Be U: Inside Out

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, November 6, 2022

Inside Out

Life is rearranging itself in big ways and also rearranging most of us, if not all of us, in big ways too. Individually and together. From the inside out.

This just may be what is being asked of us and best for us.

I imagine this pendulum that is so far the opposite of what we have been living - with 'the elephant in the room' and 'dirt swept under the rug'. We have been living in a truth that we were/are ignoring, not aware of, didn't/don't know how to handle, and, most likely, other reasons as well.

The pendulum is way on the other side of where it was and we are being asked (maybe even forced) to witness, feel, and participate in this swing from what was to what is to what will be.

The pendulum will eventually find its middle and so will our world and each of us; through new paths and ways and through living in our truth aware, out loud and, oh I so hope, through love and unity.

It is time. It is now. It is asking. We are the witnesses and the ones, here now, participating in the way we know.

May we be open to knowing our best, most loving and helpful way.

Deal with the 'elephants' and clean 'the dirt under the rug' so to speak.

We do this by living in our truth as lovingly and openly as possible. From what is inside of us out.

We are living in this 'truth' whether we are participating genuinely or not. The truth still remains for us to realize it head on. I find it is best and most forthright through love.

When I speak my truth through love to the situation, experience, relationship that it involves, I open doors, windows and roofs for myself. I, just by being me, invite others to do the same. We all do.

May you speak your truth through love direct to the situation, experience, and/or relationship involved.

May you realize that when you become brave enough to share your vulnerability and real feelings from the inside of you out - doors, windows and roofs open up and processes this energy from its origin to where it is best now and going forward.

In living through our truth, lovingly as possible, it creates the most magical and life altering blessings and ways of being in this thing called life.

The way(s) of life are being recreated. May you tap into You and let You out.

We are living in this truth that is present anyway so we might as well live in it wholly, mindfully, real to it and present in it. That's the way we get the life we want done.

Praying and believing in us all to live in the magic that is each one of us. You. You. You and You.

Your truth. Your love. Your experience. Your openness to understand another's different from You.

Inside Out. May you get in the swing of this.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!