Be U: (Open to See Messages) Adventure

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, May 20, 2013

(Open to See Messages) Adventure

I went out this morning for a ride; an adventure. My cranial sacral massage that I had scheduled was cancelled and I had time to spend and I was up and ready to head out; so out I went. I had plans to go to a Florida department store to exchange new dog walking shorts (ha) that I had ordered online through Amazon because they were not the correct fit. The paperwork said that I could exchange them at the store itself. So, off to exchange I went.  And; to feel and learn more about what was going on in my body that was bringing me much discomfort. My goal was to connect to something greater than myself for any kind of answer that would possibly be forthcoming and easy to reach.

Two nights ago, I made up a new playlist, in the spur of the moment, labeled 'car drive' and, today, I brought it with me and headed out into a rainy, stormy day.

And, my adventure began...

First song that came on was "I Want a New Drug" by Huey Lewis. I've been questioning the medicine that I am on.

The next song was "Give it to Me Baby" by Rick James. I was laughing singing for the Universe to give me something to help me out! lol "give it to me"

Next, was "She's a Bad Mama Jama" by Carl Carlton and by this time I thought I was a bad mama jama and I was dancing and singing loud because I just had to laugh that these songs came on in this order and I had it on 'shuffle'. Of course, I did put these songs on the playlist. I'm not that 'hooked up'! LOL more.

The next song was (bear with me, I'm not going to tell you all the songs, just these first few because it rocked my world!) "Get Up Offa That Thing" by James Brown which says "try to release that pressure" and pressure was one of the main things I was looking to get rid of!

So, by the time this song was over, I was out loud praising the Lord with my arm reaching up because I felt my entire connection to the Universe! and right in the midst of me doing this... "Double Dutch Bus" by Frankie Smith comes on and says 'give me a ho'....   I'm so cracking up and having fun.

Yes, I am realizing the only thing that really changed was my mindset.

Oh, and not only did the massage people cancel on me, but the people that help me keep my home clean cancelled today also.

So, I get to the store and this particular store did not have the shorts that I wanted to exchange. They suggested the store 20 more minutes north would have them. As I am there getting directions, I look over and there is a card staring at me that says "She Who Never Gives Up". Yes, I purchased it.

So, back in the car I go.  Teeming rain and I'm dancing and singing to the music. I also noticed - even after hearing these songs for so long and so many times - the background musical notes played by the instruments were very pronounced and many were new to me. Just another Mmmm.   I imagined these notes going through me and connecting to the part of me that they wanted to connect to. I stretched my jaw, jerked my neck and moved with them. (hopefully this is as weird as it gets!)

I find the northern store and as I'm walking towards it, I realize that it is called Bealls and what I see is Be all. I'm cracking myself up! By now this was a longer journey than I expected for just extremely casual and comfortable shorts.  It was interesting, I felt good getting further away from home to just get away to something different.

Anyhoo, I did my exchange and I had lunch of a wrap and a smoothie and I drove and danced more but with less vigor. I went to the grocery store and I got home. When I picked my phone up after putting the food away, it was dead. Not, dead as in not charged, but dead as in nothing happening no matter what. May I offer that this was another cancellation on me this same day. Hoot!

My daughter gave me a trick or two to try and it did come back on after about an hour. And, I was happy! I did not want to have to go to get another phone.

So, if there is a moral to this story... I have to say what kept coming up for me was to accept it all. Accept the real fun with the stuff that doesn't feel so fun. It really is all not good and all not bad. Perhaps, its nothing. It is just what it is. Society has showed me things which made me feel that some things were good and some were not.   Yet, it's all just a part of life and living. It's all a part of this journey here. If I didn't label it and just lived it... well, how do you think this would feel on you?   As certain feelings come up; they are what they are.  Crying is no different than laughing. Yes, it feels different and the majority of us do both. It is just the way it is. It's supposed to be this way.

If some days I feel okay and other days, I do not.. It is the way it is supposed to be.   Sure, I can try to pick things and say things differently to create different outcomes and yet... It is all a part of this human experience. BE ALL. If I want a new drug, I can do something about it.   If I need or want something I can get it or ask for it. If I want to be a bad mama jama, I can be a bad mama jama; or not. If I want to release pressure there are many ways of doing so. If I want to thank the Lord and give him and our universe a shout out, I can shout out.   It's all a part of living. Whatever I create, do, feel... I am supposed to create, do and feel.... or I wouldn't do it, yes?   It may not be the outcome I want or it may be better than I want. And it all just is.

If I can be me through all that is, I'm doing pretty good.

May you just be you... all of you... as often as possible. Whew!

For those of you that have known me for a long time, I'm thinking you may relate the best because all these songs I loved once upon a time.... and today... they had a whole new meaning for me!   How cool I find that! There is, perhaps, a word for this.... foreshadow. LOL

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!