Quietude

I feel myself wanting to be silent; wanting to live in and experience silence.  I am wanting to bask in the quietude of who I am.

I hear myself saying to save my energy for myself.  Give the loving energy that I give out to myself just now.  Do not give the little energy that I do have away; use it on myself.

This feels so very true to me.  The need, the desire, the necessity.

If I think about it, I don't really want to own this feeling.  I can pretty quickly go to the labels of selfish, unkind and wrong.

And, it feels so right deep within the recesses of myself and in each and every cell in my body.

I've been just wanting to shut off everything but my own breath, joy and healing.

This is new for me.  Giving and supporting is who I am; who I want to be.

My mind knows that I have to have 'it' to give 'it'.  I am tapped out.

My heart still beats.  It beats for the world and for others.  I must open it up to myself and know that it belongs 'here' first.

May you experience and believe in what is in front of you, and within you, to experience.  It just may be the next best step you can take...

Louise Hay

Louise Hay, It has been an honor to read, study and practice your work from a young age to the woman I am today.

You have touched my heart, my soul, my being and my truth.

I have learned so much about myself because of the love and work that you have offered to our world.

I remember reading "You Can Heal Your Life" one night in the wee hours of the morning and it had 'scleroderma' in it.  This was probably the first book that I read that referred to the dis-ease of scleroderma.  I did a loud whoop and it spoke to me deeply and forever changed the way I saw ailments and emotional tidings.

I gifted the book to people and I, myself, own more than one.  It has been my 'go-to book' and people would call me to look up certain ailments to read to them.  This was before the easy use of the web.

Your work encouraged, touched, altered and expanded my own life.  My life and my way of life would be different if not for you.

As we say goodbye to your human form, I am certain that your work and your spirit will be with many.  Forever and ever, people will know it and find themselves through it if and when they are open, ready and, yes, brave enough to look.

You will be missed.

May you fly with your good friend Dr. Wayne Dyer [and the many others] and may you support us from up above as our world needs the kind of love and work you always delivered.

Many thanks.  Much gratitude.  Much love.  Much honor.  These are all being sent to you.

May we, the people who are still here, find the depth of our own selves, connect to our loving power and energy, trust and know what we are here to do by feeling our way and believing.  May we open our hearts, minds and souls and let ourselves fly from exactly where we are at today.

I believe that You, my dear friend reading this, are here at this time, with me - with each of us - to learn, to grow, to be and to become the best version of you; again and again and again.

I bow my head and wish for inner peace and love for all.  It is time to share from this place.  Everything deep inside of us wants to be connected; wants to matter; and wants to be appreciated.

As we start connecting, sharing and appreciating what we have and are, we grow the world into the best version of itself.   BooYah

Fly high Ms. Louise Hay.  Thank you for forever.

Energy

There is all kind of energy.  The energy within you.  The energy around you.  The energy within me.  The energy around me.

There is emotional energy.  There is thought energies.  There is electricity.  There is wind.  There is nature.  There is the ocean, the lakes, the waters.

There is calm energy.  There is spastic energy.  There is nervous energy.  There is love.

I could continue on and I think you get my drift.

What kind of energy are you tapped into just now...

I think we all like the healing and happy energy.  It is easy to be with the peace and joy that comes from these.

Not many of us are comfortable with the chaotic energy even if we are the ones that are creating it; whether consciously or subconsciously.

Some thrive on the energy that brings them to the brink of themselves.

When we feel energy that we deem ugly or unsatisfying, many of us want to change it-get rid of it-alter it.

Just what if we stop labeling energy and just let it flow through us as it organically shows up from whatever pattern we may be in and/or produce.

What if we believe (know) everything is temporary and what we are feeling in this moment won't last.

What if we don't like what we are feeling, to feel it anyway and know that if we live (wait) it out, the energies within and without flow and change.

May you honor the energy within you just now.  Listen to it.  Feel it.  Maybe even know gratitude for it because these listened to energies may be guiding us either into or away from paths that we thrive when on and paths that are clearly not our favorite.  And while being on these paths, experiencing them, we know which way to go next.  When listening and embracing, perhaps, is the best way to stay on the much loved path more often.

Just maybe.

I wish you joyous paths as often and as much as possible.

May you be open to the path(s) that bring you closer to the truth of your wholeness, contentment, fulfillment and the bestest versions of you.

Resistance or Ease

I come here forlorn.

I laid in bed yesterday for a lot of the day.  I just didn't want to (couldn't) choose anything else.  I am weak.  I am tired.  I feel like I've had it.

I realize that laying in bed in my deeply seeded thoughts, I think I am lazy.  This is a learned concept.  I know it is.

I also know that I can change this concept.  So, I sit here open to doing just this...

It felt great to lay in bed and allow calmness to enter my being.  I have been learning to call relaxation my healing time as I realize it takes away the guilt that I have learned to associate with relaxing.  Relaxing was not a positive thing growing up.  Doing and being out was what I learned were more productive and maybe even the only options.

I think 'doing' and 'being out' are great things.  They are appealing.  I want to believe that laying in bed and letting go is just as productive and appealing, especially when my body and mind are craving it.

It seems to be coming back, again, to the concept of balance for me.

The balance of being productive while doing and while just being...

I need more just being in my life with complete release of guilt, shame and anxiousness.

My body is begging me for this.  My mind totally agrees.

May you know what your body is asking of you.  May you check in with your open mind.  May you give yourself what you ask of yourself from the deepest, most true place inside of you.

Now this is productivity...

Follow your gut instinct and you, most likely, will be the most productive possible.  Let kindness and compassion participate.  Let the truth of what you feel be noticed, embraced, loved and allowed.

You just being you is the reason your unique self is here now, right where you are... May you believe and allow.

Try it.  It just may be the best gift you can give to yourself and to (y)our world.

May we love ourselves through.

Namaste.

Forward We Go

Life.  It is surely interesting.  It is surely a journey.  It is surely an adventure that comes at us, supports us, challenges us and connects us to the extraordinary.

There is a saying that goes, 'we plan, God laughs'.  

There is also a saying that says 'when life feels like it is falling apart, it is sometimes falling into place'.

Lastly, I have also heard the saying 'the greatest war one ever knows is between what we feel in our heart and what we know in our mind'.

There is where my current biggest struggle lies.  It is between what I wish for my life and what my life consists of.  They are currently not coinciding.

I do not want scleroderma to be a part of my life and everything that comes with it.  And, yet, scleroderma is a part of my life and all that comes with it; for now, anyway.  I have been told it will be with me forever.  Nothing is 100% certain.

I know that as I accept my health for where it lies just now, I allow more peace to enter my mind, heart and soul.  With acceptance of same, I feel the peace seep throughout my being.  As I bring and allow my true self to live this moment, I am whole and I am at peace.

When I fight, struggle and wish against the truth of what is, I create chaos in my mind, soul and heart; my entire being.

May you accept where your life is at; as often as possible.

It is easy to accept the fun, loving, easy, happy, dream come true part of life.  Perhaps, we can learn to accept the hard, not liking, not liking how we feel, not liking what we are experiencing part of life, too, knowing that life is always changing and so are we.

Where we are in this moment is not where we are going to be in future moments.  Yes, some things stay the same but even these things are shown differently to us.  We can always choose to respond differently to same also.

May you allow everything that is your life enter, process and move on.  Let love be present.  Let your truth be lived.  May you let life flow through you.

In this, may you know peace.

Forward, may you go...

Thank you.

We are, perhaps, individually and collectively divinely created and led.  When we tap into this lead, we allow for the best of who we are to be.  You are a divine piece of (he)artwork.  You are made to be a masterpiece.

                                                           Nature's Artwork

Medicines of Today

I have been taking the medical marijuana CBD oil capsules ('low THC capsules") and I do not feel good.  My anxiety is high.  My hands are purple and my stomach is nauseous.   I am very uncomfortable in my own skin.  My energy level is the lowest it has been without ulcers on my fingers.

I am still taking some of the hydrocodone pain medicine.  I am trying to figure out which helps me to feel the closest to okay as I can.  There is something that I am not stomaching and it is not easy peasy figuring out what this something is.  I do not have direction on how to change over to the cannabis only (or if I can) or how to not feel so tired, cranky, irritable and 'ouchy'.

I don't know if it is that we are breaking new ground on legalizing marijuana for medicinal use and trying to stop the opioid deaths and there are not tried and true guidelines written down.  I feel too sick to even reach out to the doctor.  And, yet I know I will get to it.

Very interesting place I find myself in.

I put myself here over years of hydrocodone use.  I put myself here believing the medical cannabis would be a big help.

I put myself here being true to my situation(s) and wanting to heal; feel strong and thrive.  I put myself here not wanting to feel pain.  It is another whole story whether it is scleroderma pain or not that wracks my body.

Maybe I have done all my thriving of this lifetime.  Maybe I haven't.

I only know I am very tired of trying to not hurt and very tried of pushing through pain.  I have sat with the pain and embraced it.   I have stopped pushing and allowed myself to just be.  I don't know what to try next.

I still find myself in an uncomfortable place and I am very uncomfortable talking about it; writing about it.  I am resisting the truth of what is.  And, I am living in it none-the-less.  I have shame in my truth and I suppose I need to honor this shame and 'feel it out' so to speak.

I am in a great unknown just know.  I can only lead with truth, trust and hope.

May you lead with truth, trust and hope.

Spontaneity

Being spontaneous makes me feel alive.  I used to be very good at it.

I woke up one easter morning and instead of going to the park to jog, I went to the beach which was 1.5 hours away.  I spent that easter alone doing something I loved.  I used to love just getting in the car and seeing where I ended up.  I love being open to participating in life just happening; and bringing my best and happy self into it.

Just the other day I was out walking my dogs and something told me to lie in the grass and watch the clouds.  I immediately resisted.  But, upon being aware of this resistance, I said why not.  Something in me wants to do this, so let's do it.  I laid on the grass and watched the trees and clouds above.  I felt alive.

Perhaps, spontaneity is something you enjoy.

May you give yourself freedom to be spontaneous; if this makes you feel happy and alive.

When I do things on the spur of the moment because something inside of me is guiding me to do so - it is always fun and enjoyable.  It is always me being me.

May you do something because something inside of you wants you to...

Do it from love.  Do it lovingly.   Do it just because it came up for you to do...

Open your heart and open your mind to the spontaneity of YOU.

"Just Be U'!!!!

Acceptance

I am accepting where I am.  I am meeting myself where I'm at.  I am open to my truth and I trust that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I do my best to relax into me.  Relax into each moment.  Breathe.

Life shows us many ways.  Life gives us many experiences.  When we bring our truest of self to everything that is, we are fulfilled in the moment.

Feel your goals inside of yourself.  Learn from your past experiences.  Feel the success that you have accomplished.  Feel the paths that you have been on.   Feel the you that you have shared.  Be open to many wonderful new experiences moving forward.

Perhaps, we must feel and trust everything that we are now to bring our complete self into our own future.

Right now, in this very moment, this very breath, we are okay.  We are surviving.  We are thriving.  We are living.  And, we are using up the minutes of our lives.

Who do you want to be in these moments that consist of and include your whole life...

I want to know peace.  I want to be peace.  From this peace, I want to share life from where I am each day; each moment.

I want to honor and feel grateful.  I want to connect in joy and in harmony.  I want to accept the flow of life as my life flows in me and through me.

Right here; right now, you are experiencing your life.  Are you bringing the best of you with you...

Even through our darkest times, we can choose love.  Love can be present as we process through our own bodies and experience what is there.  Bodies can hold on to memories.

May you experience all that shows up for you to experience and may you allow the kindness, truth and trust that is inside of you to grow.

As you grow with kindness, truth and trust, may you grow into the version of you that you enjoy the most.

It is, perhaps, our own choice to choose love.

May you open to self-love as you choose self-acceptance.  May you accept what is as you bring your own loving energy to all that you see, know, experience and touch.

Stand tall and believe in the energy of you.  Reach deep, in, out and high...

Scattered Mindfulness

Whew we hoo.  There is a lot going on everywhere just now.  Some say it is the biggest 'shift' in the universe's history.  Some say we are 'ascending'.  Some say we are going from a 3D world to a 5D world.  It has been said that everything possible is coming forth so that we have access to create change.

We have never ever been more 'connected' to each other around the world than we are now.

What you do matters.  How you think matters.  What you feel matters.  How you express yourself matters...

Not only to you but to every one that your energy touches.  Some say it touches every one and every thing.

Just what if you did.  Just what if your energy reached and touched everyone...

Are you putting forth your most loving self...  Are you showing another compassion..  Are you showing yourself compassion...

I feel quiet on the outside of myself just now.  As I deal with different medicines; alone and together, trying to figure out what is best for me, I feel myself going internally more than I ever have before.

I don't feel like I have what I once had...  I don't feel like I'm coming from where I once came from...  I feel like I must shut down in order to show up.

Wherever you are, may you do you with an open heart and mind.  May you be mindful of any and all of your scattered energies.

Be true to you.  Be your own best friend.  Give yourself what you need.

May you let the ripple of YOU be loving and kind as you open up to all that you are, feel, do, know and choose to be. 

May you grow into all that you are.

May we meet ourselves and each other where each of us are at; as much as and as often as possible.

If this is a time of great growth, perhaps, your job - if you choose it - is to grow into the best version of you.  In this, our best of selves can create the best of our world... just maybe.  Let YOU be so.

                                                            picture unknown                          

In This Moment

I am learning to say, I feel ____; in this moment.    I am _____; in this moment.

It is in each moment that we experience what we experience.   It is in each moment that this breath counts the most.  It is in each encounter that shows us and makes us who we are.  It is in the now, that we truly live.

My mind can travel to things that happen in the past.   My mind can travel to things that may happen in the future.

I can choose to stay present and know that this moment I want to live my best in.  I want to be aware of.  I want to experience it.  I want to take a full breath in.

Who knows how I will feel in the upcoming moments, days, months, years, etc.  I am open to being fulfilled and whole in each of them.  My desire is to know that in this moment, if it feels joyous, I will feel it wholeheartedly with gratitude.  In the moments that I don't feel my best, I can know that it is only this moment.  I can feel it, not want to rapidly change it, and still know gratitude because no matter what is going on, I can still choose love.  I can always choose to be love.

We are all here doing the best we can with where we've been, who we are, what we know, what we have experienced, what we believe and where we are going.

We are all human.  We all have made mistakes.  We all experience pain.  We all experience joy.  During each of our lifetimes, the experience of living is huge.  The experiences we accumulate are effective.  The experiences we participate in are better as we participate from the truth of what we are truly experiencing from within and bringing it to the surface and out.

No masks.  No more masks.  

May each one of us know that we are enough.  May each one of us be love to our greatest ability.  May each one of us know that in each moment, who you are affects everything and everything affects who you are. 

And, you can always choose to choose love and the effect just may be the life we are best to live...


Live on...  through you...  through love.

Moving Forward...

As I experiment with medical cannabis, I don't find it easy.  I have felt nauseous and uncomfortable (in stillness) the first few days.  It opened my digestion I believe and this is a positive.  I almost always feel bloated and I always feel inflamed.  I am open to the bloat and inflammation becoming less;  not even an item any more.  One can hope and believe for sure.  I don't feel anything else yet.  It is too early, perhaps.  Guidance is interesting just now as this surely is a new way of life entering into our society.

May you hope and believe.

Today is Monday, the 7th of August and a full moon is upon our world.  I'm reading where it can be used to, again, let go of things that no longer serve us.  Let go of the way we are that holds us back.  And with the lunar and solar eclipses this month, we will be shown - as we surrender - more of who we really are and supposed to be from the inside out.  Positive change is always possible. 

May you change and let go of what no longer serves you whether it be a belief, a thought, a habit, a relationship and make room for the positive and the ideas, dreams and messages that do serve you.

Perhaps, it is time to get closer yet to living the you that is inside of you and have it coincide with what you show on the outside of you.

The universe is constantly rotating and so are our lives.  May we rotate with all that is.  May we be open to change into an easier and a better us.

May you believe that the universe is on your side.  May you believe you were born as a loving being and when you live this loving beingness that is within your heart and soul, the light of you shines brightest.

Shine on your brightness.   Let it shine in to the depth of yourself.  Let it shine out from the depth of yourself.

I wish you lightheartedness and peace.

Unknown     

Hello

I'm just popping in to say hello and send out love to each and every one of you.

If you are happy today - delve in and feel it!  Be grateful and have fun.

If you are struggling in this moment - be gentle and feel it.!  Perhaps, feel it and let it go.  Process through it while keeping your heart as open as possible.

Trust the process of your life and trust yourself that you can and will handle and walk through everything that life shows you.

I believe it is written in/on our spirit and soul everything we need for this lifetime.  We have survived and moved through everything so far and we will continue to .. until we do not.  There is only one time that we will not survive and there are thousands, maybe even millions of times, that we do.

Focus on what you are telling yourself and do your best to be your own best friend.  Listen with tenderness and respond with compassion.  Treat yourself how it feels good to be treated.  Find the center of your peace and work out from here as often and as much as possible.

Breathe and know that you are, in fact, breathing.  Watch your breath.  Slow it down.  Make it deeper.  Perhaps, even notice how the air may be cooler coming into your body and may be warmer as it leaves your body.  Are you breathing through your mouth...  Are you breathing through your nose...  Are you breathing deeply into your belly or shorter and more shallow breaths...  Let kindness breathe with you.  Perhaps, relax your shoulders.

I believe that life - each one of ours - is full and runs just how it is supposed to be experienced.

We know and experience joy and happiness, love and fulfillment.   We know and experience trials and issues, emptiness and fear, hurt and pain.

Roll with it.  Love through it.  Experience it all through the most truthful and knowing you.  As you bring your true self to whatever it is that life is offering you today, you live your life the fullest you can.

Enjoy the peaks.  Love through the valleys.  Feel the cozy warmth.  Comfort yourself during the chills.

What you are experiencing is you being human.  It won't last exactly as it shows itself today.  It will change again and again.

May you stand stead in your loving truth and live the most fulfilling life that is inside of you to live.  

I do believe it is an overall balancing act through one's whole life and we don't even have to do anything really but live it.  Each life balances itself through universal and divine knowledge and ways.

As we accept what is with open hearts, what is is loving or whatever/however we choose to react. 

May you react as you are [and as you wish yourself to be], not as the situation is, perhaps...

I wish you what you wish for from love and inner knowing.

Unknown

I received the medical cannabis pills.  Cash was the only currency accepted.

I started them and I have felt nauseous from the beginning.  Who knows how to take the regular medical prescriptions that I have been on for pain and how to add these cannabis pills to the mix and when to wean down.  I must connect to how I feel and believe in my knowing.

The medical cannabis doctor said 4x a day.

I am confused, scared, hopeful and uncertain.   I will work with this next trial for a few days or longer and see where it leads me.  I must try.  There is nothing left for me to try.

I get tired.  I get frustrated.  I get sad.  Sometimes I get angry.  I wish there was an easy answer that would just come to me and BAM, I would know peace more than fear.

I know loving myself and being kind to myself is a great step in this direction.  Trusting myself and trusting the process of life is another huge help.  A lot of the time I can connect to these and sit with peace.   Not always and less lately as I'm walking the unknown still/again.

We are all really walking the unknown.  But as we take the steps into the unknown and as we easily step with what we do feel and know, we go forward and we live the life that is in front of us.  When we are true to our soul, we live the life we are supposed to; just maybe.

This is what I wish for us all...

Fulfilled hopes, dreams and promises.

May you lovingly be true to your soul.  This is what empowers us all.

May we be quiet and trusting enough to hear and listen to our own soul...

Journey on.  Journey through your life.  Journey through you.

I believe in you.