Be U: Another Adventure

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Another Adventure

I drove to Gainesville, FL today. First time I was ever there. Went to look at new cars for myself. I need one.

Anyway, on the drive up I was connecting with my very dear friend who has been 'troubled' for some time. She sent me a text that really hit home with me and made me smile and feel hopeful for her. I pulled over at the next exit so I could call her. We were talking quite true and it was very emotionaly for me.

As I exited the highway, Slow Ride from Foghat was on the radio which, to me, was one song from her and my teenager days (and we saw them in concert together) and when I pulled off the exit - there was a Club Risque (ris kay) Risky - her and I have been through some turmoil lately, although lovingly. I pulled off at a place called Micanopy. I came home and looked the word up, but it wasn't in the dictionary. However, having to take it a step further; looked up canopy (thinking Micanopy could be said as my canopy) and one of the definitions was 'the sky'. So, me being me, I thought my sky; thinking it to mean anything is possible and the universe is open for our healing.

I traveled a bit further and I see a sign that says 'All great things are not things at all'. I thought how true this is.

Even though I'm on my way to look at a car that I've been dreaming of owning for some time now - I know that the most important things in life are what we feel and share. And, admittedly, getting things I like feels good too.

Found a really, fun and great car that would suit me very happily; a Mercedes C300; and my life is flowing. My mojo is working for me. I like the sporty, fun, freedomful feeling it gives me.

This is where my pen name comes in - Mercedes. Oh, I am so moving forward and I'm having fun now.

Another tidbit about this very emotional day for me was that when I was growing up - some of the adults around me would call people that drove Mercedes' "rich bitches". I have this 'something', for lack of a word, associated with this car. The new styles I find very exciting. The car is pretty awesome in my opinion.

Do I deserve it; am I worthy; I don't want to be called a rich bitch; I really like it.

Almost feels like a full circle day for me from childhood to adulthood.

I say keep it coming; keep it coming indeed.

Let life and my being connect and flow through me. Own exactly who, what, why and how I roll!

Are U rolling the true U into life and living?

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!