My mind is not focusing on any one thing. My mind is scattered and truly not wanting to participate in my day.
I have the house up north issues; a house hunt down here issue; I have an apartment issue; I have stuff in storage issues; I have pet issues; I have issues on top of issues that I do not have answers to.
There is change in my change going on hourly.
I'm not allowing myself to feel safe. I'm not allowing myself to feel settled. I'm not being open to trusting all that is around me. I am trusting my self to feel my truth. I'm not trusting my truth to take the right action to create the best world for me. Hmmm
This is interesting. I'm not trusting myself to make a decision based on how I feel. I'm still hearing other opinions as more correct than my own; more 'knowing' than my own knowing.
Oh, I don't want to do this. I'm not following my gut or my peace as much as I would like to. I'm wanting to give more than I have. I'm wanting to fulfill outside of myself instead of inside of myself. This is why I feel like I do.
Oh bother! I am still learning. I am still not always following my inner knowing. I still am not just being me.
This is out of wanting love; wanting to please outside of myself first and not wanting to hurt or make anyone mad at me.
It feels childish, perhaps, because it is. I am not being the adult with all the tools to do my best. I am being the child living like the best knowing is outside of myself.
They say 'awareness comes first'. Well, awareness on. I don't much like it. I will sit with it and be open to doing better.
May you do, live, and know that you have the best 'knowing' for your life over anyone else. May you allow yourself to have the final say and follow and own what is inside you to do.
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