Be U: Which Answer Works Best for Happiness

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Which Answer Works Best for Happiness

While eating breakfast outside at a restaurant the other morning enjoying the warmth of the air and the smell of the food and watching the birds, I was pretty relaxed.

Along came a man with a lawnmower and right there next to the tables up the hill he went to cut the grass.

My initial thought was 'wow, I can't believe he can make it up that hill - that's pretty good". The lady next to me immediately got the waiter to tell the lawnmower man to shut that thing down while she was enjoying her breakfast.

Two completely different thoughts, yes? At first, I thought (of course), that I am right. She is mean. I stay happy; she stays mean. However, I kept thinking about it and thought, what if that is what made her happy. What if the best thing to do in this situation is to go within and ask oneself what would make them happy.

Maybe one day it's to admire the strength of the 'lawnmower man' and another day is to have your space respected.

I'd love to know how to know this.............I guess she could have gone inside to eat. However, she is paying for her meal, so does this entitle one?

What would you have automatically thought/done? What would be your preferred way of handling this?

Is it possible my thought would have allowed the job to get done and alot of people to enjoy the beauty; whereas the lady's way only made herself happy (and maybe one or two other patrons)? Is this okay though? Very interesting in deed. I truly am stumped!

The lines between right and wrong can be very close and blurry at times. However, what our minds tell us is very real, true and leading for us. In the way that what we think and believe, leads us into our world. Our world and everything in it (or very close to everything) depends on how we think about the situation in front of us.

This is the hill and this is the one line the man did mow. Doesn't look like much of a hill (but it is - see the steps) and the uncut grass looks greener. Gorgeous landscaping, nonetheless.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!