Be U: New Year

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year

When I used to run my fitness business, the beginning of the New Year was probably the most busy time. I'd have aerobic classes of 35 people; all with their resolution to get healthy and fit.

By the end of January, I had 15 or less in my classes. The clients that hired me for personal training did stick with it usually til the end of February.

I was lucky enough to get people that really worked hard and kept with me all year. It was great fun for me. It was the major part of my life and I was exercising at the beach where I lived. Two of my favorite things in the world and I was living it.

Many, many moons later, I am not at the beach and I am not exercising regularly.

I did have scleroderma then and I did have pain; however, the pain was there but I considered it a nuisance. I now consider it debilitating. I'd like to go to no pain; and, if I cannot, I'd at least like to go back to considering it just a nuisance!

Two things are 'talking' to me here.

One - that almost everyone or a lot of us KNOW that exercise is a good, happy path. Perhaps, we don't even have to say exercise. We can use the word movement. We all know to move our body, to use our muscles, our bodies are better human bodies. We just feel better all around.

Two - that my thinking and being on my path of loving what I do is really important to being happy and being able to live with pain; with pain not being the major part of my life. Doing what makes me happy and things I love to do are critical to me and, perhaps, can even help me to put pain on a lesser scale of importance than I have it now.

Just thinking.

So, my child is almost grown and my job of being a stay at home mom is no longer fulfilling my need to feel accomplishment. So, it's time to figure out what I want to do when I grow up, again.

I woke up asking my body what it needed and it told me Exercise/Movement.

See how easy it is to figure things out....!!!!!????

My wish for you is an easy answer to fulfill something within yourself that you need.

I truly believe that this will make us better people to make our world a great place for all who are in it.

If there is a void, fill it up I say.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!

Coming for the Real You.

Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year

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