Be U: Acceptance

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Acceptance

I am accepting where I am. I am meeting myself where I'm at. I am open to my truth and I trust that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I do my best to relax into me. Relax into each moment. Breathe.

Life shows us many ways. Life gives us many experiences. When we bring our truest of self to everything that is, we are fulfilled in the moment.

Feel your goals inside of yourself. Learn from your past experiences. Feel the success that you have accomplished. Feel the paths that you have been on. Feel the you that you have shared. Be open to many wonderful new experiences moving forward.

Perhaps, we must feel and trust everything that we are now to bring our complete self into our own future.

Right now, in this very moment, this very breath, we are okay. We are surviving. We are thriving. We are living. And, we are using up the minutes of our lives.

Who do you want to be in these moments that consist of and include your whole life...

I want to know peace. I want to be peace. From this peace, I want to share life from where I am each day; each moment.

I want to honor and feel grateful. I want to connect in joy and in harmony. I want to accept the flow of life as my life flows in me and through me.

Right here; right now, you are experiencing your life. Are you bringing the best of you with you...

Even through our darkest times, we can choose love. Love can be present as we process through our own bodies and experience what is there. Bodies can hold on to memories.

May you experience all that shows up for you to experience and may you allow the kindness, truth and trust that is inside of you to grow.

As you grow with kindness, truth and trust, may you grow into the version of you that you enjoy the most.

It is, perhaps, our own choice to choose love.

May you open to self-love as you choose self-acceptance. May you accept what is as you bring your own loving energy to all that you see, know, experience and touch.

Stand tall and believe in the energy of you. Reach deep, in, out and high...

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!