I am dealing with issues from childhood because they are right in front of my face with a sick father again. It's amazing how quickly I can go back to being 9 again emotionally.
I have to tell myself I am not a little lost girl. I am a grown adult woman who can now take care of herself and turn in whatever direction I choose.
Oh, the 9 year old pulls on me though.
However, the adult woman will win out. There is no option other than this.
How old are you today..... emotionally?
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Inner Truth
What if our inner truth was here for a reason. What if the reason was to empower ourselves and others.
What if by sharing our own inner truth of what we feel, how we think, what we need and who we are empowers others to be a happier and, perhaps, even most authentic.
I am finding that when I share what I am really feeling, thinking, and needing; it seems like these wonderful, open, loving, powerful people come back to me and do the same. The connection that occurs is priceless.
I don't know where it goes from here; but I do know, in the moment, it feels most real and more peaceful than anything else I've encountered.
It is most magical.
Are you ready for some magic?
Montreal Gardens Sculpture
What if by sharing our own inner truth of what we feel, how we think, what we need and who we are empowers others to be a happier and, perhaps, even most authentic.
I am finding that when I share what I am really feeling, thinking, and needing; it seems like these wonderful, open, loving, powerful people come back to me and do the same. The connection that occurs is priceless.
I don't know where it goes from here; but I do know, in the moment, it feels most real and more peaceful than anything else I've encountered.
It is most magical.
Are you ready for some magic?
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Backwards?
No majestic-ness here in this moment. I canceled my one appointment because someone needed me. Oh man. Then, after I cancelled my appointment, the person didn't need me anymore. Wowza. I guess I will consider this a lesson that will help me do better or different in the future. Either that or be happy that I was willing to help someone and not angry that I put myself last again. I chose to make what I wanted/needed not matter. I chose to do this. This is the choice that I chose. I want to choose to know contentment.
What an interesting learning for me today.
Habits are certainly hard to break. I am counting on them not being impossible, however. I want to keep my habits that work for me and change or lose the habits that do not. I want to have a small reserved amount of energy within no matter what.
Where does one find balance...
What do you do when you find yourself angry that you didn't choose better?
What an interesting learning for me today.
Habits are certainly hard to break. I am counting on them not being impossible, however. I want to keep my habits that work for me and change or lose the habits that do not. I want to have a small reserved amount of energy within no matter what.
Where does one find balance...
What do you do when you find yourself angry that you didn't choose better?
Stand Anew
Just trying to stand anew; wobbly as I may be. I'm trying my hardest to Trust that I am all that I need. I want it to be easy. However, for me, in this moment... it is not. AND I am doing it.
Do you trust that you are all that you need?
My wish is that I stop questioning my inner self and just live who I am and be as majestic as I can. I want to live being connected to all that is good.
How majestic are you today? I know you have it in you!
Do you trust that you are all that you need?
My wish is that I stop questioning my inner self and just live who I am and be as majestic as I can. I want to live being connected to all that is good.
How majestic are you today? I know you have it in you!
Deer Farm in Poland
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
OKAY NOW
I realized today that it's time for me to own my spot in my world; to breathe in life and to function. I remembered way back when, that I absolutely, unequivocally stated that I will not feel again. I remember saying and knowing that I won't feel the really good stuff, however, it is okay because I won't feel the horrible stuff and I definitely never want to feel the horrible again.
Now, all these decades later, I AM READY TO FEEL. I have many more tools and much more maturity (I hope, ha) than I did when I was a young girl and I can handle whatever life gives me now. Proof is that I am still here!
When we are young, we depend on so many others to keep us safe, feed us, teach us, and take care of us. Sometimes, even how to feel and be. No one is perfect. No one can give us 100% what we need or want. BUT WE CAN, IF WE CHOOSE.
We, as adults, have a choice. I didn't always choose best. Luckily, there is always a new day to choose better. There possibly isn't a better time than the present. (maybe that's why it is called the "present")
I am ready to choose good for me, for my people, for my animals, for my environment and for my world.
I choose living and I choose to be what God made me. I know deep down what and who I am. I always did. I just really had a hard time bringing it to the surface. I am now ready to try. I am now ready to honor the person that I am here to be.
Oh, that's big words....I hope I can live them.
Are you ready to be and do what you came here for? Perhaps, you already are.
I hope we can all do it collectively and help each other and allow each other through understanding and love.
Now, all these decades later, I AM READY TO FEEL. I have many more tools and much more maturity (I hope, ha) than I did when I was a young girl and I can handle whatever life gives me now. Proof is that I am still here!
When we are young, we depend on so many others to keep us safe, feed us, teach us, and take care of us. Sometimes, even how to feel and be. No one is perfect. No one can give us 100% what we need or want. BUT WE CAN, IF WE CHOOSE.
We, as adults, have a choice. I didn't always choose best. Luckily, there is always a new day to choose better. There possibly isn't a better time than the present. (maybe that's why it is called the "present")
I am ready to choose good for me, for my people, for my animals, for my environment and for my world.
I choose living and I choose to be what God made me. I know deep down what and who I am. I always did. I just really had a hard time bringing it to the surface. I am now ready to try. I am now ready to honor the person that I am here to be.
Oh, that's big words....I hope I can live them.
Are you ready to be and do what you came here for? Perhaps, you already are.
I hope we can all do it collectively and help each other and allow each other through understanding and love.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Weak and Dizzy
I'm not having the best day today. I am weak and dizzy. My head 'cracks' everytime I move it. It feels heavy and tight.
I have much fear with me today. It's holding my arms tight above my elbows for some reason. It has a great hold on my upper back.
I woke up and my arms were so noticeable and heavy. My fingers felt like they were dethawing with cold air and pins and needles around them.
I am uncomfortable everywhere. In my body and anywhere my body is.
I cannot find comfort. I find myself weening off the pain pills. I went from 1.5 to 1 in the last three days. It would amaze me that this little bit (5 mg) can make a huge impact, but I'm feeling like it maybe can.
Almost two years ago, I was taking 10 a day. In February 2010 I went from those 10 a day to 3 a day in one week. Oh, that was healthy and fun! (I started working with a doctor to change my body chemistry Sept. 09. I have had the same Rheumatologist since 1981. I have seen many, many doctors in between this time.) I was away in FL and it was everything I could do to get to a grocery store.
So, I took 3 a day for a time. I've been taking 1.5 a day for maybe 6 months. Now, for the past three days, I'm taking one a day. I've always felt guilt associated with taking pain pills. I never just accepted that I needed them. I was grateful I had them. I felt like I wouldn't have been getting out of bed and living otherwise.
I'm sure this has something to do with where I'm at today. How can it not?
So, I am trying to accept where I am at, own where I am at (even as I write it I feel resistance) and grow from here. Grow to my happier place.
Being human is quite the ride! I know my body, mind, and spirit all need to live in harmony. It is finding this harmony that can be excruciating for moments at a time. However, harmony is always within reach if I allow myself to be patient, gentle, open, kind and loving inside and out.
How patient, open, kind and loving are you being/feeling today?
I have much fear with me today. It's holding my arms tight above my elbows for some reason. It has a great hold on my upper back.
I woke up and my arms were so noticeable and heavy. My fingers felt like they were dethawing with cold air and pins and needles around them.
I am uncomfortable everywhere. In my body and anywhere my body is.
I cannot find comfort. I find myself weening off the pain pills. I went from 1.5 to 1 in the last three days. It would amaze me that this little bit (5 mg) can make a huge impact, but I'm feeling like it maybe can.
Almost two years ago, I was taking 10 a day. In February 2010 I went from those 10 a day to 3 a day in one week. Oh, that was healthy and fun! (I started working with a doctor to change my body chemistry Sept. 09. I have had the same Rheumatologist since 1981. I have seen many, many doctors in between this time.) I was away in FL and it was everything I could do to get to a grocery store.
So, I took 3 a day for a time. I've been taking 1.5 a day for maybe 6 months. Now, for the past three days, I'm taking one a day. I've always felt guilt associated with taking pain pills. I never just accepted that I needed them. I was grateful I had them. I felt like I wouldn't have been getting out of bed and living otherwise.
I'm sure this has something to do with where I'm at today. How can it not?
So, I am trying to accept where I am at, own where I am at (even as I write it I feel resistance) and grow from here. Grow to my happier place.
Being human is quite the ride! I know my body, mind, and spirit all need to live in harmony. It is finding this harmony that can be excruciating for moments at a time. However, harmony is always within reach if I allow myself to be patient, gentle, open, kind and loving inside and out.
How patient, open, kind and loving are you being/feeling today?
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Truth Isn't Created, It is Lived
This is from a book called "Lit from Within" by Victoria Moran. I find it a brilliant story to know as we move forward living our truth.
"I was five years old when I told my first lie. I came home from kindergarten and Dede, the woman who looked after me, asked what my class had done that day. The same old 'coloring, songs, and snack' sounded so mundane. Then I remembered that the fourth and fifth graders got to go once a week to a stable for riding lessons, and I blurted out, "We rode horses." I instantly felt that I'd just been expelled from Eden with Adam and Eve. With those three words, I left innocence behind me and I knew it. Sitting at the kitchen table with two sandwich cookies and a glass of milk, I had the strange sense that my childhood had just ended. Subsequent lies didn't have nearly the effect of that first one, and I grew into depending and self-deluding rationalizations to make me feel more important, get me out of what I didn't want to do, or save face. In retrospect, they never saved anything, but they did become so natural that when a spiritual director told me, "dont' lie, period, ever, for any reason," I was amazed by his fervor on the subject. "GOD IS TRUTH" he told me "and the only way you can get to God is through the truth. If you don't want to do that, stop wasting my time." "
"His truthfulness formula was (1) to clear up any damage done by past untruths as best I could; (2) to commit to speaking the truth and admit it immediately when I missed the mark, which he assured me I would; and (3) to accept the truth - about myself, my past my present, and my circumstances. I tried, failing every bit as often as he'd said I would. But after a while, my life felt cleaner, lighter. It wasn't quite like returning to the golden time before the horse-back riding tale, but I knew that if I stayed firm in my resolve, it would bring me as close to that as I could get. Truthfulness is pretty simple; it's not fictionalizing reality. It's also being open to a higher degree of truth that what may be visible in the moment."
"Truthfulness should never be used as an excuse to hurt another person; it also does not require telling anyone anything that is none of their business. What honesty does ask is that we speak truthfully when we choose to speak; that we temper our words with all the kindness we can muster; and that we look at reality straight on, accept what we've got, and build from."
Thank you Victoria Moran. I say "HAPPY BUILDING"!
Are you building your life on the truth of who you are?
Are you building your life on the truth of who you are?
Tired
The amount of tired in my brain and body is amazing. How I dislike admitting this. How I wish I had energy to have fun; to explore; to share myself.
After 3 long phone calls, I am drained; I need to turn off; I need to unplug.
I bet if I was out doing something that I consider completely enjoyable, I wouldn't be so tired.
I told myself when I had my child; I'll happily give up the first few years of my way of living (doing whatever I chose) to create a new way of living (doing whatever I thought was necessary for my baby) so my child can have all the attention, love, pampering, guidance, learning she could possibly have. It worked. I loved it. I enjoyed every minute of it. I hope it was a great start of life here on earth for her.
Now, however, I have to relearn how to do me. I have to relearn how to pick my way of life; my happy path without her so much.
She is spreading her wings and her beauty surrounding those wings is awesome and fabulous to watch.
I have to pluck my wings out and spruce them up and get on with my individuality as well. I want to do this for me. I want to do this for her. I want her to be able to do this (live happily) easily when she is my age. I want to do this for my husband so he doesn't have the burden of me anymore. (I wonder if he would really call it a burden...guess I have to ask).
Anyway, I'm not certain how much of my tiredness is my disease and how much of my tiredness is boredom. I know it is not one or the other. I know this much.
I never knew I'd have to learn to fly again. I guess there may be many times in life we have to learn to fly again. When we lose what we know as normal; when we lose a loved one; when we encounter a different path than what we had all planned out so perfectly, we have to learn to fly again.
The beauty of us humans is we can always learn to fly again. We always learn to fly again until we don't. We may take some time to hatch or re-hatch, however, the ability to fly is always within our reach. We just have to reach for it.
This is what I believe.
Are you flying as high, as easily, as you can?
*by fly, I mean getting your happy on; living your inner knowing!
After 3 long phone calls, I am drained; I need to turn off; I need to unplug.
I bet if I was out doing something that I consider completely enjoyable, I wouldn't be so tired.
I told myself when I had my child; I'll happily give up the first few years of my way of living (doing whatever I chose) to create a new way of living (doing whatever I thought was necessary for my baby) so my child can have all the attention, love, pampering, guidance, learning she could possibly have. It worked. I loved it. I enjoyed every minute of it. I hope it was a great start of life here on earth for her.
Now, however, I have to relearn how to do me. I have to relearn how to pick my way of life; my happy path without her so much.
She is spreading her wings and her beauty surrounding those wings is awesome and fabulous to watch.
I have to pluck my wings out and spruce them up and get on with my individuality as well. I want to do this for me. I want to do this for her. I want her to be able to do this (live happily) easily when she is my age. I want to do this for my husband so he doesn't have the burden of me anymore. (I wonder if he would really call it a burden...guess I have to ask).
Anyway, I'm not certain how much of my tiredness is my disease and how much of my tiredness is boredom. I know it is not one or the other. I know this much.
I never knew I'd have to learn to fly again. I guess there may be many times in life we have to learn to fly again. When we lose what we know as normal; when we lose a loved one; when we encounter a different path than what we had all planned out so perfectly, we have to learn to fly again.
The beauty of us humans is we can always learn to fly again. We always learn to fly again until we don't. We may take some time to hatch or re-hatch, however, the ability to fly is always within our reach. We just have to reach for it.
This is what I believe.
Are you flying as high, as easily, as you can?
*by fly, I mean getting your happy on; living your inner knowing!
Park
Oh what fun it is to go to an amusement park. The rides, the joy, the walking, the people, the food, the games.... what more does a person need to have FUN.
The 'zipper' used to be my favorite ride a long time ago. I don't think I ever went on it without my eyes closed however. I always kept my eyes closed and laughed and laughed. The log flume is always fun too; the anticipation of how wet I'd get or not get. The slow and fast speeds of the roller coaster and the ever relaxing, kick back look around to make sure I don't miss anything high ferris wheel.
The boardwalk was always a fun spot too. Walking along the beach everyone just looking to share the joy of funnel cakes, caramel apples, hitting the mole in the hole! Pizza was probably my favorite. I still like it!
Way back we used to see how many people we could fit in the booth to have our picture taken and to see how many different funny faces we could make. Now, we have cameras with us everywhere we go.
I never really people watched. I have a funny idea that I could people watch now. I always wanted to be in the center of the activity. I think now, at times, I'd like to just view the activity.
Times change, People change, Life changes. The one constant thing is me. I am the only person I will be with the length of my life.
I'd like to be a fun, loving, open, warm person to hang with. Good news is I can be this person. Good news is I am this person. Bad news is there are other parts of me that want to participate as well.
Is it all about the balance? If I can no longer ignore ALL of me; how about I choose to accept all of me.
Mmmm. That's the ticket. Now, just to do it!
Do you accept all of you? Do you want to give it your best shot to love all of you? Would your life and your inner being be more peaceful if you accepted all of you?
Does it seem easier to see, know and connect to the good in other people more than the good in yourself? If so, where does this come from? Whose belief is this really? Can it be changed?
If you see total good in yourself; are you able to see it in other people as well?
What is the real truth. Someone told me today that "you can only depend on yourself"? Is this true? Have you ever depended on another and they were there for you? Have you ever depended on yourself and you came through also?
Maybe it IS all possible.........
The 'zipper' used to be my favorite ride a long time ago. I don't think I ever went on it without my eyes closed however. I always kept my eyes closed and laughed and laughed. The log flume is always fun too; the anticipation of how wet I'd get or not get. The slow and fast speeds of the roller coaster and the ever relaxing, kick back look around to make sure I don't miss anything high ferris wheel.
The boardwalk was always a fun spot too. Walking along the beach everyone just looking to share the joy of funnel cakes, caramel apples, hitting the mole in the hole! Pizza was probably my favorite. I still like it!
Way back we used to see how many people we could fit in the booth to have our picture taken and to see how many different funny faces we could make. Now, we have cameras with us everywhere we go.
I never really people watched. I have a funny idea that I could people watch now. I always wanted to be in the center of the activity. I think now, at times, I'd like to just view the activity.
Times change, People change, Life changes. The one constant thing is me. I am the only person I will be with the length of my life.
I'd like to be a fun, loving, open, warm person to hang with. Good news is I can be this person. Good news is I am this person. Bad news is there are other parts of me that want to participate as well.
Is it all about the balance? If I can no longer ignore ALL of me; how about I choose to accept all of me.
Mmmm. That's the ticket. Now, just to do it!
Do you accept all of you? Do you want to give it your best shot to love all of you? Would your life and your inner being be more peaceful if you accepted all of you?
Does it seem easier to see, know and connect to the good in other people more than the good in yourself? If so, where does this come from? Whose belief is this really? Can it be changed?
If you see total good in yourself; are you able to see it in other people as well?
What is the real truth. Someone told me today that "you can only depend on yourself"? Is this true? Have you ever depended on another and they were there for you? Have you ever depended on yourself and you came through also?
Maybe it IS all possible.........
Saturday, September 24, 2011
To Ignore or Not To Ignore
I was out this morning walking my beautiful Durby when two people happened by.
I said "Good morning - it's pretty wet out here." One said back to me "We are ignoring it."
Ha. Yes, that works!
I realize that alot of us humans are very good at 'ignoring'. If I don't like it; if I don't want to deal with it, I ignore it so that I feel/believe like it's really not there. Mmmmm
I'm realizing that I'm losing this ability. I am choosing to lose it. I am finding it harder to ignore what is right in front of me.
I'm not sure if this is a curse or a blessing. Maybe it's neither.
However, this is where I am currently. It is quite interesting. It is quite overwhelming. It is quite a hoot.
Is there something(s) that it is now time for you to stop ignoring?
Ignore (ask.com)(dictionary.com is having technical difficulties-can't ignore that)
"to take no notice of"
"Ignorance is Bliss" (anonymous) ... is it?
I said "Good morning - it's pretty wet out here." One said back to me "We are ignoring it."
Ha. Yes, that works!
I realize that alot of us humans are very good at 'ignoring'. If I don't like it; if I don't want to deal with it, I ignore it so that I feel/believe like it's really not there. Mmmmm
I'm realizing that I'm losing this ability. I am choosing to lose it. I am finding it harder to ignore what is right in front of me.
I'm not sure if this is a curse or a blessing. Maybe it's neither.
However, this is where I am currently. It is quite interesting. It is quite overwhelming. It is quite a hoot.
Is there something(s) that it is now time for you to stop ignoring?
Ignore (ask.com)(dictionary.com is having technical difficulties-can't ignore that)
"to take no notice of"
"Ignorance is Bliss" (anonymous) ... is it?
Pushing Through
Oh, the dreary, wet days and nights we are having. There seems to be such a calm, quietness outside.
To me, it seems like things are just flowing through, hanging in and going by.
My pond water is just flowing through it's man-made maze. The leaves are just hanging on the trees not thirsty at all. I found a poor baby frog dead in the pond today. I'm thinking it is the one I took out of the pool yesterday and placed it near the pond. Another baby frog was taken out of the pool this morning and I put this one over by the pond as well. I hope it is going to be okay. Usually they are fine.
I notice the red berries on the holly trees are becoming more pronounced and acorns are falling like acorns are supposed to fall. There were two baby deer in my yard yesterday. My dogs had fun chasing them away. The deer jumped so majestically over the fence to flee. The jump itself looked like the deer froze in the air with such graceful ease. It was beautiful.
There is a peacefulness around my home. A quietness of just what is. A weighty-ness if you will.
I'm just owning my place, my standing; the creation of myself here where I am. No easy feat. AND completely doable.
I find peace in acceptance of what is. I find joy in building a new life in addition to what already works for me. I find excitement in the unknown.
I find that if I believe that whatever it is that comes in front of me; I can handle (or even not handle) and still be okay; I can embrace or discard by what feels like love and I can evolve to whatever my capacity of evolving is in the moment.
We have all been through our struggles and our awesome wonders. This is life. If I just choose to continue on; I will continue to be.
May you choose to continue on the path(s) that bring(s) you to your ultimate self.
To me, it seems like things are just flowing through, hanging in and going by.
My pond water is just flowing through it's man-made maze. The leaves are just hanging on the trees not thirsty at all. I found a poor baby frog dead in the pond today. I'm thinking it is the one I took out of the pool yesterday and placed it near the pond. Another baby frog was taken out of the pool this morning and I put this one over by the pond as well. I hope it is going to be okay. Usually they are fine.
I notice the red berries on the holly trees are becoming more pronounced and acorns are falling like acorns are supposed to fall. There were two baby deer in my yard yesterday. My dogs had fun chasing them away. The deer jumped so majestically over the fence to flee. The jump itself looked like the deer froze in the air with such graceful ease. It was beautiful.
There is a peacefulness around my home. A quietness of just what is. A weighty-ness if you will.
I'm just owning my place, my standing; the creation of myself here where I am. No easy feat. AND completely doable.
I find peace in acceptance of what is. I find joy in building a new life in addition to what already works for me. I find excitement in the unknown.
I find that if I believe that whatever it is that comes in front of me; I can handle (or even not handle) and still be okay; I can embrace or discard by what feels like love and I can evolve to whatever my capacity of evolving is in the moment.
We have all been through our struggles and our awesome wonders. This is life. If I just choose to continue on; I will continue to be.
May you choose to continue on the path(s) that bring(s) you to your ultimate self.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Ch Ch Ch Changes
I believe we, as a world, are in a time of great change. I believe we, as a world, can create anything that we choose. I believe we, as a world, are ready for a better way all around. I believe, we as a world, can know our own paradise here on earth.
A way of truth. A way of love. A way of true humanness.
We are forced, if not ready, to look at the reality of what has been handed down to us; the reality of what we have created.
We are forced, if not ready, to look at the life we are living and accept its truth. Our truth in all it's glory, all its failures, all its strengths and all its weakness.
We all have them. We all have glory, failure, strength and weakness.
I know, for me, I can't (no matter how hard I resist) ignore my truth any longer. I am forced to see the total picture of me. I am forced to try to live the total picture of me.
This is good news. This is hard news. This is the news I choose to pay attention to. This is the news that can make my head spin.
I sit on every square foot of the see-saw of my life. I am in every aspect of finding the balance that works best for me to keep the see-saw straight. It rarely is completely level. I want to learn to be okay, trusting and as cool as possible as I find the weight of myself (all of me) on this greatly changing earth.
Know what it feels like to be in each others' shoes. -- As I was walking away from my television the other day, I heard the President of the United States say this. Maybe it's time to know what it feels like to be in each others' shoes. I wanted to applaud. I believe there is so much right here in front of us anymore that it is hard to ignore others. Oh, some of us still do it brilliantly, however, it is harder than it ever was.
What if caring what another person feels is the answer to our own suffering? I have learned that we cannot fix it or even change it greatly for the other person long-term. We all have to be responsible for our own thoughts, actions and life as it is. However, we can show validation and as much understanding as possible of another person; yes?
How much of your whole self are you showing to the world and how much are you open to know others?
Where does this land on your own see-saw of life and where would you like it to land?
(ChChChChanges - David Bowie)
A way of truth. A way of love. A way of true humanness.
We are forced, if not ready, to look at the reality of what has been handed down to us; the reality of what we have created.
We are forced, if not ready, to look at the life we are living and accept its truth. Our truth in all it's glory, all its failures, all its strengths and all its weakness.
We all have them. We all have glory, failure, strength and weakness.
I know, for me, I can't (no matter how hard I resist) ignore my truth any longer. I am forced to see the total picture of me. I am forced to try to live the total picture of me.
This is good news. This is hard news. This is the news I choose to pay attention to. This is the news that can make my head spin.
I sit on every square foot of the see-saw of my life. I am in every aspect of finding the balance that works best for me to keep the see-saw straight. It rarely is completely level. I want to learn to be okay, trusting and as cool as possible as I find the weight of myself (all of me) on this greatly changing earth.
Know what it feels like to be in each others' shoes. -- As I was walking away from my television the other day, I heard the President of the United States say this. Maybe it's time to know what it feels like to be in each others' shoes. I wanted to applaud. I believe there is so much right here in front of us anymore that it is hard to ignore others. Oh, some of us still do it brilliantly, however, it is harder than it ever was.
What if caring what another person feels is the answer to our own suffering? I have learned that we cannot fix it or even change it greatly for the other person long-term. We all have to be responsible for our own thoughts, actions and life as it is. However, we can show validation and as much understanding as possible of another person; yes?
How much of your whole self are you showing to the world and how much are you open to know others?
Where does this land on your own see-saw of life and where would you like it to land?
(ChChChChanges - David Bowie)
Thursday, September 22, 2011
A Day
Today is a day for me to just be. It's the last day of summer here where I live. Fall begins tomorrow.
It is dark; the rain is threatening and it's a quiet kind of day.
The dogs are playful; the family is up and about.
I am enjoying what is around me. I am happy.
What simple things make you happy? May you allow yourself to enjoy them today.
It is dark; the rain is threatening and it's a quiet kind of day.
The dogs are playful; the family is up and about.
I am enjoying what is around me. I am happy.
What simple things make you happy? May you allow yourself to enjoy them today.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Starfish
In my salt water fish tank, my adult starfish seems to be having babies, babies, babies. Today, when the expert that takes care of the tank came, he moved rocks around and said there must be at least twenty or so babies. Wow. I couldn't believe it and I'm really glad for the experience.
Of course, I had to do research to see the spiritual meaning of starfish and this is what I found:
Starfish:
Shows how to maneuver successfully in all situations. It is very agile and extremely strong. The Starfish has amazing regenerative properties and usually comes back stronger and more abundantly. If Starfish shows itself to you, something in your life may take years to regenerate; however, you will be stronger and better for it. Starfish shows how by following your emotions, you can propel yourself forward through perserverance and stubborn determination all along the way. The wisdom of Starfish aids to use everything you have to live your true you. (internet search and my own words)Another interpretation is "a period of healing and regeneration". (dreammoods.com)
Also "represents the Virgin Mary (Stella Maris which means Star of the Sea) who creates safe travel over troubled waters and is also seen as an emblem of salvation during trying times. The Starfish can also be seen as celestial symbol and as such, represents infinite divine love. In addition to love, the Starfish also holds characteristics such as guidance, vigilance, inspiration, brilliance and intuition." (answers.com)
In truth, I find myself exhausted again. I also, again, am questioning my sanity.
May you own what you feel inside and allow it to be real and true for you, and respond accordingly.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Where I'm At
Mmmmmm. Good question. I don't quite know where I am currently. One minute, I'm feeling euphoric, hopeful and excited; the next I'm in the most trying of places.
I truly feel like I'm not the person I was and I'm not quite yet the person I am going to be. I believe alot of us may be able to say this same exact thing.
I am in a state of upheaval and cannot see very far ahead. I feel a big picture of jubilee and enthusiasm. I don't know what road(s) I am taking to get there. I truly believe I will get there, however.
In the meantime, I'm just going to trust the process; the road I started many, many, many years ago. I always believed I was going to change my health circumstances and live a completely healthy and full life.
I believe that I had this previous, sometimes dark, road to prepare me for the upcoming time of my life in helping others and making the best out of everything. I always just tried to feel connected to everything and everyone in the light or positive spirit. It was always important to me. (even before I was aware of its importance I found myself working towards this)
So, as my head spins and my brain rushes, I trust that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. How thrilling and how terrifying.
Am I really this complex or is this simplicity? I truly do not know. It is my truth; of this, I am certain.
Are you living your truth?
I truly feel like I'm not the person I was and I'm not quite yet the person I am going to be. I believe alot of us may be able to say this same exact thing.
I am in a state of upheaval and cannot see very far ahead. I feel a big picture of jubilee and enthusiasm. I don't know what road(s) I am taking to get there. I truly believe I will get there, however.
In the meantime, I'm just going to trust the process; the road I started many, many, many years ago. I always believed I was going to change my health circumstances and live a completely healthy and full life.
I believe that I had this previous, sometimes dark, road to prepare me for the upcoming time of my life in helping others and making the best out of everything. I always just tried to feel connected to everything and everyone in the light or positive spirit. It was always important to me. (even before I was aware of its importance I found myself working towards this)
So, as my head spins and my brain rushes, I trust that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. How thrilling and how terrifying.
Am I really this complex or is this simplicity? I truly do not know. It is my truth; of this, I am certain.
Are you living your truth?
Monday, September 19, 2011
Monday 9/19; is it Chaotic 4 U
I've talked to a few people this morning and we all seemed to have a pretty abnormal morning. Either unexpected news, problems with technology and just un-calm in our morning.
I am feeling like the we need to hold on tight, be ourselves and come through this changing of our world together.
I wish us all hope, strength, love and the ability to follow our own inner knowing as we learn to unite in a new togetherness.
We are in such a rare opportunity to learn, grow and evolve.
Hold On AND Let Go. (figure this one out - I wish I knew what I was talking about)
I mean stand strong for, perhaps, the fight of our lives and, yet, let go of who and what we ultimately are and feel by being open to sharing our inner selves with each other.
There is so much information in our brains... Is the question 'what are we going do to with it?'
I am feeling like the we need to hold on tight, be ourselves and come through this changing of our world together.
I wish us all hope, strength, love and the ability to follow our own inner knowing as we learn to unite in a new togetherness.
We are in such a rare opportunity to learn, grow and evolve.
Hold On AND Let Go. (figure this one out - I wish I knew what I was talking about)
I mean stand strong for, perhaps, the fight of our lives and, yet, let go of who and what we ultimately are and feel by being open to sharing our inner selves with each other.
There is so much information in our brains... Is the question 'what are we going do to with it?'
Sunday, September 18, 2011
7 of Diamonds
I just looked up a playing card. I picked the 7 of Diamonds.
It's meaning reads "consistent effort eventually pays off".
Can't make this stuff up. Too fun.
May your consistent effort pay off soon.
It's meaning reads "consistent effort eventually pays off".
Can't make this stuff up. Too fun.
May your consistent effort pay off soon.
Waking Up
Waking up this morning, I felt ready and excited about getting the day started. I felt a little bit of energy and easy willingness that I hadn't felt other mornings.
It was a beautiful morning. The sky was bright blue and clear; the air was fresh and alive. My oldest dog walked long and we both enjoyed being outside.
I found myself moving and doing more than usual. I was down in my yoga room, walked the dog and did some yardwork outside.
THEN, my eyesight went a little wacky.
When I was pregnant many moons ago, I would get this 'bottlecap light' blocking my eyesight for about 20 minutes. I figured that the hormones I am taking to replicate pregnancy must be right on if this was happening to me now. When I was pregnant, I showed no symptoms of scleroderma, so my doctor and I decided it is certainly worth a shot to 'play' with progesterone and see if it can help my pain, energy and skin issues.
Oh, my body surely can mess with me. It feels like that I get going and something tells me NO, not yet.
Balance. I am trying to find balance in mind, body, spirit and living. Sometimes, it surely is ever evasive.
However, I know it is also part of me.
How is the balance in your life today?
It was a beautiful morning. The sky was bright blue and clear; the air was fresh and alive. My oldest dog walked long and we both enjoyed being outside.
I found myself moving and doing more than usual. I was down in my yoga room, walked the dog and did some yardwork outside.
THEN, my eyesight went a little wacky.
When I was pregnant many moons ago, I would get this 'bottlecap light' blocking my eyesight for about 20 minutes. I figured that the hormones I am taking to replicate pregnancy must be right on if this was happening to me now. When I was pregnant, I showed no symptoms of scleroderma, so my doctor and I decided it is certainly worth a shot to 'play' with progesterone and see if it can help my pain, energy and skin issues.
Oh, my body surely can mess with me. It feels like that I get going and something tells me NO, not yet.
Balance. I am trying to find balance in mind, body, spirit and living. Sometimes, it surely is ever evasive.
However, I know it is also part of me.
How is the balance in your life today?
Tarot Fun
Last night, after I newly posted and also updated my "Fear You" post about my greatest fear being public speaking and, yet, recently voicing that I believe my greatest calling is to help others by speaking, I found myself feeling pretty scared. (what an interesting realization for me) It takes me back to when I first started teaching aerobics class and my biggest fear was getting in front of the class!
I turned to the tarot cards that I had purchased several years back and asked outloud 'where do I go from here?' and I picked two cards by spreading them all out face down and closing my eyes and just allowing my hand to cross over and above them. When I felt heat, I stopped and picked each card.
This is what came up.
"The Moon - The Moon represents the night before the dawn. It is a time of patience, rest and reflection, in which the soft energies of the moon compel us to enter the waters of the unconscious, the heart of the mystery. As the embodiment of the white stone, the Moon represents a level of mastery in which we are in control of our actions, because we are conscious of psychological influences which remain unconscious to others. We have been purified, and now enjoy freedom of choice in our activities and patient acceptance of the activities of others. As it says in the I Ching, 'strength is on the inside, and glad acceptance is on the outside'. However, at this level there can be a coldness or flattening of the emotions, because we still need to fully integrate our libido; and so we wait for dawn."
"Lady of Staffs - You are fascinated by light and energy, and have a sense of appreciation and wonder. You have mastered the art of graceful movement in all ways. You are well suited to start an endeavour in a new area, to make the desert bloom."
When I read these two cards, I take it that I'm on the verge of beginning my next life chapter to begin my journey to help enliven the peace that is within others by knowing and living themselves. My inner work is completed enough that I can help others awaken their innermost selves and live being their true self. I am ready. I want to connect with others that simply want to just be; to live who they were born to be and to share their authentic self. To just 'Be U'.
(below definitions are from dictionary.com)
Libido
noun, plural -dos.
What would you like your 'card' to read and support you with?
*Tarot Cards from Alchemical Tarot by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place
I turned to the tarot cards that I had purchased several years back and asked outloud 'where do I go from here?' and I picked two cards by spreading them all out face down and closing my eyes and just allowing my hand to cross over and above them. When I felt heat, I stopped and picked each card.
This is what came up.
"The Moon - The Moon represents the night before the dawn. It is a time of patience, rest and reflection, in which the soft energies of the moon compel us to enter the waters of the unconscious, the heart of the mystery. As the embodiment of the white stone, the Moon represents a level of mastery in which we are in control of our actions, because we are conscious of psychological influences which remain unconscious to others. We have been purified, and now enjoy freedom of choice in our activities and patient acceptance of the activities of others. As it says in the I Ching, 'strength is on the inside, and glad acceptance is on the outside'. However, at this level there can be a coldness or flattening of the emotions, because we still need to fully integrate our libido; and so we wait for dawn."
"Lady of Staffs - You are fascinated by light and energy, and have a sense of appreciation and wonder. You have mastered the art of graceful movement in all ways. You are well suited to start an endeavour in a new area, to make the desert bloom."
When I read these two cards, I take it that I'm on the verge of beginning my next life chapter to begin my journey to help enliven the peace that is within others by knowing and living themselves. My inner work is completed enough that I can help others awaken their innermost selves and live being their true self. I am ready. I want to connect with others that simply want to just be; to live who they were born to be and to share their authentic self. To just 'Be U'.
(below definitions are from dictionary.com)
Libido
noun, plural -dos.
Psychoanalysis . all of the instinctual energies and desires that are derived from the id..
sexual instinct or sexual drive
ID
noun Psychoanalysis .
the part of the psyche, residing in the unconscious, that is the source of instinctive impulses that seek satisfaction in accordance with the pleasure principle and are modified by the ego and the superego before they are given overt expression.
What would you like your 'card' to read and support you with?
*Tarot Cards from Alchemical Tarot by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Change
The new Fall season is upon us here in the northeast United States region. At least, it surely feels this way today. High of 60 degrees. There is a cool, damp feeling in the air.
I feel it. I don't feel it as strongly as I have in the past. It's not beating me down. Breathing the cooler air is fabulous. It's invigorating and gives me a new feeling of life breathing through me.
The sun is not with us today and the power of it's light is dimmed because of this. The tree leaves look a bit wilted and I see the color yellow throughout some of the green leaves.
The vibrant colors of the fall is miraculous. It turns everything into a beautiful time of year.
I usually start thinking about hibernation and/or Florida. This year I'm still thinking of both and I'm also thinking how cozy it feels to be in sweats and Uggs; how I enjoy the fire in the fireplace.
I am definitely in a different mindset than I have been in the past Fall seasons. I'm hopeful this is promising.
I accept where I am at. The energy to fight who I am and what I feel is decreasing greatly.
The awareness that I have to accept what I'm feeling and thinking as my truth is pretty spectacular to me. To be okay with my truth is truly liberating and peaceful.
May you know the freedom to be you, live you and share you and the peace that this offers.
There is only one you and you are here for a reason. Honor God and live your truth. Let's honor each other and share our truth and accept what is through this. (oh my, now I'm getting preachy!...don't want to go here...) (see how accepting I am...apparently I'm still fighting acceptance of total self) ha!
I feel it. I don't feel it as strongly as I have in the past. It's not beating me down. Breathing the cooler air is fabulous. It's invigorating and gives me a new feeling of life breathing through me.
The sun is not with us today and the power of it's light is dimmed because of this. The tree leaves look a bit wilted and I see the color yellow throughout some of the green leaves.
The vibrant colors of the fall is miraculous. It turns everything into a beautiful time of year.
I usually start thinking about hibernation and/or Florida. This year I'm still thinking of both and I'm also thinking how cozy it feels to be in sweats and Uggs; how I enjoy the fire in the fireplace.
I am definitely in a different mindset than I have been in the past Fall seasons. I'm hopeful this is promising.
I accept where I am at. The energy to fight who I am and what I feel is decreasing greatly.
The awareness that I have to accept what I'm feeling and thinking as my truth is pretty spectacular to me. To be okay with my truth is truly liberating and peaceful.
May you know the freedom to be you, live you and share you and the peace that this offers.
There is only one you and you are here for a reason. Honor God and live your truth. Let's honor each other and share our truth and accept what is through this. (oh my, now I'm getting preachy!...don't want to go here...) (see how accepting I am...apparently I'm still fighting acceptance of total self) ha!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sane or Insane
Sane or Insane - perhaps, we all have a little of both.
"..my family has always believed that when we are faced with large and apparently impossible problems, the best solutions are found by the insane people, not the sensible ones."
Mmmmmm.
(another excerpt from Lisa Kleypas' book "Love in the Afternoon")
What are you working off of today? Ha.
"..my family has always believed that when we are faced with large and apparently impossible problems, the best solutions are found by the insane people, not the sensible ones."
Mmmmmm.
(another excerpt from Lisa Kleypas' book "Love in the Afternoon")
What are you working off of today? Ha.
1854.....today.....is there a difference?
This is from a Lisa Kleypas book entitled "Love in the Afternoon". It was written in 2010 but placed in 1854. Fiction
"It was then that Christopher fully grasped how much he had in common with the men in this family, even though they couldn't have come from more different environments and upbringings. They were all grappling with a rapidly changing world, facing challenges that none of them had been prepared for. All of society was being tumbled and sifted, the old hierarchy crumbling, power shifting to unfamiliar hands. A man could either let himself sink into irrelevance, or step forward to shape the new age that was upon them. The possibilities were both intriguing and exhausting--he saw that in Merripen's face, and in the faces of the others as well. But none of them would shrink from what had to be done."
Bravo Lisa!
I am willing to give our world my best shot.... Are you?
"It was then that Christopher fully grasped how much he had in common with the men in this family, even though they couldn't have come from more different environments and upbringings. They were all grappling with a rapidly changing world, facing challenges that none of them had been prepared for. All of society was being tumbled and sifted, the old hierarchy crumbling, power shifting to unfamiliar hands. A man could either let himself sink into irrelevance, or step forward to shape the new age that was upon them. The possibilities were both intriguing and exhausting--he saw that in Merripen's face, and in the faces of the others as well. But none of them would shrink from what had to be done."
Bravo Lisa!
I am willing to give our world my best shot.... Are you?
Starlight
"Aristotle taught that stars are made of a different matter than the four earthly elements-quintessence-that also happens to be what the human psyche is made of. Which is why man's spirit corresponds to the stars. Perhaps that's not a very scientific view, but I do like the idea that there's a little starlight in each of us."
From the book "Love in the Afternoon" by Lisa Kleypas
What are you doing with your starlight?
Psyche (dictionary.com)
a personification of the soul,
From the book "Love in the Afternoon" by Lisa Kleypas
What are you doing with your starlight?
Psyche (dictionary.com)
a personification of the soul,
the human soul, spirit, or mind.
Chaos Reigns
I am in a complete chaos mode and what I feel could only be described as the great un-calm.
I suppose I have a lot of fight going on inside with what was and what is and just downright being okay with it all.
It surely does not feel good and I have no choice but to ride it out. I have alot of support as I am on this road of uncertainty, confusion, and adventure of paralyzing proportions.
With all this new thinking, believing, seeing and knowing; with trying to allow most of my inner me to be connected and allowed on the outside of myself; I find it a huge struggle to organize it as I find my acceptance to just let it happen.
In other words, I find it a huge struggle to stop the struggle...
If and when chaos reigns in your life, where do you go to for peace?
I suppose I have a lot of fight going on inside with what was and what is and just downright being okay with it all.
It surely does not feel good and I have no choice but to ride it out. I have alot of support as I am on this road of uncertainty, confusion, and adventure of paralyzing proportions.
With all this new thinking, believing, seeing and knowing; with trying to allow most of my inner me to be connected and allowed on the outside of myself; I find it a huge struggle to organize it as I find my acceptance to just let it happen.
In other words, I find it a huge struggle to stop the struggle...
If and when chaos reigns in your life, where do you go to for peace?
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Giving
I am trying to give myself what I need. It seems like rest is what my body and mind keep asking for.
So, luckily, I am able to rest pretty easily compared to many people. I have only one 16 year old child that is very self-sufficient. I do not have to go to work to pay the bills.
I have a big home to take care of with alot of animals and chores and I have help in doing so.
So, I'm feeling very lucky that I can rest. So, I am resting. I am trying not to go anywhere but here in my mind.
See if this is a positive response in my world.
May you be able to hear, know and do what your body and mind are requesting of you.
May we all give ourselves what we need today.
So, luckily, I am able to rest pretty easily compared to many people. I have only one 16 year old child that is very self-sufficient. I do not have to go to work to pay the bills.
I have a big home to take care of with alot of animals and chores and I have help in doing so.
So, I'm feeling very lucky that I can rest. So, I am resting. I am trying not to go anywhere but here in my mind.
See if this is a positive response in my world.
May you be able to hear, know and do what your body and mind are requesting of you.
May we all give ourselves what we need today.
Cooler Weather, Oh My
I don't know if it is the cooler weather that we are feeling here in northeast United States and that we are expecting more of; but I am one hurting woman.
Same old stuff. Achy, body uncomfortable, purple hands, tightness in skin - mostly in the face and hands.
Oh, does this make me so mad. And, mad, most likely, exasperates it; contricts even more. Mmmmmm
So, as I'm going about changing and living and getting on with my life - WHAM - scleroderma symptoms show up and knock me down.
What is a woman to do?
I know - I know - Get Back Up. I'm wondering how many times a human can get back up; how many times I can...
May you always be able to get back up.
Same old stuff. Achy, body uncomfortable, purple hands, tightness in skin - mostly in the face and hands.
Oh, does this make me so mad. And, mad, most likely, exasperates it; contricts even more. Mmmmmm
So, as I'm going about changing and living and getting on with my life - WHAM - scleroderma symptoms show up and knock me down.
What is a woman to do?
I know - I know - Get Back Up. I'm wondering how many times a human can get back up; how many times I can...
May you always be able to get back up.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Change/Growth/Awareness
Seems to me that there is so much awareness in our world. I'm sure it has much to do with technology and connectability.
Every culture/type/way of living is right here at our fingertips.
We are in a great time of opportunity for awareness, growth and change if we choose it.
I say - get your happy on; know your truth and share it; and love yourself forward.
I surely don't believe we've ever had such a greater capacity available to us to be able to be living connected to each other.
I know my life and my relationships are changing as I allow my truth to be known. It truly may be the hardest thing ever and the peace of being myself is a road I hope to continue to go down.
Vulnerability can be a big word and, for me, a bit terrifying. However, if I am truly being me, perhaps no defense is necessary. It is also very liberating, exciting and, just maybe, fear can dissipate from within if I believe that there is no other goal than to be the real me through love.
May you give the gift of yourself to the world. May you know the goal to be you through and in all that you do and are.
Every culture/type/way of living is right here at our fingertips.
We are in a great time of opportunity for awareness, growth and change if we choose it.
I say - get your happy on; know your truth and share it; and love yourself forward.
I surely don't believe we've ever had such a greater capacity available to us to be able to be living connected to each other.
I know my life and my relationships are changing as I allow my truth to be known. It truly may be the hardest thing ever and the peace of being myself is a road I hope to continue to go down.
Vulnerability can be a big word and, for me, a bit terrifying. However, if I am truly being me, perhaps no defense is necessary. It is also very liberating, exciting and, just maybe, fear can dissipate from within if I believe that there is no other goal than to be the real me through love.
May you give the gift of yourself to the world. May you know the goal to be you through and in all that you do and are.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Crazy or Most Sane
I am having some type of day today. I could not/would not/did not get out of bed today. I laid there in silence, not moving, for hours.
First came the 'better get up'. Then came the 'I am really mad at you for not doing better'. Then, finally, I said I'm always saying acceptance and to just allow and follow your truth... So, I thought - 'ok, I'll try this right now'.
I laid and laid and laid. Before I knew it - I was in that 'special' place of not awake and not asleep. I have this belief that this is where most healing happens.
I heard my inner voice saying "As I'm laying here I'm making new, healthy skin and tissue; new healthy skin and tissue; new healthy skin and tissue. This is what my body wanted today." I found myself imagining new healthy skin growing and glowing all over me. From my fingers to my eyes to my scalp to my feet.
I am extremely hesitant to write about this because what if it's not true; what if it doesn't happen; what if I'm crazy.
More than anything - I find it utterly interesting that once I stopped fighting with myself to do other than what I truly wanted to do - I found such a peace, inner being and, perhaps a new skin.
So, there, I wrote it.
What happens when you stop fighting yourself? Any idea?
First came the 'better get up'. Then came the 'I am really mad at you for not doing better'. Then, finally, I said I'm always saying acceptance and to just allow and follow your truth... So, I thought - 'ok, I'll try this right now'.
I laid and laid and laid. Before I knew it - I was in that 'special' place of not awake and not asleep. I have this belief that this is where most healing happens.
I heard my inner voice saying "As I'm laying here I'm making new, healthy skin and tissue; new healthy skin and tissue; new healthy skin and tissue. This is what my body wanted today." I found myself imagining new healthy skin growing and glowing all over me. From my fingers to my eyes to my scalp to my feet.
I am extremely hesitant to write about this because what if it's not true; what if it doesn't happen; what if I'm crazy.
More than anything - I find it utterly interesting that once I stopped fighting with myself to do other than what I truly wanted to do - I found such a peace, inner being and, perhaps a new skin.
So, there, I wrote it.
What happens when you stop fighting yourself? Any idea?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9/11
I honor what 9/11 meant and means to you.
May we take the pain, loss and destruction and find a way to turn it into togetherness, strength and love.
God Bless America; God Bless the World.
May the power of truth that is born with each and everyone of us prevail.
May we take the pain, loss and destruction and find a way to turn it into togetherness, strength and love.
God Bless America; God Bless the World.
May the power of truth that is born with each and everyone of us prevail.
Letting in
Seems like I'm able and willing to let others more freely into my life. I am grateful for this. It is exciting to me. It is scary. AND I am recognizing what I can now label a common feeling of mine as my Defense setting up!
I am grateful that I have the (some) energy to do so. I don't get tired so easily (or drained). It's again exciting to be with, near and together with people for me (a wee bit anyway).
I am in such a whirlwind. Everything is still spinning all around me. I can only grasp so much. I get easily irritated and achy.
I want to honor others. I want to honor myself. I want to honor life.
So many more people are opening up their true lives to me and I DO feel honored. I love the connection. I want to learn better how not to get overwhelmed and take on their life's work. I want to know where they end and I begin; where I end and they begin.
I want us all to be in charge of owning our own 'stuff'. I want us to help each other as we go through our very individual processes and I want us to know our own strength and live it.
I want to share in each other's lives and I want us to live our own life freely and easily. HOW IS THIS DONE? Ha.
I want to do what works best for me and to allow others to do what works best for them. I want, when our paths cross, to share, allow, be open and do my best at understanding.
I want to be there for you and I want to do my best in allowing you to be there for me. I want to let others in.
Let it in, Let it be, Let it go.
I want to say - "here's looking at you kid' and I'm not sure why. And, if I just put a 'guess' as to why - it would be because I don't quite have the grasp I want on this. Another work in progress for me....
How are you at knowing where you begin and end, while being the ultimate true you, while allowing others to meet, mesh and intertwine with you and yet you stay and own all of you through an open heart and open understanding of all?
If anyone can get the totality of this question...can you explain it to me? Ha.
I am grateful that I have the (some) energy to do so. I don't get tired so easily (or drained). It's again exciting to be with, near and together with people for me (a wee bit anyway).
I am in such a whirlwind. Everything is still spinning all around me. I can only grasp so much. I get easily irritated and achy.
I want to honor others. I want to honor myself. I want to honor life.
So many more people are opening up their true lives to me and I DO feel honored. I love the connection. I want to learn better how not to get overwhelmed and take on their life's work. I want to know where they end and I begin; where I end and they begin.
I want us all to be in charge of owning our own 'stuff'. I want us to help each other as we go through our very individual processes and I want us to know our own strength and live it.
I want to share in each other's lives and I want us to live our own life freely and easily. HOW IS THIS DONE? Ha.
I want to do what works best for me and to allow others to do what works best for them. I want, when our paths cross, to share, allow, be open and do my best at understanding.
I want to be there for you and I want to do my best in allowing you to be there for me. I want to let others in.
Let it in, Let it be, Let it go.
I want to say - "here's looking at you kid' and I'm not sure why. And, if I just put a 'guess' as to why - it would be because I don't quite have the grasp I want on this. Another work in progress for me....
How are you at knowing where you begin and end, while being the ultimate true you, while allowing others to meet, mesh and intertwine with you and yet you stay and own all of you through an open heart and open understanding of all?
If anyone can get the totality of this question...can you explain it to me? Ha.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Differentness
"If only I'd known that one day my differentness would be an asset, my early life would have been much easier." Bette Midler
"In opting to take on a physical form, your spiritual self didn't make any mistakes. The body you've got is the one you're supposed to have. From the vantage point of your soul, it is the perfect body to carry you through this lifetime and accomplish what you came here to do."
"Walk proudly, breathe fully, and remember who you are."
From the book "Lit From Within" by Victoria Moran
May you love everything about yourself today and know gratefulness for what your 'everything' has accomplished.
"In opting to take on a physical form, your spiritual self didn't make any mistakes. The body you've got is the one you're supposed to have. From the vantage point of your soul, it is the perfect body to carry you through this lifetime and accomplish what you came here to do."
"Walk proudly, breathe fully, and remember who you are."
From the book "Lit From Within" by Victoria Moran
May you love everything about yourself today and know gratefulness for what your 'everything' has accomplished.
Fear University
I connected to and stayed with 'Fear U' for quite some time after I realized that, perhaps, my greatest fear of public speaking might just coincide with my greatest calling (other than being a mom and wife) here on earth. Oh boy. There is something inside of me thinking, feeling, believing that I will be speaking my truth with others in hope to help others know their truth. 'Others' are encouraging me to do this. I feel great excitement and great fear as I think this.
As my chest was heavy, my breathing shallow and I could feel a freeze surrounding me; something was telling me that I can consider this as Fear U.
I went to author/poet's Mr. Nepo's book, and again, it did not let me down. Too fun! In his book, "The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present in the Life You Have", for September 25; this is what I read.
"To Hunt or Hide"
"If to hunt or hide is twin-edged madness, then faith's the courage to risk and receive. I close my eyes and am impaled by light". Robert Mason
It continues "Imagine that what wakes in you has lived forever,"
"Imagine that once awake you live in a time where there are others you can talk to about this miracle of being alive, others you can laugh with and cry with, others you can love."
"Imagine you can open your eyes and dance in a world where water can fall from the sky, that you can open your throat and song can come from it, that you can find the sun and let it warm the flower of you into being."
"Now open your eyes and receive that it is all true, it is all here, it is all now.."
"It is unavoidably true: hands must be emptied before they can be filled anew. It is the same with our hearts. It is why courage, day by day, is necessary."
I will need an abundance of courage to pull this off... To speak my truth in front of more than one person!
May you dig deep and know and utilize the courage inside of you to achieve anything you can dream; know and be.
Thank you again Mr. Mark Nepo. The man has so much to share; and with such beauty.
As my chest was heavy, my breathing shallow and I could feel a freeze surrounding me; something was telling me that I can consider this as Fear U.
I went to author/poet's Mr. Nepo's book, and again, it did not let me down. Too fun! In his book, "The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present in the Life You Have", for September 25; this is what I read.
"To Hunt or Hide"
"If to hunt or hide is twin-edged madness, then faith's the courage to risk and receive. I close my eyes and am impaled by light". Robert Mason
It continues "Imagine that what wakes in you has lived forever,"
"Imagine that once awake you live in a time where there are others you can talk to about this miracle of being alive, others you can laugh with and cry with, others you can love."
"Imagine you can open your eyes and dance in a world where water can fall from the sky, that you can open your throat and song can come from it, that you can find the sun and let it warm the flower of you into being."
"Now open your eyes and receive that it is all true, it is all here, it is all now.."
"It is unavoidably true: hands must be emptied before they can be filled anew. It is the same with our hearts. It is why courage, day by day, is necessary."
I will need an abundance of courage to pull this off... To speak my truth in front of more than one person!
May you dig deep and know and utilize the courage inside of you to achieve anything you can dream; know and be.
Thank you again Mr. Mark Nepo. The man has so much to share; and with such beauty.
Rumbling
It has been rumbling thunder most of the night. Just a quiet rumble; almost continuously. The amount of rain here has been over the top!
My backyard is drenched. My little teacup Yorkie could swim out there in certain parts of it. It's great fun having the dogs with the constant rain! NOT
I feel a rumbling in my soul as well; my being. I have every hope that this is a good sign; an encouraging sign.
I say come on LIFE - "let's rumble"!
Note: I started writing this post on 9/8 before I wrote the "Do Opposites Attract" post. I just now went into edit this one and it made a lot more sense to me now. Amazing how writing things down even when not understanding them; I learn so much of what I'm thinking, feeling and being. It is all here with me for a reason.
My wish is that you choose to listen to all of you today.
I'd be happy if you would be willing to decide for at least one day to try to not write anything off that you hear and/or think inside of yourself. - I am learning that there is a divine intervention to the totality of what you hear! I am learning that it's all me; it's here for a reason and it all ties in to me being me.
I believe I'd like to phrase this 'the enlightened self'. We all have it. We only have to choose to walk through the door and live it.
May you find yourself **In Light 10** (the highest light that we can shine upon ourselves to know ourselves) Challenge for great fun if nothing else!
My backyard is drenched. My little teacup Yorkie could swim out there in certain parts of it. It's great fun having the dogs with the constant rain! NOT
I feel a rumbling in my soul as well; my being. I have every hope that this is a good sign; an encouraging sign.
I say come on LIFE - "let's rumble"!
Note: I started writing this post on 9/8 before I wrote the "Do Opposites Attract" post. I just now went into edit this one and it made a lot more sense to me now. Amazing how writing things down even when not understanding them; I learn so much of what I'm thinking, feeling and being. It is all here with me for a reason.
My wish is that you choose to listen to all of you today.
I'd be happy if you would be willing to decide for at least one day to try to not write anything off that you hear and/or think inside of yourself. - I am learning that there is a divine intervention to the totality of what you hear! I am learning that it's all me; it's here for a reason and it all ties in to me being me.
I believe I'd like to phrase this 'the enlightened self'. We all have it. We only have to choose to walk through the door and live it.
May you find yourself **In Light 10** (the highest light that we can shine upon ourselves to know ourselves) Challenge for great fun if nothing else!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Present
Being present in the present is a present I like to give myself.
Mmmmm.
Are you allowing your presence in the present to be presents to yourself?
I better go back to the drawing board. Ha.
Mmmmm.
Are you allowing your presence in the present to be presents to yourself?
I better go back to the drawing board. Ha.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Do Opposites Attract?
Today, I have put into words, what I have felt for most of my life from deep within, something that I have never been able to actually know or grasp.
My biggest wish or calling in life is my biggest fear and weakness. OH JOY!
I want to help make the world a better place. I want to feel connected. I want to share me being me. I want to share you being you. I want to help people get their happy on. I want to help others live their true selves and be okay with others that they may not understand; agree with or be comfortable around. I believe this is asking alot. I also believe that a world that resembles this will be the best world for all of us.
This is my wish or my greatest 'calling' for being here on earth.
This is my greatest fear as well.
Again, speaking in front of others is something I can never imagine myself being close to comfortable with. Something in me is completely against it. Yet, I can 'see from a distance' myself doing it.
I don't see how living in such opposition is not insanity. Ha.
How can this be who I am and it feel so paralyzingly frightening.
I have no question for this other than ARE YOU READY TO WALK THROUGH YOUR FEAR?
geology.com
My biggest wish or calling in life is my biggest fear and weakness. OH JOY!
I want to help make the world a better place. I want to feel connected. I want to share me being me. I want to share you being you. I want to help people get their happy on. I want to help others live their true selves and be okay with others that they may not understand; agree with or be comfortable around. I believe this is asking alot. I also believe that a world that resembles this will be the best world for all of us.
This is my wish or my greatest 'calling' for being here on earth.
This is my greatest fear as well.
Again, speaking in front of others is something I can never imagine myself being close to comfortable with. Something in me is completely against it. Yet, I can 'see from a distance' myself doing it.
I don't see how living in such opposition is not insanity. Ha.
How can this be who I am and it feel so paralyzingly frightening.
I have no question for this other than ARE YOU READY TO WALK THROUGH YOUR FEAR?
geology.com
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Deep
OH OH OH
I am getting very deep. I am in the deepest part of who and what I am. I am content within and now my whole outer world is all screwy.
I used to (maybe) not be content within so much, and my outer world seemed fine, controlled and happy.
It's funny to me how for 30 years a huge desire of mine was to live on the outside what I was feeling on the inside. This was a big goal of mine; to freely voice what I think, feel, need, and desire. I did not allow myself to learn this at an early age; quite the opposite, in fact.
I am now doing this better than I ever have. AND, I didn't realize there would be so much to the simplicity and the complexity of my own voice.
Everyone I come in contact with may be affected (or so I think) by this. I know every relationship I am a part of; I am different than I was.
I seem to be at a standstill right now as we (everyone I 'touch' and myself) are doing the dance of what now.
I didn't really think this out. I have to see who will accept this new me and who cannot. I have to see who I am comfortable around and what has to change to allow comfort.
This is a real eye opener for me and there is no going back; nor do I want to. However, knowing how to go forward with ease is a work in progress.
OH, I am 'dancing' now. I want to thank you all for your support. Without it, I wouldn't be growing; I wouldn't be me.
What are the similiarities of your relationships; the differences? What you have helped to create - is it good for you?
I am getting very deep. I am in the deepest part of who and what I am. I am content within and now my whole outer world is all screwy.
I used to (maybe) not be content within so much, and my outer world seemed fine, controlled and happy.
It's funny to me how for 30 years a huge desire of mine was to live on the outside what I was feeling on the inside. This was a big goal of mine; to freely voice what I think, feel, need, and desire. I did not allow myself to learn this at an early age; quite the opposite, in fact.
I am now doing this better than I ever have. AND, I didn't realize there would be so much to the simplicity and the complexity of my own voice.
Everyone I come in contact with may be affected (or so I think) by this. I know every relationship I am a part of; I am different than I was.
I seem to be at a standstill right now as we (everyone I 'touch' and myself) are doing the dance of what now.
I didn't really think this out. I have to see who will accept this new me and who cannot. I have to see who I am comfortable around and what has to change to allow comfort.
This is a real eye opener for me and there is no going back; nor do I want to. However, knowing how to go forward with ease is a work in progress.
OH, I am 'dancing' now. I want to thank you all for your support. Without it, I wouldn't be growing; I wouldn't be me.
What are the similiarities of your relationships; the differences? What you have helped to create - is it good for you?
Dynamics of Living
I wouldn't be completely honest if I didn't share that when I told my dear friend that I have peace within and she imagined something other than what I am -- She said that I offer so much and she thinks I'm so brave. She said that I could write a book or make a video.
I also stated that "I struggle as I'm examining every aspect, saying, feeling, thought that I'm living; I struggle. Believe you me. But, I'm breathing me and that is all God wants of me. xo"
Mmmm. As I'm reading this post - I am LEARNING how I immediately came up with "she imagined something other than what I am". What if I am this to her.. WOWZA
Do you give yourself permission to hear what people in your life feel in regards to what you mean to them? or do you just write it off like I have just done....
*The words in quotes are my words to her through a text. Her words are my own interpretation.
I also stated that "I struggle as I'm examining every aspect, saying, feeling, thought that I'm living; I struggle. Believe you me. But, I'm breathing me and that is all God wants of me. xo"
Mmmm. As I'm reading this post - I am LEARNING how I immediately came up with "she imagined something other than what I am". What if I am this to her.. WOWZA
Do you give yourself permission to hear what people in your life feel in regards to what you mean to them? or do you just write it off like I have just done....
*The words in quotes are my words to her through a text. Her words are my own interpretation.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Create
Did I really create 'all this'? Is this the life I created?
Everything in my life today is here because I allowed it, called for it, asked for it or created it? OUCH.
Sometimes it's just a big ole OUCH.
Too many responsibilities; too many decisions; too much needs to be done; too many options. How do I navigate myself through all of this.
SIMPLIFY is a nice word that I do NOT seem very good at incorporating into my life at this moment.
Today, I feel that if I only had a handful of the situations that were in front of me, I'd be able to deal better. However, when I have two handfuls of these types of situations... OUCH;... is all I can conjure up.
Tomorrow, I hope to do better. Today I sit in disbelief! lol
How's your life looking today? Is there anything in this moment that you can do to create a happier you?
Everything in my life today is here because I allowed it, called for it, asked for it or created it? OUCH.
Sometimes it's just a big ole OUCH.
Too many responsibilities; too many decisions; too much needs to be done; too many options. How do I navigate myself through all of this.
SIMPLIFY is a nice word that I do NOT seem very good at incorporating into my life at this moment.
Today, I feel that if I only had a handful of the situations that were in front of me, I'd be able to deal better. However, when I have two handfuls of these types of situations... OUCH;... is all I can conjure up.
Tomorrow, I hope to do better. Today I sit in disbelief! lol
How's your life looking today? Is there anything in this moment that you can do to create a happier you?
Monday, September 5, 2011
Where I Want to Be
I want to be exercising/dancing/playing more and I want to work with helping others to find their inner peace and stay connected to and share their authentic selves through love.
I want to feel great, energetic and strong and I want to see other people do the same.
I want us all to live our authentic selves. I believe through this, a powerfully positive, happy, fulfilling, peaceful world can and will exist.
This is where I want to be.
BRING IT ON. please. ha.
Where do you want to be?
Authentic (Mercedes' take)
everything that is deep within; that resonates; that calls you - sharing this with open mind and open heart
I wish to know the AUTHENTIC YOU.
BE U - no more; no less (when and if you are ready)
I want to feel great, energetic and strong and I want to see other people do the same.
I want us all to live our authentic selves. I believe through this, a powerfully positive, happy, fulfilling, peaceful world can and will exist.
This is where I want to be.
BRING IT ON. please. ha.
Where do you want to be?
Authentic (dictionary.com)
not false or copied; genuine; real
entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy
Authentic (Mercedes' take)
everything that is deep within; that resonates; that calls you - sharing this with open mind and open heart
I wish to know the AUTHENTIC YOU.
BE U - no more; no less (when and if you are ready)
Where I'm At
I'm not quite sure, still, where I'm at. I feel peaceful for the most part. I feel like I'm 'just being' and am highly aware of everything that I do, say, feel, think, react to.
I've changed many ways I do things, think, say, feel and react to. I don't squash or bury my immediate thoughts when in situations.
I am very sensitive to other people. I feel the 'air' change if I say something they don't like or that affects them deeply. I think I've always felt this. The difference now is that I do not come from a place that I have to change my thinking/doing because it is not in accordance with the person I am with. I'm a bit worried that they will leave me and not like me because of this AND I'm doing it anyway with the thinking that if they do leave our relationship then our relationship is not supposed to be had anymore. (I'm not quite 'there' with this completely; it is a work in progress). I do come from a place of love and not a place that I want to judge them and tell them what to do. I know I can not change others; I know I can only change the way I react to situations. I do believe it's the best thing for me moving forward as my authentic self.
So, as I step on this Earth with the totality of who I am, I am at peace. I have peace within. Not always but I have it!
I always believed that I could have inner peace no matter how much chaos is around me because I always, every now and then, got glimpses of this. I am getting more of this now.
I told a friend yesterday that I am not where I want to be AND I am where I need to be. She asked me to explain. I said that "I'm doing and saying and offering and allowing what is inside of me....no more.... no less. This, for me, is peace. I like peace alot.
May you allow peace (this piece of you) to be abundant today.
I've changed many ways I do things, think, say, feel and react to. I don't squash or bury my immediate thoughts when in situations.
I am very sensitive to other people. I feel the 'air' change if I say something they don't like or that affects them deeply. I think I've always felt this. The difference now is that I do not come from a place that I have to change my thinking/doing because it is not in accordance with the person I am with. I'm a bit worried that they will leave me and not like me because of this AND I'm doing it anyway with the thinking that if they do leave our relationship then our relationship is not supposed to be had anymore. (I'm not quite 'there' with this completely; it is a work in progress). I do come from a place of love and not a place that I want to judge them and tell them what to do. I know I can not change others; I know I can only change the way I react to situations. I do believe it's the best thing for me moving forward as my authentic self.
So, as I step on this Earth with the totality of who I am, I am at peace. I have peace within. Not always but I have it!
I always believed that I could have inner peace no matter how much chaos is around me because I always, every now and then, got glimpses of this. I am getting more of this now.
I told a friend yesterday that I am not where I want to be AND I am where I need to be. She asked me to explain. I said that "I'm doing and saying and offering and allowing what is inside of me....no more.... no less. This, for me, is peace. I like peace alot.
May you allow peace (this piece of you) to be abundant today.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
"Signs, Signs, Everywhere is Signs"
(Five Man Electrical Band)
Signs, signs, everywhere is signs.
I am noticing balancing numbers again. My favorite and has been for years is the 11:11 and then there is the 77!
4 minutes later, I saw this:
It was no longer 77 degrees at 11:15. However, I laughed at all the 7's I noticed on top! 7, some say, means "surprises".
I had written a post entitled "Waiting" and this is what I noticed the same day:
"Anticipation".
Signs? I think so....
Are you open to seeing your signs?
LOL
(*No one was harmed during the shooting of these pictures....I happened to be in an empty neighborhood during this period.)
Signs, signs, everywhere is signs.
4 minutes later, I saw this:
I had written a post entitled "Waiting" and this is what I noticed the same day:
Signs? I think so....
Are you open to seeing your signs?
LOL
(*No one was harmed during the shooting of these pictures....I happened to be in an empty neighborhood during this period.)
People
"People, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world" Barbra Streisand
Isn't it also true that we people can be challenged greatly, as well, through our relationships. I know I can.
Do our relationships work best when we come from our true place inside of ourselves and lovingly say what our thoughts, desires, and needs are.
We may not be able to ward off problems/troubles; however, we can choose not to be alone or deal with them solely. We can always choose to let someone acknowledge us lovingly.
If you feel you are not being acknowledged and would like to be, what can you choose to do differently that will help others open their hearts to you.
We are the common denominator of all our relationships.
May you choose fun, and not labor, with your relationships today.
Happy Labor Day Weekend!
Labor day is "dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers" (internet). Many of us also see it as the unofficial end of summer.
We have great opportunity for learning and growth on this Labor Day holiday; this is for certain. (in my world anyway)
May we all choose a better way to be us today and not be stuck in the old ways that used to work to keep us 'safe'.
A NEW DAY IS UPON US.
I hear, see and feel this from many wonderful people. I'm ready; I hope you are too?
Isn't it also true that we people can be challenged greatly, as well, through our relationships. I know I can.
Do our relationships work best when we come from our true place inside of ourselves and lovingly say what our thoughts, desires, and needs are.
We may not be able to ward off problems/troubles; however, we can choose not to be alone or deal with them solely. We can always choose to let someone acknowledge us lovingly.
If you feel you are not being acknowledged and would like to be, what can you choose to do differently that will help others open their hearts to you.
We are the common denominator of all our relationships.
May you choose fun, and not labor, with your relationships today.
Happy Labor Day Weekend!
Labor day is "dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers" (internet). Many of us also see it as the unofficial end of summer.
We have great opportunity for learning and growth on this Labor Day holiday; this is for certain. (in my world anyway)
May we all choose a better way to be us today and not be stuck in the old ways that used to work to keep us 'safe'.
A NEW DAY IS UPON US.
I hear, see and feel this from many wonderful people. I'm ready; I hope you are too?
Saturday, September 3, 2011
A New Me in Town
There is a new me in town. I am feeling stronger/better and I see the world differently and find myself acting differently as well.
I am slowly allowing myself to live me 100%. Show me 100%.
I am seeing signs, words, symbols, meanings all around me that encourage me to move forward, be balanced and live true.
How exciting and how scary. And, I am feeling I am the only one who will understand or get any meaning from them and I don't want to bore you.
I'm sitting with my world and it's spinning around me and through me and I am on a carousel of sorts and I don't know when I will be able to get off and walk forward.
Crazy, huh?
You bet.
I'm thinking that you are very lucky if you stayed the person you were born to be and didn't let LIFE get in the way of YOU.
If you did take some detours to become the you that you are today,
May you find the path that is best traveled for the you in all your beautiful totality.
where do I come up with this stuff....too weird....even for me. ha.
I am slowly allowing myself to live me 100%. Show me 100%.
I am seeing signs, words, symbols, meanings all around me that encourage me to move forward, be balanced and live true.
How exciting and how scary. And, I am feeling I am the only one who will understand or get any meaning from them and I don't want to bore you.
I'm sitting with my world and it's spinning around me and through me and I am on a carousel of sorts and I don't know when I will be able to get off and walk forward.
Crazy, huh?
You bet.
I'm thinking that you are very lucky if you stayed the person you were born to be and didn't let LIFE get in the way of YOU.
If you did take some detours to become the you that you are today,
May you find the path that is best traveled for the you in all your beautiful totality.
where do I come up with this stuff....too weird....even for me. ha.
Waiting
It's like I'm waiting for something to happen. I'm not sure what, why, how or with whom; but I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen.
It's not a dreaded something. It is an exciting something.
I wonder if I'm waiting for nothing...
What are you waiting for?
It's not a dreaded something. It is an exciting something.
I wonder if I'm waiting for nothing...
What are you waiting for?
A Moment
I was walking my 11 year old dog this morning. He walks pretty slow and it gives me more time to think (just what I need).
I was realizing that my hands feel whole even though they may not look it. I was thinking about how balanced I feel between what is going on inside of me and what I am showing to the world; what I share with the people that I encounter.
I got home and I saw that it was 73 deg. inside and 73 deg. outside on the digital thermometer that reads both temperatures. I walked back to change my shoes and the clock read 11:11. I had the television on and there was something about balancing the whole person inside and out.
I got a laugh. It was a moment.
May you connect to your moment(s); whatever they may be.
I was realizing that my hands feel whole even though they may not look it. I was thinking about how balanced I feel between what is going on inside of me and what I am showing to the world; what I share with the people that I encounter.
I got home and I saw that it was 73 deg. inside and 73 deg. outside on the digital thermometer that reads both temperatures. I walked back to change my shoes and the clock read 11:11. I had the television on and there was something about balancing the whole person inside and out.
I got a laugh. It was a moment.
May you connect to your moment(s); whatever they may be.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Everything
Everything that has been in my life; that I've experienced in my life; that I have done in my life that has brought me to here has made me the exact person that I am supposed to be.
Everything that has been in your life; that you've experienced in your life; that you have done in your life up to now has made you the exact person that you are supposed to be today.
May we continue to let life happen and help to shape, mold and create the people we are supposed to be tomorrow.
May you move forward in your life knowing you are exactly where you are supposed to be because this is where you are.
Everything that has been in your life; that you've experienced in your life; that you have done in your life up to now has made you the exact person that you are supposed to be today.
May we continue to let life happen and help to shape, mold and create the people we are supposed to be tomorrow.
May you move forward in your life knowing you are exactly where you are supposed to be because this is where you are.
Processing
I am almost silent these days because I am processing everything that I have encountered, learned, experienced and dreaded in my life up until this very moment.
I am living in these moments and allowing my truth to shine to whoever I come in contact with. Some people want to discuss it; some people couldn't care less; and some want to run away quickly!
I am learning that whatever is going on inside of me that it is imperative for my health and sanity (and also for my ability to move forward in my life) that I show the true me on the outside of myself as well.
I have connected my outside experiences with my inside knowing. How exciting! How brilliant for me! It is a dream come true; a goal that I have had for a very long time.
It was and continues to be a slow process for me to be brave enough to 'play' my life this way. I gave it up along time ago and totally decided to never connect the two again.
Well, that wasn't working for me anymore. So, I went deeply inward and I am slowly shining my inside light out to the world that I may better see, better connect, better share and JUST plain BE BETTER.
I sit in the process of this.
May you allow yourself to be exactly where you are....for this moment...whether you understand it or not.
I am living in these moments and allowing my truth to shine to whoever I come in contact with. Some people want to discuss it; some people couldn't care less; and some want to run away quickly!
I am learning that whatever is going on inside of me that it is imperative for my health and sanity (and also for my ability to move forward in my life) that I show the true me on the outside of myself as well.
I have connected my outside experiences with my inside knowing. How exciting! How brilliant for me! It is a dream come true; a goal that I have had for a very long time.
It was and continues to be a slow process for me to be brave enough to 'play' my life this way. I gave it up along time ago and totally decided to never connect the two again.
Well, that wasn't working for me anymore. So, I went deeply inward and I am slowly shining my inside light out to the world that I may better see, better connect, better share and JUST plain BE BETTER.
I sit in the process of this.
May you allow yourself to be exactly where you are....for this moment...whether you understand it or not.
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