Be U: Wowza

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Wowza

Nowadays, banks will not take wrapped coins; we have very little (if any) use of household telephones; many things may sometimes work; many professionals do not know many answers in their field of expertise; many laypeople do not feel so secure and all work very hard.   24/7 is a real thing.

I sure hope the youth of today are willing and excited to cope with the world like I was when I had my whole life in front of me. I hope these electronic, competitive times are more easily navigated by them than what I am experiencing.

Nowadays, I don't know where I'm going to be living; I'm surprised daily with news; and the future is completely open to create anew. Many are having such difficult, intense moments; and

it is a time of letting go; holding on; standing up; sitting down; relaxing; giving it our all; being together; being individuals - thinking that it's how we respond to our world that makes us us; and still thinking that thinking we are the center of our world is selfish....

WOWZA

WHICH WAY IS UP!?!??!?!?!?

This is the question that comes to mind just now --   WHICH WAY IS UP?!    lol and not really

I do believe we are all here together, on this Earth, at this time and it is one of the most dramatically changing times in all of history. We can connect with people on the other side of the world within seconds; we have computers doing our banking and thinking for us and we have telephones (like a third arm) that have almost all answers to every question imaginable at our fingertips. The telephones can record, document and store just about anything. Yet, just possibly, this is a time when many of us feel the most lost. What is up with this?!?!?!

What a great opportunity to be found!

WOWZA is all I can say, feel, think and believe.   I have to remember to breathe today.

May you connect and 'find' yourself and bring all of who you are with you wherever you go. Go lovingly, openly and share who you are with us. My wish.

This just may be the most important purpose of 'us'.   Learning to share all of what you are about, lovingly and allowing others be what they are all about, lovingly.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!