Be U: Meteorite Hits Russia

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Meteorite Hits Russia

I don't know much about this. I only saw on the news that way too many were hurt and a meteor fell out of the sky and hit Russia. I AM SORRY if you are or know someone that is affected by this crazy natural disaster.

How do we feel safe again after we have been through a natural disaster.... We know it CAN happen; we lived through one (or more).

How do we trust that we are safe...   Is it best if we tell ourself that God has us and our destiny is what it is so worrying changes nothing. Live each day as best, as honest and as full of joy as we can and share today with our loved ones, our peers, the beauty that IS all around us.

What comes to mind is that some believe we get constant reminders; game changers; nudges to go in certain directions in our lives. They start off soft and they get harder and bigger until we finally hear them and our path changes. Is this what happened here....

Why does it feel to me that innocent people get hurt... Is this something to do with that most of us have a bigger heart opening to innocent people than people who have 'wronged' us or our community. Do we SEE easier when innocent people are hurt....

What would our world be like if we all lived together in the harmonious way and speak/share our truth instead of allowing it to grow into anger and something ugly.

I've been feeling and knowing lately that the best way to solve an issue with someone is to talk it out with them.. ooooo scary.   But, talking about it to others will not SOLVE it. Keeping it in and bottled up will not solve or change my dilemma. If I talk to the person I have uncomfortable feelings with, there is a chance of solving same.

What if conflicts arise because we see something in the other person that reminds us of something we do not like about ourselves....   What if we create conflict because of what we believe another SHOULD be doing or saying. (This can be especially hurtful if we do not give the other person a chance or inkling on how they could help us.)

I read a word last night - 'islets' which means (anatomy) a portion of tissue structurally distinct from surrounding tissues (kindle dictionary). I highlighted this word because I felt that my skin was like this.   Parts of my skin are islets.    I decided this morning to think and put more focus on the healthy skin on/in my body.   There is way more of the healthy than not.

Perhaps, we can focus on the truth of our uncomfortableness and go to the source (or what we believe to be the source) and share our uncomfortable truth with this specific person.  It is definitely worth a shot at making it better. Just what if it worked! If not, we know we gave it a true shot and I move on from there.

I hope I see more about this crazy meteor as to better understand what happened. I don't like that it happened there and I don't like that it happened at all. Did it get attention where attention was needed.... I don't know. I pray good comes from the ugly.

Our world is changing. My world is changing.   My thoughts and being are changing. I'm in a kind of limbo just now. It is not the most comfortable of places for me.   I do trust that I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

I create with what is.

May you create you with what is your truth, your surrounding, your knowledge and with the heart of who you are.

My sympathy for the people that had to experience a meteor falling from our sky.

We are powerless amongst much. We are not powerless with how we see, feel, deal and create with what is.

Better, more meaningful days are here. It's up to us how we see and live them. This is good news/bad news, perhaps -- that it is totally up to us.   Ha.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!