Be U: Connection (A Lecture)

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Connection (A Lecture)

Is the way I am connected to people, the person I become? Is my connection to nature rejuvenating and helpful? When I get excited as I enter a big city, is this what is living?

When I look at what a person does for a career - I immediately think they are an expert in that field. Wait. This is not where I want to go....

What matters to me most is how people feel when they leave me. Are they inspired? Are they sad and defeated? Am I any of these things or all of them?

What matters in life is to do our best. What does this mean? Does it mean to accomplish and achieve the most.   Does it mean connect to as many as possible. Does it mean have the deepest relationships as possible.

What if each day we could have a different meaning in life. One day we live for happy, one day we live in sad; one day we strive to achieve the grandest; another day we accept and love what we have and are. It could be in increments of moments as well. It seems this is what most of us are doing - yet, we (or most of us) strive for MORE.

What if totally living is what you were doing right now? What you were doing yesterday.. what you plan to do tomorrow.

This is life. Nothing more; nothing less. Don't wait til tomorrow to use the fine china or wear that fancy dress or connect to someone you think special.   Live today.   Live it how it best suits you.

While you are living the best for you; it inspires me, and others, to live the best for themselves. Whatever you are feeling right now in this minute - own it. Own where you are, what you are doing, what you are feeling and own your dreams. Speak them, feel them, live them.

This is living. Waiting for tomorrow to be happy, or to lose pounds or make more money or to connect with someone to be happy..... isn't living (or I guess it is) but I hope you choose today.   I hope you choose today to be happy and if you feel like something or you feel like nothing... accept it.   Accept it in the moment you feel it and carry on. Proceed forward. Process you.

For the sake of my (our) sanity, just BE YOU. If you are hurt, say it. If you are sad, be it. If you are the happiest ever - share it. Grab what you have and live it. If it's not for you - change it. If it's for you - savor it. Believe that what you are doing today is what life is all about. A perfect 'more' is unachievable. You, with everything you are, everything you know and everything you have today is achievable - you are already there!

Let's all step through our own fear and live the life we want to live no matter how weird, crazy, nuts it is. Follow as close to your true self as possible, while coming from your infinite connection that you brought with you at birth, so we have a semblence of peace. Create new ideas so we have growth. Own what is inside of you because it's real. Come from what your soul knows....

How 'soulful' are you?   How 'soulful' do you want to be? What if bringing your soul to the forefront of this life is your sole purpose of living.....    Mmmmmm    And, from this, there are many 'branches', roads, extensions that we can all benefit from.

Happy is the Sol when a Soul comes to light.   (i've lost it now)!... or am I just getting it!   Ha.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!