Be U: Sleep

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Sleep

Sleep is very important to the human body and mind. Without sleep, I get sluggish, irritable, moody, and tired. Some studies show where weight gain happens if we do not sleep enough because we eat to combat fatigue.

Many of us get 5 hour wake up drinks, drink coffee, sodas, drugs - whatever it takes to stay awake. Why, then, do we not just sleep when we feel tired and can. If we decided to do this as a society and supported each other in same, perhaps, we would all be more restful.

This comes up for me because I did not fall asleep until 1 am last night. This is late for me. I woke up a 6 am. This is early for me. I have a bit of a brain fog and I'm overtired where I can't relax or rest.

I know this process that I am 'buying into' to purchase this house that I fell for is what kept me up last night. I have a plumber coming today to be certain on how the plumbing works or doesn't work in this house.

Never say never.   And, I am choosing to take this route. Something in me is driving me to take this route, yet, I am the one moving my legs and speaking instruction on how to carry on and through.   I'm uncertain what happens after today. I truly have one or two ideas and I truly do not know anything for certain.

Faith, trust and will drive me. However, the anxiousness/excitement/fear that is coming with me - that I am allowing - is not how I want to proceed.

The anxiousness and fear are here because I'm not trusting myself to know what to do because my mind tells me I do not. My being tells me to 'walk through and see where you end up. You have you, regardless.'

I choose not to lose sleep over this path and I choose to learn and be open, loving, professional and get the job done to as far as I can.

My mind functions better with enough sleep. I am stronger with enough sleep.   I am more me with enough sleep.

May you let yourself sleep when you are tired and experiment if a proper amount of sleep is for you. May you learn if you function better or worse with the proper amount of sleep. Many believe we know the proper amount for ourselves...   Is this true ....

Perhaps, this can be an interesting experiment to see when, how and where you allow yourself downtime consciously and lovingly And the effect it has on you. Be kind, gentle and loving to yourself. Give yourself what you need. My wish for you.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!