Be U: Read Reach

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, November 3, 2022

Read Reach

I was reading just now and what I was experiencing through the writer’s story was ‘life’.

I'm reminded how this, just now, is each of us living life. Having life experiences. This is it. This is life happening. We process and live through our thoughts, our pleasures, blessings, lessons, wonders and experiences. This is life.

I am feeling like a basketful of deep suspense. Uncertainty. Blunders. Electric energy (lightning bolt style) within my body not knowing where to land. I am feeling so much love and dedication to making it through to where Peace and Kindness (Love) is what carries and leads us all.. more than anything else.

I just can’t help myself. Finding myself in deep introspection. Unless, this is exactly what helps me.

It feels to me that I/we are living between worlds just now.

Egad. I need sleep. Or maybe to wake up. See. The uncertainty, multiplicity and the blundering.

As I wrote the above paragraphs late last night, I am coming to this blog now with an intent in the back of my mind to share about feeling like I am living between two worlds. And it just so happens, I was thinking the same thing with what I previously wrote.

It’s very cool and ‘interesting’ (that is one word) how there are always synchronicities, signs, lessons, support, encouragement always happening as we allow ourselves to see and connect to same.

There is so much information, change, questioning of traditions and what was, what isn’t and what is being birthed forward.

Hence, two worlds. Our old ways. Our feelings. Our new ways. Just now, my feelings live in both. My knowledge lives in both.

My innate wisdom lives in this moment, open.

My body is kind of ‘hanging out’ waiting to see where what is growing inside of and through me, in conjunction with my surroundings. What is my/our forward and onward going to be.

May you be true. May you be open. May you be friends with your feelings. May you Be U; as much and as often as possible, through love.

Let’s fly higher than we have ever flown. Create a world of synergy, opportunity, togetherness and love.

The more each of us lives trusting the process of life and ourselves, open and inclusive to what works for each other — the mostest, bestest, greatest ways of our ‘new’ world show up.

May you stand up as You with open heart, mind and arms. Arms that embrace a wholeness of what You are feeling, a heart that ignites love. A mind that expands into the best and most beautifully loving ways.

Step by step by step.

Let You shine. Let You shine. Let You shine.

We are in take off mode. May be bumpy for a while yet. We will get to the summit by stretching and opening our beautiful, metaphorical wings.

I will meet You there. Reach with me. I so see us all there.

The amazing life within each of us, fulfilled.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!