Be U: Happy Father's Day

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Happy Father's Day

I think many men get a bum rap. I know I've learned to be sometimes critical of men and how different they are from women.  Alot are built and raised in a different fashion then women.

Women and Men are certainly different! I think it's supposed to be this way. God's humor.

Many boys were raised to be strong, tough, adventurous, show no emotions, get the job done and some were raised to even be self centered in hope of making them to be the best man they can be.   Most were raised to be the breadwinner, the caretaker, the ox behind the family dynamic.

Many men are very good at this; what they were taught. Now, things are being changed up and we want them to be more emotional, more sharing and less in their 'cave'.  Some of us want them to cry or show emotion to prove they are human!

I want my man to hold me up when I need it, love me, share his life and thoughts and be there for our child. I want him to be strong and I want him to be truthful about his weaknesses. I want to try to understand him and give him the benefit of the doubt when I do not.  I want him to smile.

If you have a great father in your man, there is no love like it. If he can love your children, guide your children, play with your children and teach your children, you have a great man.

Maybe some of us women can ask for what we want and need and not expect our men to know just because they love us.

I know I was talking one day about 'he is supposed to be there for me'. When asked what does that mean exactly, I found it wasn't completely easy to express exactly what I wanted him to do. Well, I realized (not easiest thing to accept) that if I didn't know exactly what I wanted from him, how did I expect him to know!

So, let's give our men the love we want from them. Let's treat them the way we want to be treated. Let's support them the way we want to be supported. Let's tell them exactly what we want and exactly how we feel before we lose our cool. Let's show them how we want to be treated by treating them in this manner.

Men are good people. Men are exciting, strong and loving. Men are the fathers to our children.

Hooray for Men.

I want to choose to not be mad at them for not doing something that I didn't even give them a true chance to do. I know my man loves me. I know he lives his life in want of protecting me and giving me everything possible.

I know my man is a great father. I salute him.

May you choose to let your man know how special in your heart he is. What he has given you in the past; who he challenges you to be; and how he is there for you in your true time of need.

May we thank them for all the fun they have added to our lives.

May we salute our men today and truly share with them extra love on this chosen day - Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day to all the men that are there for our children. THANK YOU.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!