Be U: Resisting Truth

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Resisting Truth

Oh, is our Universe 'loud' just now for me. It is on 'fire'. People are fired up. I am in awe of the power of what is going on. People are walking in many new circumstances, many new challenges and just the newness of change because what used to work fairly easily, no longer does.

I'm still watching my dog to see how she is going to fare. I do not know as she is in the middle of the health scope and I'm waiting to see which way her health will go.

I am flabbergasted by the amount of forced 'being' that seems to be on many I know. To me, it is a 'being' that each one of us has no clue how to 'be' this. Yet, it has been the sum of all our life that has brought us here.

There are many waters that are uncharted just now and many of us are floating and waiting and we have our sails up and our motors on and we know we are going somewhere; we feel it in the wind.

What I shared on Facebook/Twitter is that I believe by each of us being our authentic inner self we will create an authentic outer 'us'. By supporting each other to do this; helping each other to do this; sharing how we are doing this and the failure we know in learning to do this - we are creating a new way; a new world. We are creating the peace and harmony that as a whole will benefit all.  Allowing it to start from within will insure that we have a chance to stand strong individually united.

I am resisting this hardship and misunderstanding of our world as it is. I am resisting the pain that I feel with the pronounced new normal. I am overwhelmed by all the new normals. I do not easily embrace or know how to embrace all the new technology, the new awareness, the new greatness, the new problems that come from far away because far away is not so far away anymore.

So, as we settle into the strength and love of self; whether by desire or by desperation - we are all a part of a new day dawning.

How exciting and how scary. How wonderful and how challenging. How open and how colossal the impact of this openness can be.

Whether I resist the truth or not, the truth is still the truth.

May you face your truth head on and hold onto your head as you create a new truth that works for you today. You are not crazy, you are evolving. While this is going to be great 'stuff', there is challenge here as well. Perhaps, some of the biggest challenges of our lives.

Hear the story you are telling yourself. If the story hurts you, may you change it to one that brings you joy. It is time. You deserve it.

And as you claim joy, others will too. As others claim it, we all claim it. And once claimed in unison, individually... what else can there be but more joy...

Our world needs more joy.

Perfect time of year to claim the story of our life, as it totally is today, that makes us joyful.  Joy on.

Unknown

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!