Be U: Betwixt

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Betwixt

I feel the energies of happy and fulfilling times. I feel the energies of confusion and uncertainty.

One moment I feel content and excited. The next moment I feel frustrated, uncertain and sad.

It feels like there is a wave of energies hitting us all at the same time and taking us (me anyway) on a ride between wholeness and pieces.

I feel excited about the future. I feel like I have no clear handle on the future.

I believe that really good things are preparing really good things to show up for us all.

I feel impatient as to when I will stay longer knowing deep peace in the positive mode of life and not be in the upheaval of information overload, changing conditions, new possibilities and letting go of what no longer works in this world as it is now.

I used to talk with friends how weird it would be to be on a phone call and be able to see each other. Many of us have lived through Y2K threats among other threats and even the reality of terrorism. To be able to talk to people thousands of miles away and see them in current time is astonishing. Cars parking themselves and driving themselves is really happening.

Things called Alexa, Siri and Google that we can tap into and learn about anything we could possibly think of and want to know are real. They can turn on or off our appliances. We can feed our animals treats when we are not even home.

Vacuums that move on their own -- Food prepared and delivered to our homes -- A thing called Amazon that sells just about anything and everything and with one click these items are delivered at our very own door in a very short period of a time; and on Sundays.

Whoa. Oh my. Yikes. Fantastic. Exciting. Man.

We are not where we have been. We are not where we are going. And, we surely are on a fast track to get to the future. The future is happening now.

Everything is being questioned. Kids are seen and heard; they are amazing us and challenging us in a lot of positive ways. Traveling to anywhere in our world is as easy as booking a ticket, having a passport and following and fulfilling whatever rules apply to make it so. Airbnb and Home Away allow us to book another's home wherever we travel to and stay there. Uber picks us up and drops us off through something called an App. And, there are Apps for everything.

There is not one electric company, one phone company and one gas company. There are hundreds.

I certainly feel I am betwixt in all of this. I sit right in the middle and it is very possible to experience it all. It is all knocking at my door, so to speak, to experience what and as I choose.

I have not quite learned how to pick, choose, experience, allow and use it all. In fact, the experts of each said 'new opportunity' do not know their own field complete ins and outs. We are moving at the speed of light or maybe even faster; or so it seems.

We are all in, one way or another, learning mode; changing mode; open and shut mode; happy and sad mode; figure it all out mode; and how do I feel about this mode.

Betwixt.

May you know that you are not alone. May you trust yourself and trust how you find yourself feeling and handling it all. May you love yourself through. May you support another. May you believe that this 'growth' is what we are here for as a unit, a team, a quest, a purpose and 'because'. You are enough. You are okay. You are right where you are supposed to be for the greater purpose of creating a better, more cohesive way of living; of life on this planet.

World Hug.

May we get this done. May we create better. May we lead with love. May we hold space for one another to process and prosper.

Good things are happening for good things to come. And, this 'good' is for You.

Let's do this. Amen. And so it is.

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!