April 25, 2016

Today I find myself between my 25th wedding anniversary and my 56th birthday celebration! 

I was married in Hawaii 25 years ago and stayed there for 3 weeks.  It was a wonderful, beautiful, spectacular and loving time.  There was a double rainbow at our ceremony on the beach at sunset.  We did whale watching, hiking the Napali Coast, snorkeling, helicopter rides and walked a dormant volcano.   It was heaven on Earth and something that I will always be grateful for and elated to know such peace, joy, love and fabulousness within because of everything we created and allowed without. 

I have known my husband for 31 years.  He and I have been exclusive for this long.  Man, who would have 'thunk' it.  And, live it.. I have.   I am so blessed.

With my birthday coming up - there was a time (for many years) that I didn't think I would reach my 25th birthday.  Now I am heading towards my 56th.  Miracles happen every day.

Life.  We live it.   We bring our true self to each situation with open heart and open mind.  In this, we, perhaps, can know fulfillment, satisfaction and living.

I wish this for you.  I wish everything that you can dream within - I wish it for you without. 

To live your life.

To bring your true self to each situation with an open heart and open mind.  By doing this, may you know fulfillment, satisfaction and living happily in this moment and and living fulfilled in as many moments from this very one to all the ones that open up for you to experience going forward.

You and your life matter.  You and your life are right here, right now waiting for you to jump in; participate.

May you participate in each moment, through each breath.  From your innate knowing; your innate self - reach, create and allow on.  Live YOU. 

Stop. Don't Make it Easy

Oh mother, sister, brother, father....   Today, again, the pharmacy would not give me medically prescribed medicine.  

The doctor says it is due today.   I say it is due today.  Insurance says it is due today.  Pharmacist says the 22; which is today.   But, then when I inform her of same, she says - it is still too early and try tomorrow.  Here is your script.  You can't be getting it early...  Did not care to discuss it further. 

It is not my recollection that I ever got it earlier than I deemed necessary or allowed by law.   I have been without the medicine for a couple of days, in fact - which is the opposite of getting it early.   It is a real inhumane way of dispensing medicine to a person (me) that has scleroderma and has not come up with a better way - although I have tried many things (look at the list of 'things I have tried' here on this blog) - to decrease pain, take away stress, enable my disabled hands and body.

Man.  One cannot make sense out of nonsense.

So, I will continue to persevere until I don't have to any more or until there is no perseverance left in me.

May you continue to persevere until you don't have to any more or until there is no perseverance left in you.  You are worthy!

May you know your value and share you value - In this way, it is my hope, that we all win...

Looking in the Mirror

I have gotten pretty good at looking in the mirror and liking and being proud of the person looking back.   I remember the first time someone suggested for me to do so - I thought they had lost their mind...  I thought - wow are they crazy.  There is no way I can do that.

Now, I can look and say 'you rock'; 'you're awesome'; I love you; you are kind.   I could still use some work on not going directly to the purple spot on the tip of my nose instead of looking at my eyes as the eyes are what I like about myself.   I see wrinkles on my neck.  I often look at the things I wish I could change along with the things that I am okay with. 

I am telling myself now that I am going to do better at this.  I am going to focus on and look at the 10 things I like about my looks instead of the 3 things I do not.

May you look in the mirror and tell the person looking back that you have their back - you will never leave them and you will support them and they are enough just as they are.   May this feel true and feel happy on you.

May you work yourself up to complete adoration for yourself in a way that you feel loved by yourself and can, then, easily share this love with the world around you.

Once we are filled up with 'goodness' and love, perhaps, the only thing we can share is goodness and love.

Whoop.  Whoop!

 

                                                  Picture Unknown

Here. Today.

As I wander over to the computer today and log into the Be U blog, I have no words, ideas or suggestions to share.

I have been on the phone looking for answers, products and connections to ways of doing things easier, better; being more informed.

The information doesn't come easily.  Connection doesn't always come easily.  The sales consultants are not offering me description, prices or sizes easily.  The sales consultant is suggesting for me to go to a nearby store to see for myself.  This is a fine and dandy idea.  However, what are the phone sales consultants for if they are unable to 'consult' with me about their company's products.

What a hoot.

At times, I would say this must be me.  This is my mind not understanding or knowing how to get the answers I need/want.  But, just, what if, it is not always me.  That it isn't even mostly me.  What if our human world is changing, growing and offering us things that even the professionals cannot keep up with.  Just what if, it is time to slow down and be happy with what we have and where we are.. If only for a moment.

Yes, technology and progress has given us humans ease, information and informed help in accomplishing and even creating our goals under many distinctions.  Answers to just about anything factual, and even non-factual, are abundant and right at our fingertips.

And, there is so much unknown.  There is so much that can't be fixed.  There is so much that challenges us to grow.  There are so many new ways of being and doing. 

I feel like mistakes, returns, lots of having to learn things and do-overs are the norm.  Maybe this is okay.

I think what I'm trying to offer is that if you are confused, overwhelmed, baffled in today's world -- maybe it isn't even mostly you.  Just maybe it is our world and how we have created it.

Be gentle on yourself as we all walk through what is known to be the biggest manifestation, shift, evolution, changes of, in and for our world; that our world has ever experienced, ever before.

We are all here at this particular time of evolution to evolve into a new species of human BEings doing things in new ways, new thinking and, perhaps, even with new faces.  Some faces are medically enhanced. Some faces are our own true ones.  Some faces are in between.  Maybe, there is a part of us that is deciding if we want to show or hide our own vulnerability behind our faces. 

Many are finding that it hurts more than not to hide our pain anymore.  There is great change within what we 'face'.  Honor yourself and each other.  Bring your true, loving self to each situation.  Be gentle with yourself and follow your inner knowing and what is best for you as preciously as you possibly can.  Let's support one another to do the same.  Let love dominate through this. 

Bam.  This is one way to walk through and enjoy today as best as possible being present and true to what and who we are.

If you feel confused, don't judge it.  Step back and be with it.  Be open to your best way forward. Ask yourself what is your goal in this moment that you feel confusion in. 

Confusion usually occurs when we want it one way and it is happening another..  or we want it one way and we are fearful of sharing our desire.  We resist, get confused, feel challenged and think ourselves lost or less than.

When really all that is happening is -- there is a new way showing itself.  A different way to be had; to walk through life.   Be present and aware.  Do not allow auto-pilot and pretense. 

May you tell yourself that you are open minded, open hearted and let it be so.  Receive.. Feel.. Know.. Process.. Speak your truth.. Let go.

The time is now.  Bring the power of the loving truth of you into play. 

Beautiful

It is a beautiful spring day outside today.  The sky is blue with puffs of fluffy white clouds hanging out.  There is just enough breeze to know that it is present but not to make anything uncomfortable like hair blowing in my face (that is better for in the car with the windows down driving).  The sun is nice and warm as March seems to be the time that the sun gets more brilliant here in South Florida, USA. 

I just came in from walking the dogs.  Little Bear has turned more into a stroll (in a stroller) than a walk.  Tiffany likes to tell me exactly where to go.  My experience in walking little dogs is not that I am really walking.  My Durby dog (Aussie) would be a long and constant walk.   These little ones (most likely the way I trained them as we didn't walk the first 8 years of their life because of their big backyard) gander, stroll and smell.   Whenever Tiffany sees a person and/or a dog, she thinks they are coming to see her and she either tries her hardest to pull me to go over to them or plants herself down waiting for the new acquaintances to come over to us.   She is quiet the hoot.

I am very fortunate as our walk is full of plants, shrubbery, colorful flowers, water fountains and palm trees.   Every single day I enjoy the beauty of it.  I am thankful for it.  I know gratitude.  I love nature and mother nature.  Both make me feel very happy, satisfied and in awe. 

My 25 year anniversary is coming up soon and this is cause for a real celebration!  I am honored to be blessed with an everlasting relationship and one that gives me strength to love from everything that I am; everything that I know; everything that I feel.  My husband has challenged me like no other.  He has brought me joy like no other.  We have known each other for 31 years exclusively.  Man, I am old...

It is amazing how I can feel like I am still in my 20s, at times, and, in reality, be in my 50s.  How does this happen.  It feels like overnight and we all know it is not. 

There is certainly a lot of unknown 'presents' in aging and becoming mature.  It is like a secret boxful of occurrences, strength, blessings and what the hecks.  I envision my older age to be one of my best. 

I envision no doctors, good health and happiness and friendships; new things, new adventures and LOVE; lots of love with everything I encounter.

I've had enough doctors and unsavory health.  There are octogenarians that are very strong and vibrant.  I do think it can be a choice.  I do believe that without choosing that and believing aging is for sitting in the rocker waiting on things to come to us, that these beliefs (whatever we believe), mostly come to fruition.  So, with the belief of strength and passion, there is a chance. 

May you believe yourself into a beautiful future.  Be certain to enjoy the present as you do so. 

All we do have is now; this moment.   And, I hope that in this moment right here, you are okeydoke.  You are surviving and even thriving.  In this moment, as you sit here reading this - you are okay.

You may hurt or have troubles or both and, yet, in this moment you are okay.  You are handling it. 

May you allow the beauty, and the belief in the beauty of life, intrigue your world.

 

Mind-Body Dance

There is a mind-body dance going on within each of us.  Our bodies want one thing.  Our minds want another.  At least, from time to time. 

When our inner-ness of who we are connects to our outer-ness of who we are, we are in a pretty good place.

I still gently 'work' at and/or allow what I am, what I know and what I feel to coincide, in unison, representing the same things and living the same whole path.

When this isn't possible to me because I have not learned it to be so in certain situations still, I shut down/want to run/or pretend otherwise.

The shutting down/running/and pretending otherwise is where I find myself still at; at times.  However, I am learning, seeing, and feeling that to do this is to suspend moving forward. 

It is okay to be stuck when stuck-ness is all that is available to us.  However, if we can stay open, not run and allow ourselves to own right where we are at and/or what we are feeling [especially from a place of love], there is great victory for ourselves and all of those involved.

The victory is to deal, face and surpass which means to grow out of stuck-ness and allow new doors and windows and paths to open up.

This is not a time to judge.  This is a time to be aware and ask ourselves how do we really want to deal with this current situation.  Do we want it to keep coming up and/or back or do we want it to disappear and allow the flow of what and who we are to flow onward and not stagnate...

I am very aware of the communication that I replay and replay because I don't know a better way.  I am very aware that certain vibes back and forth and within the same circumstances are bringing within me feelings and compromises that I no longer want to partake in. 

And, until I change how I bring myself to these circumstances/situations/exchanges, nothing within me will change.  A new me has to emerge to dissipate the old stuck-ness. 

I am worth it and, surely, you are too.

May you allow the newness in you to show up to dissipate the oldness in the situation/circumstance/exchange that you are tired of having.  The one that pulls you down or turns you off.  The one that keeps you in your own stuck-ness.

The good news is that you are the only one that can change things up.  Why you have to be the one to change things up is because you are the one that is unhappy in it.

As you find yourself unhappy or unfulfilled, may you connect deep and ask yourself what new way you can portray or offer up to get your happy and fulfilled you on. 

It just may happily surprise you that as you ask yourself this question, the answer may just be waiting right there in the wings (so to speak) for you to fly through and into better pastures known as situations/circumstances/exchanges.

My wish is for you to surpass your stuck-ness. 

'FitBit'

My daughter gave me her 'Fitbit'.  Ha.  When I ran Beachin Bodies ['Make Yourself a Beachin Body!'], my monthly newsletter was called Fit Bits.  

Now, there is a 'Fitbit' on my wrist and it does excite and encourage me to move more.  I find myself at night, that if I am close to the next full mile, I will walk in place to just get to that mile.  I'm excited that I want to and that I can too!

My health is okay.  I have, for now, a group of doctors providing me the medicines that make it easier for me to get up, move and walk through pain and anxiousness about possible pain.

One brilliant doctor, a while ago, suggested that having scleroderma was like living with a sort of terrorism - one never knows when it will strike.  And, that surely feels true for me.  The thought of the pain coming can mess with me just as much as having the pain present.

I have a doctor that supports me now; kind of sort of.  I have a pharmacy who is very helpful.  I have other professionals that know how to support me and I surely know how to support myself with the 'safety net' of these professionals. 

I am grateful for everything I have been through and experienced because it has made me who I am today.  Life has challenged me to grow and go deeper within. 

I am strong, loving, open and I trust the ever-changing life that we all are living in and through.  I still have moments when all I can do is sit and breathe.  However, even in my 'just be' moments, I am allowing myself to know fulfillment because I am trusting that this is right where I am supposed to be.

Sometimes, my human mind interferes and wants more.  Even then, I know that it is all a part of being human.  I do my best not to let guilt, strife or worry in.   I do my best to stay connected to my trust, knowing that I am enough and love.

I don't always win.  I always am aware.   For now, this is enough.

So, just like my 'Fitbit' keeps me aware of my 'on the move' status.  My human mind keeps me aware that I am human.  And, my 'knowingness' keeps me aware of self-talk, chatter, and the place(s) I want to find myself and give myself permission to enter and participate in.

May you be your own 'bit of fitness' and let your awareness be followed by kindness, trust, knowing that you are enough and allowing love to lead you.  May you move whenever you can get yourself to do so.  And do so again and again and again.

We don't have to be perfect, we only need to let our own self breathe, be and live from whatever is inside of us from the best place of love we can connect to. 

Wow

Hello to You.   I hope today is treating you well and you are allowing it to. 

My hope is that you stay out of your own way and let your brilliance shine.

I have not been here for a long time as I am finding myself to Not come into the office as frequently and easily when my husband is home.  I see myself giving him free reign over it more than myself.  Interesting; and does not feel like it is what I want to do, act, or be like.

He has been traveling less these days and is home more often.  It is like we are actually living together... Yikes! 

We have had many a night when either his work or our living arrangements have found us in two separate locations.  This is no longer how we choose to live.

And, it is an adaption.  Before, when he would come home from travel, it would take me a day or two to not feel like he was intruding on my turf.  Now, we have created a turf that we both come home to and to each other.  This makes me very happy and it is what I want.  It is also me adapting to not being alone as frequently.  So my 'me time' is not as available as it was.  I like this and I still cherish my me time. 

What is a woman to do....

So, I keep my heart and mind open and we live together in the same place with no other 'home' to travel or 'escape' to.

Most of my life I have had two or more places that I could call home at the same time.   I have one home now and while it feels right, settling and easier on many levels, it is still an adjustment.  It is a hoot at times.  It is a challenge at times.  It is perfect at times.  It is 'what do I do with this' at times.  A transition period.  And I walk on.

Wherever you find yourself today, most likely you have some transitioning going on in your life.  May you walk on the best you can knowing that this is you living your life now.  Bring your happy to it as often as possible.  Yes, you are in charge of your happy.  It is in you to be happy any time you choose.  May you choose your happy as often as possible.

 

 

Hello

Hello.   May you know what you are looking for.   Ha.!

Hello by Lionel Richie just may be my all time favorite song.   I think it touched me so because I sang it to my dad (in my mind) who left me and I so wanted him to know, see and love me...

And, Lionel Richie - well he is just cool and rocks his own music 'all night long'.   Ha.

I had no idea I was going here as I just sat down at the computer on my way to call it a day and go back and read before falling asleep.

I found myself curious as to what I would write about.

I am still having some awesome, happy energy each night.  The mornings are still a bit 'loud' as my body speaks to me and tries to get in homeostasis and doesn't find an easy way to do so.   There is a loud 'wanting' for a balance within my being.  It feels like my body begs for time and immediately initiates a search within as I open my eyes and connect to discomfort, tightness, very loud tinnitus and my own spastic energy 'swimming' all around inside of myself not knowing where to land and/or unable to find a smooth route to travel.

I have been laying long in the morning looking at social media, posting on social media, reading a digital book, hugging my animals as the rest of the house has gotten up and is gone for the day (or a big portion of it) already.

I now call my 'morning time' my 'healing time'.  And, I have to say it feels really, really, really joyful to me as I allow myself stay in bed.  It feels like I am loving myself, pampering myself and the dogs have grown to 'lie in' as well.  Not a peep from them and I feel their great, quiet comfort.  The cat joins us on most mornings.   Sometimes, I use the remote control to open the room darkening curtains just a pinch to slowly let daylight in to softly help us awaken.   It truly is a gift that I have been asking myself for and not listening and not allowing it for myself for, truly, a couple of years.  I labeled staying in bed in the morning as lazy, loser, not right....

Now that I label it my healing time which feels completely in sync with what it is --  oh la la, it is a precious gift that I give to me. (huge thumbs up)

May you hear or know the special gift that you have been asking yourself for, but perhaps, labeling wrong or ignoring and may you invite it in; let it happen and give it to yourself.  May it feel completely in sync with what feels beautiful within and without.  May it give you great joy... and not hurt anyone or anything.  

This. This is what I'd like to see each and everyone of you give yourself and support others to give to themselves.  May we all live in oh la la for, at least, a part of the day...  live in the space of loving and pampering yourself. 

Where I'm At

It has been a long, long time since I have written a 'where I'm at' post.

Better time than any; I am thinking.

I have one leg in the new, evolved, improved version of myself and I have one leg letting go of the older, not as connected, but still loving version of myself.

I am all that is.   I am all that was.  I already am all that will be in my life.  I am just patiently and openly living in the now while allowing it to unfold.

I feel the new heartbeat of myself beating on.  I feel the joy and vibrancy within.  I feel the letting go of my morning's struggles and my daily challenges as I am still acknowledging them and participating in them as much as possible; fully and truthfully. 

I see myself moving my body more.   I see myself speaking my truth more in whatever situation I am in.   I see myself feeling love.  I feel myself more whole.  I feel it impossible to step outside of my truth, although there are still times when I am not liking my truth too much and I experience big discomfort.

I could easily label myself weak, nuts, kooky or crazy.  I sometimes still do.  However, I'm loving my weak,  nuts, kooky or crazy more because it is me and they are my labels about me.  I am not always honoring it, but way more often then I was allowing myself previously to do so.

I am a work in progress.   I suppose we humans are always a work in progress until we die; until we are not.

The journey is the progress.  The journey is the human life.  The journey is the battle.  The journey is the joy.

Oh, what a journey it is.

May you be aware of how you are representing yourself in your journey.  If you like it and it represents you accurately and lovingly, yay on you.

If it is not quite in sync with the truth of you and the representation of who you really are [and want to be] -- don't give up.  See what you see.  Know what you know.  Be what you are.  Journey on.

Be easy; not harsh.

Be loving; not hurtful.

Be awesome; not shut down.

Be you - not someone you are not.

'Just 9Be U' - Be You to Completion and "Grow Yourself Complete"

                                                    Lauren Eden

Communication(s)

Today, I lived a success story kind of day.

Many communicated wonderful, huge, happy and empowering stories to me.

One person found herself being peace in the chaos. This was new to her and she had been working very hard to achieve just this.

Another took big steps to create a whole new and glorious 'part three' for herself.   One she never dreamed of and, yet, one she knew was the exact direction she was here on this Earth to create and grow into.

Some found themselves doing really fun things that they never had done before and just decided on a whim to let go and do.

One spoke her truth and empowered the room.

A Life Coach contacted me for suggestions that I may have to be helpful to her client.  I am so honored and feel so awesome that a life coach would connect with me on life coaching.  What a fabulous and fun gift I received from this communication/connection. 

In fact, all these communications/connections felt like gifts to me!

Today felt like a pretty empowering day to me.   I sure hope, and I am surely open to, many, many, many, many (hope you get the picture, ha) more of these successful situations.

I had the honor of reading a post on 'Facebook' that a person was going to put himself first as he realized that he had no reserve of love and energy for himself because he was too focused on helping others.  He was ready to change things up and love himself first; that he was now (and always had been) worthy of this.  Huge. 

I saw a video where an older couple got engaged where she has an illness that is very hard to live with and he just found out he had an inoperable tumor that will eventually kill him.  They kissed and focused on their love. 

This, to me, is success.   Oh, how I love success!

I, myself, have been feeling more 'alive' energy filled with happy and it feels good; especially as day turns into night. 

May you have your own communication and success story(ies)..  !!

                                                   Unknown