Life

Life.  We are living it just now.

Right now, whatever you are doing; wherever you are, you are living your life.  This is it...

Are you living fulfilled...  Are you being true to yourself and others...  Are you allowing what presents itself to you emote through you...

Are you living from your heart..  your mind..

This is, perhaps, the best way to live.

In truth, trust, compassion and openness.

May you let these things within you breathe.

May you let the life within you breathe.

This is you, living your life now...

May you carry this life of yours in the most fulfilling and individual moments that you can touch.

Resistance

I have been walking by my computer as to not want to face myself.  Not having the words to share; not liking the words that I would possibly share...

So, I come here brave and courageous as possible to see what is up...

I have been having a very hard time to the point where I don't trust myself to drive.  I don't feel like me and I don't like the way I am feeling.

It is not easy for me to discern if I am healing or if I am getting more sick.  I don't know the direction in which I am going.

I think it came down to the respirodone drug that I have been trying for multiple months to see if I could trick my body into good health.  The kind of good health when I was pregnant.

I think it is having adverse reactions within me and I have been told to go down to 1/2 instead of one.  Man, these drugs - this drug thing; whether medical or self inflicted is a serious thing. 

So, as I awake this morning, I still have the sweats, still feel confused and dizzy and my body does not feel calm.  But, perhaps, it is a wee bit better than what it was.

Is it the drug(s)...  Is it the scleroderma...  Is it something else...   It is very hard to know for me and even for the doctors...

It has been hard to reach out.   It has been hard to be open.   It has been hard to want to do anything.  It has been hard to not feel guilty or loser-ish.  It has been hard.

I accept what I can and I am not in complete acceptance.  I hear myself saying 'it is what it is' but I also feel myself not wanting it to be so...

So, I suffer.   I struggle.   I do not know calm.  

I have pushed to go to pilates.  I truly don't know how I made it.   And, when one goes to exercise and they say lay down -- well, I can do that!  Ha.

And, my body loves it.

So, as I still gently push myself to go forward and to go forward in as least fear as I can, I am still me.  I can still love.  I can choose love.

Love is what I choose.

May you choose love.

Noggin

Well, my noggin has been 'alive' and loud this past week. 

There is a dizziness, a weakness, an energy rush that is going on and through my brain.  It is not comfortable and I find it even a little scary. 

The ringing in my ears has taken on a life of its own and the tightness in my brain, head and skull is constant and forceful.

I keep hearing myself saying 'you are healing' and I'm sticking with this (most of the time). 

My heart skips a few beats and my blood flow to my extremities seems to be sluggish and static at times.

This is a new and 'wholly' sensation to me.  I am open to being on the other side of this with these feelings and symptoms behind me.

It feels like there is this huge concrete wall and in order for me to move forward, this wall must come down.

It is my hope and determination that I will see this wall destroyed.  And there I will be...

There are less places to hide; harder to numb the pain and hardship away.  We must bring our whole true self with us wherever we go and honor ourselves (and each other).

This is the time that it matters most.  This is the time when the change we have waited for and wanted is within reach.

Just what if...


May you let any walls around you come down and be vulnerable to this thing called 'your life'.  Be vulnerable in living.  Be loving in all that you do.  Be truthful in all that you are. 

It is time to move on, forward, out and be the most alive we have ever been from the depth of our own true selves.

There is much beauty, greatness and love here.

May you have, know and be beautiful, great and loving.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Love Day!  May you know extra special love today - yours!

I'm feeling/questioning this day.  While it is wonderful to share love and give gifts and celebrate relationships, there are many that do not have a significant other and we do not have a day for them to celebrate love...

Do they feel left out...

Is it themselves that are creating this feeling or is it the mainstream media or both...

What if we look in the mirror and give all of our love to our own self in this moment.  Feel it, know it, be it, give it to ourselves.  Love.

Love.  What does it mean to you...  What does it mean to your loved ones...

To me, love means supporting another to be the best version of their self. 

May we uplift each other.   May by uplifting each other, we uplift ourselves.

Just maybe, this is one of the best ways for love to travel.

Let your love travel.

May love travel within and without.

Happy Valentine's Day your way...

                                         

Be the Best You

TBT

Big hair and hi top Reeboks may come and go but sunrises and new chances are always present. Smart movement and eating are always healthy. 

May you allow and present them to yourself as often as possible.

I believe in you being your best self. !  May you believe in you. 

Bring all of YOU with YOU

May you find what works for you from situation to situation and live just this. 

May you embrace all of you [and all of your experiences] and live forward from this embrace and this knowing.

May you just be you - "Just 9Be U".  "Be You to Completion." 

It takes a lot less energy to just be you then to pretend to be someone you are not. 

Love Yourself.  Be Yourself.  From the Depth of Yourself 

United

May we all grow more and more united. 

I'd like to thank YOU for visiting me here. 

May you be your own person and support others to do the same.  May we be kind to one another; as close to always as possible.

The following countries have blessed me with your presence on my "9BeU" blog.

United States                   France                   Russia                   Germany

Georgia                           Portugal                 Poland                   Sweden

Greece                             Argentina               Angola                 Belgium

Turkey                             Brazil                     Canada                 Ireland

Bermuda                          Philippines             Romania              Australia

Netherlands                      Spain                      India                    United Kingdom


Thank YOU.

I Sit

I sit  here after 'googling' items in search for certain things that I am interested in.  How easy and fun looking for necessary (and unnecessary) items these days.  The convenience is amazing.  The search is a few words and the outcome is up to us whether we purchase it or not.  If we choose to purchase items(s), we sit and wait or go about our business and wait and they appear at our own front door or in our mailbox.   The only way it can be any more convenient and fun is if someone else would purchase the item(s) for us.  

Yet, there is such a productive and prideful feeling in working hard to achieve and purchase our own 'stuff'.  It is freeing and it can be a powerful feeling.   Self-fondness and pride grow pretty quickly.  I hope everyone gets to experience this freeing feeling.

One of the best 'gifts' we can give our children is to teach them how to live a life like this that creates and builds self-worth and self-confidence.  Oh yes.  !

I went to a doctor today.  I still don't feel like my back is supported through the medical world of Florida completely.  The medical system does not have my back like I felt it did in my old state.  I have one doctor who stands out with a helpful ear and helpful advice.  I have some that seem to just be present in my life because I've been told I have a dis-ease and my body and mind took on the belief of same.  I am saying to myself that it is time to heal; time to not hold on to the belief of a disease in my body and/or mind.  Let peace enter every cell of my being. 

I know our bodies know how to heal itself if, when and how we get out of its way and support it, as best we can, to do so.

I find myself still in my own way at times.  And, I have learned to step aside and let it be and allow healing.  I am in the throes of both just now.  But, healing is present and I'm excited about this.

It is my mindset and my experiences that create my life.  Oh, this being human is not the easiest of challenges for me.!.

May you give your mind positive thoughts and love and trust yourself and your experiences to lead you home to your best self.

No, we cannot purchase this.  We must allow it, grow it, and believe in it.

It can be so.  What is in your being that feels positive and fulfilling can be so.  May you open yourself up to it.  May it be so. 

Time to be... YOU

Right now, right in this moment, as you take this breath - you are living your life.  This is it.  This is you living you.

This is me living me. 

Life is happening.   We are in it deep.   We are living.

Deep breath.

I hope there are many things that are happening and that you are involved in that bring you happiness, joy, self and love.

I think, if you are human (and you are), that there are some things that you (I) would change if we could.

We can't change everything. We cannot change much.  We can [always] change the way we look at it, see it, and choose to experience it.

If there is something in your life that is really bothering you -  is it 100% for certain; for true...

Can you choose to give it the benefit of the doubt and look and see it differently. 

We are the ones that suffer when we don't like or want certain things in life.  We are the ones that suffer when we see things in ways that make us suffer.

May you change things up inside of you to allow the outside of you to live easier; more lovely.

May you look at things differently - like someone is doing the best they can.   Like you are doing the best you can.  That you (we) are okay even though something is happening in the way we wish it wouldn't.

Change YOU up.  Make it easier for YOU.  Love Yourself through.  Let love lead YOU.

Not for any other reason but because it is how YOU want to live your life; spend your time. 

YOU choose love.  YOU choose peace.   You choose YOU.

May you connect to and allow love, peace and YOU.

Time to Trust

It is time (if you already do not do so) to trust your instinct.  Trust your feelings.  Trust what you believe in. Trust what is true for you.  Trust that what you are doing is the right thing for you in the now.

When we allow love and not worry to lead us, we find ourselves in the flow of life and things fall into place and feel right and align our inner beings with our outer doings.

This is a fun place of be.  This is a fun place to find oneself.  This is a fun and exciting place to move forward from.  This is a great way to be a truest of self in our truest of paths.

May you bring your true self to each situation and be open and allow vulnerability and passion to guide you home to you; to your life; through your life.

Flow.   This is my wish for you. 

We were born flowing.  Let's connect back to this flow as adults and let fun, play, love, vulnerability carry us forward.

In this flow, we are our true selves.  In our true selves, we are in the best place we are meant to be.

Let's get out of our own way.  Let us not question what we are feeling.  Let us not ask ourselves, again and again, if we are allowed to feel what we are feeling or if we are wrong or crazy for feeling what we are feeling.

May you flow on through your true self.

May you let love, not worry, lead you into your best life possible.

Open your heart and let yourself out.