Be U: Putting Up the Tree!

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Putting Up the Tree!

I'd like to share my experience and thoughts with putting lights on my tree. Just the lights.... Oh my.

So I have six strings of lights on. Didn't really take me long. However, they are new lights; so just to open the boxes (would not have been able to do it without a knife), undo the twisty, open the strings up; I heard myself screaming and stomping my foot. Kept hitting the ulcers on my fingers. Hey, I DID IT, though!

So, I have the six strings on the tree and I stopped at three strands and hooked up a three way electric adapter and continued with the other three strands. Got to the bottom, realized I didn't have a plug to plug into an outlet. Wrong end. Scream/stomp.

Okay, got an electric cord with multiple openings and replaced this with what I had originally put there and got myself the plug I needed to plug into the wall. Then got the timer and screamed and stomped at not being able to pull the timer 'stoppers' out of the timer to put them on the time I needed the timer to work. Eventually grabbed them, dropped them, picked them up, but, I DID IT! I'm so close to plugging this in and seeing the beautiful lights. My anticipation is building....

I plug the cord into the timer (after having a hard time unplugging the cord's own plug from itself -- it took me approximately 2 minutes -- it was stored this way) and go to put the timer into the wall and realize that the way the cord plug rests on the side of the timer, it sticks out too much that the timer won't fit into the wall! LOL (although I wasn't laughing then).

So, I got the first multiple adapter that I originally used and plugged that into the wall first and the timer then was able to be plugged in. Hip Hip Hooray. Let there be light!

I DID IT. My goal was accomplished.

While I was doing all this, what came to my mind was 'just think of all the screaming, stomping and frustration that might be going on today and all this 'energy' going into the world.' WOW. How does this 'energy' compare to if we were all singing and laughing and really being merry and all that energy going out to the world instead.

I wondered if the people from Germany, Russia or Croatia and all around the world could hear me screaming and stomping.

Oh, yes, where my mind does wander....

I am hoping that the 'energy' you are putting out into the world is the positive and happy u more often than not.

I will continue to strive to put my 'merry' out to you more than my 'bah humbug'!

Then, I think. "well, it is all energy once it gets out there and I hope others pick it up as positive, happy, BE U energy."

OK, I'm going back to the tree! Aren't you glad I'm done here? ha.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!

Coming for the Real You.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Putting Up the Tree!

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