Be U: Quite the Storm

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Quite the Storm

I e-mailed my Friends saying that I feel so close to being whole and I feel like there is a dark force here keeping me from getting it all.

(Can't make this stuff up)

Now, it was scheduled to storm and the winds picked up greatly, it got very dark and the rain started to come down.

I decide to go out in the rain, stand there and lift my arms to the sky saying that I choose the light; I am one with God; I am one with the Universe and I am not afraid of the dark; bring it on. I even did two spins around. The heavy rains came and I lost electricity. I laughed so hard.

So, the storm passes and there are leaves abundantly in the pool. I start pulling them out. I end up in the pool, by choice, fully clothed and telling myself I'm baptizing myself falling backwards in the water. For people that know me know that I do not go in the pool. I tell myself I am resurrected. I swim a lap using the breast stroke. I get out of the pool; walk through the house soaking wet and realize that the shower; nor hot water; nor lights; nor heater in the bathroom is accessible because of no electricity.   I laughed real hard.   My hands were NOT purple or cold. I told myself this is what 'refreshed' feels like.

Baptize - to cleanse spiritually; initiate or dedicate by purifying (dictionary.com)

Resurrected - bring to life again.    to bring back into use, practice (dictionary.com)

It's amazing that when I do things by total choice and intuition how much fun I can have. I'm telling myself that I am full of light and connected to the universe... Electricity stays off for 9 hours.

So, about 1.5 hours into it - I find myself frustrated and hot (no A/C) and realizing how ultimately silent it is in my house without electricity. I sang Oh Holy Night and Please Release Me for good measure.

My dogs just followed me and watched me. Durby was scared because of the beeping of the alarm system and the sirens of the vehicles out doing their courageous jobs.

The dogs and I were all discombobulated. I was home alone. (Good thing, huh?) LOL

Around 3:30 a.m., we got our electric back on. The house was no longer dark or quiet. I was up changing all the timers and clocks. I was making sure the fish tanks were back up and running. My big tank did leak some and I was sopping up water at 3:30 this morning. It wasn't horrible. Everything was back up and running.

I was grateful for the air conditioning. I thought my husband's in the right business (companies that deal with electricity and clean power). With the way we depend on technology; we have to have electrity to keep it all charged up.

Hey, I just thought that he is in the energy business and I so want to be in the "energy" business. Ha. The energy of the universe.

Meridians, tai chi, qi gong, yoga, exercise, massage; the body, the brain, the heart.    It's all energy work.

My wish for you is to live with reckless abandonment today. Make a choice through your own intuition and run/ride/dance with it.

You know you got it if it makes you think your nuts and you feel happy!

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!