Be U: Whatcha Talking About

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Whatcha Talking About

It is almost midnight and I am not feeling sleepy and something kept urging me to come to the computer. So here I am.

It is my hope that you are knowing happy sleep, deep sleep, healing sleep and rejuvenating sleep; at times, if not always.

Trust whatever You are feeling. Delve into it with the intent to honor, recognize and love on yourself. Your love matters. You matter.

Fighting what is can sometimes make the 'it' stronger. Going into what is and participating from a place of wanting to understand and support can often change the 'it'.

Fill yourself with the gloriousness of You and let the wisdom and love of You(rs) take place within and along with whatever you experience.

When/If you find yourself not being able to sleep, one can breathe deep and focus on your deep breaths. One can relax into one's self and let the bed underneath you support you and your whole body. With every deep breath you take, relax deeper and deeper with every exhale. The goal would be to get to the place where you are not asleep but completely relaxed, being, breathing, accepting, flowing with the place and experience you are in. The place of not awake but not yet asleep. The quiet place. The silent place. The place of you and your 'beingness'. This is where healing takes place. Answers shine through. Blood flows. Cells rejuvenate. Happiness seeps through. The depth of You becomes known.

It is a sacred place full of your sacredness. You can imagine yourself floating on a cloud. Surrounded by comfort and love. Filled with peace. Knowing the joy of being You.

Miracles happen every day. Sometimes we no longer (or never did) see experiences as miracles because they feel like they are a 'normal' part of life. Yet, breathing, just being, feeling, acknowledging and being aware of your full presence in each moment - miracles.

Who you are without your titles, without your accolades, without your issues, this You is where miracles come from.

When we are on our deathbed, noone says they would have worked harder, pushed more, had more titles. Most people remember the relationships and the love. This is what we take on with us.

May you be present with your love in anything and everything You do, think, are; become, grow into and experience. Love is what best connects us to the place deep inside of us, with the universe, with each other and our greatest joys and times.

You are love. You matter. Your love. Your wisdom. Your uniqueness. Your experiences. Your truth. Your trust. Your thoughts. Your reactions. These are what make you You and what creates your life.

Trust that where you are now is exactly where you are supposed to be. Love it or not, what you experience is supporting your best growth, shows you about life and living. As you let loving truth, your love/your truth, walk in and through with You, your best paths and best possible experience(s) show up, build, create and support your lessons and the possibility of your greatest possibilities and ways.

Sleep matters. What matters more, perhaps, is your flow with what is - true to You, loving to You, open to You.

As you stand in your most highest vibration, you invite the highest vibrations to You. When you are in a fulfilled moment, filled with what fulfills You, this is when, just maybe, You live and share the greatest kindness and the greatest feelings, the ‘greatest of’ with others.

It is best when we are happy and fulfilled to be able to give the best of ourselves into the world.

I can imagine.. I have experienced.. I have witnessed..

May the best of ourselves unite together and may we feel the gloriousness of this unity growing, becoming and experienced as a normal every day thing that feels miraculously wonderful.

Not that everything is perfect or even issue free but that living this way picks us up, lives out loud from love and we know that we are in a safe, amazing environment that supports us always and underneath it all, or is it above it all, we find ourselves okay through it all. We are never not okay even when we don't like the experience, feeling, moment we are living in. Because this is life and we are living our best one; individually, together.

I bow my head and pray. For You. For Me. For Us. We love through our truth because our cells, organs, spirit and soul know this is the best way to live this thing called LIFE. Yours. Mine. Ours.

Amen. May it be so. It is so. It is a choice. May you choose You(r best).

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!