Be U: March 2024

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, March 18, 2024

Whatcha Gonna Do

I have not had the drive to write. I have no information bubbling up inside that is asking to be shared. Not much is coming through me that wishes to come through my fingers to type out.

Whatcha gonna do.

I come here open to seeing what may show up.

Courage was a topic today that was discussed. Courage being the thing that shows up when fear is present. Courage can be about doing something anyway regardless of when the fear of same is present.

Fear is our mind’s way of protecting us whether it is necessary to or not. Our brain is a mechanism that holds records and experiences and applies them to the present. It can be a real task to change and/or support the brain in a new direction thanking it for the desire to protect us.

It can be an ongoing thing to battle and reestablish the way of our own brain. You are worth to do so.

That is what you may wanna do.

I feel me being quiet is about keeping energy, breath, strength, change, flexibility and growth in transforming and adapting to life in general; my life, myself, and meeting all things through who I am and what is showing up to propel, invite, navigate and uplift me in moving forward through a new awareness and the truths within myself.

Whatcha gonna do.

I believe, and this is my story that feels best to honor, our world wants love… the earth, the animals, the people, the way of being in this everchanging and new world. Love.

We want to matter We want to be. We want to breathe easy. We want to be free to live free in the autonomy of a good, clear, uplifting and loving way.

What are we gonna do…

May we easily and intentionally - because it feels best - opening - opened to - allowing love, truth and free authenticity possess us as we possess it.

That’s what I’d like to offer and believe we are going to do. Doing even.

Get out of our own way and free ourselves to “Just Be U” and to let our love.

Create through what fills us up What makes our cells happy. What feels happiest to believe and to do…

May you do yourself the honor of honoring You.

Friday, March 8, 2024

Prayer

May God bless us with sanity and ongoing support to stay sane during any challenging times. Amen.

Life seems to balance itself out. Life also seems to balance many of our lives in their totality out.

Opposition/resistance can sometimes push us deeper into what we are resisting.

Perhaps, try flowing with and through being as true to your feelings, needs and experiences as possible. There is sanity in this and what can be a healthy way of being and choosing to feel (through deep awareness) may be our greatest self-attraction to life and living now.

I pray that you stop at times, check in with yourself.

I pray that you stop at times, step outside of yourself and look in - see You; look at You.

I pray that you always let your love lead You; as often and as much as possible.

I pray that when peace comes, joy and fun happen and vice versa.

Maybe, non-judgement is best.

Maybe, in these times, discovery is the better goal.

Maybe, to be true, loving, kind, open and real is what constitutes what matters most.

Whatever matters most to You, may you invite it by being true, loving, authentic You and creating forward from this way of being/living You.

I wish You your best of self.

Do no harm to yourself or to others.

Chill and let it be your truth and your openness that You choose.

I pray.

Monday, March 4, 2024

The Answer My Friend

I’m relearning that to speak candidly, openly, from a loving, calm place - my truth and feelings - is the greatest, forward positive way to live for myself and for all.

I’m not keeping the peace by not speaking/sharing my truth. If there is unrest, it is there til I process it.

The ‘pot is already stirred’. The ‘elephant is in the room’ whether we speak about it or not. We stay stuck and/or living in discomfort unless we address the ‘dirt under the rug’.

Many of us are living in situations that to address them with the people that are directly involved, while it makes us vulnerable, discomfort has no chance of diffusing until we acknowledge and bring forth the awareness and truth of what is.

The uniqueness of our situations, relationships and experiences are real to us. Trust who you are, what you feel and let kindness bring you through.

I have been exploring speaking candidly with kindness wholeheartedly. It is trippy. It is freeing. It is scary. It is beautiful. It can be really fun and exciting. It is definitely love.

Oh the ‘web we weave’ and it always can be reweaved.

We are living as we are living. We are living in and through situations. To ignore them does not make them not so.

To not bring them into the light with a goal of growing and healing, to do better - to alter a ‘thing’, may keep us stuck in it.

We are being asked, sometimes forced, to ‘unstick’ ourselves. It can be exhausting. I am sure it is grandness and opens our full ability to thrive.

May you want your best for You. May you free yourself to Just Speak You from your most open heart and mind as possible. When the desire to live as you truly feel is present [and from deep within us it most always is], let You be so. Let love.

I wish this for You; as much and as often as possible.

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!