Be U: Serious Sh*t

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Serious Sh*t

There is serious sh*t everywhere just now. Open a screen, take a walk and talk to someone, feel inside of yourself, look, know and be open...

There is serious sh*t everywhere.

Struggles are loud. Pain is prevalent. Journeys are unsettling. The air is thick with all of us doing our best and feeling, seeing and experiencing more (at one time and more deeply) than we have ever experienced before.

We are 'tapped in' to each other as never before. We can experience each other as never before. We can know and see each other like never before. Seriously; serious sh*t.

I'm wondering if you who reads this feels it; knows it; is experiencing it.

I am hoping that you who can validate this within their own life, can also know that this is the most exciting time for really good change, things, possibilities, expansion and great health also.

We are no longer able (not just willing) to keep quiet. We are no longer unaffected by what is happening 'over there'. The ripples are rippling loud, fast, fluently, lively and affecting us all.

Possibly, we can choose to not participate. I believe it is extremely important and helpful to disengage from time to time to reflect, reenergize, rebuild, renew and reestablish our own self going forward. It is very hard to not feel, at least, a ripple or two if you are breathing.

I read where the realness of life is coming from and into our own hearts more than ever.

We are at the cusp of no longer letting (or are easily able to let) anything that 'beats us up' stay in our cells, memories and/or beings through the process of burying and/or numbing or disregarding.

It is not just mindspace that knows and connects us to our daily life. It is an open heartspace that is necessary to thrive in this new world of technology, lightning fast change and/or best possible relationships. Our own hearts are being strengthened through many maladies.

It is the relationship with our self that is growing; becoming; being challenged; being examined, being felt and figured out. It is up to ourselves to participate, allow, watch and achieve the fullness of who we are and who we want to be.

What to do... ... ... In this space, can you hear what comes up for you to do... what answer(s) are here at your service... what do you hear, see, know, feel to be your very next step in this moment...

Moment to moment. Breath to breath. If you wanted to come up with any thing at all, what would it be... No judgment; just allowance; just let 'er rip.

Allow. Accept. Truth. Be it all. Live in it all. Be present to it all. Be open to it all. Hold on to what sticks easily to create contentment. Let go of what you cannot capture, what wants to stick but what isn't your truth right now in this present moment.

Can you absolutely, 100%, without a doubt know, feel, see and be it...

Do you absolutely, 100% want to create from within what you are knowing, feeling, seeing and becoming.

Joyful spontaneity... May it be yours. As you open to it, you invite it in.

May you be open to joyful spontaneity. This is the serious sh*t that I wish for you. Reflect on yourself and introduce yourself to the awesome within. The Universe; God; your Creator; Life has you tethered to everything you need for this lifetime; it is already within your ownership and ability.

Whether it be a spark or a blazing inferno, you have what is necessary to make it through so much more than our minds alone let us believe.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!