Be U: Mind-Body Dance

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Mind-Body Dance

There is a mind-body dance going on within each of us. Our bodies want one thing. Our minds want another. At least, from time to time.

When our inner-ness of who we are connects to our outer-ness of who we are, we are in a pretty good place.

I still gently 'work' at and/or allow what I am, what I know and what I feel to coincide, in unison, representing the same things and living the same whole path.

When this isn't possible to me because I have not learned it to be so in certain situations still, I shut down/want to run/or pretend otherwise.

The shutting down/running/and pretending otherwise is where I find myself still at; at times. However, I am learning, seeing, and feeling that to do this is to suspend moving forward.

It is okay to be stuck when stuck-ness is all that is available to us. However, if we can stay open, not run and allow ourselves to own right where we are at and/or what we are feeling [especially from a place of love], there is great victory for ourselves and all of those involved.

The victory is to deal, face and surpass which means to grow out of stuck-ness and allow new doors and windows and paths to open up.

This is not a time to judge. This is a time to be aware and ask ourselves how do we really want to deal with this current situation. Do we want it to keep coming up and/or back or do we want it to disappear and allow the flow of what and who we are to flow onward and not stagnate...

I am very aware of the communication that I replay and replay because I don't know a better way. I am very aware that certain vibes back and forth and within the same circumstances are bringing within me feelings and compromises that I no longer want to partake in.

And, until I change how I bring myself to these circumstances/situations/exchanges, nothing within me will change. A new me has to emerge to dissipate the old stuck-ness.

I am worth it and, surely, you are too.

May you allow the newness in you to show up to dissipate the oldness in the situation/circumstance/exchange that you are tired of having. The one that pulls you down or turns you off. The one that keeps you in your own stuck-ness.

The good news is that you are the only one that can change things up. Why you have to be the one to change things up is because you are the one that is unhappy in it.

As you find yourself unhappy or unfulfilled, may you connect deep and ask yourself what new way you can portray or offer up to get your happy and fulfilled you on.

It just may happily surprise you that as you ask yourself this question, the answer may just be waiting right there in the wings (so to speak) for you to fly through and into better pastures known as situations/circumstances/exchanges.

My wish is for you to surpass your stuck-ness.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!