Be U: Light

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, June 4, 2018

Light

Something is telling me to do a post on 'light'. I don't know if it is about being the opposite of heavy or if it means a light bulb or fixture or about one's own light from within.

I just keep hearing the word 'lite' in my mind.

I sit at the computer and start typing. I have no idea or clue as to where this is going to lead. I know the last post I did had the word 'heavy' in the title. I know it has felt heavy talking to people about life. The rain has been heavy for over two weeks in a row. I want to lighten up. I have been thinking about getting a light pink added to my hair color.

As I sit here I see nite lights, fountain lights, landscaping lights. There is a light above my head in the middle of the ceiling fan.

I hear the light trickle of the fountain water making its way through the cycle that the pump creates to keep it flowing.

I'm thinking about eating some delicious and juicy cherries when I am done here. They are what I could consider a light food. Ha. lol

My phone sits next to me here on the desk. The screen is dark as the phone is quiet.

I want to offer some enlightening words to help support you in lightening up your own world.

I believe as we individually, together do better; create better; live more fulfilled and share the best of ourselves, our whole world will light up so bright and its vibration will rock us all into a peaceful state of being -- like a mother rocking her baby to slumber.

As we lighten up on ourselves, we lighten up on each other. There is no other way but to individually, together create a oneness of being supportive, helpful, fulfilled and empower one another through love. No more war, putting another down, hate, or ugliness.

I wish to live in a world where the brightest thing we share is our own loving/lovable soul.

As we live through our souls, we light up our own lives and light up each other's lives. This would be da bomb. The type of bomb I would like to see explode; exploding with loving light.

So, as you do you today, may you think of the light inside of you. The light you wish to surround you. The light that shows you your best path forward. The lightness of you.

May you own your own light and empower it to shine as it is meant to. Own who you are. Let you be free. Let what makes you joyful burst forth. No holding back. Let who you are, from the depth of yourself and where you connect with your higher power, shine out.

Imagine if you were only light, what color would you be... what color would you want to be. Aim for this.

Light up your light. Lighten up. Just for this moment, feel the lightness of being free to live the life that inside of you to live.

What is one thing that you can do right now to support the best and happiest part of you that makes you lighter and brighter...

May you give yourself permission to lighten up and do one thing that you have been wanting to do that comes from connecting to your own heart and soul. You are free to do it. What would it be... Be this light for yourself.

How admirable. How inspiring. How lovely. How awesome.

Travel in the light of you. "You know you got it if it makes you feel good."

Lovingly get it. My wish for You.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax your shoulders. Feel the ground underneath you supporting you. Relax into you. Do something outrageously fun. Do you. Do it honorably, lovingly and, hopefully, with much belly laughter.

May you enjoy your own joy. You are the creator of everything that is you. May you create yourself alight.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!