Be U: Childhoodship

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, October 9, 2020

Childhoodship

I have been avoiding myself in regards to this blog as, while I was enjoying and grateful for this experience, it goes deep for me and I am truly feeling uncertain that I have the energy, strength and words to complete what I am feel myself wanting to share and/or being called to share.

Magnesium. The simple subject is magnesium. One of my current paths, signs and experiences that feel like they are aligned run deep, are exciting and also flabbergasting.

It is often said to start at the beginning so...

It started in my childhood I would get huge discomfort and stomach pains immediately after sitting down at the table and eating a meal During this discomfort and pain, I would find myself sitting still [as calmly and quietly as possible] amidst the pain and breathe and hope/pray for it to stop.

I don't remember when this stopped but it did Until now. The same exact feeling and experience is coming up again for me and on a very regular basis.

I ask others ‘What is it you can’t stomach?’ when I hear them tell me they are having discomfort and/or pain in their stomach I know the microbiome and the health of it is a big topic of research and discussion just now by many scientists and healers Many are saying that an unhealthy and/or unbalanced gut microbiome is what is leading most to dis-ease. Mostly through inflammation; always inflammation.

Recently, something inside of me told me to take magnesium. When I started to research this, this is where it got very interesting to me

Being interested and as thorough in investigating as Sherlock Holmes, one thing lead to another I took snapshots of my journey. I hope to relate them here. Bear with me, please. Perhaps, think of or allow young, little You to be present.

First thing I went to was 'magnesium deficiency'. It read immediately that deficiency in magnesium leads to cold hands and feet. Raynaud's Phenomenon is also possible. This affects the circulation to our extremities and can create pain, numbness, tingling and less mobility. The skin in these areas may also discolor and not return to pink until you are warm again. Yes. Me.

Magnesium is just as important for digestion and gut health. Being low in magnesium can create constipation and one may even get painful stomach cramps... Oh, I'm getting excited now..

Magnesium is involved in over 300 cellular processes including synthesizing proteins and ADP (creating energy). Cool.

And, just to throw this information in, the deficiency in magnesium is said to cause calcium deficiency. Magnesium and Calcium can work together to support normal blood pressure.

Wow.

So, I'm feeling pretty wowed about now and think, heck yes, try magnesium. I have nothing to lose. So, I started about two weeks ago. I am interested to see where, if anywhere, this will lead me.

I have an ulcer on my finger just now from scleroderma. It is not fun. It hurts. And, we all have 'our stuff', don't we...

Magnesium rich foods are dark chocolate, avocados, nuts, seeds, bananas, raisins and leafy greens.

I'd like to offer you [and your inner child] to investigate and 'play'. If something comes up for you or you are reminded of something or feeling some sort of way, trust your instinct. Trust your inner knowledge. Listen to it and respond. You have nothing to lose if it feels loving, right, true, doesn't hurt you or anyone and wows you. You never know where it may lead you.

It is my hope that it leads you to a happier, deeper, better version of You.

May you play. May you believe [know] that divine timing, intervention, information and 'ness' (divineness) is always working in your favor.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!