Be U: Inner/Outer You

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Inner/Outer You

I have a wish for us all. I have hope for our world. I have a dream that I believe in. I have a desire that I hope will give you fulfillment.

May you allow your 'inner knowing' to create your 'outer being'; your 'outer 'doing''.

May we allow this to lead us all to our individual, greatest self that connects to the depth of our oneness/togetherness that will create our best and greatest world.

Bahahahahahah

How simple it is. How complex I can make it. How true it feels in every part of my being.

When your outer you mirrors the inner you.... we all win. Let us be the person we were born as and made to be. Let us share our true selves with each other. Let us support each other even when we don't understand what is within each other. Let us try to understand and even if we believe it is not for us, perhaps, just 'play' with the thought that it is okay as long as we are coming from our own true loving self.

A person that is hurt can hurt us. A person that knows only love, perhaps, can only love us. A person that can abuse or make huge mistakes or live differently is still a person. Your love just may be what propels them to their fullest potential in light and kindness.

How would the world look/feel/be if we supported each other to live their fullest potential without judging what that potential needs to look like.  What if we could all get to the place of love leading our thoughts and actions instead of hate, fear, judgment and/or criticism.

I don't really want to be this person with these words sharing these thoughts. I feel very different than many. I know there are others that do think similar as I. I believe there are people that think it is better to fight for what they believe in. I say speak what you believe in; stand strong in what you believe in... and let others do the same. When it comes from love, I don't see how abuse, hurt or ugly can happen. What is right for one does not mean it is right for every one.

I've resisted and sat quietly and processed my own 'stuff'. I keep coming back to togetherness, truth and love. I always come to togetherness, truth and love.

It is what is deeply inside of me to share. It is what I have called my 'crazy'. It is what I am most fearful of being ridiculed about. It is what is in the depth of my soul and my entire being.

I am speaking the inner me and less scared than ever to create my outer actions around it.

Yes, I still have fear of 'hurt-full' people and many thinking I'm off my rocker. Yet, I know that now is the time and I have no where to hide and this is my truest of truths. I do want to save the world.   I do want to help others love on and shine bright. I do want joy, peace, love and togetherness to rule our world. I don't want us to suffer anymore because of not understanding each other's uniqueness and individuality and fighting the same.

I want you to own your world and allow it to be the most loving, wonderful, truthful and easy part of what, who, how, why, and where you reside in and live out from.

You are needed; just as you breathe, just as you are. You are needed to complete us all. Let's complete each other as we only live our own complete self.

Yes, I can call this hogwash, nuts, nonsense and bull.   And, I also know that it is at the depth of our humanness and when we get our truth out from under and let it lead us forward at the outermost part of our reach... only then will life be the most awesome life we can know.

Just what if....

ALL YOU HAVE TO BE IS YOU

Martin Soulreader, Facebook

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!