Be U: InPower Sisterhood

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, July 19, 2013

InPower Sisterhood

I've connected to this beautiful 'being' on Facebook and I woke up to this wonderful, inspiring, thought-provoking, caring, helpful, EXCITING, post. I have to share it with you because I'm shaking with everything that I am.

I have been telling myself - 'there is nowhere to hide' anymore. The Universe needs all of us, together.

Thank you Janelle Saar. You have rocked my world in a great way. (I think - lol)
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"This morning I woke up and asked the Universe to give me guidance on an article topic for today. I asked to receive a topic that was needed by our sisterhood, one that would resonate with our sisters here. I love how the Universe works. When I logged into the In Power Sisterhood page this morning I found a comment from one of our sisters, Lisa. Lisa and I have had a conversation about fear. Lisa’s last comment to me in our conversation was “If you ever post about this…I’d be interested in your thinking…I need help! Thank you.” As I read Lisa’s words I got chills throughout my whole body because I knew the Universe had answered my request and Lisa was the messenger.

My conversation with Lisa started with her making this comment: “When fear knocks on the door, may you open it and see that nothing is there. Just give yourself 8 seconds. After these 8 seconds, you will be without fear again. Bigger risk, bigger payoff. No such thing as a failure. Failure is always a great lesson. If it feels like failure; most likely, it’s not your path and there is a better path for you.”

I meet a lot of people who believe fear is a bad thing. For a long time I was one of them. I believed fear was bad because I had a negative association to fear. When I began processing my own fear I began to see fear differently.

Fear is triggered when your ego wants to keep you safe. Some define fear as False Evidence Appearing Real. The human mind is incredible. It remembers everything that has ever happened to you in life that wasn’t safe physically and emotionally. If you had a bad experience when you were 3, your mind has it filed away. When your ego sensed danger it goes into the files and pulls up every data point it can find in your life to remind you of the danger so it can keep you safe. This associates fear to all the bad things that have happened in life. Now you have a negative connection between fear and bad things happening and your ego will use it every time you face fear.

One way to deal with fear is to disassociate from the negative part of fear. You can teach yourself that when your ego triggers fear, you are not going to hold onto the negative emotions of it. This is what Lisa suggests in her comment above. She says “when fear knocks on the door, may you open it and see that nothing is there.”
There is another way to deal with fear that many people overlook. That is to turn your fear into the adrenaline of life. I have a friend, Dave, who has done thousands of parachute jumps. Every time he stands in the doorway of the airplane ready to jump he faces fear. He doesn’t choose to disassociate to that fear, instead he embraces it with every ounce of his being. In that moment when his ego triggers fear telling him he’s in danger and he could die, he turns it into adrenaline. He takes what the ego is triggering as fear and he makes it the adrenaline of life. When his ego says we are not safe and we might die, Dave turns that into feeling like he has never been more alive. Dave is an adrenaline junkie. In situations where most people feel fear, Dave feels alive and vibrant.

What’s the difference between Dave’s fear and Lisa’s fear? The meaning they tie to their fear and the choice they make in how to handle the fear! What meaning do you assign to the fear you feel? When you are faced with a big decision and your ego wants to keep you safe, you get to choose what that means and how you want the fear to work for you. Here are your choices: You can believe your ego and retreat to a safe place where you play small in your comfort zone. You can disassociate from the negative aspects of fear, know its false evidence and push on. Or you can fully connect with the fear and turn it into adrenaline that makes you feel more alive than you have ever been!

How do you handle fear? Are you aware of the choices you are making when attaching meaning to your fear? Be a part of our sisterhood by sharing your comments. We all grow and learn when you share!" InPower Sisterhood
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Well, my first comment is... Dave is nutz. (lol) too funny and Thank you Dave for sharing with Janelle your insight on fear. Janelle, thank you for hearing me, caring and connecting on this.

Huge for me. My body is still vibrating as my mind processes this new and powerfully helpful information.

Look out fear. I'm coming with you!

May you choose to allow fear to be your friend, your guide, your enabler when it pops into your life.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!