare to share your dream; and dare to feel your dream from inside of you as you dare to make it grow. (there's a lot of daring going on here for me! - perhaps, it can be simpler for you!)

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!