The Fight Within

I am pushing forward into and onto my 'happy'.  I am having resistance from the part of me that isn't sure how deserving I am; what makes me happy; and I hear this voice that is questioning who am I to be happy.

As I pursue my happy, the resistance steps up as dizziness, confusion and even dis-ease.  I will acknowledge whatever comes up and step back and watch it and know that it is not ME.  It is either old habits, some kind of protection from danger (perceived or real) and just stepping out of where I've been to where I'm creating I am going. My new mentor; the intuitive healer has helped me to put words to this resistance within.

Parts of my body and mind are content where we are.  We know that where we are we can do and be okay; survive.  When stepping into the new or unknown, there is a uncertainty of safety and success is inevitable.  Resistance steps in to question same, perhaps. 

The discomfort is or can be a gift.  It can be a sign that change is coming and/or inevitable.  It can be a question as to step in and acknowledge and feel/see/create the next step with awareness and self empowerment. 

This being human is not easy for me.  And, yet, I know this being human is why I am... human that is.  This is the reason we are all here - to experience this life and all it's ups/downs, highs/lows, ins/outs, etc.

To experience and allow the experience with trust of self is to win at being human.

May you experience.  May you win at being human.  Stay present.  Stay in your truth.  Trust the process that shows itself to you.  It is there for you and present for real reasons.  In this trust and presence, life unfolds into the most magical experience of YOU.

May you experience the magic of you; again and again and again.  The process is what living is all about.  Walk through.  'Through' is the moment of living.  It is the living. 

What Feels True

This was my horoscope last week before I met with the 'Intuitive Healer'.  I was nervous and excited.  I was weary and hopeful.

Taurus last week:

"Opportunities to make a fresh start regarding work and lifestyle issues show up this week as the New Moon urges you on."   "An upbeat influence could bring inspirational thoughts or "even enhance the possibility of personal healing".  horoscope.com

The 'healer' was very helpful in supporting what I knew I needed to do to proceed forward.  Just having someone listen and support what we are feeling is such a gift.  This is what he did for me along with giving me encouragement to believe in myself and what is inside of myself to do.  He helped me to connect to my own permission to allow, embrace and do exactly what makes me happy. 

May you find your own permission to allow, embrace and do exactly what makes you happy.  I support you on.

You are allowed to be happy.  In fact, it is your responsibility to be just that... happy!  May you connect to your happy.  Baby steps allowed.  Giant leaps welcomed.

                                                                Unknown

Creating what Will Be

As I become more and more 'in tune' with my feelings, my thoughts, my desires in life and what I don't want to live/be like, I still find and connect to all the emotions of being human. 

I feel less 'shocked' by things and situations and less threatened by the emotions that I have taught myself are 'bad' or don't feel good.

I embrace the easier, feel good side of things and I am learning to embrace the less easy, 'hard' feelings as well.   I am learning there is growth and 'prosperity' in all.  I am learning that, perhaps, the 'lessons' are even more 'propelling' with the less fun feelings than the wonderful feelings. 

I can choose to feel and embrace all of it as myself.  With who I am, and living and experiencing who I am, I am experiencing my life as only I can.

Each of our journeys is specifically designed for each one of us. 

May you allow your journey to unfold with as much ease, awareness and acceptance as possible.  May you allow all of yourself to participate. 

I support you on this very journey.

Journey on.

                                                      Unknown

Around the World; Do You Feel It

Our world is changing.  The people of our world are changing.  We are in change.  We are not what we were.  We are not who we will be.  We are being called to 'wake up' and feel.  We are being called to 'wake up' and know that we are breathing.

We are being called to 'wake up' and connect to the depth of our self and within and without the depth of one another.

This is no easy task.  This takes (possibly) great change [or is it just owning who we are fully] within each one of us.  This takes awareness, empathy, understanding and open mind along with an open heart.

It is in me.  It is in you.  It is you.  It is me. 

How exciting.  How scary.  How strange.  How the flow is just here to tap into.

Are you feeling it....

May you allow yourself to tap into the greatest part of you and allow what is to flow through you and allow yourself to flow out from every cell in your body to share the most real you that you know.

Yikes.  Woo hoo.  Oh no.  Oh yes.  How exciting that we are all here together at this time to create and live in this moment of unlimited possibilities.

I want to thank the following countries for 'visiting' me recently.  I want to wish you all easy connection to your ability to tap into your self and the love, light and 'knowing' that is you.  You are needed.  You matter.  You are enough.  Thank you for being you.

Russia
United States
France
Romania
Germany
Nigeria
China
United Kingdom
Turkey

May we all unite within and without.  Namaste'

Hands

My hands are talking to me loud this morning.  They are swollen and sad.  They hurt and are cold; dry and beaten. 

My body is anxious.  Is it habitual...

I feel the chair underneath me only because I choose to.  What is more apparent is wanting of movement of the stagnation in my arms.  An unwillingness to let go and just be.  Perhaps, a lack of knowledge as to how.

I know frustration and grief as I find myself here again -- with sores on my fingers.  It has been two years (I think) since I have had such pain.  I remember it well.  I do not find it welcoming. 

I hear the 'fight' inside of myself that I thought I was past this.  I 'should' be doing better than this.  I've worked so hard.

Perhaps, it is time (again) to not work at getting better.  Perhaps, it is time to acknowledge and connect to acceptance of what is.  Oh, this is not who I am and yet being who I am creates sores....   or does it...

I am lost in the human self of pain and frustration.  I know there is much more to my human experience.   I am grateful for all the joy I have known. 

Just what if feeling pain and frustration is just as 'bountiful' as the feeling of joy and delight. 

Without pain and frustration, I would not change because I would be in comfort.  Without joy and delight, how would I know what I want to achieve. 

These are all just human traits; human experiences.   I'm sure you can list a bunch more. 

Just what if, we all ebb and flow.  We all have highs and lows.  We all are 'entitled' to same; responsible for same.

This is living.  This is the human experience. 

My goal is to bring my truest of self into each of these experiences and thrive as me with every breath I take.

May you bring your truest of self into each of your experiences and thrive as you with every breath you take.

Here

We all are here now, where we are, doing what we are doing, having the human experience.  It is not always an easy experience.  In fact, it can feel very hard. 

'Hard' happens when we don't want what is to be so; when our minds tell us things 'should' be different.

When I accept what is as it is, 'easy' is what I know.

May you know easy....

Contacts.... Not

Well, the contacts for my eyes do not work... The 'contact doctor' could not get one in my eye.   I knew if she could not do it, there would be no way I could.

My skin around my eyes is too tight - (I won't need a facelift!).  And, I won't be able to wear contacts; just now anyway.

I achieved my goal.   I have learned that they do not work for me.   I purchased a new pair of glasses.  A very cool, hot pair of black, bling glasses.  Oh la la.    What fun!

It is better to know what I am dealing with than wonder what is possible (and not) for me.

May you learn what it is you need to learn to move on from where you are; to not be stuck in one place for too long.  Process forward into your truest of self and truest of life and let all of you and your life be okay.  Yay you!

Contacts

I am going this morning to try contacts.  I have worn glasses since I turned 40 and with a friend's and also my sister's encouragement, I am going to see if contacts (just maybe) will work for me.  It would be nice to not have to wear glasses all the time and I have no clue if I can or if I am able to work these contacts.

I hear myself telling myself that I am either crazy or miraculous.  Just maybe, I am both...

My goal is to get the answer.

If you've been thinking or imagining a change in your life, may you allow yourself to find out what is the best direction for you regarding same.

May you trust yourself to know and let peace in.

Health

My health has taken a hit as I have spent the last 6 intense weeks moving out of the apartment and our home and moving into one new house.  I over did.  I'm over done.

My fingers are stiff and sore.  I have two ulcers on my fingers.  I feel anxiousness inside my being.  I feel discomfort as I feel comfort as well.  I oscillate between the two just now.

I'm starting to feel more and more like I'm home and, yet, there is much settling still happening.  I am grateful to live where I live and I know it's my mind more than anything that gives me feelings of peace, joy, struggle, relief, tension and disharmony. 

I will be aware of my thoughts and if I don't like the thought within, I can change it to one that I like.  I am always under construction and I live each day aware, involved, loving and the best I know how.

Some days flow nice.  Others days, a pebble, stone or even a rock gets in the way of a harmonious flow.  This is the human experience.  We are here to have a human experience.  I will do my best to let my life flow through my truth in each situation and create, engage, acknowledge and participate in all the emotions, all the feelings, all the 'rides' and all the things that make me me.  I will not run from discomfort.  I will feel it and move through it and allow all of these human traits to enter and dwell in me for as long as they need to grow me to my complete self.  And so it is.

Ha!  Didn't know I was going 'here'.  And, 'here' is where I find myself.  I like it.  It feels right for me.  I feel spot on for now. 

I stay open to participating in life in all its glory and wonder; all its strive and pain. 

Human experience on.

May you live in your human experience.  Know the uniqueness that is you.  Thrive in it.  Love in it.  Do you in it.  Be you in it.  Live.  Just as it is now in this moment, Live on.  You are what is needed in our world.  Share you. 

May you "Grow Yourself Complete".

You are loved.  You matter.  You are enough.  You as you is supposed to be.  Be. 

Sunday morning

I awake to a Sunday morning; a lazy Sunday morning.  How lovely.  The sky is gray, there is a small breeze and I'm ready to spend the day in my PJ's.  Sounds wonderful to me.

I had curtains put up this week, fixed the wall in the 'terrarium' area of my home with orchids, easily survived a dentist visit (yay) and ran around the house with the dogs.

We have the guest room almost complete and my daughter's room is ready for her to create it her way when she comes home from her summer holiday.  She has been gone a long time; too long.  I miss her dearly.  She is my best teacher and I honor that her life is hers.  I will be so happy to hug her.  I wonder if I will let her go once I start this hug because my little girl is now a young woman and, while I want her to fly -- I miss her by my side.  What is a mother to do...

Life stops for no one and today is all we really have.  I will keep my mind where my body is and focus on what is here now.  The overall picture of each of our lives include ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows only(perhaps)  because we judge it as so.  Perhaps, we can just let our lives be what they are - live in the moment that presents itself and move onward with what is inside of our self and what presents itself to us. 

Today, I'm being presented with 'cozy'.  I so like cozy just now.  

May you allow yourself to live what you like as best you can.  Be in what brings you peace within.  May you thrive in this. 

                                                               Unknown

Iyanla

"Many of us live in our heads because feelings can be frightening.  It's easier to stay in our heads thinking, believing, and judging, since doing so seems safer than navigating through uncomfortable feelings."  From the book "Forgiveness:  21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything" by Iyanla Vanzant

My belief is that when we allow ourselves to feel what comes up for us; when we embrace what we are feeling, process it however it presents itself to us [through love] and stay open to the process and flow of life, we win.

May you let yourself 'win'. 

You are Light

"And, just like me, one day you will get a gorgeous new body made of light from the blue-white sphere.  Then, instead of carrying the light inside you, the light will carry you inside it.  That will happen when you're living where I am now, in a realm that has no shadows."  From the book "The Afterlife of Billy Fingers:  How My Bad-Boy Brother Proved to Me There's Life After Death" by Annie Kagan

May you connect to this light as often as possible by connecting to your innermost, truthful and loving self.   Perhaps, this is where we are all connected to each other and all that is.  We are one. 

Self-Understanding

"To deny our pasts is to burn the bridge we must cross to self-understanding."  "Alan Christoffersen's diary"  in the book "Walking on Water:  A Novel" by Richard Paul Evans

May you feel and process your past [through you] as to bring, create and live all that you are -- wondrous and awesome you. 

Alan Cohen

"Do you ever have days or weeks when nothing seems to come together?  The people you are looking for are out of town, the product you ordered is delayed, and you get everyone's answering machine.  Finally, you throw your hands up and declare, "I give up--I'm going to a movie!"  That may indeed be the best strategy, for the universe is giving you a message that this is not the right time to try to make anything happen.  It may be the perfect time for you to step back and nurture your spirit.  If you pay attention to the cycles of your experience, you can make them work for you, rather than letting them overwhelm you.  Periods of nothing coming together are often followed by periods of everything coming together.  After a week or month of frustrating attempts to make things happen, suddenly everything clicks; everyone calls back the same day, business deals that were on hold fall into place, and everything that was broken gets fixed.  It's as if the universe was laying back to build up momentum for a huge leap forward.  Don't be discouraged.  If you've done all you can to make something happen, and nothing seems to be coming of it, get the hint.  Let go.  Turn it over to God.  Do something else more rewarding or fun.  It's all in the timing.  Help me attune to your divine rhythm.  Let me find Your will in time.  I dance with life, stretching and resting in rhythm with the universe."  Alan Cohen in his book "A Deep Breath of Life". 

May you go with the flow that is present in your life.  May you believe it all works out when and how it is suppose to. 

Sunshine

Solar Flare - "A solar flare is a sudden flash of brightness observed over the Sun's surface or the solar limb, which is interpreted as a large energy release" Wikipedia

It is my understanding that solar flares, while scientific, can affect us in non-explainable ways.

Irritability, Edginess, Inner Ear issues, Bouts of spastic energy, and Low energy are just a few things you may feel.  When flares happen, 'change' may increase or speed up.  This may help us to forge ahead in new directions or into new pursuits.  Perhaps, if you've been wanting to do something, this irritability and edginess just may be the thing you need to allow and feel to DO IT.

Whatever you are feeling,

may you believe it is real, may you listen and feel it, may you allow it, may you process through it and above all, be and live the truth of you during it...

This just may be the exact thing you need to feel to transform, evolve, and/or allow the life that is inside of you to thrive up and into your/our outer world.

I support you to do just this.

Thrive through and on.

Where I'm At

I awake with hope in my heart and love in my being.  I awake with a confused mind and ringing in the ears.  I have not been awake long and I look forward to the day.  It is a beautiful blue sky and quiet air.  The palm fronds are dancing with life.

I'm accepting what is and I'm living on.

May you 'dance' with life.

Fine Tuning

I am sitting here at my desk while the piano tuner tunes the piano.  Wow.  I can feel each key vibrate through me.  The lower notes are much easier to feel than the high notes.  The high notes hit me like a force in my chest and back and reverberates my inside(s). 

I can sit here and let it 'haunt' me or I can sit here and let it reverberate my inside(s).  I just took the dogs for a walk to get a break.  It is my choice how I continue to process it.

The piano was not delivered intact.  The foot pedal is messed up and there was an already noticed dent in it.  Did I tell you that they delivered it without the legs and had to bring the legs the next day...  It is better with legs...

A storm is approaching.  The sky is dark.  The air is windy.  The trees and dirt from the grass just being cut are blowing haphazardly.  Maybe they hear the piano tuning also!  lol

I have called an 'intuitive healer' as recommended by my dentist.  This may prove to be interesting.  I know that I know what needs to be done.  I need to just live, just exercise, just share my vulnerability and 'just do it'.  And, yet, part of me wants to see what the 'healer' has to offer and the other part of me is tired of paying others to not have my answers to a good, strong health within myself.  I have been searching a long time. 

See what happens.  It is fun if nothing else to see what is out there, offered, played with, examined, prescribed and shared.  I find it fascinating really.  So many paths, so many beliefs, so many thoughts and what works for one does not work for another.  If we believe it will, it mostly will.  If we believe it won't, it mostly won't.

I have always believed I would be healed.  Well...  I still believe.

I am open to full health and prosperity, ease and fun.

May you be open to what vibrates your 'happy' and 'fulfillment' the best.  Give yourself permission to receive it and live it.

Fingers

My fingers 'have' me just now.  To take a shower and to just put a summer dress on takes much effort.  I have two fingers that have ulcers and do not want to do much without sharing pain.  I will honor them, slow down and do little.

I know frustration and irritability.   I know I'm going to do me differently and I'm going to believe that this is what is my life and I am enough and my life is full.  Because, in true, I and it really are.

I need nothing more.

I live in what is and I move through what will be.

I breath heavy in pain.  I breathe.

May you breathe in the life that is yours to live and know that you are enough and your life is full as it is today.  May you celebrate you and it.

Doctor Doctor

I went to the doctors yesterday to see if, perhaps, I could get off one of the drugs that I have been on for a long time.  I was told not to stop it and, in fact, to add another.

This was not how I saw the doctor's visit 'playing' out. 

What to do...   what to do....

May you know what to do as you hear, feel and know from within what is the way for you.

 

Internal/External

I am learning, again, that it is not about what is outside of us that can make us whole or complete; happy or content.

It is what is going on inside of our mind, our heart, our being that drives who and what and how we experience things and each other.

Right now, today, may you know peace within.  May you accept where you are; how you are; with who you find yourself and doing what you are doing.  May you embrace it as your truth; see (and feel) it for what it is and live your whole true self through it.

When you are at peace with the human creation that is YOU, you will know peace in many more situations because what you are bringing to each situation is your peaceful self.

Go on with your peaceful self...  and then you can teach me (and others) how to do/be it!!!

The time is now.  Choose YOU.  Please. 

 

Positivity and Growth

OK.  YAY.  I get it.  With all these thoughts; all these shares; all these feelings -- I can allow what is to be completely positive if I choose.  What if everything that I feel, encounter, think and do is positive.   Even when it feels negative, it is a positive thing for me to live as me.  Just what if....

I was just watching a virtual conference called "Healing the World Through Business" by en*theos with Zhena Muzyka and Dr. Jo Anne Bishop and I heard it said that to be still, to sit, to meditate is the most open way to allow the universe to show us our way.  I also heard to be one's true self at the house, in the work place, at church -- wherever we are - bring our whole true spiritual and human self.  It was said more professional and eloquently than this and yet the message is the same -- JUST BE U everywhere.

I wanted to jump up and down with great excitement.   Will I now give myself full permission to share these blogs with my professional blog and create the wholeness of life as I allow the wholeness of myself to be present wherever I am...  I was feeling resistant and hesitating with what to keep here in this blog and what to share in my professional blog.  How open and true do I dare to be on a professional website.

Oh... Scary....    Oh... Excitement.   Oh... This really rocks my world in a positive and freeing way.!

I watch to see what I do with this information.  I watch to see myself grow into the exact place(s) that I do going forward --  by being me for myself and my/our world.

May you allow the depth and fullness of yourself present you and also be a present to the world.  Yay!  And, as I'm typing this something is happening to my eyesight as this truly is a new way for me to look at the world. 

Full throttle permission to let myself pop wide open and let my intuitive development along with my knowledge, truth and wholeness live in this world always as one.  One with myself and one with all that is and one with all of you.  Woo freakin hoo.   lol and true dat

I have to purchase this picture --  This is "Grow Yourself Complete" for sure!

 

 

Rock and a Hard Place

I saw this on Facebook and I feel the need to share with all of you just in case it can help you in any positive light at all as I enjoyed it greatly.

"On a Rock and Between Two Hard Places"

"You can't go back, that path is closed and the person that brought you there is gone.  That person was you.  Along the way you were transformed and expanded into each challenge you face; you're now stronger, wiser and more adaptable.  In fact, you are more 'you' than you've ever been before.  You are 'more'.

You stand on the edge, between worlds.  Ahead of you lies what you've always wanted, your purpose.  This is what all those hard lessons and soul searching was for - to be able to live up to your fullest potential.  It takes your breath away doesn't it?

Yet you hesitate.  Why?  An encyclopedia of excuses comes to mind.  Under that weighty time...fear.   You fear that now you are here where you've dreamt of being, you might fail.  It's possible you fear success, don't feel worthy or up to the task.  Of course, there is no such thing as failure but you can't see that from your perspective. 

You feel lost.  It's uncomfortable on that rock.  All you can see are two hard places and yourself, caught in the middle.  Every person in the midst of big change has the potential to feel like this, every leader about to step up to the podium.  This is where the important stuff happens though, out on that rock.

So, know this.  The rock is the pause to consider what you need for the journey ahead.  It lets you leave behind what's no longer relevant and gather what's really needed.  It gives you time to prepare and to build momentum (and discomfort is a turbo boost for momentum).  It allows you to take stock and appreciate how far you've come.  You've come so far.

Now take one step because that's all that's needed.   As soon as you do that, you've left the rock behind."

I believe this is brilliance by Stephanie Skye Marian > Leadership Awareness, Facebook.  Brava!

May you acknowledge where you are and let the 'important stuff' happen.

Stephanie Skye Marian

Resisting yet

I still hesitate to type.  My mind is blank and yet it is full.  The sun shines on the palms and the blue sky backs it up.  Just beautiful; magical even.  How lucky we are to connect and have a connection to nature. 

I breathe.   I sit and I breathe. 

There is no banter, there is no knowledge, there is just breath.  It feels endearing.

I have papers that are waiting for my attention to my left and a lot of flashing lights to my right -- yet, I am choosing to sit and breathe.

May you choose to do exactly what is in you to do just now.  May it come from love of self and life.  May you connect to the natural you and honor what is as you choose and give yourself permission to live YOU.

                                                             Unknown

Resist

I feel a great resistance to come here and type.  I'm not sure I want to know what is going on with me.  I am fearful and excited. 

How can it be so....

My inner self and my bicep/tricep portions of my arms are feeling like they want to move forward and I feel an uncontrollable pull back or push back as I do reach out.

It feels as though everything that is inside of me to do is ready to fly out and take charge.  My body is resisting and fighting just this as my mind creates fear of moving into unknown territory.  How exciting this can be.

Yes, I am creating/sending/living two very different messages and I'm at another standstill because of this.

It is time to start exercising more vigorously and regularly and, also, to just get in the car and see where it takes me.  My soul wants this.  My human self is saying 'heck no'. 

The tension in the top of my arms is palpable and the excitement in my being is growing. 

I don't know who/what will win out.  I certainly hope the fun, joyful side of myself wins.  The inner knowing side that wants to carry who/what I am to my fullest capacity of this lifetime.

Even now as I type, I feel my arms pulling back and something pushing outward.  Yes, it feels crazy.

I'm sitting in my new home office at my desk with vibrant colors, streaming water, a beautiful window and soft orange artificial rose petals in an oversized brandy snifter.  This is exciting.  This is comfort.  There is no clue for a regimented business plan or perusal. 

I still have 'stuff' lying around yet and I just got color on my toes for the first time in a while and I'm ready to go down in the tackle to a win.  (what?!)

It is rainy and stormy; dark and 'interesting' outside. 

This push/pull I have going on does not bring me comfort.   It does bring me to a place I've never felt before.  I will openly process this through believing my path is about to get laid out in front of me and I'm going to skip happily and with a great power forward. 

I'm coming out.   I'm ready to 'play'.  I'm ready to get unstuck again and be the best professional human soul I can be. 

The only way to get there is to do it.  Walk on. 

I'm in a very weird and interesting place.  It is unknown to me.  It is not what or where or who I was and it is definitely who I'm supposed to be creating. 

I trust the process and I enter the land of 'oz' and unknowingly and knowingly, I move forward in whatever capacity presents itself.  I'm opened to be led and to lead right into the ocean of my new world.

This is a magical time.  This is way out of center field.  This is the time to let it be and embrace who I am so I can help and encourage others to do the same.

Are you ready?

May you embrace what is inside of you to do and may you act in whatever way (no matter how minute) to shine on, through, in and forward into you bestest and most creative and fulfilling path yet.

The universe says it is time.   All you have to do is believe.  I believe in you.  May you believe.

Defeat

I feel defeat just now.  As I start my day, I am uncertain of how I want to be in it.  I am unsure of how to get to where I want to be.  I feel unproductive and ..  I have no words; really...

I don't like being so down on my self, my life, my lack of umph or get up and go.  I have developed ulcers.  I cannot (just now) use my hands like I was able to.  When I reach in the fridge or pull out the dishes or knock my fingers against something unexpectedly, I hurt.  It is the feeling of going to the moon and back and not in too pleasant of a way. 

I still sit in some disarray although the immensity of what has been accomplished in my new home is huge.  And, when my mind is so low on myself, it is hard to see through the veil of blah.  All I am allowing myself to see is what I believe I cannot accomplish.  Today, it is not in me to even want to... and this feeling right here is where I connect to feeling defeated.  It is not empowering and yet there is power in it. 

I'm the person who wants to help others connect to their best self.  How can I do this when I do not feel close to my own best self...

I would say breathe through, love your self, know you are worthy and that you have great worth and perhaps, your body, mind and spirit just needs a down day or time out.  Perhaps, this can be a great thing.  Perhaps, you don't have to dislike it so much and want to fight it with everything in you.  Just as you are right here, right now today, you and your life matters.  Love through and if you wait for just a bit loving your self and breathing love in and out... just maybe, you will connect to the you that you want to be connected to...  Just, what if this small moment of the big picture that is your life is here for a real and a great reason and if you embrace it...  WOWZA.

Embrace all of you.

May you connect to the you that you want to be connected to as you stay connected to the part of you that, perhaps, doesn't feel so good.  Don't forget that we are all having a human experience and this experience encompasses so much more than we may ever know.

Trust the process.  Trust your feelings.  Trust that you are right where you need to be to engage and create in this world that is ever changing; growing and becoming.  You are right where you are for a reason.  See the love and light in the moment and be gentle and loving.  Fight when you feel it, allow it when you don't and always come from truth, love and connection to what is truly going on within you that creates the outside of your self.  Be your own best friend.  Honor on. 

Thoughts

My thoughts are weary just now.  I want to be open to ease and my thoughts are creating dis-ease.  What is in front of me to do, I do not wish to do.  I am resisting.  This resistance is creating dis-ease.

I know what is good for me.  To sit here, in my pajamas, and to be and allow the moment to breathe.  Let the thoughts in my head of 'I need to' or 'I should' float away like balloons just now and notice the beautiful picture in front of me; see the beautiful sky above me out of the window; to feel the comfort of my chair and allow the temperature of the room to comfort me.  What is happy for me is to know gratitude for having all these beautiful joys in my life. 

To have the ability to connect and reach out.  To have the allowance to hibernate in and just be.  These are choices that we can make at any time.  Only we alone can create the moment of how we want to BE in it.

May you BE in this moment how best it feels happy on you.  For just this moment, breathe and know your worth.  You matter.  You are enough.  You being happy is what makes your world happy and it gives others permission and/or encouragement to allow their own happy to ignite from within and grow on. 

                                                      Unknown

Tick Tock

I had root canal yesterday and survived yet again!  I have sores on two fingers that are talking to me.  I'm not bewildered how this happened.  I am bewildered how I, knowingly, let this happen.

I overdid me.  I pushed harder than I was able and this is my body responding to same.  Through this (too hard) pushing, I also am changing doctors and having a heck of a time dealing with getting the same treatment as my body was used to with drugs for my symptoms of scleroderma that was my treatment for a long, long time. 

Perhaps, this is the time that could be meaningful to me and it feels scary, strange and definitely out of sorts.  I don't have energy or strength that I want to put into this and I have no choice as my body and mind are 'dependent' on these drugs.  I am a slave to them and to a doctor's care just now.  Not a proud or joyful place to be.  And, here I am.

The house is more and more feeling like my home and I'm feeling stuck as to move more forward just now. 

As I awake this morning, with my mouth and my finger deciding on which will need more attention [as I'm learning more and more to attend to the whole of myself], it is a rainy, dark and lovely morning and I move slow and without a purpose or plan just now.

I just am.   I am me.   I am feeling and dealing and corrupt with knowledge of what is.  I say corrupt because it feels as if I left my whole self a long time ago and played way into the human part of myself.  I let life lead me away from my own self.  I led my own self away from what I knew internally. 

Will I be able to get this back...  I believe so.   I have had days where I felt whole.  Moments where I felt ALL.  Relationships where I feel fulfilled and relationships where I feel I have failed by not bringing all of me to them.  I feel whole now although I am not fully accepting of my whole self.   I want to fully accept what is me.   

I hear myself thinking that this being human is no easy feat.  And, yet, this feat is what we are here to experience.  So, I will go on experiencing and I will never give up on living whole wherever I am and wherever I go and with whoever I am with and live me with no excuse and fully embraced.

May you go on with your whole self as often and bravely as possible.  YOU rock and it is the real YOU that life needs to be all we can be, together.  I believe.

                                                             Unknown

Dizzy

Perhaps, if and when you are dizzy or confused - you are not the only person in your head....

May you let you be the only person in your head or, at least, the loudest one!  May you come from love and believe yourself first.