Be U: Underneath It All - Or Is It Above...

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Underneath It All - Or Is It Above...

When I sit in the moment and feel, maybe from a place of habit, maybe through my current thought(s), maybe from the currency from what is going on, I can feel/be/know anything between discomfort and comfort.

When I go underneath (or is it above) what I am [on the surface] feeling and/or experiencing, I am able to know excitement and belief in the possibility of being groomed by way of growth and experience(s) for exactly what is to be for me and my life.

As I feel frustrated for not being more hands on and productive, I can realize and choose to believe that I feel tired and/or a need to relax for real reasons and in allowing this feeling to come up, happen and be realized, I am the most productive I can be.

Honoring the way we feel and allowing ourselves to feel this way and react to our feelings in a loving and caring manner [through our own gentle strength] is the best way in, forward, through and onward.

In each moment, feelings matter. From moment to moment, we feel highs and lows. Outside of each moment; underneath and/or above, I can feel excitement and truth that what is happening now is preparing me for what is next or yet to come. This is when we are in lulls. And, we all experience lulls from time to time.

When we are in flow and fullness, we don't really question it; we surely do not look for it to be different. We experience, entertain and encompass everything that is for us, through us, in us and because of us.

What if, in our lull, the same things occur. We do not need to be something other. We experience lulls to prepare us in every way possible to have/be the energy, know-how, gratitude, desire, ability and openness to experience, what we consider, our greater and more enjoyable days.

It is the internal knowing that is underneath (or is it above) everything that is going on. The internal knowing can open up to and trust that what life is showing us in this moment, it is showing up to create the 'me' that I am best to be for the next and upcoming situation, possibility, goal and/or awesome experience.

May you let your internal knowing show up to create the 'you' that is best to be for whatever is coming up next. Flow with each moment. Receive each moment as it shows itself to you.

I am currently feeling an excitement, a celebration, a shift in meaning and living. I don't have full understanding of it. I only know I feel it. It is simmering underneath (or is it above) everything else. Easy, good, freeing and powerful days are within us. They are showing up; being created; within our reach, available and here for us now. We need only to believe and act as it is so.

We have made it to the cusp of new ways, a new world, new opportunities, new understandings with love and compassion readily available with who we are and what we are able to experience.

May you believe in you. May you open to new understanding, new opportunities, new ways, and a new way of being, living, doing, participating in and allowing the best version of you growing underneath it all (or is it above it all).

Perhaps, it doesn't matter where this new, better way of being, knowing and living is. What matters is that you know it is available to you now.

May you get it.

Let ease, love, inner knowing, universal guidance and peace be with you breath to breath to breath.

The magic is in you. You are the answer you've been looking for. The power of you will empower your life. All you need be is open to it happening and let truth of what is and truth of who you are combine synergistically. This is where IT is at. The IT factor that is you(rs).

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!