Be U: It's a Beautiful Day

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, April 29, 2011

It's a Beautiful Day

I want to thank Mother Nature for giving us, here on the Northeast Coast of the United States, a beautiful, sunny, comfortable, breeze over the skin kind of day! It's perfect. So much green everywhere. Trees and flowers blooming; white petals, pink petals, lime green growth on the trees; beautiful blue sky. I just want to take it all in and be a part of it. Alleluia, it's glorious! Ha.

My pond fish are swimming around with their colors of gold, white, yellow, black and orange. They seem to be so happy and satisfied. When I first feed them, they glide frantically over the water's top and so fast and erratic to get the pellets floating on top. It's like a bunch of lean, colorful, strong sleek locomotive style movement. I love it. I'm so grateful to have them in my back yard.

My Gia dog sits on the rock and watches them. Cali, my cat, lies on the rock and watches them. It is certainly a breath of fresh air and extremely enjoyable for me. The waterfalls are up and running and the sound is so soothing and calming. The sight of them is energizing and provokes happiness.

I'm pushing myself today. The health of my body is still messing with me and there is a force here wanting to keep me down. I'm going to give it my best to not let it. I am going to acknowledge it and tell it No, not today. (See how this works!)

I am still doing my floor work daily and walking my big dog regularly. So, I do have some movement on my side. It really makes a huge difference. I wish I was doing more and I'm glad I'm doing what I can do.

It's becoming more and more the process, not just the goal, that is the 'living' for me. So, every step matters. Every doing counts. Every moment will never come again and they all add up to my life.

So, today, I'm gently going to be a part of as moments as I can and at the end of today, I'd like to look back and be able to say, I lived my moments in my fullest potential for today. That's all I want today.

What are U going to do with Ur moments today? May they not be wasted by us not participating in them.

I want the totality of me to be together in each moment. My mind, body, spirit and soul to experience these moments together. I don't want my head, spirit or soul to be ahead or behind where my body is planted.

Happy Planting!

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!