Be U: Namaste

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Namaste

Beautiful colors and vibrancy feel like blessings to me. I am reminded that orange can represent emotional balance, harmony, passion, freedom, intuition, and expression of emotions. These all can be positive and helpful things as most of us, perhaps with extra depth now, have been and are being touched by the energies that are around us and in us. Emoting our emotions in healthy ways opens everything we feel into creating the best forward paths possible. Our feeling and processing of our emotions clears out the old and invites in the new.

I choose to see this as hope of the vibrancy of our own lives and kindness, compassion and understanding that no two lives experience life or even the same experience exactly the same. We have been known to experience life through past experiences and current feelings. We all, right here, right now, have an opportunity to ignite our most loving parts of our own beings and our very own, unique life itself. To pour on and out the goodness; to support the passion of us all living our best life in harmony, balance and love. Possibilities are present (more than every) to let go of what weighs us down to be able to do just this.

May you give yourself a moment to see and feel if this rings true for You. Do you feel different... Do you feel extra irritable at times... Do you feel lost.. Do you feel confused... If yes to any of these, just maybe, you are being 'guided' to live your life from a different place; a different mindset; new avenues that, maybe, you have never or at least for a very long time, lived.

May we all permit ourselves freedom to harmonize and balance our inside self with our outside surroundings; instinctually and passionately.

May we all protect our earth, our world, ourselves and each other by letting our own love walk through with mindfulness, gentle strength and wisdom in what we are being asked to live in; today, right now and always.

Namaste. The divine place and depth within me honors and respects the divine place and depth within you.

Namaste in divine connection. 'Namabea' love for and to the land, water, air, spirit, soul and your inside flame. That’s how I roll.

'Namabechillin' in loving truth. It ain’t always pretty. It is always raw, freeing and amazing. Get it. Send it. Be it. Live it. Share it. Honor it.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!