Be U: DOUBLE YIKES

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

DOUBLE YIKES

I don't know if it's because of who I am; what I do; what I love or why I'm here.... I am seeing such a force upon each and mostly everyone of us that we are finding ourselves looking in the mirror and saying "Double Yikes"!

God, the universe, whatever you want to call this power greater than ourselves (our life force) is no longer fun or funny in many regards. (I honor your beliefs.) We are in a serious business of co-creating a new world vibration and having to face our own demons seems to be the very best way through this. Notice I did not say easiest. I truly believe it's the hardest, one of the most crucial times of humankind.

BUCKLE UP is what comes up for me now.

Double; triple, quintuple YIKES -- Buckle up -- and Live on through your truth.

We have this. Together, we have this as our own individualization shouts upward and out. Your truth may just set me free. Ha.

Whatever you are most afraid of just now - perhaps, NOW is the TIME TO FACE IT HEAD ON. You have everything you need to live the path you are supposed to live. YOU are the path that you are supposed to go down and share all of yourself with us.

Iyanla Vanzant said on her show on the OWN network (by the way is the most HUMAN network we have and it truly rocks in my eyes) - We think what crazy we live in is better than the crazy we don't know anything about. - When I told my friend this, she questioned if this meant that there are crazier people out there. What I get from this is -- the crazy life that we lead is more settling in our mind than going and finding a new way -- we know this life at least. Sometimes just the familiarity of our life wins over the unknown and we stay stuck.

We can no longer stay stuck. It's not working for most of us. Unstucking ourselves isn't easily done!

So as you look in the mirror - know that the person you are seeing is a lovable human being. Perhaps, not everything we've done is lovable but we are lovable. You are lovable. You matter. You count just because you are here now.

We've done the best we know how. We are learning better now and it's time to put this learning into effect. Please be gentle on yourself as you do this. Be kind to others and know they are doing the best they can with what and who they are.

We will succeed - 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed! (what, am I Dr. Seuss now!) "Oh the Places You'll Go" (great book)

May you see, feel and live the truth of all that you are. What if, just, what if, all we had to do was share our innermost selves and share what we are most afraid to share and everything would fall into place... wouldn't that be a hoot?

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!