Changes

Everywhere I look, I see some major change going on in our world.  Many are struggling to find balance here on our beautiful Earth.  Many are struggling with relationships, health issues, money issues.... are these not the three biggest issues of being human?  I can't think immediately of any other issue that does NOT fit into this category.

Relationships - Do we mostly get caught up in GUNK when we do not discuss with the person that we are having issues with our truth of what we see/feel/believe to be true that troubles us.  Sometimes we talk to everyone else about our beliefs; and, yet, we do not go to the only person other than ourselves that can 'fix' it.  The person that  really has a 'stock' in it the way we do.  Just what if we could easily, openly decide to go to our person in the said relationship and lovingly share our thoughts and maybe even share what we would like the relationship to look like/feel like and be like.   What a concept, right?    Mmmmm

Our health -  Oh boy.  We all know that movement is a good thing.  We all know that eating live food and not processed food is best.  Yet, some of us go from day to day not consciously moving more (even if it's to take the stairs instead of the escalator-elevator and/or park farther away from the entrance to where we are going).  What would it be like if we just consciously stood and balanced a bit on one leg while putting pants on or reaching down to touch our toes or taking longer strides while walking or reaching up to the sky because it feels good.  What if we added a piece of fruit and a vegetable to our daily intake of food.  Could these little things be helpful and, perhaps, be a bridge to even more of the 'good for us' stuff.  I think it's worth it to try.  We have nothing to lose.

Money - Eh Gad.  Some of us put a lot of our energy on money thoughts; maybe too much so, maybe too negatively.  Some of us have a belief that it's hard to come by or deep down we think we do not deserve it or it's impossible to make.  Just what if the focus could be on creating better ways for our world; sharing each other's ideas working together to create and fulfill needs of others.  Yes, we need money to get by in this human world.  It is the communication and transference that we barter with for home, food and even fun adventures. 

My thinking is that if we are not doing as well as we would like in any of these 'issues', perhaps, changing our cognitive thinking; our thought patterns and process is a great first start in changing things up.

Yes, sometimes we are where we are just because it's the way it is.  Yet, sometimes, if we can change one way how we look at things or do things - a whole domino effect can occur and bring about miraculous change.  I'm thinking that every single one of us have seen or experienced this to happen at least once in our lifetime.  So, doesn't that mean we do have access to it.  It is available if we can tap into it.

Change is everywhere all the time.  If something isn't quite working the way you want, may you be open to trying to do just one thing differently.  May you listen to your inner voice loud and clear without hesitation or questioning and see what happens.  

May you believe that no matter what happens next; you will be okay.  Even when I don't feel okay; in truth, I really am okay.  I may not like it; I may hurt -- and in truth, it passes and I am okay. 

I do wish many things were not in our world.  There is great pain and sorrow.  I pray for the day when we can share this pain and sorrow as pain and sorrow and not anger and horrific-ness.

I do believe.  I do believe.  I do believe that this can be found and done by each and every one of us.  When we know we matter; when we believe we feel a certain way because of real reasons and that it's okay to feel any and all of these; may we process them - let them go - hold on to each other and create peace and harmony. 

Would our life be dull; is this why many of us do not choose peace and harmony at every chance we get.....

Only each of us have the answer within ourselves for this.....

May you allow peace and harmony to live within and around you.

                                      Wellington Horse Show Grounds, Wellington, FL, USA

Dance of Life

What is life to you?  Sitting on a boat on beautiful aquamarine water; dancing or any kind of movement; listening to music; laughing with friends; reading a good book; watching the people I love happy; being with my animals -- these are what make me happiest.

I went to a belly dance class Monday night.  Woo hoo!  It was fun.  It was feminine.  It was beautiful.  It gave me great joy.  I checked into Pilates classes on Tuesday.  They are pretty full and they will call when they have open space for my daughter and I.  I'm reading a good book, I'm talking and laughing with friends (not quite visiting with them too much, yet); I'm seeing my loved ones succeed.

I am living life in a joyful way just now.  I say hip hip hooray.  I got here!  Whew.  What a ride! 

I've learned the more I accept my truth and not want it to be different, the easier my life force flows.  I've learned that sharing my truth enables others to more readily and easily share their own. To me, it feels almost like an 'awakening' each and every time.   I've learned that miracles can happen any minute of any day.  I've learned that hardship/chaos/'unsettlement' are a part of life.  Again, instead of my mind going to - "why" - "I don't want it this way" - "it was never this way before".... and accepting what is - my life goes smoother/easier/more graceful.  

By accepting what is - I surely do not mean to accept it, want it this way; like it this way when I really truly do not.   I mean live through it as best I can while I change it as the clock ticks away.  As I live my day, envision, create, feel, be smart about and involved in all aspects of what is.  This is a tall order at times.  So, I've learned to be in my truth and process what is prevalent in my current moment as best I can. 

Life is here for us to live.  Even when I'm at my lowest, not get out of bed moments; I realize now that I am living.  For me, this is a part of my life; of who I am.  It is my truth. 

May you live your life from your innermost knowing and accept it all as you envision and create what brings you greatest joy.  Good luck with this; I know it is in you just because you breathe. 

Lizard

In his book, "Animal Speak", Ted Andrews writes:

Lizard*:

"Lizard is an animal of great subtlety."

"Most also have a crested back, ruffs, or spines.  These serve as protection but they are also very symbolic.  Some have ruffs about the neck.  The neck is an area that bridges the higher and the lower, and lizards with them are those than can teach you how to bridge the subconscious with the conscious - dreaming with waking.  They can stimulate lucid dreaming"

"...usually reflect that the sensitivities of the chakras are heightened or about to be."

"It can also reflect that the kundalini or life force is active and flowing strongly, which will heighten all sensitivities - physical, emotional, mental, psychic, and spiritual."

"This indicates that your intuition and psychic perceptions are either already active or about to be activated more strongly.  Pay attention." 

"Individuals with a lizard totem should listen to their own intuition over anyone else's.  Lizard usually reflects heightened sensitivity.   You feel what others may not.  You will see things that others may miss.  You will hear things that are not being said.  No matter how strange it may seem, learning to follow those perceptions is what will enable you to succeed most frequently."

"The detachment [of the tail] is also part of what lizard can teach.  They can help us to become more detached in life to survive.  Sometimes it is necessary to separate ourselves or part of ourselves from others to be able to do the things we most desire to do.  The lizard helps us to awaken that ability for objective detachment so that it can occur with the least amount of difficulty.  Lizard can show up to help us break from the past.  It may even indicate a need to explore new realms and follow your own impulses before you get swallowed up in what is not beneficial to you."   Interesting after my last post, "One of Those Days".  Mmmmm

May you know where you stop and others start.  May you have boundaries that ignite your greatest strengths that are just as serving to you as to others.

*To read the complete information on 'lizard' ; please see Ted Andrews book.

One of Those Days

I had a terrific weekend with my family.  My daughter did great at the horse show and my husband was in town to enjoy it with us.  How lucky I felt being with them on a sunny day; all of us content.

Today, I have a quiet house that looks and feels like a hurricane hit it and I'm just going around around putting it in some sort of semblance that makes me most comfortable.

It's a beautiful day here in South Florida, USA.  The sun is bright; the sky is blue and the temperature is warm.  I had a big lizard (big to me anyway) visit me at my back patio twice this am.  It let me get close to snap it's picture.  What an interesting looking creature.  I felt like it looked right at me and I mentally told it I would not harm it.  Then it ran off the way it came.

I'm 'spinning' some in my head.  It seems that while I've been mostly alone these past two weeks; I seem to more easily get myself situated into a happy routine and then my family comes and wants me to do this or make that or help with this or be with that and I want to please them as much as I can.  I lose who I am.  I feel pulled and pushed; this part I'm not thrilled with.   Only I allow it; only I can create it to be what works best for me. 

So, while I gave up some of my personal plans (or changed them around), it was nice sharing time with my loved ones.  I want to not give up my personal thoughts and still fulfill their wants and desires while fulfilling my own.   I'm not sure how to do this.  I must have been absent the day this was taught as a lesson.   I am still learning this.  I hope to learn it sooner because I know I will feel empowered and strengthened by fulfilling my own needs along with others.  I truly do not know how I'm going to do it and I know that I am.   I think exercise is going to be my changing game point.  I feel once I take some classes, do movement on a regular, happy basis - this is going to allow me to feel like me and all else will fall into place.

I used to go to bed excitedly waiting for the next day that I can get up and exercise again.  It made me feel that good.  In fact, I never (back then) imagined that it wouldn't be a huge part of my life.  I was wrong.  Becoming a mother, facing illness and taking on bigger responsibilities by having many animals and huge homes took me away from it.   I allowed it.  I created it.  I participated in it fully.  If I didn't, it couldn't have happened; I believe.   It would have been the best ride ever if I didn't lose myself in it.  I take full responsibility. 

I now am going to allow movement to become huge in my life again and I'm going to create strength, beauty and love of life, which is what I believe exercise can do for me.

I just have to get my body to agree, respond and get on with it!  Ha.

I'm closer than I've been in several years.  I think my last bout of long term and continued heavy exercise was when I fell in love with Bikram yoga (hot yoga) and again found the wonderful anticipation of doing it again the next day immediately after I had just completed a class.  My child was in grade school then.  She just graduated from her senior year earlier this month.  That's a loooong time ago. 

The only other thing that I loved doing this much was the beach.   I'd be leaving the beach looking forward to doing it the next day.

Ahhhh, to love what one is doing.   Best LIFE any of us could give ourselves.

May you be doing what you love as best you can for today and strive to create your life as the life that you love living.

I believe we are all entitled to this; we only have to choose it, own it, work for it, allow it and know that we are born ABLE to create this; in every cell of our being.  (That's all we have to do!?!?!?!?)   And, this does mean you too, yes!  Ha.

Please Release Me

"I release all that is not me."   "I release all that is not mine." 

This 'mantra' came to me during a massage recently.  I kept repeating in my head  - "I release all that is not me."   "I release all that is not mine."

We all hold onto feelings, thoughts, ideas that come from outside sources.  Some are very helpful and feel good within.  Some feel very negative and hurtful to our being.

We all hold onto pain that is, perhaps, not ours; pain that we have seen or experienced through other's eyes.

I say, for me, at least - it is time to release all that is not me.   It is time to release all that is not mine.

After saying it for a whole day - that night, I did get release.  I experienced terrible pain in my belly.  This is about the time when I looked up belly and realized it's about being satisfied and feeling free.  I started sweating really good  and I released some of what isn't mine to experience.  I released situations that were not my lesson to learn because I held on to them for others while thinking this is the 'right' thing to do to show I care.  I felt their pain; I had to differentiate which was my pain and which was not. 

May you release what is not you and may you release what is not yours to own; especially if it is not serving you in a positive way. 

If it doesn't feel good; if it is something you are not sure you believe or something that did not happen to you.... may you let it go.  Own only what is yours to own.  May you learn to know the difference quickly and easily.  May you be compassionate and empathetic while not taking it on as your own.

Baby step by baby step or whichever way YOU want to step out today.  May you own only what truly belongs to you on your journey and not what belongs to others that they may or may not be able or ready to own themselves. 

I believe this just may be the most loving and helpful thing to do for each other.

We go on.  We let go.  We grow anew.

Going

I do not know where I'm going - but I'm going.  I feel it in my bones.  I am heading into a new chapter, a happier chapter.  I was going to say fulfilling, and I believe that these past two years of inner reflection may have been the most fulfilling of self I can get. 

Fulfilling togetherness would be heaven here on earth.

I KNOW it's something with movement, healing and creating new paths of consciousness, awareness, non-judgment, and a supportive being while allowing the beauty that sits in all of us shines. 

I do not know for sure where I'm going - AND, I'm going!

May you feel it in your bones the next best step forward for you.

Caught in the Middle

I'm not wanting to sit still and I'm not really ready to go strong.  I want to be and talk with people and I tire easily.  I feel itchy to do things and then something in the back of my mind tells me not to.  Is it habit at this point to not do things.  Or is it truly best for me to take it slow.  I feel like I'm acting like a 90 year old at times and a 5 year old at other times.

Talk about caught in the middle of myself.  Oh Yikes!  lol

It has been quite the journey to get here.  I'm OKAY and SATISFIED with where I'm at and I still want to strive to be at a more fulfilling place; more helpful place.  I am going to have a more alive and adventurous future once again.

I find myself hesitant.  I do not want to go backwards.  I want to continue living my truth even when the 'outside world' can easily persuade me to go outside of the realm of myself.  I want to stand firm and strong and follow my true self wherever I go.  Ha.

My daughter is showing her horse again this winter.  This is her second week.  I feel like they fly like the wind together.  It is so good for my heart to watch them do their thing.  The beauty is second nature when they are in the zone... I feel it, I see it, I almost experience it with them.   She has trained long and hard.  It shows.  I'm so grateful, happy and lucky that I get to experience this.  Our children are our best teachers and most precious gifts.   A smile on my child's face is probably the most beautiful thing I may ever see. 

So, as I'm giving it my all to accept where I'm at, I continue to create a better, more whole and balanced future.

May you let the awareness of yourself guide you into your perfect future.

Life Goes

Life is going.   Life is moving.   Life is being.

May you go; move and be.

I'm sitting here not certain which way I'm going.  I know I'm moving forward and creating anew.  I surely have learned how to just be.

I see a future (me) mingling, mixing, blending and surviving.  I see myself with great happiness and great connections to all living life.  I feel I'm here to help others to find and walk their path of who, what, and how.  I want to know how to help others create the best of themselves because they want to.

Inside of me there is STILL a great resistance to this knowing; a fear to my ability and deservance.  (Deservance is not a word, however, I feel it belongs here.  Ha)

I be with what is as I go, move and create a wondrous ongoing life for myself and allow and encourage others to do the same.

Which way do you see yourself heading.....

May you see, feel and know YOU.

Joy and Health

"Joy in what we do is not an added feature; it is a sign of deep health."  Mark Nepo

May you know joy today in many things you do.  Do it for your health.

Coldddddd

I am so very happy that I am not up north in the 0 deg C temperatures.  It is 61 here and it kinda sorta 'hurts' to walk the dogs.  I have layers on and, while I love breathing in the fresh cool air, my body seems to tighten and shrink to protect it from the cold.  I know for most people 66 is not cold, but to someone with scleroderma or raynauds, it is not always comfortable.  Our hands and, sometimes feet, can get purple because the circulation slows way down close to stopping.  Our face, hands and feet become numb.  It is quite uncomfortable.   A trip to the freezer section of the grocery store is like I've gone to Antarctica.  Yikes.

Anyway, I am very grateful to be down south instead of up north.  I hope all my friends and family; and even all of you, that are up there that I have not had the pleasure of meeting, are skiing, sitting by a fire with hot chocolate or warm tea (or coffee) and a blanket; and keeping the tip of your nose from freezing!   Enjoy wearing the boots and the leggings, the hats and the scarves - I appreciate your strength in getting from one location to the next!  Ha.  I know most Huskies like this cold, I know most little dogs do not.  I think about the deer looking for food.  I think about the quiet of the stillness.  I think 0 deg F is not for human life!  Oh my!

So, wherever you are; whatever you are doing; whoever you are....

May you find comfort in your ability to do just that -- find comfort.

Deterrents

A deterent to my professional career would be that I cannot zip the zipper on my clothes.  It takes me longer to get ready because of the disease that is getting ready to blow out.

A deterent would be no one would want me.

The truth is that I am honorable, work hard, give my all and truly care.

I say heck with the deterents and on with the truth!

May you do the same!

Professional

I am going to my first professional meeting in 19 years!  Yikes!  I am so excited and I am so jumping out of my skin and shaky.

It's to help a school get international accreditation.  I sure hope the people that invited me know what they are doing!!!  I sure hope I don't shut the school down!

Of course, in my brain, I know that they wouldn't invite me if they didn't think I'd be good for the school.  I know that I can handle this and come across professionally and, hopefully, helpful.

I feel like I'm not going to be able to speak and I'll say something wrong.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity and I do not want to let anyone down.

So, off I go.  Ms. Professional.  I pray this is only the beginning and, maybe, just maybe, I can help others as a profession and have another great career start up soon.

It's all up to me.  Am I able enough...  I will find out. 

Baby steps.  I'm real good at baby steps.  Currently, it is all I have.  I guess I'm glad I have them.

May you take baby steps when it's all you have... I know giant steps come when they are supposed to.  Work hard, play hard, be true and follow my inner knowing.  This is my game plan.

Do you know yours? 

               

Sometimes 2

Sometimes I get really dizzy writing these posts.   Is it my truth and my ego fighting against each other to be victor to what is...

I sometimes get nauseous learning what is inside of me as I write.  Sometimes I have no clue what will come off of my stubbed fingertips. 

My mind spins as what I write my brain almost has no connection to or is certainly unaware ahead of time what will be typed.

I get tired and surprised.  I get anxious and frustrated.  I get angry and uncertain.

Sometimes, I don't 'hear' it until I catch myself writing the same thing for a third time.

Oh, it's funny how the brain works.  It's funny how subconscious works.  It's brilliant how we humans work and it's sometimes  'just because' that we do.

May you allow yourself 'to work' just as you were born to BE.  No judgment, no second guessing, no chickening out!  Ha.

       

Obama

President Barrack Obama of the United States of America was sworn in today for his second term.  May, we as Americans and all throughout the world be the best of who we are.

May we support each other as best we can.  If support is impossible for one, may that one speak lovingly of their own truth.

I know I do much better when I feel supported.  When I feel unsupported, I can almost lose my way.  This is me now; I'm remembering that sometimes not feeling supported made me work and fight harder.  Either way, it is my truth as much as I could allow it then and do now. 

We are alive here together now. 

May we not allow fear, hurt, or sadness to arise from ourselves as something different such as anger, silence or unconnected bravado.  May we find a common bond as often as possible to create the best world we have ever seen.

May our truth, whether we want to admit it or not, be told and received with open hearted understanding.  May we be supported as we speak and share ourselves through our fear, hurt or sadness.

May our vulnerability be our strength.  May being vulnerable be our true bravado. 

Not one of us go unscathed.  Not one of us go without doubt or fear.   Not one of us can live alone 100% of the time.

May it be the time for togetherness, support and truth. 

Yes, fear happens.  Fear paralyzes.  The only way through it is to be brave enough to let it come and, if lucky, find someone to hold our hand while we conquer what, perhaps, is sometimes only in our mind.

May we, together, live towards a happier self.

May fear work for you more than against you.

Live on. 

Satisfied and Free

I am satisfied and free.  If I am not, it's only because of myself.   I am the only one that can give me satisfaction and freedom.  I am the only one that can keep me unsatisfied and chained.

May you be satisfied and free.

Sometimes

Sometimes within me there is something that doesn't want to be me.  Something that scares me so greatly that if I show all of me to the world, I will either get negative and ugly feedback or I'll get such great feedback I won't be able to stand it.  When I see a large group of people cheering for one person, I wonder how that one person can stand the spotlight.   (as when I first watched the movie Rudy on my weekend challenge adventure that I recently wrote about.)   I understand it more than I did then and, yet, it still horrifies me (like why am I even worried about this!)  Ha.

Sometimes, I'm scared to win just as much as I'm scared to lose.  Sometimes I'm afraid to be seen just as much as I'm afraid to be seen as invisible.

Can I handle tomorrow?  Will I be okay no matter what?  Am I good enough?  Can I succeed?  Will I be okay if I fail?

These are all questions I have asked myself.  In truth, I have probably answered them all also.  Most likely in a negative light, as well as a positive light!

Is this just being human?  Is this the complexity and yet the simpleness of being a person with feelings....do we all have access to the gamut of these feelings....

May you sit deep within yourself; own yourself and know that you come from greatness -- the miracle of birth and, perhaps, so much more. 

May you honor your Creator by being the person you were created to be.

Black Panther

I've always loved the black panther.  I have a few stuffed animals and artwork of the black panther.  I was wondering why I chose the black panther on my last post. 

I know somewhere in this blog I have posted about the black panther previously.

Something told me to go online and look up the meaning of the black panther (whats-your-sign.com).  This is what I found....

"The panther animal totem is a very powerful and protective presence. If you have this creature as your totem, you are blessed to have such a fierce and aggressive guardian with you.

The panther is a symbol of courage, valor and power. The panther has also sometimes associated with the sun, and solar vibrancy in some cultures (South American, & Central American).

Individuals with panther totems are usually people who come into this world with a spiritual knowing - a deeper understanding of spiritual things. These people often are very intuitive, psychic, and many are artistically inclined.

Of all the panthers, the black panther has the greatest mysticism associated with it. It is a symbol of the mother, the dark moon and the power of the night. The black panther encourages us to understand the shadow powers available to us all, to acknowledge these powers and to eliminate our fears of the darkness.

When the black panther totem appears in your life, it is also a symbol of releasing your passions, and starting a new phase of your life. A phase in which you are discovering your desires, and living your dreams."

I surely see some appropriateness....

May you connect to the gift(s) within you and the direction of your choosing.

   

Winding Down

I feel that I am finally getting a stronger footing on this Earth of ours.  I've been out to a movie, had a massage and am extremely tired and NOT uptight.

I think I've been extremely tired AND uptight.

I'm thinking there is a big difference to these two 'tireds'.  One I can be tired and let go; the other I'm tired and still feel apprehensio
n or anguish even. 

I continue to move forward, play ME out and see where I end up.

Many people I encounter are encouraging and thanking me for some information I state or some words I write to them.  Without sounding over the top or 'big-headed' - some are telling me what a 'gift' I am.

I'm liking it.  I don't think I was open to this before.  I'm not sure what to do with it.  I certainly don't want to get mean, nasty or have a better than every one attitude or even come across as such.  

A person, who I just met today, said they felt more blessed because of our encounter together.  What a gift they gave me by being brave, true and open enough to share this after just meeting. 

This information can certainly give me a big head and I can also look at it like I've done my work to gather the true me; I'm ready to help as best I can; ready to share; ready to 'play' big in our world.

It also terrifies me because I surely do not want responsibility for others' lives; yet I would love if they could do one thing different; say or hear one thing differently to be a happier them in correlation to my own truth (if this is what they choose or need).

So, I slowly step out amongst the living beings of our day and I slowly embrace what is; what can be; what does and doesn't occur and which direction I'd like to see us all go.    GETTING OUR TRUTH AND OUR HAPPY ON....

May you have your truth and your happy ON more and more each day.  I believe the most important is our truth.  Our truth of who we are; what we feel; how we think while allowing everyone we encounter to do the same exact thing.

We are all here at this time together.  This is a fact.  What we do with this time is in our control.  Our whole hearted reaction is, perhaps, what matters most. 

May you cognitively be aware of how you affect each person you encounter.  (This idea from a man on an old Oprah Show on the OWN network.) 

Of all the 'weirdo' stuff I've shared on this blog; this is one I sit with before I published for a bit....  Why am I so hesitant about this one...... because I talk positive and good about myself.....because I like being called a 'gift'....because I'm achieving what I've worked so hard to achieve (peace, understanding, connection)....yikes

 

Marianne Williamson

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
 Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves - who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous, powerful?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

Now is the time to let your light shine."     Marianne Williamson


I believe these words are so brilliant.  It is time for us all to take heed and live our full life; empowered. 

May you see yourself living your full, whole self and may you aspire to do, be and live all of who you are from inside yourself, out loud; lovingly.

Marianne Williamson Power Poem

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
 Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves - who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous, powerful?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

Now is the time to let your light shine."     Marianne Williamson

I have posted this poem two other times.   Once under the false belief that Nelson Mandela wrote it and then, again, under the correct author, Marianne Williamson.

I believe it is so brilliant; it is time for us all to take heed and live our full life.

May you see yourself living your full, whole self and may you aspire to do, be and live all of who you are from inside outloud lovingly.

Horses

My daughter started showing at the winter horse show today.   I so love watching the power of the horse and the one-ness with the rider sail over the jumps so eloquently and together.  It surely is a dual effort.  I believe my daughter to be magical as she does this. 

The weather was beautiful.  To me, this is 80 degrees with a beautiful breeze.  Palms trees, bougainvillea and impatiens bountiful.  It truly felt like a type of dry paradise.

People competing against each other, yet friendly.  I'm sure there is rivalry; competition breeds rivalry.  I was always more about competing against myself and seeing how I can be the best that I can be and encourage others to do the same.

Yes, I have had some people over the years that just didn't connect with me and me with them; yet, if we took the time OR I took the time to look deep enough, there was always some sort of same-ness to be found.

I am finally starting to relax in body, mind and spirit and it feels fabulous.   I am letting go.   I do not have to fight the cold weather.  I do not have people at my house every day.  It's more about me than my house.  The dogs are starting to walk easier.  When we first started walking with the leash (because of the lack of a yard), they would just hang with me.  We are now walking further and further and not stopping every minute to smell every smell.

It was somewhat cute how when a car would pull into the parking lot, the dogs thought it was someone visiting them.  It was a change for them that when a car pulled up to their home, that the person(s) in the car was not there to visit them.  They would sit and watch.  Little Tiffany hunkers down and doesn't budge so she can see who they are.  All six pounds of her are pressed hard to the ground as if I wouldn't be able to pull her on.   I don't.   I wait.  (most of the time!)

So, as I'm settling in; each day feeling easier; I feel myself relaxing, letting go, giving up the fight of survival.  I can now just survive without a fight.

Yes, I believe I have created the 'fight' on my own.  However, it didn't come about because I wished for it or pulled it out of the air.  My feelings; beliefs; thoughts came about for real reasons.  I am aware of the reasons now and I can choose to hold on to the ones that make me happy and I can choose to work on changing the ones that are still hurtful.

May you be aware of your reasons for thinking the way you believe and feel; and may you know what to do with them to get your happy on.

Future U

“Coaching is about supporting the client to become independently empowered to support him- or herself. You’ve heard the phrase “location, location, location.” From my experience in coaching, it’s about “the client does the work, the client does the work, the client does the work.”

 

“I think we are seeing a greater acceptance of integrating prevention activities, such as exercise, into one’s lifestyle. Our values are changing; it is the silver lining to the economic downturn. People are really thinking about what is important in their lives now and are making the connection between saving money, their quality of life and using exercise as a prescription for disease prevention.” 

                                                                                   Richard T. Cotton, MA

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“Health is about getting to the underlying cause of problems. It is about looking at what we eat, how physically active we are, do we sleep well at night, do we quit smoking, what kind of toxins are we exposed to and how resilient are we when we’re dealt a curve ball that leads to stress or depression. This is where the fitness and wellness industry has a very unique opportunity,” Guarneri says.   

 

“We are spending 17% of our gross domestic product on treating seven chronic diseases [heart disease, diabetes, asthma, some cancers, hypertension, stroke, and obesity] that can be shifted by lifestyle change.”                                                                     

                                                                                  Mimi Guarneri, MD, FACC

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“Ideally, the more you’re able to engage an individual in [his or her own] healing process, the more effective treatment will be. We want to empower people with the knowledge and understanding of how to get better. Historically, we haven’t been doing that,” Anbar says.                                  Tomer, Anbar, PhD

 

 

The above is taken from "Fitness and Wellness Industry Game Changers: A Window into the Next 30 Years"

by Rosalind Gray Davis, IDEA Fitness Journal January 2013

 

May you breathe, stretch and smile today and be aware that you are doing it!

 

Nothing

Happy National (and for anyone who wants it) Nothing Day!  Need I say more? 

"This un-event, first observed in 1973, was created by newspaperman Harold Pullman Coffin "to provide Americans with one national day when they can just sit without celebrating, observing, or honoring anything." Funny this desire for uneventfulness should come from a man whose entire career depends on something happening every day."   theultimateholidaysite.com

May you know what to do with 'nothing' and do it very well.  Ha

Shed a Tear

I have heard this phrase a lot lately and I hear some condemning others for crying but not 'shedding a tear'.  I believe they reference this to not being a real cry; or a person not being real because tears do not come.

I'd like to share that because of the disease scleroderma (or so professionals have told me), that the reason I don't have tears when I am sad and/or crying, is because my tear ducts have been affected by the disease.

In fact, I remember during one of my 'sessions', that I did actually feel a tear slide down my cheek.... I let it.  I embraced it.   It felt so good.  Not often do I get this great experience of the body shedding tears because of sadness or even happiness.

Next time your body works properly and the tears come, please (if it feels right for you), embrace them.  It is a natural response for your body.

May you allow your body and mind what it needs and be able to quickly release any fear that comes beforehand; out of habit or for whatever reason.

May we focus on what is inside of us as/when referenced to another.

*Note:  when I went to dictionary.com to check out the word 'referenced', the word of the day is 'preconcert' meaning... "to arrange in advance or beforehand, as by a previous agreement".  Hoot!

May you be aware of previous agreements you may have made with yourself in regards to reacting and see if this same agreement works for you now.  Ha.

Want It All

Approximately 15 years ago, I had an "outing" with a woman that was a spiritual teacher, healer, helper.  Her and I went to a gorgeous beach house in Ocean City, New Jersey, USA for a weekend.   She left me one night alone in the big house to watch the movie "Rudy".  We ate healthy meals together.   We drew pictures, sat in silence, had massages....  She had me blow up a balloon.  And, with my mouth, blowing a balloon is NOT an easy thing.  I was so mad at first, but I did it... Elation followed.   I was dancing.  I even did somersaults.   It was a pretty wonderful, crazy experience.  One I will never ever forget and one I will always and forever be grateful for.

While unpacking my home in FL (from storage) to my apartment in Florida,  I found my poem that I wrote at the end of this same weekend.  I loved it so much I had it done by an artist professionally (Batson) and framed.

I'd like to share it with you.

My picture...my vision is about..having it all.  I want to dance, sing, dine out, travel, play music, enjoy sports, be with friends, explore new places and ideas.  I want to love my friends, and chose the ones that will help me expand my life and grow along with my families.  I want to be who I am and help others to be who they are.  I want to be connected to everything and everyone.  I want to watch Jessica grow and live and succeed and even fail.  I want to be there for her always.  I want Scott to fulfill his dreams and love me til he dies and thereafter.  I want to be with Scott forever.  I want to laugh, cry, learn, fail.  I want warmth all over me.  I want to have it all.

What do you want?....

Three Words

"Living Life Alive"  Gudni

Are you ready..... let's go...

Where I'm At

Well, I just wrote about birth and death and why, perhaps, the elderly get less able, less agile and more dependent.  And, babies come into this earth pretty much the same way.

Perhaps, God makes it this way so that we are less fearful of our future.  As babies, if we had to take in the FULL world here on Earth all at once - it just may be too much.

The longer we live, the more things change... perhaps, this helps us with the letting go process.

I was wondering about if I, perhaps, I have come full circle with these thoughts in my head. 

I wrote about how I transposed a thought this morning.  This thought was "how nice that I know how to be still" as I took in the beauty of the water going through the fountains, the sound of the fountains and sitting on a big comfortable couch looking at my dogs that were well rested because we had just had an extra long walk for us. 

I then went to the dictionary to look up transposed to make sure I was using the word accurately and the word of the day was "vertex" meaning the highest point of something; apex, summit, top (dictionary.com). 

As I went back to my blog, my mind (for only a split second) just knew that what I had originally written was gone.  It disappeared.

So, above is a quick version. 

I am still struggling with bringing this new ME out into our world.  I have been transformed.   I am me, but different.  I am Awake.  I find this a scary place to be.  I do not know how the world will take me.   I do not know where I fit in.  I am what is.

So, why I continue to give you where I'm at in a nutshell, I leave you with these quotes....

""Your just anxious,"  Clare began.  "Anxious?  Anxious isn't in the same hemisphere with what I am.  This is crazy.  This isn't like me.  I don't even know where I am.""*

"The beat of silence that followed tolled like a bell."*

"We're involved, you and me.  You matter.  I'm telling you what I'm going to do because I figure when people are involved, when they matter, they tell each other."*

"Boy! Never thought thinking was so much hard work."**

*From the book "The Next Always:  Book One of the Inn BoonsBoro Trilogy" by Nora Roberts.
**From the book "Trapped" by George Bernstein

Brave

 

"Being brave is about being true to yourself and allowing your loved ones that same freedom."  Mark Andrews

May you be totally 'brave' today. 

Day of Oh Boys

I had a full day today.  I had many opportunities to learn a better me.  I had beautiful weather on my skin and craziness in my heart.

I feel that I didn't do too well in settling in.  I feel somewhat lost as to how to proceed further.  I have a few maintenance issues; a few lost issues; a few change in plans issues and a whole lotta waiting for something to happen that I will not be able to handle issues.

When, in truth, everything, YES, everything that has come into my life, I have handled.  I may not have handled beautifully everything, however, I survived it all.  I enjoyed what I could, I endured what I had to and I accepted, or fought with everything I am, certain situations.

This is what we humans do.  Being human is a challenge.  Being human is a joy.  Being human is learning experience after learning experience if we are open to it.  We humans can achieve anything if we want it bad enough and choose never to give up.  We humans 'feel' when we let ourselves and many of us are also very good at numbing ourselves into not feeling.  We really choose the way we react to everything.  My thinking is that sometimes it's necessary to feel and sometimes it's good to not feel.  Perhaps, this is why we have the option.

I'm not reacting in my best light just now.   I am not reacting in ways I know how to.  I have unconsciously chosen to react by just letting my reactions run amuck today. 

Tomorrow, my goal is to be more eurhythmic.  Ha.  While making sure 'amuck' worked in the sentence by looking the word up at dictionary.com, eurhythmic was the word of the day.

Eurhythmic means "characterized by a pleasing rhythm; harmoniously ordered or proportioned". (dictionary.com)

May you have an eurhythmic kind of day.

Reminded

My post about my great nap and the blanket on the couch was hard for me to admit.  The lack of being able to cover myself on the couch comfortably, even as a 52 year old woman, had me feeling so childish talking about this.  It was extremely strange.

Even the words and their sentences came out and found their own place on the post page.  I did not create the post to be written that way.  It just happened and, in truth, I did not know how to bring it back to my normal format so I just decided to go with it.  Whammo.

The post reminded me of a situation when I was working as a Personal Trainer.   I had a wonderful elderly couple in their 80s.  I was referred by my very first client who was in her 90s and she hired me so she could just get in and out of a chair easily.  This 90 something woman was lifting a barbell over her head by the time she gave up.  It was very cool for me (but I'm getting off the subject).  

I showed up one day and it was the man's birthday.  I had the great honor of encouraging and supporting them to have their very last dance right there in their living room in front of me.  What an honor.  (I know it was their last dance because one of them died very shortly thereafter.) 

To continue on.... the man began to tell me a story about how when he was 9, he got a bike for his birthday.  But something went awry and it was taken from him from his parents in a very mean manner.  Right there, as he was telling his story, he cried.  I was so taken aback that this man, over 80 years old, would cry over something that happened to him when he was 9.  I realized then that all the years; all the circumstances good and bad; all the feelings and emotions we ever breathe through are right here with us always.   Right here with us unless we mentally and physically release them through hard work and feeling them.   They do not go away.  They get buried deep until, and if, we are brave enough to feel them.

So, when I covered myself with a blanket, I was creating a new road; opening a new window for myself.  As simple as this sounds, it sure felt epic. (and wonderful)

May you do something so 'simple' today that it becomes epic.....

Plant

I purchased a plant today; a blooming plant.  A red New Guinea Impatien plant.   I felt good.  I felt happiness.  I put in on my back porch on an empty cement pedestal and felt the porch come to life and color!   I feel good.

How the simple things in life can be so rewarding; so enjoyable and so fulfilling.  I have it next to my beautiful 3 waterfall cement fountain.  There is energy out on my patio; good, flowing energy.  I like it.

I have some wonderful helpers here helping me and it feels so good to sit in a clean room. 

I sit in gratefulness just now.  Great gratefulness.  This is my life and I realize only I can own it.  I also realize the power that comes with owning one's own life. 

May you sit in gratefulness and let it fill you with joy.

May you do something, however small, that brings you ownership of doing just this because it simply feels good to you.

A Great Rest

I had the best nap today.  I slept so peacefully.  I had the door open with the sound of the fountain and the wonderful warmth of the air.  Soft music was playing on the television and I had a blanket on me laying on my couch.

 Note:  I just had a conversation with a friend yesterday that I could never relax on the couch with a blanket as a child.  I was always told to get up so the blanket could be folded.  Yikes.   

  

 I went to a place that was healing, relaxing, allowing and totally restful.  My body, mind and soul were grateful.  My body mind and soul were happy.

   My body, mind and soul were one.

May you allow yourself to be, feel and do exactly what is 'knocking at your door' to do.

 Do you dare listen to all your needs and feel good?

I, with great hope, hope that you do.

                                                                                     
 This is an actual picture of a sky-writer's artwork.   It was in with my belongings that were in storage. Cool, yes?

Beauty

I was coming to sit at my computer and, as my pictures comprise my screen saver,  I, for the first time, noticed the 'rainbow of color' coming down on this beautiful man-made waterfall area at LaQuinta in Palm Springs area of California, USA. 

I just wanted to share the beauty of this.  I hope you can see it.

May you stop and share the beauty that you encounter with others.

Wide Awake

I'm wide awake and cannot seem to sleep.  I, very rarely, am wide awake and cannot sleep.  I see the Tarot Cards not put away from the move yet.  After eating a peanut butter english muffin - which is extremely rare for me to eat anything at one in the morning, I spread the cards out face down and slowly swipe my hands above them with my eyes closed feeling for heat.  I do not feel heat right away (which is extremely unusual) and I can only pull one from the deck (another rarity).  Mmmm

Anyhoo.....

The Four of Swords is shown....

"Four downward swords are thrust safely in the earth.  Seated either in front - or below within the earth - is a woman, though she is somewhat androgynous in appearance.  She is deep in meditation.  She has withdrawn into herself.  Her unconscious is represented by the earth, which allows the conditions above just to be.  She remains unattached to the conditions and to her thoughts, which she releases as they arise.

Tarot Wisdom:  Take time for meditation, rest, passivity and recouping your strength.  Take a break from routine or from stress.  This is not a time to take on new challenges, but to restore your resources, both spiritual and physical."

*From the book "The Alchemical Tarot" by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place.

Is it a good time for you to restore, regroup and create stress-free moments that last longer and longer?

Flu Epidemic

 

I  normally do not get 'sick'.  I do not get colds, the flu, sore throats, a runny nose.   I'm sick everyday, but I do not get usual sicknesses.

I am hearing word about the FLU.  It's everywhere, it's everywhere. 

SO, I went to wonderful Louise L. Hay's book "Heal Your Body" and looked up FLU.



"Influenza"

"Probably Cause:  Response to mass negativity and beliefs.  Fear.  Belief in statistics.

New Thought Pattern:  I am beyond group beliefs or the calendar.  I am free from all congestion and influence."



May your knowledge (as practical as possible, and when you know it feels true to you) come from deep within you instead of outside sources.

What if everything we need; we already have; just have to choose to pay attention to 'self'.

"You know you got it if it makes you feel good"  Janis Joplin

                                               

Two of Spades

Two of Spades  (serenapowers.com)

"Separation, gossip and deceit. Difficult changes"

This was the card I picked this morning for fun....  

My husband is up north; I am here.  My daughter's last day of high school is this week (early graduation - yippee) and she will be heading over to Wellington to be with her horses and having (hopefully) her best winter yet, with the freedom of no school (she has worked very hard to achieve this).  I am a very proud mom.

And, this time, moving into a new home, it has been most difficult compared to my other moves.

AND, I am on my way and not giving up and know sun shiny days are mine to live!

May you see the sunshine through the clouds always.

 

Itch

I have been itchy lately.  Itch-itch-itch

So, I went to Louise L. Hay's book "Heal Your Life" and looked up itching.  In fact, it was on this exact page on my kindle when I turned it on.  (I'm having way too much fun now. Ha!)

It read:

"Itching
Probable Cause:  Desires that go against the grain.  Unsatisfied.  Remorse.  Itching to get out or get away.

New Thought Pattern:  I am at peace just where I am.  I accept my good knowing all my needs and desires will be fulfilled."

I say PRETTY GOOD STUFF!

lol     Do I dare step out and live??????

May you be at peace; just where you are.

Rainy Day

It's a rainy day here in West Palm, Florida, USA.  I had a early start with walking the dogs and went back to sleep.

I don't know what to write.  I resist writing that the older I get the more I realize the depth of life and my own reaction to living.

Settling in to a new home does not happen overnight.  I know this.  Also, as I age, I notice much more about settling in and the time and adjustment period that is needed.  I'm discombobulated with 'things' and unsettled and know that now is the time -- anything can happen.  I opened a new huge door and I can accept and allow new and wonderful things or I can bring my old stuff right here with me.

I'm hoping to release my old stuff that no longer serves my road to wellness and open new doors and windows that enhance my life experience.

THIS IS HARD WORK.

I have to actually think out, plan, decide and negotiate with myself to create my life for tomorrow.  When I was younger, I just acted, adjusted, loved and didn't worry about tomorrow.  I just knew it would take care of itself.  And, it did (but accepting the flow was easier for me then).  I had a beautiful younger life.  It was full of adventure, fun, people and working hard and playing hard.

So, life changes.  Woo hoo.  Mmmmm

I get to use my mind and my heart to create and flow with these life changes.  I have to use my mind and my heart.  THIS IS WORK.

Why can't I just know what to do immediately, do it, having fun doing it and go to the next thing...

Nooooo.  It doesn't work this way for me anymore.  I have to plea out to myself and rearrange my thinking and everything around me.  I have to speak up to let people know my needs if I want to get them met.  I have to come out of dead ends and create new streets to be in the world as it is today and as I am today.

So, trusting the process and accepting what is and going with the flow are all really useful tools.  Learning how to use these tools easily and steadily is where I get stumped.

So, I go on.  We always go on.....until we don't.

May we all just go on and breathe and share our true selves as we do...  GO ON.

May you allow yourself to create/live a beautiful picture of your life today.

Burn

I burned my arm the other day.  I blame it on that my oven up north is high off the ground.  Here, in the south, my oven is low on the floor.  So, while reaching in, I burned the top of my arm.  I didn't feel it for two days although it was red.  However now it is oozing and I feel it.  It's clean and I'll be just fine, however, it made me think to look up 'burn' in the Louise L. Hay book "Heal Your Body".

This is what I read:

"Problem:  Burns

 Probably Cause:  Anger. Burning up.  Incensed.

 New Thought Pattern:  I create only peace and harmony within myself and in my environment.  I deserve to feel good."

Well, I can say this is exactly what I am going through. I had anger and frustration these past two weeks, at times, while settling in. 

I know I have some guilt that I am getting my way to be in Florida in the wintertime.

So, "burns", from this approach, was pretty right on!

May you feel pretty right on today (in moments, at the very least)!

Ten of Spades

After writing about worthiness - I decided to pick a playing card.....

Ten of Spades (SerenaPowers.com)

"Misfortune and worry. Imprisonment. Unwelcome news."

I imprison myself by my worry.  I do not want to hear that I still have worthiness issues.  Yet, today, in this moment, I do.

May you not imprison yourself by your thoughts.  Let them go if they do not feel good. 

I'm guessing if one took time to study our own thoughts, we would come up with at least one thought that keeps life energy imprisoned within.  I'm thinking I have way more than one!

Questioning if I am unworthy without a connection to others.... Mmmmm   This is a good place for me to start and LET GO.

OR is it to connect more with others and allow my worthiness to grow.......   Ah My Aching Head!   

Todays a New Day

What does this mean - today is a new day?  It means we can start fresh and new?  Maybe.  Another chance of living life...  Another chance of enjoying things or changing things...  Another chance of being happy or owning/making our place in this world that, by the way, we all live under the very same moon of...  Possibly.

May today be a new day for you!

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                                   My picture browser is currently not working - this is all I have!  lol

Different

My apartment is quite a different size from my home up north.  I am feeling like we are on top of each other and within ear shot and I feel my family's energy almost always.   This is neither good nor bad news as far as I'm concerned; just different.

I know it is much harder for me to sit at my computer and focus on blogging and to keep myself 'here' and 'present'.  I seem to not be able to focus with the TV on or if someone talks to me.  My mind and thought process gets interrupted easily.

So, I am feeling that it is not easy to stay connected to me, this computer and my thoughts alone.  This will be interesting to see how I handle this.

I truly do not feel that this is negative at all.  I feel it is interesting and I like the change.  I do not know what I'm going to do with it; however, a new opportunity is upon me and I find myself, mostly, embracing it.

I'm thinking that you, too, probably have new opportunities at your doorstep/windows. 

May you know which ones to close and which ones to walk through AND may you do just that.  How exciting!

Moving On

As I settle in (and it ain't easy); I feel everything.  As I move on, I process much.   As I relax into my new life here, I feel guilt that I'm getting what I want.

I am extremely good at THINKING TOO MUCH!!!!

My girlfriend tells me I'm doing good, I'm getting through - Now, just let go of the guilt.  My sister tells me I always get through it and know what to do when I listen to myself.  Another wonderful friend tells me even though I'm not feeling good; I get the job done.  I like what they tell me!

I'm learning that if I do not feel connected to people in a positive light, I do not feel worthy.  Mmmmm
 What is this about...

I know my worthiness comes from who I am, what I do and, in truth, just because I'm here on this earth now with all of you. 

Yet, (ugh, there has to be a yet!), I feel most worthy when I'm helping others.  I feel most worthy when I'm connecting to people on a human level; on a level that we all have something in common - we all have hearts and we all breathe.    People that I can share with, help and create laughter in our hearts; this is when I feel most worthy and most alive.

Am I worthy alone.....   I KNOW the answer is YES...I'm not sure I believe this in every cell of my body. 

May you have laughter in your heart today.

Uh Oh

I lost track what day of the week it is.  With my husband being on two weeks vacation; the holidays and moving into an apartment in Florida, I have lost my mind.  It's gone missing! 

For the past two days, I have lost track of many things!  The day of the week, the step stools, my phone...all normal (and not so normal) 'stuff'.  And, this is just this morning!   yikes

My head is reeling.  I am way off schedule and having the feeling of certainty. 

I'm asking myself if it's my age, my medicine, my life, -- What?   I suppose the answer is it's my age, my medicine, my life just now.  I am settling into a new normal.  I am pushing for what I believe in; what I want.   I am reaching for my heart's contentment.  And, I would not call it easy.  I do think I have let go of the word impossible; for now. 

There is less to do each day as far as settling in.  The beds are able to be slept in, the big furniture is where it is going to be.  The fountains are up and running.  I love the flow of water and the sound of the trickle as it moves through the motor and down the slope only to recycle again. 

I don't remember it being this hard to remember or to readjust before.  I have moved several times in my lifetime (this may be my 11th) and I don't remember it being quite the challenge that I am experiencing this time around.  It is still exciting.  I still feel lucky.  I still know gratefulness.  I also know challenge.  However, the challenges are small and I am certain they will go away more and more as I process them each day. 

I used to love living here for 6 months and up north for 6 months.  When I tired of one life - I went onto the next.  The feeling of stability is becoming more important to me.  I still love the adventure, however, the adventurous part of me seems to be pretty content right now. 

Watching my daughter graduate high school, enter a college and compete with her horses this winter is where I want to focus.  It's great fun watching the young kids grow up and spread their wings and fly their own course.  It amazes me how I couldn't and cannot predict most of the things they find their way to.  We have some really great kids following their own footsteps and getting ready to lead our world.  Our world is going to be okay, largely, due to their beauty, brilliance and greatness. 

I feel privileged to know many great 'kids'.  I look forward to being amazed.

So, as I go on with my day - I hope to forgive myself for not being perfect, for not doing better when I am doing my best and for not being able even if my heart wants it with everything I am.

May you practice forgiveness of self today.

I've heard it said - how harshly we judge others; we judge ourselves double that; at least.  Is this an OUCH for you?  Perhaps, we can choose to let go of some of the judging of others until we've walked in their shoes -- and that is never 100% going to happen.  We are all unique and we all have a purpose and we are all doing the best we can.  Do you believe.....

                                                           Street in Wellington, Florida