Be U: Giraffe

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Giraffe

I have been seeing giraffes; noticing giraffes a lot lately. I went to Ted Andrews’ book, “Animal Speak” and this is what I read...

Giraffe

"... are you saying things you shouldn't? Are you not saying things that you should? Are you allowing others to speak inappropriately or allowing their words to affect yourself? If a giraffe has come into your life, ask yourself some important questions. Are you seeing what is ahead of you? Are you afraid to look ahead? Are you seeing other people's perspective? Do you allow other's refusal to see your own perspective affect your life? Are you seeing the consequences of your thoughts, words and deeds?

Are you resisting moving into new areas you see for yourself? Are you resisting change? Are you afraid of the future? The giraffe can show you the future and how best to move toward it. When running, the legs and the neck of the giraffe work together, reminding us that it is not enough to see the future, but you must move toward it as well.

With the giraffe, there are actually three horns. The third actually looks more like a lump under the skin, but it is located just above the eyes. This placement is very significant as this is the area of the body associated with the third or inner eye--the seat of higher intuition. This only serves to reinforce the farsighted perception that the giraffe and its energies can awaken within you."

Ok. So, I do not really understand or connect easily with much of this. Ha.

I like the third eye perspective. It means to me a sense of awakening and enlightenment. An awareness that can go beyond the physical and include the spiritual beingness of living this human life. An increase in foresight which is to see and understand the bigger picture from what is happening in the now. I do not know the future but I believe I am living as such for it to happen as I feel it...

I like the idea of listening to my own perspective when all is said and done. When I've gathered information, connected to my feelings and hearing what other's have learned and experienced, I still choose my way to do me.

I am resisting 'doing'. I've been resisting it for a long time. I am open to change and believe in change. I believe that when my time to do is now, I will 'do'; and I will do it brilliantly. In the meantime, I am open to learn more about myself; about life; about forgiveness; about listening; about how I am 'touched' and how I 'touch' others. I am open to let my love grow, become, be and be experienced. The doing part will happen.

For me, it is the professional doing that is not so available to me. For me, the doing me; living my truth; allowing my feelings; sharing, helping and supporting is on.

I tire easily. I do fear professionalism and scleroderma together at this juncture of my life. And, I know it is meant to happen. I know as it is meant to happen, nothing will stop it. I foresee it happening. I feel it happening. I feel myself moving towards it. When the time is here, I am ready.

My legs and my neck, which is the bridge between my heart and my mind, will run together in unison and step firmly on the earth and live the next chapter of my life feeling safe, involved, happy and together; with you. All of us open to living our best selves.

For now, I stand in my vulnerability, my truth, my vision and my innerness creating the opportunity to live all that is yet inside of me to live.. out.

May you be true to you. See, feel, know and breathe into your dream(s). Into what you feel inside of you. May you be aware, mindful and open to who you are and what you want to do, share, be and live.

Let your heart and your mind work in unison through everything that is You.

You are beautiful, unique and your perspective matters. May you let it be so. Live through what you know and feel. Own what you want and need to say. Believe what your heart and mind working together tells you. Live all that is inside of you out; as it comes up for you.

Your energy touches up to the sky and down into the earth. You are this beautiful and this powerful. Connect and just let You be so.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!