Wondering

I was wondering today how do I treat myself compared to how I treat others.  I realized that if I treated myself at least as nice as I treated others on a regular basis, I'd feel pretty loved!

So, I ask....

How do you treat yourself compared to how you treat others?

Is it best if it's comparable.... 

How would you feel today if you treated yourself like you did others today....

Just wondering!

                                                      Giraffes  at Great Adventure, New Jersey, United States

Feel the Change

I feel much change going on around me.  It is exciting and invited.  We are talking about real estate in Florida; southeast United States where it is warm year round  -- not to mention the palm trees, the beach, the blue skies and the sun!  My heart beats faster just thinking about it!

My head spins thinking about it too.  When I was younger, I would just go with the flow and do what feels best.  Now, being close to 100 (not!), I hesitate almost every step of the way.  If it's just me, I go and there's not much concern.  And, with a family, I seem to be overly concerned about everyone involved.  It is not a 'hoot'.  It gets me stuck.  It is fear that presents itself.

I know what is best for me and what I want.  Do I know what is best for my family and what they want....  Probably not!  Yet, if I am happy and open to letting them be themselves - this is the best way for me.  Doing this and allowing this is what I am learning. 

Learning a new way to be, think, do and react is quite mind spinning.  Yet, without it, I stay stuck.  I NO LONGER WILL ALLOW MYSELF TO STAY STUCK.  I cannot.  I will not.  I choose not to.

Are you stuck in something you'd rather not be stuck in and/or are you allowing your life and your dreams to flow in and around you?

I vote to LET IT FLOW.  LET YOU FLOW.  LET LIFE FLOW.

Thinking too Much

I'm thinking that I have nothing clever, interesting or helpful to share.  I'm thinking that I'm saying many things over and over again and it's getting quite old.  I'm thinking that 'noone' wants to hear what I have to say and/or that what I have to say is boring.

I've lost the flow of just typing what is.  Just going with the flow and not thinking about what I type.  I'm uncertain as to how helpful or exciting I can be; how excited about your life I can help you feel.

I suppose I'll just process these thoughts and see where I end up.  I'll sit with these thoughts and decide where to go from here.

Perhaps, this is a perfect time for me to just be.  Perhaps, just experiencing where I am (BE HERE NOW) is the best way to manage these current moments.

It's nice having my husband home and on the mend.  It's nice watching my daughter live and do brilliant things.  It's nice enjoying my animals and my home.  It's nice emailing, texting and a wee bit of talking on the phone and being with friends and family.

It's nice to just let life unfold around me and within me.

May you enjoy your life as it unfolds around you and within you.  Just be. 

"YOU" is what is the common denominator of everything you are, do and be.  Which 'you' are you living through today?   You know you got it if the you you are experiencing feels good!  (what?)  lol

I'm Back

This past week has been quite a week of unknowns, great challenges and high achievements.  We all know these kinds of days, weeks and months.  It feels like a roller coaster of emotions, doubts, high hopes and fear.

When a loved one is sick, all those closest to them are 'sick' in their own way as well.  Life stops.  Life looks differently.  I question much.  I go through the motions and I see, feel, think and know what is most important.

I spent long days at the hospital (why is most hospital food unhealthy and out of vending machines!).    I learned much and experienced more.

For now, today, my wonderful husband is fine.  He is moving in the direction of good health.  I am grateful.

Perhaps life gets out of sync to let us see things differently.  Perhaps, sometimes, just to let us SEE THINGS!

May you truly be seeing what is in front of you and may you know gratitude and love for what you see.

I know there are blessings in my life.  I believe there are blessings in yours.

  May you allow the good in your life to carry you onward always.

T I R E D

There are many ways to find myself tired.  AND, all together, the bottom line for me is NOT LISTENING TO MY OWN NEEDS. 

I'm very good at ignoring my inner voice especially when another is in need.  I feel happy doing so.  Somehow, someway, however, I believe I'd be more productive if I could come over to my own side and take care of some of my own needs too.

Perhaps, these lessons are here for me to finally learn.  I can give more when I am strongest and I keep a reserve of good energy for myself.

I know this in every cell of my being.  Why, then, do I not listen....  Mmmmm

May you hear and listen to your inner voice whispering what is best for you in many moments throughout your day. May you respond favorably.

This might be worth me trying!  Ha.

Hey

I've haven't been in touch, but I've been thinking about you.  How does a woman talk about what someone has asked her not to. How do I make it about me, when it's not always.

My wonderful husband has hit a hard patch with a health battle and I've been very involved with loving him. How lucky I am that I can do this and how scary it is when a loved one is fighting for better health.

The doctors are amazing and yet, one doctors works on this problem, another on another issue and on and on and on. We need one willing and able doctor that all these doctors can coordinate with to make healthcare more stable. It's quite confusing and is the bottom line that we are all in the Creator's hands.

My days are long, my nights are lonely and my awareness of what is most important to me is 'loud'; shouting at me, in fact.

I, more and more, believe that there are many answers inside of ourselves if we can just tap into and believe in ourselves. Yes, it's great to get feedback, knowledge and professional advisement when uncertain to our own health needs. I also believe it's important to be aware and a participant in one's own healthcare as well.

It feels like I'm on a not so fun roller coaster ride at times and I'm also learning that sometimes it's easier to be the sick one and other times it's easier to be the healthy one in the relationship. BALANCE.

Balance always seems to be important in living, deciding, growing, playing, working and great health.

May you check within yourself if you feel balanced and know what you can do to get your balance on.

May we all live with the ability and desire to live fully and awareness and knowledge that living here on this earth is limited.

Live on!

Depressing Much?

I went searching for a general practitioner today.  The one I had an appointment with thought my fingers were amputated at the tips.  Depressing.

I guess I can be grateful that they were not.  They only look this way.  It was a slow, painful process that led to the loss of my fingertips.  Scars of my own war within, perhaps. 

Yikes.

This seeing, feeling, participating in and trying to accept what is is quite the concept.  I cannot change what I do not acknowledge.  So, I am acknowledging away!

May you acknowledge all the truth that surrounds you and, perhaps, even 'play' with it to create your truth of tomorrow.

Have Notta

I have nothing to share.  My mind is surrounding myself with truths of what is.  Some I like; Some I do not like.  I am very aware of both.

I see, hear, feel, do, think, speak differently.  I am the true me presenting myself to the world.  I am not enjoying myself completely.  I am not 'up' much of the time.  I am not 'down' much of the time.  I just am.

It's somewhat boring to me AND somewhat settling.

May you accept where you are and move forward through the truth of you.

BE YOU TI FUL

                                      Consciousvision.wordan.com

Accepting

I'm accepting what is as best as possible.  I still feel very unsettled as I'm settling into the way that works best for me with the world as it is; as I'm as I am and with what I know and my ability to do so.

I can't believe I just got through the above sentence easily (in reality)!  Ha.

May you accept where you and your life are as best as possible while you create the WAY that works best for you with who you are; what you know and with the world as it is.

                                                              Freedom Tower, NYC, NY

Company

I'm in the company of a very dear friend and part of her family....  It's a new day for us.  We both have been changing and finding our deep inner selves.

It's quite wondrous and a new way to see each other and the world.

It's really a powerful and beautiful thing.

May you connect to that someone who makes you connect to your own wonder!

Rock and Wreck

I'm in the middle of rocking and wrecking my thoughts and my habits.  Chaos reigns.  The past 'me' is gone.  The present me is uncertain and, I hope, the future me is going to be healthier and stronger.

It's amazing how dizzying change can be.  I have no strong, embedded concept of what is; what time or what is about to be.  I was always good at guessing the time of day - not presently.  My head isn't 'still' long enough to focus.

I would say I was going stark mad if it wasn't for this other side of me guiding, protecting and encouraging myself to walk through it.

Yikes!

So, instead of my comfortable 'rockin and rollin', I see myself 'rockin and wreckin'.  It's quite powerful, and it's also quite non-graspable (is this a word?).  

May you grasp what is easily within your reach; while you plan to grasp what truly gives you joy.

Bundle

I'm currently a bundle of tension, nerves and rewiring that I feel like I do not have much control of at this point in my game.

I'm settling in to who I am becoming and visiting facts more and more.

I am getting stronger as I accept where I'm at. 

The world flows around me and the energy of the world within me.

I am stumped at the words that come from my fingers and do not take much time to wonder about them. 

We are each where we need to be.  I am where I am supposed to be.  This much I feel is true.

Chaos currently reigns, however; this time it's a welcome chaos.  I believe this chaos is the storm I must go through to get to the beach, so to speak. 

My human form is made up of so many emotions, energy grids and complex wiring - I can't help but to be amazed.

I think 'nutty' as I continue forward and it feels so true and real.  I don't understand most of it.  I do understand that to accept and proceed forward is the best way for me, currently.

May you take where you are, with or without understanding, and trust and use it to create the world you want to thrive in.

Oh Lordie, help me know and now.  Ha. 

Time

The Time Has Come.

I'm starting to feel more the 'happy me' without trying.  Ready to get out there and share myself with the world.  Be in the world and around people. 

I'm unsettled one minute; ready to roll the next.

It's overwhelming the thoughts and process of what I've achieved, received and entertained over these past two plus years.   That's a long time to stay somewhat isolated and in deep thought.

It felt right.  There didn't seem to be a choice for me.  I'm grateful for this; I think!

Our brain is so dense and immense.  Our beings can be so full and so enlightened.  Our bodies can be separate or connected to the depth of within.  Our hearts can certainly be connected through the universal wisdom of what is.  Perhaps, this is the soul of who we are, the center of where we come from.

What are you choosing for yourself today?  Does it just feel right or would it be better if you chose to tweak something?

We can choose almost whatever we can conjure up. 

Happy Conjuring!

Lazy - to be or not to be.....

If I'm being productive while I hear myself call myself lazy - is it a bad thing.   This is the question I come up with after reading the below post. 

I looked up the word lazy in the dictionary and then I took it furthered and googled 'how do I know if I'm being lazy'.  I did this because I heard myself wondering if I was being lazy or was I merely needing to spend my time doing what I've been doing a lot of.  Resting, contemplating and reinventing my mind.  Mmmmmm
---------

Below is taken from from "Psychology 02:  LAZINESS, rpauryte.blogspot.com/2007/.../laziness."  Nice writing!  

Monday, March 19, 2007

LAZINESS

According to wikipedia, 'LAZINESS is the lack of desire to act or work in general or to do an act or work that is expected of a person. in extreme cases, a generalized tendency to do nothing may verge on apathy and be a symptom of depression. What is considered laziness varies according to personal or societal context and magnitude. Laziness can be considered an exaggeration of the natural instinct to get healthy rest and conserve precious energy.'

Laziness is universal. it can be something that lasts only a short time before inspiration and motivation take you along your way, or it could become a way of life.


What Are The Manifestations of Laziness?

There are two main manifestations of laziness, apathy and procrastination. Apathy is not wanting to do anything. It is having no motivation. It's not being bothered. Apathy is not wanting to go out of bed and do something different. It's not wanting to go anywhere; it's wanting to let the world revolve around you without it bothering you overmuch. Procrastination is closely related to apathy. Who procrastinates usually looks or feels more tense. there is a cloud hanging over him of a Job That Must Be Done. suppose that lazy people may be getting the most out of life, but it's hard for me to imagine how. I can't imagine not having any drive or ambition to accomplish anything, and having the desire to engage only in passive activities, always being a spectator, never acting. Laziness, in many cases, leads to poor health, low self-esteem, lack of hope, and low self-confidence, among other things that I just don't see. It also robs a person of a sense of accomplishment, a sense of self-worth, and self-development. How are you going to learn anything or pick up a new skill or develop a talent if you're too lazy to get up and do something?


Many people are very harsh with lazy people, and I have to admit that my initial thoughts about laziness are usually rather judgmental. I know, though, that many people who seem to be lazy are just picking a passive way of dealing with fears or insecurities or frustrations--people with learning disabilities, for example, often seem lazy because of the high levels of frustration they encounter when trying to accomplish "simple" tasks. A person who's afraid of other people or of social situations may choose a passive approach to everything so that they won't have to take any risks. A slow learner may prefer appearing lazy to appearing stupid--if I don't do the work at all, no one will criticize my performance.


I don't know the answers to those questions, but I do know that if laziness is the determiner of your behavior, then you're missing out on much of what this beautiful world has to offer. Please take your place in the world and be a positive influence to others. Help to teach others of the beauty of living life and of being active in life, not the boredom and tedium of being lazy.
As a footnote, one of the greatest tragedies for me to witness is the effect of lazy parents on their children. I've seen many children growing up slovenly and lazy because they've learned the patterns from their parents. We need to be stronger role models to these kids than to some others--we need to let them see how much the world offers, and help them realize that they'll miss it all if they continue to emulate their parents. It's difficult, but for their sake, it's necessary.


Types of Laziness

'Human laziness has both spiritual and biological causes. The spiritual cause is the distant memory of when we all were one in the blissful, unmanifested mass consciousness of the universe. This was before we all were dumped into the worlds of karma - which forced us to take action - and reincarnation - which forces us to come back until we can act with total responsibility from the place of unconditional love. The biological cause is the tendency to seize upon opportunities for rest whenever they present themselves' - is written in http://www.healpastlives.com/future/cure/crattach.htm

There are six main types of laziness: physical, emotional, creative, phylosophical, intelectual and pathalogical.

Physical and mental laziness can be caused by lack of ambitions. Cars and anything that keeps people from being active contribute to physical laziness. Mental laziness due to technology can also be a problem. Being fed entertainment and information by the television contributes to mental and physical laziness. Computers and number crunching devices contributes to mathematical laziness. The Internet can contribute to mental laziness if you take at face value the first things you see, without truly doing research into a subject. These tools can be utilized to help one become stronger too, but only if used wisely, actively and avoiding a passive interaction utilizing them. to fight with this you can Find yourself a physical activity ,something you can do outside. Get a second job if you have one.There is always volunteer work you could do.Try to stay away from sitting down watching television or playing video games. For physical laziness, put on some cool music when no one's around and dance wildly to get you started and in the mood to move around more. For mental laziness, find whatever interests you and try to do something creative with it. You can start a blog for something simple, trying to develop new ideas which people haven't mentioned before on your subject.

Creative laziness is applying the mind to make the task easier to accomplish and ultimately results in less effort expended. In general this is a good thing. "

------

 

So, I wonder again.  Lazy - to be or not to be... 

 

May you know when you are lazy or merely being productive in a different way.  What if resting is a job that needs to be done regularly to create the optimal you!

 

 

Beautiful

I had a beautiful young woman visit me today.  She had much strength and much energy.   She was open and loving.   I enjoyed her visit.

May you have a visit that will warm your heart with someone you love today.

When we deeply connect to each other, it's a gift in the present!

May you have numerous 'gifts' today.

Worth Train

I was on the 'worthless train' big time last night.  Perhaps, some would even call it a melt-down.  I feel stuck to move forward; certainly cannot go backward; and I'm not the most comfortable with where I am at.  I'd say I found myself on the 'worthless train' last night.

Don't wanna go there too often! 

If you find yourself on the worthless train, may you notice there are no seats!

There are plenty of seats on the 'worth' train!

We are all worthful just because we are here.  You are worthful just because you ARE. 

May you know the beauty of your worth today.

Ghosts in Closet

"Part of you is dying,"  the ghost said pragmatically.  At Alex's shocked silence, the ghost added, "The part of you that drinks to avoid pain.  But avoiding pain only makes it worse."  "Then what the hell am I supposed to do?" Alex asked in weary hostility.  "At some point," the ghost replied after a while, "you may have to stop running and let it catch up to you."

From the book "Dream Lake (Friday Harbor)" by Lisa Kleypas

Good stuff!

"Dream Lake"

More from Lisa Kleypas' book "Dream Lake (Friday Harbor)"

"You know what I do when I'm facing something I dread?" Justine volunteered.  "I divide it into steps.  So, if I were going to meet with Alex at the cottage, I wouldn't let myself think about the whole three-hour ordeal--"  "It's going to take three hours?"  "More like two.  So I would start by telling myself, 'Step One.  All I'm doing is getting into the care and driving to the cottage.'  Don't worry about the rest of it, just do that.  And once you're there, say to yourself, 'Step two.  All I'm going to do is unlock the door and go inside to wait.'  And when Alex shows up:  'Step three.  I'll let him in and chitchat for a couple of minutes.'"  Justine gave her a self-satisfied smile.  "See?  None of those things are so terrible by themselves.  It's just when you view them all together that you start to feel like you're sprinting away from a rabid tiger."

May you encounter no rabid tigers today.

Past, Present, Future

"So much had happened since then, so many seasons.  What will the coming years look like, Lord?  What brilliant moments of joy, what moments of growth, what times of heartache are ahead?  For a moment, just thinking about the possibility of unknown sorrows seized her heart and brought a rush of fear.  She exhaled, feeling her fears fade as quickly as they had come.  Whatever the future held, she didn't need to be afraid.  Good and bad times were a part of life. As her dad always said, "This too shall pass."  And through the years that had been true.  Nothing stayed the same, except this:  God's faithfulness, and the love they had for each other."

From the book "Coming Home:  A Story of Undying Hope" by Karen Kingsbury

Be here now.   I am okay in this minute.    My past has proven time and time again that I can survive hardship.

What do you tell yourself to feel safe?

Differences/Similarities

From the book "Little Bitty Lies" by Mary Kay Andrews


""Not her kind of real job.  See, she was a mortgage broker.  She hung out all day with people who wore suits and played racquetball and drank Scotch.  I worked with people who wore shoulder holsters and drank beer and went bowling."

Heartache

""Don't worry," Emma said.  "There are worse things than having your heart broken."  "Like what?" Zoe asked skeptically.  "Never having it broken.  Never giving into love.""

From the book "Dream Lake (Friday Harbor)" by Lisa Kleypas

May you love today.

A Beautiful Dark Day

It's as dark as 9 pm at night here and, in reality, it's 9 am.  More wonderful rain coming my way.  The fish love it, my flowers, trees, and grass enjoy it also.  It is a gift from the heavens.

Balancing my mind is forefront on my brain today.  Again, keeping the thoughts I need, deleting the thoughts that are hurtful and letting some sit in the back of my head.....

...Ok, this is too much garbage for even me!  Today is a great day to live our lives and love what we do and be aware and honor what we do not so that we can move forward to create the life that we know we feel best living. 

Luckily in my teens and my 20's, especially, I lived and loved everyday.  I woke up excited and went to bed happy and content.  I did what made me feel good.  I worked a full time job that I loved and got paid well for and worked a part time job at night doing data entry during the week in the winters.   In summer, I worked Monday thru Friday and every weekend I headed to the shore and parked my car and walked, jogged and danced the weekend away.  Everything was easy for me to live me.  I had no other 'people' in my head.   I had great friends and good co-workers.  I did me, though.  People knew not to ask me for a party or anything if it was the weekend and it was not at the beach. 

Now, I have 'others' in my head.  And, in truth, most of them do not want to be there!  They'd prefer I'd let them be. 

So, how do I get back in my own head with just myself and get my 'me' on again.   I do not know.  I feel guilt even saying it.  I feel 'bad' or 'wrong'.  These are the thoughts that I want to delete from my brain forever.  I don't want to have one cell in my body thinking that if I do what makes me happy that others will be left out or hurt or alone.   I know this is not the truth in a big part of myself.  I have to get all of myself to believe this.

Oh, what's a woman to do!

May you feel your way to you and know that with an open heart, this is the most gratifying way to go!

Barking

"If I'd stop for every barking dog, I'd never get where I'm going."   on listening to all the critiques on her life.

Serena Williams

No Words

Sometimes there are no words to describe a feeling; a moment, a day.  Sometimes it's okay to just be and experience what is.  Sometimes, no words are the best solution.

Sometimes, it's always good to do different.

Sometimes, it's okay to just let go and live.

Sometimes, it's okay to just let go and be still.

Sometimes, it's okay to be completely open to what is.

Sometimes... it's a beautiful thing.

What are you doing with your 'sometime' today?

Wow

With all the therapy, cleansings, strategies, belief changes and medical and alternative situations I have tried, I still sit aghast with myself at times.  This is one of those times.

My energy level is lower than I want it to be.  My mind is not as clear as I want it to be.  Many a issue is upon me that I wish were not.  Mmmmm

This is what I call 'fighting what is'.  I do feel the stress of it, the agitation of it, the darkness of it.  I do not like it much at all. 

So, change it....  This is what is the collective answer that I hear...Accept it or change it...WELL, if I knew how to - wouldn't I?  It feels so hard.  It feels CLOSE to impossible.  It feels dark and heavy.

So, as I go to the dentist; as I call about my dog's end of life; I am in darkness.  For me, these two things are scary and what I think of as dark.

So, I play it out in my head....

If there was no dentist to go to; this could be much worse.  If there was no one to call to help me with my old dog, it could be even more horrendous.  So, I hear myself thinking it could be worse.  I know this in my heart and in my head it could be worse.  Yet, the choices in front of me are not my favorite. 

I trust the process of life; I trust myself and I trust others.  This faith of what is, perhaps, is all I have right now.  And, it is enough.  We walk through the darkness into the light time and time again.

I'm looking forward to feeling more light.

May you know and feel the light that is all around you and within you today.  May you be able to trust the process of life. 

Information Overload

Reflux,            Influx         Deducts.....
flowing away, flowing in, taking away.

These are the words that come to mind when I think of my brain! 

There is a lot of energy circling my head, in my ears and throughout my brain.  I am not comfortable.  What I keep hearing are these above three words.

I believe this to be in regards to all the information that I am taking in, giving up and exchanging through what was and what will now be of the person that I am.

I hope so.  I am in a state of reflux, influx and 'deductions'  in regard to any and all information that is dwelling/swirling/stabilizing in my brain.

Oh, the human mind.  How complex, how simple --   how do I best use it to live my fullest life. 

Meditation is a word that comes to mind!   Shut the darn thing off and allow it to just be!

Is your brain in the 'mindset' you want it to be?   Mmmmmm   Ha.

Show

I'm going to my daughter's horse show today.  It's a local one, finally, and I want to go and support her and enjoy the beauty of the horse and rider.

It's a beautiful day and it will be nice for me to soak up some sun.

I feel trepidation about leaving my old dog home alone for a bit longer than I'm comfortable with, AND, what is a woman to do.

I need to pick and choose and do what I think is best.  I hope that, for the most part, it will be the best for everyone and the process of what is will unfold gently and lovingly.

May you be open to gentleness and lovingness today as you choose your steps forward to YOU.

Waking Up

I'm waking up to another cloudy day.  It's quiet; it's nice.

I'm realizing that just because I've always done things a certain way and it's worked for me in the past, it doesn't mean that now it's best for me to stick to this same regimen in my life moving forward.

It's okay to change things.  When I hear myself saying "I've always had it or done it this way before..."; I'm thinking it's time to look at it and see if, TODAY, there is a better way.

Mmmmm

Is there a time tested way for you that has been in your life and worked again and again AND that just now may be the time to change and/or recreate it to fit who you are today; where your life is and where you want to go?


If you hear yourself saying "But, I've always done it this way."; perhaps, it's time to take a look and see if there is a better way for you today...   

Just saying!  Ha.

State of Distress

I'm in a state of distress just now.  I've been taking medicine for a very long time.  I'm feeling that I do not need certain medicine now and my mind and body are very used to taking these.  

I'm even wondering if I'm in discomfort because of this medicine.  So, the medicine that was my 'saving grace' for so long, could it be my discomfort now.

I'm believing that it is.  Do I know this as fact... no.  However, something inside of me knows that I no longer want this medicine for any reason whatsoever.  (yes, I have my doctors approval, ha)

So, as I go forward on my journey to heal my life, I am now at a crossroads to see who and how I am without medication.  Will this last or is this a temporary desire.  I'm afraid I do not know this answer. 

I hope to know it sooner rather than later.  I hope to accept what is as much as I possibly can.

May you know your heart's desire today and go with it.  Today will never come again.  How are you going to live it?

Peacock

Did you know that peacocks can fly short distances?  The beauty of what is.

Photographer Unknown

Learning and Growing

I am learning and growing in leaps and bounds just now.  IT IS NOT EASY for me.  I say what's on my mind lovingly and openly.  I ask for help to understand and move on.  I see what and how I created my life as it is and I admit to and own my decisions and choices that brought me here.

Yes, other people swayed me this way or that.  I allowed it.  I accepted it.  They could not without my approval or allowance.  THIS IS YUCKY to own for me, especially when it was a 'sway' away from myself. 

It was easier (in some ways) to blame ME on others; blame my unhappiness or my pain on others.  To admit that I would hurt or do something to live in a direction away from myself IS in my best interest; it is NOT the easiest thing for me to admit to myself.

May you admit to yourself where you may have gone wrong and move on from here.

Where I'm At

Well, little things can make me happy - and I got a pedicure for the first time in way over a year.  This is a huge deal to me.  My feet were not able to get a pedicure because of one toe and the soles of my feet being too sensitive AND now my dark blue toes (wanted to see what all the rave was about) are smiling up at me!  Ha.

In many people's lives, there still is trauma, oppression or life altering change and I see us connecting differently, more deeper to help each other; supporting each other; and leaning on each other.

I see some not knowing how to receive help. I see some not knowing how to give help. I see some easily doing one and not the other and I see some doing both.   Again, the human experience can be quite fascinating if we look at it through non-participatory involvement of, perhaps; can I say drama?  Mmmmmm  It is what it is, so I can know peace through whatever is happening if I choose it.   This is my goal for myself. 


The human experience (living in our bodies and dealing with the exterior and interior world of ours) is quite the hoot.   From dull to over the top; we are capable of knowing it all.  Truly, we are.  I am starting to feel that what most of us call positive and negative are really just what we want and don't want.  What doesn't hurt and what hurts.  Perhaps, the negative part is labeled 'bad', because it's something we surely do not want.

I've heard and read many say that their biggest 'negative' in their life eventually became one of the most positive things that ever happened to them.  Mmmmmm

What if when I was feeling a negative, I could just say what most likely can be the truth.  Well, I don't want this in my life; I feel I don't know how to handle it and, most undoubtably, I'll get through it.  This too shall pass.  And, choose peace in the chaos.  Just choose it. 

It's summer and the temperatures are stabilizing at high.  My body seems to work best in this stabilization of warmth and I feel pretty good.  I feel somewhat strong and I surely am not achy and hurting.  THIS IS GOOD STUFF.  I'd say this is positive.  Do we all have to go through negative to know what positive feels like.   So, negative can be positive in this sense, yes?

LOL, it is a bit early for my brain.  I haven't been up long enough.  Yet, this is what my fingers type.

May you choose peace.  Do you want to? 

In Between

A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night; and in between he does what he wants to.

    Bob Dylan

How 'successful' are you in this minute?

May you know great success today!

Grateful

I am so grateful to see this beautiful sight every morning when I open the curtains and every night when I close my curtains.  Nature is in my soul.  Color is joyful to me.   Life is beyond precious to me.

May you know gratitude for the the 'beautiful' that is in your life.

Extreme

I have an extremely busy day here at Shambala, my home.  I have my two regular contractors (who I'm so grateful for), the fish guy, the theatre guy and the propane guy coming today.  I have kids here and a wonderful hubby, although he is home sick.  The man never gets sick.  Proof of the world changing!  Ha.

WOWZA.  Extreme busy.  My body is bustling in preparation.  My mind is spinning to find the proper balance.  The puppies went to the groomer and Durby is hanging on.  Thank God for cats; the self sustaining, lovable family pet. 

It's cooler here in this area of the world.  It hasn't been in the 60's for months.  Of course, I do not wish to see anything below 60 and I know there are many people who do!  There's something for everyone in this world; WE just have to choose it.

May you choose what puts a smile in your heart and may you smile for another person today. 

Fear One

Why do I fear sorrow and do not fear happiness.  Why do I embrace joy but not grief.  Why are more people (generally speaking) more comfortable around laughter instead of tears. 

Why do I fear the one side of these feelings and not the other. 

Perhaps, thoughts to ponder.

If we all accepted that we all feel these things and it's better to feel and process than shut down and bury, could we all truly, always, share the human experience just as it was meant to be shared.  Mmmmm

May you share yourself just as you are today.  You are the present in this lifetime when you just let yourself BE YOU. 

When we come from our innermost self, through love, compassion and empathy, there is nothing more beautiful to me. 

Feelings

I'm feeling that people are digging deep to find their own answers and way.  I feel people are being supportive of each other doing this.  I'm feeling our loved ones and even most 'strangers' are wanting others and themselves to be happy.  I'm feeling almost everyone wants to go in this direction.  I'm feeling it's happening!

We are sharing our struggles more.   We are ignoring our troubles less.  We are feeling our way in a world that has almost everything right at our fingertips. 

The ease of what is is tremendous.  Our human brain cannot possibly take it all in.  We are forced to go inward to find the strength and power that is our own. 

What we want and need is not 'out there'.  There is no more to living than what we are doing.  In every life, there is birth, greatness, happiness, disappointment, joy, great sorrow, wonder and death.  I want to enjoy the happiness when I have it, swim in my greatness, allow the grief, feel the great sorrow, and believe in the wonder while living between my birth and my death.  I want to let it all flow through me and know I'm experiencing my life and it's okay.  It is more than okay.  It is everything I am and need.  It is pure brilliance.  What a ride! 

For me, the happiness and joy feel so much better.  In truth, the grief and sorrow allow me to know happiness and joy.  One does not come without the other.  Noone knows just one.  We are made to feel them all.  This is the human experience.

May you allow your life experience to be human.  (whew!)

Agitated

I feel myself being agitated.  I'm agitated that I can't brush my teeth completely and this is the third week.  Yikes!

I'm agitated and have some fear of my old dog's struggles and the hardship it creates and the transitioning that may soon be taking place.  It's very sad in one mindset.  And, it's the natural course of things in another.

I'm agitated that I'm here with my dog because I love him so much and he has given me so much joy, and, it is a hard place to find myself.

I'm agitated that I can't get my life on the track that feels best for me, ALWAYS.  I guess I'm starting to get bored with where I'm at.  I know in my mind that boredom just may be what propels me forward.  In my body, it doesn't feel so great.

I see everyone else doing and living and being.  I see a woman carrying two cases of beer and I tell myself maybe that's what I need to do.  I see a friend starting a new path.  I hear myself say she is on a better path than myself.   I see people out to restaurants laughing and I'm eating scrambled eggs for the third week.

OH WOE IS ME!  I could laugh at myself and I'm too angry to let myself do so!!!!

Oh, the webs we humans weave.  I'm a very good weaver indeed.

May you notice the webs you'd like to free yourself from and may you have the courage to do so.


(Of course, after letting my fingers 'run', I know what I 'see' is not complete reality, and yet, I let my mind believe it is somewhat....mmmmmm.)

Carl Jung

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams.  Who looks inside, awakens."  Carl Jung

May you dream and awaken today.

Not Relaxed

I cannot find how to get myself quiet or relaxed.  My mind is always running away with thoughts for others.  I know moving would stop this.   Moving and Doing is what I need more of in my life.  Why won't I move my body.  It feels paralyzed to do so.  The achiness in it can be subsided by moving my body.  My head truly knows this.  I need to get my head connected to my body so we work together as one and not separate as two.

As I write this, I feel crazy and nuts.  Yet, this, again, is my truth as I know it. 

If I was occupied by moving, my brain would slow down and focus on what I was doing.  I get lost in my brain and thoughts.  How very interesting.   I always thought I ran by my intuition/feelings/emotions.  I now am 'being' through my mind wandering to things I have no control of really.  How to change this or that; how to help her or them; how to deal with my old dog best. 

Perhaps, I can create a plan and MOVE away from all these hopeless and hapless thoughts.  Me worrying about someone or something is not going to change anything.  IT is going to happen whether I worrry or not; so why am I choosing worry. 

I do not want to choose worry.  I want to choose FUN.

What do you want to choose for yourself today?

Card

In the tarot deck of cards, "The Alchemical Tarot",  illustrated and written by Robert M. Place and Rosemary Ellen Guiley, I find a card currently that keeps returning to the forefront again and again.  It has come back to me in roundabout ways after I wasn't really 'feeling' it and put it back in the deck twice.  It cracked me up when I picked it up for the third time.  It got my attention.  Ha.

So, I'm going to go with the flow and present it here:  The Magician

"The Magician is a reminder that whatever we see in the manifest world contains a hidden divine essence; therefore, we are not to be taken in by shallow appearances, but must strive for deeper perception.  With the Magician we have advanced from the naivete of the Fool to the awareness of the initiate.

The Magician also represents skill both physical and verbal.  Physical skill relates to athletic prowess, or trade and craft skills, and the magician plies these with confidence and ease.  Verbal skills are the gifts of eloquence and entertainment; however, these skills are also the dark gifts of the trickster who fools and lies with words.  Even the most accurate words lie, in the sense that they only point to reality and are not reality itself.  If this card relates to something you have been told by others, beware - do not be taken in by eloquence.  Stay grounded.  Examine and analyse.

The Magician also points to our inner self.  In this context, the positive qualities of self-worth and self-confidence are emphasized.  Other people are attracted to the engaging, entertaining Magician within you; they admire your skills. 

If there are any negative signs in the reading they may point to a tendency to be too intellectual, and to rely too much on left-brain, rational thought.  The magician ideally is a balance of opposites, with the left brain in harmony with the right, matter in harmony with spirit and the microcosm in harmony with macrocosm.

The Magician's place in the Major Arcana as number one is the position of beginnings.  This parallels mythology, for Hermes is the god of initiation and of beginnings.  In a reading these beginnings might be a journey, a new spiritual awareness, a new job or a new skill, a new relationship or a new phase of life.  Hermes takes you to the threshold of change but does not lead you across it.  That is the next phase of the journey."

Journey on!

May we journey on our own path and meet as one very soon.

The Power is Within

Our power (each and every one's) is within.  I'm getting to experience it with friends and family.  I'm seeing change and feeling/witnessing the beauty of claiming one's own power.  It is quite awesome!!!!

To speak our truth, be okay with what is, trust the process and know that we are okay as we are... This is power!

Are you choosing to be connected to your power?

                                                        Photographer/Subject Unknown

Wonder

I wonder what I'm going to write today.  I know I feel quiet and restful.  I was out in this heat for a bit today and it's a hot one.  Really hot; like a sauna. 

The sun is bright and things are quiet.  All the creatures seem to be resting as well. 

I picked up some fresh squeezed orange juice at the grocery store.  I swear it tastes like sunshine.  I love it. 

I'd like to have helpful words.  I'd like to have happy words.  I'd like to have feel good words.

I don't.  Ha.

I do have a wish for peace; a wish for you to be connected to having what you need; and a wish for our world to grow together in positive accomplishment.

May you know what makes you feel your best today and allow yourself to have it!

Hungry

Perhaps a good question to ask oneself is "*Am I hungry in my stomach or am I hungry in my head?". 

What part of you tells you that you are hungry?

*taken from "The 600 lb. Life" show on TLC.

Learning

"It's not up to you what you learn; it is merely up to you whether you learn through joy or through pain."  From Course of Miracles told by Marianne Williamson on Oprah Super Sunday.

May you choose to learn through open heart and trust that you will be okay.

Where I'm At

I'm back on antibiotics from the small operations I had on my mouth.  My mouth is swollen and sore.  I cannot eat hard food.  This is the third week.  The good news is I'm not hungry and my weight has dropped a few pounds.  It's always fun for me to drop a few pounds.  I will be glad when my mouth feels like mine again.

My nerves are not the calmest.  Breathing deep is helping me when I remember and act to do so.  I'm still feeling stuck between the world of my home and the work force world.  It's okay, it is what it is.  I say that because thinking anything else just now is scary for me.  I'm looking at places, I have very few feelers out.  And, I am closer than I was last week.

My Durby dog (aussie) is losing his footing more each day and I enjoy his company greatly.  It's nice that I have this time to be with him and all my animals.

I hear the power washer as I type this.  The backyard is getting clean with very strong sprays of water.  It's a great thing.  It's more great that I do not have to do it!

I have many beautiful connections with beautiful people.  Many of these beautiful people have struggles just now.  Actually, all of us do.  Change is strong just now in the world I see.  I pray we come on board as best we can and together, instead of apart, create the world that each of us want to live in.  If we honor and come from truth and compassion, understanding and acceptance as best we can...  well, I would love to see this and be a part of this. 

I know many will not understand me.  And, if you can just let me be me because it is not hurting you nor is it denying who you are... this is a great start AND vice versa.  Until we walk in each other shoes (and this is highly unlikely to happen), may we be open to understanding and allowing acceptance of our 'unknown' to be helpful in the world. 

People that are hurting each other are hurting terribly inside of themselves.  I believe this.  Yes, hurting each other is not the way I want to watch my world happen.  If we each come from our own truth, whatever that may be and be able to open up and feel loved in return....  this just may be one answer. 

May your portion of the world from within, be about love, compassion, desire to understand and offering of your truth to carry on during your daily life.  This may be strange to some, if not many.  However, this is where I'm at.  I'm desiring to see a better, happier, more together world as I step back into it.

I am asking myself who am I to want this.  It is my truth.  I guess that's who I am.   I am just here on this earth and this is my truth. 

What is your truth? 

Thoughts I ponder:  Should truth feel good?  Perhaps, not always good, but always right..  ??  Does it sit deep within us always? 

Struggles

Struggles just may be one of our greatest teachers, along with our children!  An accident, a mishap, a challenge... they change us.  They open our eyes and our hearts.  Sometimes, if we are not ready, our hearts and eyes shutdown, hopefully, only for a very short while. 

Amazing, what the human mind and body can convey and do.  I always was so taken by human anatomy.  How so many thousands of things work simultaneously without us having to do anything.  It just is.  Our heart pumps, nutrients are delivered, breathing occurs, movement happens.   And it just does.  Really and truly amazing. 

What our brain is capable of is also very extensive.  Training the brain is a good idea. Most of us know this all during childhood.  I'm noticing that now, at 52, it's pertinent that I re-train my brain and reset and teach it new thoughts and let go of many very common thoughts that are in my head.  These 'old' thoughts no longer propel me forward.  These thoughts can either keep me stuck or push me back even.  I need new thoughts; better thoughts.  Thoughts made for this part of my life.  How exciting and how challenging this can be for me.  

First, I have to discover what I want these new thoughts to be.  Then, I am realizing I have to ingrain these into my brain and work from here.  BUT, HOW COOL IT IS THAT I CAN CHOOSE TO DO THIS.  Amazing, truly amazing.

How do your thoughts and struggles propel you forward?  Are you on board and willing to discover what works for you during this chapter of your life?

Are you attending your own college of BE U in the way that works best for YOU? 

Even though many of us, at one time or another, thought we knew it all, we can never know it all.  How fun it can be to learn!

                                   New York City (much working synergistically), yet, perhaps, much to be learned.