Be U: Not Sure

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Not Sure

I decided to open the Tarot Card book "The Alchemical Tarot" by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place to see what comes up before my trip to the conference which, to me, is about inner consciousness, openness and movement. While picking two cards I was thinking about the trip. With one other card, I was thinking about my husband. LOL

Here is what I picked.

As I relate to the TRIP:

King of Staffs
"Our primitive animal passions are the source of our life energy. They must not be vilified. The dragon coiled around the staff is synonymous with the Tantric kundalini force, a serpent-like energy which coils at the base of the spine and is the source of psychic power. This is a card of inner strength; it tells us that we have energy in reserve."

Ten of Vessels
"No one is emotionally separate and alone. Harmony comes from recognizing your connections to others. Do not isolate yourself - you need others to make your way in life. On a spiritual level recognize your part in the greater whole of the divine cosmos, and know that the function of each individual is essential to the harmony of the whole."

As I relate to the HUBBY:

The Magician
"The Magician is a reminder that whatever we see in the manifest world contains a hidden divine essence; therefore, we are not to be taken in by shallow appearances, but must strive for deeper perception. With the Magician we have advanced from the naivete of the Fool to the awareness of the initiate.
The Magician also represents skill, both physical and verbal. Physical skill relates to athletic prowess or trade and craft skills, and the Magician plies these with confidence and ease. Verbal skills are the gifts of eloquence and entertainment; however, these skills are also the dark gifts of the trickster who fools and lies with words. Even the most accurate words lie, in the sense that they only point to reality and are not reality itself. If this card relates to something you have been told by others, beware - do not be taken in by eloquence. Stay grounded. Examine and analyse.
The Magician also points to our inner self. In this context the positive qualities of self-worth and self-confidence are emphasized. Other people are attracted to the engaging, entertaining Magician within you; they admire your skills.
If there are any negative signs in the reading they may point to a tendency to be too intellectual, and to rely to too much on left-brain, rational thought. The Magician ideally is a balance of opposites, with the left brain in harmony with the right, matter in harmony with spirit and the microcosm in harmony with the macrocosm.
The Magician's place in the Major Arcana as number one is the position of beginnings. This parallels mythology, for Hermes is the god of initiation and of beginnings. In a reading these beginnings might be a journey, a new spiritual awareness, a new job or a new skill, a new relationship, or a new phase of life. Hermes takes you to the threshold of change but does not lead you across it. That is the next phase of the journey."

And, then, go deep. We already have all the answers we need inside of us. Can you find your depth to the most pressing question just now... Are you willing to own it.... It's there... BELIEVE

May you believe in yourself where you haven't in a while.

Eagles (picture from an email)

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!