Be U: Tarot Card Fun

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Tarot Card Fun

I sit down in a discombobulated state and decide to pull out the Tarot cards and pick three without looking.

First one that pops up is Death. Not talking about physical death. It reads "death is necessary in order to make a new start.   We must allow the old to pass away so that we can usher in the new. The trick to a steady path is knowing when it is time to let go and allow death to claim what it should.  Mourn and give what is passing its due, but do not linger in grief. Something new is on the horizon."

The next is the Ace of Coins.   "You are at the beginning of well-being. You are on the right path. Do not forget that every manifestation in the material world emanates from the spirit."

Third card is Five of Coins.   "Ill-health is present in your life, but the means to turn the situation around is within you. You must open up to the quinta essentia, the world soul, that is at the centre of your being. The same intelligence that continually creates the universe has created you. By accepting the guidance of your higher self you can draw on the power and allow it to transform your life."

So, now I feel excited but still want feeling like I want more; not yet satisfied; an answer to my discombulated state. I pick one more card........

King of Vessels.   "To rule your emotions means to let them alone. They are a force of Nature. You are the source of your own satisfaction; do not look to others to provide that for you. Do not allow others to take away your happiness. It is only necessary for you to control your own behaviour, which is independent from the emotions."

So, what I take away is that it is time for me to allow my emotions their place in my life and control my behavior as to what works best for me. Only I can give away my power and only I can make choices to change my beliefs and thoughts. Which, in turn, changes the way I feel. When I listen and respond to what I am feeling, accept what I am feeling and respond accordingly, then I can be there for myself and be present and enjoy or let go and do better.

My wish for you is to accept that what you feel is perfectly okay and completely the real truth for the total YOU and choose to connect with it and give the feeling what it needs to either grow or move on. To allow you to Be U.

Your attention is greatly appreciated by your emotions. Your behavior is what keeps it or lets it move on. Is this true?

The above words in quotes are from book The Alchemical Tarot by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place. I shared what caught my attention from each card.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!

Coming for the Real You.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Tarot Card Fun

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