Connection and Connectiveness (is this a true word?)

Well, I have been up alot of the night with thoughts on this one scattered throughout my brain.  I just started reading "Get Ready to Live" by Scott A. Rossell (I believe his wife is part of this book too) and its talking to me about finding my life's purpose.  He tells us to come up with words that describe ourselves and also a list of things we love to do.  What came up for me most was I love feeling connected.  Connected to people, places, animals, and things. 

I see Oprah's commercial on her last season coming where it says what everyone wants; we all want to just feel connected.

I am realizing that this is very true for me.  From my family, friends, dogs, birds, fish that are my pets to the worm I pick up off the dry pavement and place in moist grass to the mice in my house that I use a no kill box to capture to place them outside to the moths from the birdseed that for the longest time I didn't 'bat' with my hand to the stink bug that I pick up with a paper towel and put outside (yes, I live in the woods).  I love my colored stone collection; my Coach pocketbooks, my Lady Lanel sandal collection, my belt collection. (Is this one reason name brands can be so popular - a connection to a popularly recognized company even.)   I connect with all of this.   I have sayings on stones, walls, plaques to help me feel connected.

I always try to befriend my hairdresser, the massage therapist, the doctors and contractors. I go as far as hoping that my 'shrinks' are enjoying the sesssion with me and that they are learning as well!   I always try to make the clerk, the toll booth collector, the service staff, the flight attendant smile.  I always say good morning or hello to the person biking past me as I walk my dogs, a person I see shopping next to me; alongside me in lines; I wave to the construction person holding the STOP or SLOW signs on the road.

I did a ceremony just last week to connect with angels.  I carried a Queen Anne Lace flower that I picked while walking my dogs while holding two leashes so I could get home and mail it to my 90 year old aunt who I think may be lonely.  I have another envelope ready to be mailed with 1980 pictures of a friend for her to enjoy.  I have a bag of stuff for another friend who may be in need.

Oh, yes, it's important and almost imperative, I suppose, for me to feel connected.  I'm sure I'm leaving some of my 'connectiveness' out.  I imagine the picture is getting quite clear, however.

And, then with alot of this going through my mind, at 4 am this morning, I realize I am paying more attention to everything and everyone else - connecting with them, treating them tenderly BUT how am I doing connecting to myself; treating myself tenderly.  NOT SO WELL.

When I am alone in my house, I may still be feeling anxiousness because in my head I am not alone.  I have many other people and things with me in my head. (and I've read The Power of Now twice and it has helped me nicely!)

I'm realizing that I want to do a better job at connecting to how I feel, what I'd like to do for myself, how I can feel like I'm being treated with tenderness and love.  I immediately go to the word selfish.  However, in the first-mentioned book, he states to think of it as self-ing and not selfish.  Hey, I think I like this!

I know that if I can't feel these things for myself - no one is going to be able to give them to me.

So, again, is it the balance that is most beneficial.  I'm proud of myself for caring and loving and feeling other peoples lives.  I am not proud how I have disregarded myself.  I'm thinking if I could get a better balance on giving to myself and giving to others, I just might be onto something positive and enlightening even.

This is most definitely a work in progress.  I have no questions to ask of the reader on how they are doing in this regard.  I hope balance is in your life clearer and firmer every day.  I think balance may be the most evasive and one of the most beneficial things in our human lives.

People have recently stated to me that they know "1/4 of what goes on with me" ; that I "never stated that before", that they would like to "hear about my struggle" (the one I've been talking to them [i think] since January about).

I thought and felt like I've been an open book.  Is this coming from me not connecting to myself and this is why I am hearing for the first time comments like this. 

Wow O Wow.

The life story continues......our life story always continues - until it doesn't.

Okay, now I'm tired!  Whew!

Forgiveness & Reconciliation

In a book called Boundaries by Drs. Cloud and Townsend, it states:

"When we are hurting, we need to take responsibility for the hurt and make some appropriate moves to make things better.  This may mean letting go of someone and finding new friends.  It may mean forgiving someone and letting them off the hook so we can feel better."

"Forgiveness is something that we do in our hearts; we release someone from a debt that they owe us.  Reconciliation is another matter."  "Forgiveness takes one; reconciliation takes two." 

Do you have pain from not forgiving something or someone?  Are you still living something that happened in the past with hurt?  Something that happened many years ago or just yesterday?  Is is possible that it's done; it's over.  There is nothing about the situation that you can change now?  How would you feel without holding onto this?  What would your life be like?

Would placing it in a stone and throwing the stone in the water help?  How about sweating it out of you?  Putting it on a piece of paper and burning it?  Or how about deciding your tired of the pain and just letting it go?

This is about you feeling at peace; you not hurting anymore.  You can give this to yourself.  The universe wants this for you.  So do I.

Keeping A Reserve

Always keep some reserved energy for yourself.  You can then give to others without depleting yourself completely.

If you hold on to some of your energy and keep it in reserve always, then you can give, give, give without ever feeling completely spent.  You will always have some for you when you need it; in case of emergency so to speak (or in case something really fun and/or meaningful comes up to do).

In doing this, I find that I can give more freely and more happily.  I won't feel complete exhaustion or resentment because I gave everything I had away.  I always have something for myself.  Life is good.

Have you ever given of yourself to the point of exhaustion?  How did it make you feel?  What if you could choose today to always keep some of your energy just for yourself.  You can you know.  Try it, perhaps, you'll like it! 

If you don't like it, you can always choose to give all of you away. 

You Know you Got it

You Know You Got It If It Makes You Feel Good!

Janis Joplin



Do something that makes you feel good today.

Today

Hope you are making your day a nice one!

Just for this moment - stop, relax your body, take three (3) deep slow breaths. 

Count 1 2 3 4 5 as you breathe in, Count 1 2 3 4 5 as you breathe out (or what ever count works best for you).

Remember, be kind to yourself and others.  Kindness goes a long way.

We all just want to feel cared for and connected.

Is there someone or something you'd like to connect to today?

As I Sit

As I Sit here alone in the early evening with dark skies and rain threatening, I wonder what great words of inspiration and true spiritual growth I can write in hope that some one person will hear it and smile. 

Today some of my focus is on relaxation of my body and my mind.  Are my shoulders tense; is my back tight; are my legs and feet supported by the ground or by engaged muscles. 

My mind - is it here typing these words or is it on the pencil falling on the floor as Tiffany, my 4 lb. Yorkie, drops it from her mouth to get my attention in hope to play.  Is my mind on my sister, my husband, my daughter or can I have it be here, right now in this moment.  In this moment where everything in my life is okay. 

The quiet in my home is so loud, I can hear my tinnitus (ringing in the ears) that as Louise Hay says is a sign of not listening to my inner voice.  I get several signs to remind me that I am not listening to my inner voice, yet it sometimes is such a whisper because I have forsaken it for far too long.

I so want to be able to hear my inner voice, my inner knowing and respond appropriately; accordingly.

For 20 years now, I have wanted to bring inside of me outside of myself.  To know how to share the real me without being scared of ridicule or abandonment. 

Lately, I have been daring to do just this and it's all been okay.  Perhaps, I am finally learning how to trust the process of life and myself and just share what I really think, feel and want.

This is how I know my world works best.  I would like to dare to continue living my truth now that I have reached outside and dare to go there.  I find when I live my truth it helps to enable others in my life to do the same.  It is such a beautiful thing.

Are you living your truth in this moment?  Are your shoulders relaxed along with your back and legs?  Are you showing on the outside what you feel on the inside? 

Only You Know How to Be U.

If any of this 'rings a bell' with you - run with it.  What doesn't, leave be.

Good news
Only You can make the changes you want for yourself in your life.


Bad news
Only You can make the changes you want for yourself in your life.


ONLY YOU CAN BE U.
What change, if any, do you want to make for yourself today?

The Mirror

Can you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself  "I Love You"?

If you can, do it everyday for a week.  If you cannot - try every day until you can. You are worth it.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Who's the Greatest of them All?

          Y O U!

Choose your path

As you live your life - are you proud, happy, content, sharing love in the moment or are you something you don't want to feel or something you don't want to be?

You have the power to change if you don't like what you are feeling to what you enjoy feeling.  For just this hour, can you live your life following the proud, happy, content, sharing love path for yourself?

What are the feelings you choose to follow to keep that smile in your heart, to choose the right path for you in this moment?  

YOU DO HAVE THE POWER AND IT'S YOUR RIGHT TO OWN IT.

Life Dream(s)

I heard something last night on TV that hit me good.  I'd like to share.

Once we stop being sad or disheartened because of the way we thought our life would turn out is so different than what actually is, we can then look and see the reality of our lives and all that the world has to offer us and has given us in its place.  We can build from there.  So many wonderful options.  We just need to let go of our dream(s) that didn't come to fruition and open all the other doors to the possibilities with what are within our reach now and be grateful for what we do have.

Are you still holding on to how you thought things would look like at this time of your life and feeling angry or frustrated because it's not like that?  Is it time to let go and regroup and create new dreams and even enjoy the parts of your life that can give you happiness now?

Feeling Other Peoples Feelings

I am thinking today of how much I feel other people's feelings.  I sometimes think I need to feel what they are feeling and respond the way they respond.  I wonder why I do this?  Do I not want to take responsibility for how I feel or do I feel more connected to people when I feel what they are feeling.  Probably both.

Is this helping me?  How is this hurting me?

It helps, perhaps, that I can understand and see other's viewpoints and circumstances.  It hurts, perhaps, that I lose myself in doing so.

Is there a way that I can understand other people's feelings and give enough compassion and still be my own person and don't disregard what I am feeling?  This is what I will achieve.

Are you where you want to be for caring for other people?  Do you feel good about the love and attention you give yourself?

From "Courage to Change"

"The people I love won't take care of themselves, so I have to do it.  How will they survive unless I . . . ?"  This was my thinking when I came to Al-Anon, my excuse for interfering in everyone's business.  My needs seemed so unimportant compared to the constant crises all around me.  Al-Anon told me that I had other options, one of which was to let go and let God.

When I think of letting go I remind myself that there is a natural order to life - a chain of events that a Higher Power has in mind.  When I let go of a situation, I allow life to unfold according to that plan.  I open my mind and let other ways of thinking or behaving enter in.  When I let go of another person, I am affirming their right to live their own life, to make their own choices and to grow as they experience the results of their actions.  A Higher Power exists for others as well.  My obsessive interference disrupts not only my connection with them but also my connection with my own spiritual self.

Today's Reminder
I am my top priority.  By keeping the focus on myself, I let go of other people's problems and can better cope with my own.  What can I do for myself today?

"I will remind myself... that I am powerless over anyone else; that I can live no life but my own.  Changing myself for the better is the only way I can find peace and serenity."

Are you your top priority?  Do something for yourself today.

Powerful Poem by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves - who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous, powerful?
    Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

Now is the time to let your light shine.

ARE YOU READY?

The Cicada

I am in the Northeast Pennsylvania area and we have alot of Cicadas right now.  Very loud singing Cicadas.  They are locust-like; Cricket-like.
One  morning while walking my Australian Shepherd, Durby, the noise of the Cicada was deafening to me.  I didn't like it and I felt unable to tolerate the noise.  When I got home, I looked up Cicada and realized the meaning of a Cicada was 'a loyalty to one's principles'.  I knew I was not paying attention to what I really want and need.  I was not being loyal to myself.   I immediately took this as me being unable to or not connected to listening to my inner voice.  The next morning there was a Cicada (first time I ever saw one) floating in my pool.  I scooped it out and it came to life;  it's voice was extremely loud and alive.  Its wings were wet so I placed it on a chair.  Within 8 minutes or so, it had flown away.  I took this to mean that I was going to live and I was going to be okay. 

Following this happening to me, I started sharing it with people.  This is what came out of it.

One woman who is in bad shape, stuck in a marriage that she's been questioning for a long time, drinking too much - told me a cicada recently attacked her. (Her inner voice wanting attention?)

Another woman who very recently left a bad marriage and was planning on going to the summer ski mountain and hanging out at the Tiki Bar told me she loved the sound of the cicada (loves that she listened to her inner voice?)

And, one last woman who recently lost 35 pounds and left her husband and started a new life for herself at the beginning of the year told me she was sweeping up the shells of the cicada on her front door. (sign of shedding her own weight and her old life?)

Very interesting to me, indeed. 

Where are you at paying attention and meeting the needs of your inner voice?